Denial
by Maigon Jesolite
Summary: SiriusOC. The eternal story of Chloe Stone, who Sirius got pregnant at 15, and then a whole load of weird things happened. Now most of them are living in the afterlife. FINISHED!
1. PART ONE Sirius, the Bastard

Denial  
  
Part One  
  
Chapter One - Sirius, the Bastard  
  
*****  
  
I'm sure most people will agree that they want to be pregnant at fifteen, trapped inside a boarding school, going to practically every lesson with the bastard father, who had no idea what was inside you. Always been my favourite hobby at least. Ok, so I'd only knowledgably been doing it for half a day. That's what happens when you put off seeing the school nurse about the funny feelings in your stomach, and the lack periods and so on... So anyway, I'd just been landed with this baby in the middle of my OWLs, which I had no idea I had (the baby I mean - I knew all too well about the OWLs), who's father happened to be the biggest twat in the school (what a lucky baby), Sirius Black. I mean could you get more immature? No! Not even James was more immature! Stupid childish pranks, winding up teachers, not bothering with work. Good body wasted on a thick mind. It's a real shame he's so gorgeous. Perhaps then we would have had less stupidly obsessed girls about some thick-headed prat, who was stupidly over protective of his spikey hair.  
  
What did he think he was doing going and getting me pregnant! Why didn't he use protection? And it certainly wasn't my idea to go out with him in the first place, I mean it's HIM who was the biggest womaniser in school. Prick. All dick, no brain. Bastard. What a bastard!  
  
I mean, what was I meant to do with a baby for God's sake! I was fifteen! And he was hardly going to be a help was he? Sirius and responsability are words which would only fit into the same sentence if it was "Sirius has never even heard of resposibility." Idiot.  
  
No-one knew. No-one was going to find out. Especially not Sirius. Ok, maybe Kira or Lily would know, eventually, and obviously the school nurse, but that was it. No-one else. Not Ellisa, not Mya, not any of the stupid boys or anyone else in my year, house, or the whole school. No teachers, no-one! If anyone found out it was Sirius's fault, not mine.  
  
Bastard.  
  
Now why did that word keep coming up?  
  
Sirius was sitting down the table, chatting away quite happily to his dear friends, and current sock, Michelle, a fourth year Ranvenclaw. I called his girlfriends his socks because that's how often he changed them. Occasionally he would keep one for a while, but eventually it would start smelling really badly, and instead of washing it, and wearing it again, he'd throw it away. That's what he did with me. Michelle on the other hand kept coming back for another two-and-a-half days of Sirius Black. She was an idiot as well. A blonde one at that. Bimbo.  
  
It was divination next. Always my favourite subject. Or not as the case may be. As Kira and I (Lily, the sane one, didn't take it) made our way to the tower, we were followed by my favourite person - Sirius Black! Oh, and of course, his little friends, Jocko James, Randy Remus, and Pathetic Peter. Why they took divination I had no idea, but they did, and that was what mattered.  
  
"Oh, the joys of divination!" James said, too-cheerfully, from behind me.  
  
"Indeed." Came a reply - Sirius, "I've always loved the mystery and excitment, the inevitable doom."  
  
Did they ever shut up? No.  
  
"Do they ever shut up?" I asked Kira  
  
"Of course not, do you expect them to?" She replied.  
  
"I may have to kill Sirius." I commented as he pointed out the 'lovely' weather.  
  
"Someone fancies Sirius!" Kira teased, shaking her head and poking my nose.  
  
I shrank away "Don't do that! It tickles. And there is no way in hell I fancy Sirius!" I said firmly. Kira just looked at me with her bright blue eyes. Then she said:  
  
"How does it tickle?"  
  
"Like this." I poked her nose. She continued to stare at me, and after a moment she shook her head.  
  
"No, that doesn't tickle," She said as we reached the landing. Just then the silver ladder appeared before us, and I followed Kira as we climbed up.  
  
We were studying Crystal balls again, practising for our OWLs. I could never make any sense out of them. In fact I could never make any sense out of anything related to divination. Apart from tarot cards. They were fun. A few minutes in, when the bordom was really settling, Peter finally saw. Surprisingly Peter's really good at divination. Well, compared to anyone else in the class. Anyway, he started talking quietly to Sirius. We were on the next table, so I could hear every word.  
  
"I can see you, Sirius." Peter said.  
  
"Well, obviously" He replied.  
  
"No, in the crystal ball."  
  
"How can you tell it's me?" Sirius asked, using it as a good distraction from having to concentrate himself.  
  
"Spikey hair." Peter stated simply. "You're with a girl," I rolled my eyes. Typical. "And she doesn't even have perfect figure, she's quite fat,"  
  
"What's wrong with me?" Sirius whispered, "Ok, stop looking into my personal life, and look into someone elses."  
  
"No, this is fun!" Peter said, "Ok, now your putting your arms round her, and hugging her. She's looking up at you smiling..." A sharp poke in his side from Sirius made Peter lose his concentration. At least I could be sure it wasn't me. I would never hug of smile at Sirius!  
  
*****  
  
A/N: Please review! This is my first Sirius fic. I've been meaning to do one for ages. I need reviews to know it's worht writing though, please? Please? Please???  
  
Ok, I'll shut up now. Apart from, if you'd care to review (no need to read) Save Tonight I'd be very grateful! It's my L/J. You'd need to read Black Lily if you wanted to read it, but don't review Black Lily. I want my Save Tonight reviews to beat Black Lily. Like a sad lonely competition with myself. Anyway, love ya!  
  
- Mai 


	2. Sirius, the Sexy Beast

Denial  
  
Chapter two - Sirius, the Sexy Beast  
  
*****  
  
You know I didn't always hate Sirius Black. The fool that I was, I used to think I loved him. I wouldn't have done it otherwise. It was a month long relationship. A miracle for Sirius, I asure you. He used to be so sweet, and funny. He may be a bastard, but I've got to admit, he's a great comedian. Always making an arse of himself, but still seemeing so great. He used to spend whole nights with me, and kiss me, sometimes purposefully in front of other people, so they'd be jealous of me. Bit up himself, but what do you expect. He was a bastard underneath it all then, and he was still a bastard a week after I found out I was pregnant. He was abastard, but, as I said before, a gorgeous one. Probably the most gorgeoud guy in the whole school. Lily dissagrees, but won't tell us who she thinks the most gorgeous guy in the school is, and Kira says it's some, random seventh year, who she stalks from time to time.  
  
Sirius had this gorgeous, dark, tanned skin, and dark brown eyes, and dark hair, in his funny spikes, and he was always willing to just sit there with you, just holding you. He was still a bastard, but you know... I hate him. I didn't always hate him, but I do now. He just dumped me. Just like that. Only three days after... we got a little carried away. For some Ravenclaw called Michelle. Bitch. Bastard.  
  
But it was a week since I found out now. Still not long enough to get over any of it. I mean, I think I was probably more shocked than before. How could I be pregnant? How could it be Sirius's? Scientifically it's obvious, but SIRIUS!  
  
Ok, so he HAD been funny, and clever, and sexy, but he wasn't anymore!  
  
Bastard!  
  
It was morning, and I'd woken up early, and was lying in my bed, fuming at the canopy. Obviously the canopy hadn't done anything wrong, but Sirius's anoying little face was dancing over it saying "Squash me! Squash me!" In this stupid whiney little voice. I considered taking a shower, before anyone else got up, but decided agianst dragging myself from my lovely warm bed. Then again, I might have been able to get rid of Sirius's stupid face! I slowly pulled myself up, and went to shower.  
  
The shower was an improvement. Sirius was still there, dancing across the shower door, but I couldn't hear him because of the noise the shower was making. I washed quickly, and went back into the dorm. As I entered I was hit by a sudden wave of cold and yelped. Lily was doing the stupidest thing! She was sitting next to a window that she'd just opened, in just her pyjamas.  
  
"Lily! Close the window, it's freezing!" I snapped at her. I ran across the room, trying to keep my towel up, and banged it shut.  
  
"It was quite refreshing actually." Lily said loftily, walking into the bathroom to take her shower. I sat and shivered on my bed for a moment before remembering that I was a witch in my fifth year at Hogwarts. I performed a drying and warming spell over myself, closed my curtains, and got dressed.  
  
I climbed off my bed, and went to stare at myself in the mirror. Tie not low enough, not enough jewellery, skirt too long. Those I could adjust. Too-baggy robes I was just going to have to live with. All my others were in the wash. I was going to have to get used to them anyway. Being pregnant wasn't going to allow for an hour-glass figure.  
  
I suppose it was tough titties!  
  
That sentence reminded me of Sirius. Perverted he may be, but isn't every sixteen year old guy? Ok, no, Sirius was a bastard! A pervertad bastard! I would NOT defend him! Stupid idiot...  
  
I looked at my timetable. Defense Against the Dark Arts - Potions - Divination. Interesting day, but not particularly fun, or easy. Apart from Divination. Dos lesson.  
  
Anyway, first there was breakfast to look forward to. Generally I didn't have more than a cup of tea for breakfast, but now I was eating for two. Admittedly that should have meant two cups of tea, but it wasn't that simple. Sirius, on the other hand, was. (No defending now, hey? Not at all!)  
  
So breakfast passed by with a mug of hot chocolate, and bowl of manky looking, but surprisingly tasty porridge, and lo and behold it was defense against whatsit. We had a teacher with a high sqeaky voice, and a yorkshire accent. She had absolutely no control over the class whatsoever, which was rather ironic as she should have known that as a DADA teacher. So we always took the piss. Tres amusant.  
  
We got to the lesson, and passed the minutes before the lovely professor came sitting on the floor of the corridor discussing which accent to put on this time. I was intent on have a brummy as no-one can do it like I can (having come from Birmingham. It faded after five years of Hogwarts. I can still call it back when I want though), but Kira was bored of scottish and couldn't do an irish. Lily was quite happy with french, being very sofisticated, but Kira and me...  
  
It went something like this:  
  
"I want brummy!" (Kira)  
  
"But I'm always brummy!" (me)  
  
"I never get to be brummy." (still Kira)  
  
" 'Cause you're crap at it" (still me)  
  
"Chlo-e! That was uncalled for." (surprisingly still Kira. Ok, you got who's who by now)  
  
"No it wasn't."  
  
"Yes it was! Do cheesey american or something."  
  
"Ellissa always does that."  
  
"So? It's only Ellissa. I'm having brummy."  
  
"You never have any variety."  
  
"I'm happy that way."  
  
"Well, I wouldn't be. I'm dead bored of Scottish"  
  
"But you're so funny when you do it!" (THAT was Lily. I wouldn't compliment Kira at a time like this)  
  
"You're so selfish." (me)  
  
"You're selfish AND boring."  
  
"I couldn't care less."  
  
"Yes you could. Just ONCE be something OTHER than brummy, I want to have a go at it, but you don't give a chance."  
  
At this point I crossed my arms and turned away. Throughout the lesson I did my strongest brummy accent. Kira did as well. And failed miserably. Unluckily for me Lily stayed on Kira's side, so I had to work with this random Ravenclaw called Anna. Life goes on, I'm sure.  
  
*****  
  
It wasn't utterly pointless I swear. Well, it might have been, but you know, life goes on.  
  
Reviews! Please!  
  
Ok, that sounds quite pathetic, but you know, reviews are a good thing, unless they're flames, which I will not ignore, and I will not welcome, and I will not be indifferent to. I won't take action on what they're telling me, I'll simply argue against them, and get annoyed, and it would probably help the story with the fact the main character has to get really stressy at some point, buit not in any other way.  
  
Anyway, love you (unless you're an evil flamer) - Mai. 


	3. Sirius, the Stress Machine

Denial  
  
Chapter three - Sirius, the Stress Machine  
  
*****  
  
Later that day we were in divination, same as last week, same as every week. We sat at our usual table, in our usual seats, next to the usual people (not that Sirius is normal in any way), staring into the same crystal ball. Normally it doesn't bother me that I can't see anything. In fact, it's only divination. I'm indifferent. But today isn't normal. Normally it wouldn't matter who did a brummy accent. Normally I wouldn't work with Anna. Normally I would keep my head down in potions, and just get it over with, instead of having a loud row with Kira over taking notes. Normally I'd only have one slice of pizza, and a few vegetables at lunch, instead of half the table's contents of food. But everything was wrong today.  
  
So instead of drifting off to my own little dream world in divination I found myself getting very annoyed at the crystal ball, and it's stupid, boring, smoky interior, and lack of information, and annoyed at Professor Trelawny for generally being so annoying, and depressing, and having this annoying voice, and gliding walk, and glasses and anything that happened to annoy me.  
  
I even got annoyed at the way Kira's too-blue eyes refused to blink, and the way she kept muttering under her breath the way she did when she was concentrating, and the way she could concentrate, and I couldn't!  
  
I hated that lesson so much!  
  
Then Peter saw again. And it was Sirius again.  
  
"Sirius, you're getting married." Peter muttered to his friend.  
  
"What?" Sirius asked sleepily, clearly paying no attention whatsoever.  
  
"You're getting married.. I think it's to the same girl as before."  
  
"But I vowed never to get married." Sirius said, still dozy.  
  
"Tough luck, mate. The fates have decided." Peter said, and then there was silence again.  
  
But it was short lived.  
  
"You mean the fat one?" Sirius asked suddenly.  
  
"Yeah, but she's not fat anymore." Peter replied quietly.  
  
"But... how d' you know it's the same girl?"  
  
"Well, unless she has an identical twin. The things I see aren't clear images, but they're so similar..."  
  
Sirius grunted and fell back into his stupor.  
  
That slightly cheered me up. I could laugh in the face of the girl stupid enough to marry Sirius Black. Hah! I realized that Professor Trelawny was staring at me, and that was because I was staring at Sirius with a smug look on my face. I quickly returned my gaze to the crystal ball.  
  
After the lesson we met up with Lily, and I told her and Kira:  
  
"I laugh in the face of the girl who's going to marry Sirius Black."  
  
"What?" Lily asked vaguely. I explained about Peter's prediction.  
  
Afterwards Kira said, "Why are you laughing in their face, I thought you liked Sirius?"  
  
"WHAT?" I replied calmly and quietly (or not...) "I hate him! He's such a bastard."  
  
"You went out with him for ages though." Kira said.  
  
"Yes! And then he dumped me for some sluttish bimbo. A whole month, and he just discarded me." I replied indignantly.  
  
Kira frowned. "He's not that bad."  
  
"Yes he is." I said simply.  
  
"No." Kira said, "You used to be obsessed with him, and go on and on about him, and it drove us mad, and then you split up, and couldn't get over him for ages, until about a week ago you just shut up about him."  
  
"You never told us he dumped you." Lily said pointedly. I stared at them both stonily. Here they were, abandoning me at my time of need. Ok, they didn't know it was a time of need for me, but they didn't know it wasn't. And they were supposed to be my friends! They were supposed to back me up that Sirius was a bastard, when I clearly hated him so much now.  
  
There was a pause. A kind of long one.  
  
"He's just such a stupid idiot, ok?" I said. Kira looked at me, like I was nothing (bitch).  
  
"Calling him names is-"  
  
"You can't talk, you call people names all the time!" I interrupted. She turned and walked away. "Fine you just be a hypocritical bitch then." I called after her.  
  
"Better than being you!" She called back.  
  
Lily looked from one of us to the other, wondering who to go with. I suppose, because it didn't show any definite siding with Kira, and only some siding with me, she stayed put.  
  
I stared after Kira for a moment. Lily just stood, looking uneasy. She glanced at me.  
  
"I'll go and see if Kira's alright." She muttered, shuffling off.  
  
"Lily, please. Stay." I said.  
  
"What about Kira?" She asked, pausing and turning round.  
  
"Lily, I really need someone at the moment." I refused to look attention seeking and cry. It probably looked like I was seeking attention to Lily, seeing as Kira could need her just as much as me from her point of view. She didn't know I was pregnant. Of course, Kira could have been pregnant for all I knew, but the likelihood was very slim. Lily could obviously see the worry, and sadness on my face.  
  
"Chloe, what's wrong?" She asked, putting an arm round me. I sniffed, and resigned myself to breaking my promise, and telling someone I was pregnant.  
  
*****  
  
Thank you, oh great reviewers:  
  
freakyfroggurl22 - wahey! an old reviewy ready person.  
  
geordie lass 4eva - I posted more soon... (soon for me)  
  
Jo - I like this reviewer a lot. She says useful things. Still a while till Sirius finds out though...  
  
LuNaMoOn - Only HP fic on your favourite stories! YEY!  
  
mairims - I have continued (it annoys me when people write the first chapter and then stop)  
  
jayne - it is, it's superb.  
  
I love all of you, and anyone else reading!!! - Mai 


	4. Sirius, the One Who Makes Grls Cry

Denial  
  
Chapter four - Sirius, the One Who Makes Grls Cry  
  
*****  
  
"Lily?" I asked cautiously.  
  
"Yes?" She replied.  
  
"Can we go somewhere private?"  
  
"If you want. Want to try the dorm?" She asked.  
  
I nodded, thinking that someone would probably already be there, but I couldn't be bothered to think of somewhere else, and it wasn't that far away. Surprisingly, Kira was sitting with Ellissa and Mya in the common room, and the dorm was empty. I lay down on my bed, and Lily sat at the end, facing me.  
  
"The reason I hate Sirius," I began, "is that, when we were going out, we took it... all the way." I said carefully. Lily's eyes widened.  
  
"You mean you had..." I nodded. "Oh, right." Lily said as if she was beginning to understand, which I like to hope she was.  
  
"And then, a week ago, I found out that I'm," I paused, then said in barely a whisper, "pregnant."  
  
Lily gasped slightly, then pulled me into a hug, saying, "We were wondering why you'd got so moody, it all makes sense now."  
  
"Talking about me, behind my back." I muttered half-jokingly, not all that surprised. It didn't matter anyway. You could talk behind someone's back without it being a bad thing, and I'd done it with both Lily and Kira, about the other member of our small group. I couldn't blame for being concerned. Bitching was a different matter, but it wasn't the same.  
  
"You keeping it?" Lily asked after a while. Just as Kira, Ellissa and Mya walked in.  
  
"Yeah, I will if you don't mind." I said, quickly snatching a tissue from Lily's pocket, and dabbing my eyes, making it look like we were talking about the tissue.  
  
*****  
  
Later that night, me and Lily were sitting in the quiet common room, doing homework, when Lily returned the conversation to our earlier one. "So, you are keeping it?" she asked quietly.  
  
I nodded my head, and my left hand moved to my stomach, while my other wrote out my history essay, in for tomorrow.  
  
"Who knows?" She whispered. I indicated my head towards her. "Me. No-one else?" she asked.  
  
"The nurse." I muttered.  
  
"Is that it?" she asked, surprised. I nodded again.  
  
"You should be honoured." I muttered  
  
"Shouldn't you tell your mum? Or Sirius, for God's sake, he's the father." Lily tried to keep her voice low. I shook my head vigorously.  
  
"No-one's going to find out!" I said, warningly.  
  
"What about Kira? She's your friend." Lily insisted. I shrugged. She certainly wasn't acting like my friend at the moment. "You can't expect her to psychically know that you have a reason to be stressy at the moment." Lily reasoned.  
  
"Yeah, but that's not the point," I said, even though it was, "I just don't want anyone to know."  
  
And we continued pretty much in silence.  
  
At half ten Lily went to bed, but I'd only done one piece of parchment on a three piece essay, and still had a lot to do, before first thing the next day. I sat on my own by the fire, there was a couple in the seventh year, cuddled together by the window, and on the other side of the room...  
  
There was that bastard, Sirius, and his friends, James, Remus, and Peter. They'd just finished discussing something, and were packing sheets of parchment away, which I doubted was homework.  
  
I turned back to my table and tried to concentrate on the history of Halloween. It was a very boring subject, but it had to be done.  
  
I kept being distracted by the thought of my child, and it's father sitting across the room.  
  
I was also worried about what Lily had said. I'd have to tell my mother sometime soon, probably when I went home for Christmas. And Kira... I didn't know. And Sirius was the father, but he was such a dick.  
  
I watched as Sirius and his gang went to bed. Watched Sirius's retreating back, and felt a pang of sadness. What happened to what we had? Why did he have to turn into such a dick? Why did he ruin it all?  
  
I felt a longing to be near him and with him again, but I couldn't! I hated him. He was a bastard. He had a girlfriend anyway. He would just reject me. Bastard.  
  
AI still missed him. I couldn't help how I felt, I just felt that way. We'd always had such fun and it'd been so great, and everything and... now it was all gone. I think I had Sirius withdrawal. And then, at the height of my happiness, and even though we'd done it, he'd made me feel so god, and safe, and happy and then... why'd he dump me for a bimbo like Charlotte? Charlotte Green for God's sake? She wasn't that pretty, or that clever, or that gracful, or that popular, or that easy. Bitch. Ok, maybe not a sluttish bimbo then, but now she was always all over him when it wasn't Michelle Brockworth or Holly Woodend. I hate them all, yet I still love him! Why?  
  
Tears. I felt them coming, and bit my lip, trying to stop them. They refused and fell down my cheeks and onto my essay. I rolled it up, and shoved it out of the way.  
  
I continued to cry, but it didn't matter. No-one could see. The only other people in the room were too busy digging into each other's mouths to notice me, sitting there, alone.  
  
Then I heard a noise behind me and glanced up. James Potter was still there, finishing his own homework. He saw me, and a mixture of pity, and worry came on his face. Strange for a friend of Sirius.  
  
"You ok?" He asked. Did I look ok?  
  
I fiercely wiped away my tears, deciding History of Magic could go to hell, and half ran up to the dorm, unwilling to let him see me cry over a bastard like Sirius.  
  
*****  
  
I don't know if I'm pathetic, or full of my own writing, or what, but this kinda made me sad. It could be because I have more insight into what's happening, or didn't go into enough detail, but I know that detail anyway.  
  
I don't know.  
  
However, if you'd care to be kind and review please do so, and thankyou to my reviewers!  
  
I loves ya! - Mai 


	5. Sirius, the King

Denial  
  
Chapter five - Sirius, the King  
  
*****  
  
A week later Kira still hadn't returned to Lily and me, and seemed to be getting too close to Mya and Ellissa. And they seemed to be getting too close to a group of boys I'd nicknamed The Bastard Crew. Kira in particular was getting too close to their leader, and Chief of Womanizing, King Bastard. Or, as she'd call him, Sirius. It had only been a week after she left us, and yet with the addition of the sexy, beautiful, slim, and sporty Kira, they'd become very popular in the school. Maybe the most popular.  
  
And Sirius dumped Michelle.  
  
Normally this would have been regular, and normal, and I wouldn't have taken any notice. This time, however, it was for... Kira.  
  
I warned her, but she took no heed. Her own fault, she'd find out soon enough how it felt when he dumped you.  
  
Stupid bitch.  
  
So she was swanning around, with him draped around her, rather like a scarf, being all happy, and cheerful, little knowing that you receive twice as much pain as happiness eventually. Or just a baby. He just had to leave his mark everywhere he went. In this case everywhere he went IN to.  
  
Bastard.  
  
Queen Bitch, and King Bastard, what a great couple. Both skinny, and good looking, and popular, and just so idealistic. But I'd always said Kira's eyes were too blue. Against Sirius dark brown ones they were very much too blue. For this I had to laugh in her face. Sadly I couldn't be bothered to physically, so I laughed behind her back instead.  
  
Or Sirius's back, seeing as he was constantly with her, letting her sit on his lap, and cuddling her, and all the annoying fluffy cute couple things.  
  
You know those things I wish I had with Sirius myself?  
  
Ok, I hated Sirius! I did not want to go out with him!  
  
Neither did I want to go out with James but he kept looking at me curiously. Not like I was curious, like the way he was looking at me was curious. Kind of with his head on one side and squinting eyes. Very odd.  
  
It was the night before the Christmas holidays. Damned holidays. Normally they were a good thing, but this time...  
  
I'd thought about it. I had to tell my mum. She was either going to find out now, or find out when it was born. I was looking forward to neither, but it had to happen.  
  
Ok, I was petrified. I had no idea where I would find the guts to do it. She would hate me forever! And how was I meant to phrase it?  
  
"Ok, mum, you know you never wanted me to have sex before I was married? Well guess what, I've not only done that, but also broke the legal age limit, and now I'm pregnant, and hate the father! Please welcome me home with open, loving arms!"  
  
Or not. If I said before Christmas it would ruin it, but if I said after it would seem like I was keeping secrets from my mum, who wouldn't like that. I couldn't say the moment I met her -   
  
"Hey mum! Great to see you. You know, since I last saw you I've become pregnant. Isn't it fantastic?"  
  
And then she'd just blow up on the station, in front of everybody, and it wouldn't be pleasant. What was I going to do...?  
  
Later that night it was me and James alone in the common room again. What was it with Tuesdays? Both doing homework again (History...).  
  
Anyway, he kept looking at me, then glancing away, pretending he wasn't, but he badly was. Eventually I stared back at him and asked:  
  
"What?"  
  
He stared again! Then suddenly he found his voice. "You're not over Sirius, are you?"  
  
"What?" What kind of question was that. I was so over Sirius! He was a bastard!  
  
"What?" James asked defensively. "You're not! You keep staring at him and Kira jealously. I thought you and Kira were friends."  
  
I hmphd, as you do, and turned away.  
  
"Well sorry, I was just curious." He said.  
  
"And acting as a spy for Sirius, telling him all the information later, so you can laugh at me, and I am so over him." I responded, indignantly.  
  
"No, I wasn't acting a spy!"  
  
"You would tell him anyway. He's your friend, and I'm not." James looked over to the window.  
  
"Yeah, but there's something wrong with you." He said.  
  
"There's nothing wrong with me! I'm fine." I cried. "Stuff History of Magic." I muttered, returning to my dormitory.  
  
*****  
  
Short and slow, I know. Shut up. I get slower at updating as I go along. Live with it. (it may urn into months, but it shouldn't last to 37 chapters). Yeah, my plan is 17chapters in case you wanna know.  
  
Thanks to my reviewers, Jo, KeeperOfTheMoon, Sam, freakyfroggurl22!  
Until next time, love y'all! - Mai 


	6. Sirius, the one who I SAID was a Bastard...

Denial  
  
Chapter six - Sirius, the one who I SAID was a Bastard, but you didn't believe me  
  
*****  
  
The train ride home was long, slow, and boring. Ok, the first hour whooshed by, faster than the train itself, but after that, as stated above, it was long, slow and boring. Ok, and it wasn't so bad when the trolley came along, and I got lots of chocolate but other than that it was long, slow and boring.  
  
Ok, then there was that point when Kira invaded our compartment, about half way through. That bit was just distressing, and awkward. Well, it was to begin with. But then it came out that...  
  
I said it would happen eventually!  
  
Kira was passing by outside our compartment, while Lily and I where lying on our seats in a kind of dazed stupor. We sat up and noticed immediately, as she glanced in and looked away frustrated.  
  
I was in one of my moodier, sulkier, uncaringier (it's a word) moods, so I shouted through the door, "Come in and face us like a man, why don't you!". I was fully aware that Kira was not a man, but I was sure she could still face us like one. If Sirius hadn't turned her utterly soft.  
  
She paused, then barged in. She had a hurt look on her face, and her eyes where red. I could see tears well up in her eyes, and, though she tried to restrain it, a sob escaped.  
  
She looked from one of us to the other, and then turned red, and began to cry.  
  
"I just wanted to let you know, you where right, Sirius is a bastard!"  
  
Much as I didn't want Kira to know my secret, I still had to fight the urge to say 'He didn't make you pregnant as well, did he?'. It was very tempting, but I couldn't just give in like that. No-one was meant to find out.  
  
Lily being the in-betweeny, nice, loving, and caring person that she is said, in an in-betweeny, nice, loving, and caring voice, "Oh, what happened?" And stood up to hug Kira.  
  
Traitor.  
  
Bitch.  
  
And then Kira said, "He said he loved me," I hmphed, as you do, and Lily glared at me, so I shut up, and Kira carried on. It's true though. He tells every girl he dates that he loves them. "And then, just now, he dumped me!" I couldn't help but roll my eyes. Neither Lily, nor Kira could see anyway, and I'm entitled to my own opinion.  
  
"I did warn you he was a bastard." I said, stubbornly staying in my seat. Kira only sniffed. Bet she only wished she'd listened to me! Then Lily glared at me again, so I shut up again.  
  
"What's worse is he dumped me for Mya." Kira said quietly. That was a first. Sirius had never dumped anyone for Mya before. Or even dumped Mya. Or even been out with Mya. This was definitely a first!  
  
"Don't worry, you can be friends with us again, if you want." Lily said calmly. It was my turn to glare at Lily. She was letting this bitch, who betrayed us for the King of all realms of Bastard to be friends with us again! Was she utterly, clinically, insane? Well, clearly!  
  
But all she did was glare right back! She didn't even shut up, as I did so willingly on two occasions prior to this. It was just rude.  
  
Very much rude.  
  
Kira nodded her head, and said in a pathetic, weedy voice, "Please." And then Lily, the traitor's number two, took her to the toilet to clean herself up , and brought her back, with her arm around her all the way.  
  
I wanted to hate them both. But if I did, I would be left a sad loner. I did NOT want that.  
  
So instead I sulked in the corner, convincing myself that I would never tell Kira I was pregnant, until it became blatantly obvious, or the baby was born.  
  
Then Kira, the pleasant, nice, kind person, asked what had been going on since she rudely (except she didn't say that) left us to rot (she didn't say that either). In fact what she actually said was "What's been going on, since I've been away?"  
  
Been away my arse.  
  
Then Lily, the ruiner of all things, gave me a cold hard stare. Maybe it wasn't so cold, but it was definitely hard. And It was obvious what she was doing. Trying to make me tell Kira about my darling, little, defenseless child!  
  
So I stared back in a way which clearly stated that I would never tell her (I checked in the mirror later). Lily gave me another look which said 'You should.'  
  
I simply continued to stare at her with my refusing face plastered firmly to my head.  
  
Lily shrugged. Kira was looking at us like she new there was something we weren't telling her. It was pretty obvious wasn't it? So I rolled my eyes. Trust Lily.  
  
"What?" Kira asked.  
  
"Doesn't matter." I said, lying down again.  
  
"But I want to know." Kira said. "Please?"  
  
"Your own fault to leaving us in a ditch to rot." I said sleepily.  
  
"Chloe!" Lily said. "Sirius just dumped her! Have you no sympathy?"  
  
"No," I replied, "I told her he was a bastard, but she refused to believe me. Her problem." I closed my eyes, and attempted to fall asleep. Lily the traitorous bitch number two, however, wouldn't let me.  
  
"Everyone makes mistakes." She said.  
  
I sat up and stared at her for a long time. Then I snapped. "I am WELL aware that everyone makes mistakes, you should KNOW that!". I lay down, and tried to sleep again, and she didn't disturb me. I told her good!  
  
*****  
  
I kind of switched my plans for chapter 6 and 7 aroun dbut there you go. Sirius wasn't going to dump till after christmas. Oh well, hope it's longer than the last one (that was really short).  
  
Thanks to my kind reviewers!  
  
freakyfroggurl22 - I hope this was quite a quick update. I'm already getting slower. But I have it all planned out, and this chapter was quite easy to write in comparrison with some I've written.  
  
bertiebottsgeorge - Basically every time I said a name this chapter I put some random title before it. THANKS for putting me on your faves! (and anyone else who did)  
  
Sam - the mushiness will come in time. Wait... (chapter 16) ... or maybe 15! But thanks for reviewing. She'll start liking him (kind of) by 11. But I do short, quickly(ish) updated chapters, please keep reading!  
  
Jo - Thanks so much!  
  
Geordie lass 4eva - I will keep posting.  
  
Child of the Wolves - Thanks!  
  
- Mai :) 


	7. Seewus, the Utterly Absent

Denial  
  
Chapter seven - Seewus, the Utterly Absent  
  
*****  
  
Damn it! I was hoping I would have been bored to death, or died in my sleep before this moment. The moment I had to meet my mum again. The moment I had to tell her I was pregnant.  
  
Ok, I wasn't telling her RIGHT THIS MOMENT, but I was anticipating it with dread, and that's bad enough.  
  
I tugged my trunk off the train, and wandered along the platform.  
  
After going all the way down, and back up again, still pulling my trunk I still hadn't found her. Then I saw her, and realised she'd been at the end I started at the whole time.  
  
I walked up to her, pretending I hadn't done such a foolish thing as I actually just had.  
  
We hugged and she said "Hello darling!"  
  
Naturally, I said "Hi." back. Then she asked if I'd said goodbye to my friends.  
  
Friends...?  
  
I shrugged and said "Yeah." (In fact our dialogue was most interesting and intriguing).  
  
Then she said (even more thrillingly than before): "Ok, let's take your stuff to the car then." And picked up my case, and dragged it to the car, put it in the boot, and off we zoomed home, her chatting away, and asking me questions about how my term had been, and me pretending to reply, while actually being petrified of what I was going to tell her.  
  
When we got home my 13-year-old brother, Jamie, was out playing football [soccer] with his friends, and not even there to welcome me home (typical). My other little brother, Toby, who's 7, was though. He welcomed me with welcoming arms! (Jamie would never do that)  
  
I'd come home just in time to put the Christmas decorations up. I didn't help with much Christmas cheer however. This was probably going to turn out the worst Christmas of my life.  
  
*****  
  
I was never very good at having private conversations with my mum. We could gossip casually about stuff, like sex, and so on, but when it came to telling her my period had started, I'd just let her do the washing, rather than go through the trouble of telling her, when I got my first boyfriend, I just let her take a week to figure it out for herself (it was during the summer holidays), and now I didn't have a clue how to approach her to tell her I was... pregnant.  
  
The really annoying thing was that Jamie had no trouble at all in asking her for a private conversation, but I'd never done it, and I'd been away for almost four months, so it wasn't going to be that easy.  
  
It was a good thing my dad left us, and I didn't have to tell two parents.  
  
I didn't want to do it till after Christmas, but when, on December 23rd, I woke up at 7 o'clock (far too early) and went downstairs to see mum, on her own, watching TV, it was the perfect opportunity to tell her. You can never catch mum on her own, she always with someone, or talking to someone, or doing something you can't disturb.  
  
I went into the front room and sat on the sofa next to her.  
  
"Good morning." She said lightly.  
  
"Hi," I replied, meekly. Then I said (drum roll) "Um, mum,"  
  
"Hmm?" She replied, keeping her eyes on... Rainbow? Ok, so my mum has taken to watching kids TV shows. Fine. I cautiously crossed the room and turned the TV off.  
  
Once I'd done that, I didn't feel in a position to turn back, and stop telling her what I was about to. Still I was looking for anyway out of it, or of making it easier.  
  
Her eyes turned to rest on me. I looked at my knees.  
  
"Mum, I'm pregnant." That pretty much summed it up.  
  
I looked up through my hair to see her reaction.  
  
Disappointed. Very disappointed.  
  
Was I surprised? No.  
  
"Chloe." She said, kind of uselessly. But it made me want to cry. I said nothing. There was nothing to say. "So, you're seriously pregnant?" She asked. I nodded glumly (then I thought of the word glumly, and almost smiled, but that quickly faded).  
Mum also seemed at a loss for words. Eventually she said "How long for?"  
  
"'Bout two months," I replied quietly.  
  
"You know who the father is?"  
  
I nodded.  
  
"Does he know?"  
  
I shook my head, at first quickly, but then I realised my mum would think that I should have told him, and it might imply he would be a terrible man to be a father, so I slowed down.  
  
"You going to tell him?"  
  
I shrugged. I really didn't know. I really didn't want to, but...  
  
Mum still looked very disappointed. There was another silence before she asked, "Who else knows?" I hate that question.  
  
"Lily, you, school nurse, maybe Kira, depends if Lily said anything." I replied.  
  
"Not - what's-he-called, your head master?"  
  
I shook my head, then shrugged. "I don't think so."  
  
"He ought to know." My mum said.  
  
"What so Dumbledore knows, but not S- the father?" I said, defensively.  
  
"S-?" Mum asked, wondering who exactly 'S-' was.  
  
"Sirius." I said.  
  
"You get on with him?" Mum asked.  
  
I shrugged. Maybe I did, maybe I didn't. I'm not really sure. I hadn't really talked to him since we'd split up.  
  
At that moment my lovely brother came in, in his amusing Bagpuss pyjamas (It was Toby, obviously, Jamie wouldn't go near anything Bagpuss related).  
  
"Mummy, what's for breakfast?" He asked in a whiny voice. I was annoyed and amused at the same time. At least I got a break from mum for a while.  
  
*****  
  
As predicted it was the worst Christmas ever. As far as I knew, mum didn't say anything to my brothers, until after Christmas day.  
  
For Christmas day we had my aunt, uncle, and two cousins, Theo and Louisa over. Louisa's just older than me, and Theo's the same age as Jamie.  
  
My child will probably never have cousins anywhere near it's age.  
  
We all opened Christmas presents together. I got some books and records from mum, and a new jacket. It was black, with a gray, fake fur edge. I also got some bubble bath, and bath salts from Louisa, and a bar of chocolate from Theo (Boys. Pathetic.) Toby gave me a bagpuss key ring (I pretend to like Bagpuss), and Jamie got me a box of quality street (See what I mean about boys?). Uncle Richard, and Aunt Angela gave me some money. Muggle money though. Pretty useless to me.  
  
I got them mostly Honeydukes things, which I suppose is as pathetic as Theo and Jamie, only anyone new to Honeydukes chocolate is thrilled by it. But I got Jamie and Theo Zonkos stuff anyway. They appreciated them. Though I could swear that biting teacups come under the rule that no muggle items are to be enchanted ... but don't broomsticks? Oh well, what do I care.  
  
Anyway, the jacket was too small, the books where quite good, but I couldn't play muggle records. Louisa's presents never fail to be good. The chocolate was alright, but nothing compared to Honeydukes, and the Bagpuss key ring...  
  
At lunch the turkey got burned, and however much anyone tried, I couldn't be coaxed to show any Christmas cheer, or pretend to find the crap jokes in Christmas Crackers amusing, and mum was edgy and worried the whole time.  
  
It sucked utterly.  
  
And nothing much happened for the rest of the day, and I went to bed at 8:30, and utimately it all sucked, and I was glad when it was over.  
  
And to think at the end of last Christmas I couldn't wait for another year to go by.  
  
The next morning Richard, Angela, Theo, and Louisa went home, and everyone seemed pretty depressed. Then at 6:00, after we'd finished our tea, mum made us all stay at the table.  
  
She bloody well told my brothers I was pregnant! Id' never said she could! She can join the ranks of Bitchville.  
  
When she told them Jamie just looked at his lap, and neither said nor did nothing. Toby, however, said, "Pregnant!? But she can't be pregnant till she's married!"  
  
So naive.  
  
"Actually, yes she can dear," My mother said soothingly, "She's just not meant to."  
  
"She broke the law?" My brother said, in an awestruck voice.  
  
"Not exactly." My mother said gravely.  
  
"Of course it was all Sirius's fault." I commented sarcastically.  
  
"Who's Seewus?" My brother whined, annoyingly.  
  
"He's the dad." I said, through gritted teeth.  
  
Toby gasped. "You getting married to Seewus?"  
  
I wanted to kill Toby sometimes. "Si-ri-us. And no. I'm not getting married to him." And with that I stormed off.  
  
*****  
  
A/N: RESPECT to the bagpuss.  
  
I think that was a long chapter. I was going to divide it into two, but that would mean more waiting and longer to Sirius mushiness.  
  
No-one on my favourites list's updated in two days! I'm annoyed. But I've updated. So everythings ALRIGHT!  
  
Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this, pleasey review!  
  
- Mai (Gone....) ;) 


	8. Sirius, the Ignorant

Denial  
  
Chapter eight - Sirius, the Ignorant  
  
*****  
  
It was the day before I was going back to Hogwarts. After I'd packed all my stuff, and Toby and Jamie had gone to bed my mother sat me down for a 'quiet chat'. Guess what about.  
  
Bet you can't guess what about.  
  
"When's the baby due?" She asked me. I think she was trying to be kind, but she sounded evil.  
  
I shrugged. I'd figured it out, but I'd forgotten. After a moment I said, "End of June,"  
  
"Right," My mother said, thoughtfully (not thinking of me of course, just thinking of what to do.) "You're keeping it?" She verified.  
  
"Yes." Bloody hell.  
  
"Nobody knows except you, me ... Lily?" I nodded, "And the nurse."  
  
"Yeah." How many times?  
  
"Right, well we'll have to tell Dumbledore." I looked at her pleadingly, "He's got to know." She said, "You're going to be missing quite a lot of school this summer."  
  
I suddenly had a thought. My OWLs! They were in late June. What was I going to do?  
  
I refrained from telling this to my mum. She picked it up anyway. Bloody mind reader.  
  
"What about your summer exams? O levels?"  
  
"Mum, we don't do O levels, we do OWLs." I explained.  
  
"But when do you do them?" I sighed. Deeply. A 'dammit' sort of sigh.  
  
"June." I mumbled.  
  
"Oh bugger." I looked up. My mum did not swear. She was staring at the carpet agressively (if it's possible to stare agressively).  
  
Another thought occurred to me (two thoughts in five minutes. This pregnancy thing was seriously affecting me), If I didn't do my OWLs this year, I'd have to do them next year. I'd have to stay down a year. I'd have to work with fourth years. I hate fourth years!  
  
Oh bugger indeedey.  
  
"Well, we'll have to make arangements." My mother carried on. Ach nein. The whole school would find out. I can hear it now (insert several weedy bimbo voices here):  
  
(First bimbo) 'Oh, have you seen Chloe? I haven't seen her round recently.'  
  
(Second) 'No, she's just disappeared. Is she sick?'  
  
(Third) 'I heard she's pregnant!'  
  
(Second) 'No way! Wait, who ...(long pause for information processing in the mind of a dumb blonde)... Sirius! They would never.'  
  
(First) 'I thought she looked fatter than usual.'  
  
(Second) 'And she kept getting sick didn't she?'  
  
(Third) 'It's kind of hard to believe she was pregnant though. I didn't think she'd be the type. I thought it would have been you, Vanessa.  
  
(Second) 'Hey! I'm not a bimbo!'  
  
(Third) 'Yeah right.'  
  
(Second) 'You are too... (so commences a large bitch fight about who's a bimbo.)  
  
So my life is over. Thank you Sirius. I could get an abortion... but we always swore we didn't believe in them. (Me, Lily, and Kira).  
  
To abort, or not to abort, that is the question.  
  
After a minute of silence mum said "Right, that's it, you're getting an abortion."  
  
"No way!" I said. Apparently the answer was 'Not to abort', though I don't remember deciding that.  
  
"You can't look after a baby on your own!" My own mother, deserting me, in my time of need.  
  
"You're not going to help me at all?" I asked.  
  
"Why should I?" She replied. Why does she think!  
  
"You're my mother! You're supposed to watch out for me, and care for me, and look out for me! You can't just desert me when I need you most!" I said.  
  
"You're pregnant!" She burst out, standing up.  
  
I stared up at her, "Yes, I am aware of that fact. You may remember that, actually, it was me who told you." I tried to contain my anger. Think I failed.  
  
Mum sat down again, and started crying. I didn't feel in a position to comfort her. She would probably just push me away (as she was already doing).  
  
Eventually she said "We have to set off early tomorrow. I suggest you go to bed." And I did so.  
  
*****  
  
The next morning I woke bright and early, ate a silent breakfast, and on the way to school my mother and I said nothing to each other. I talked in grunts till 10:50 when we got to the station, and I met my friends, and my voice was croaky when I greeted them.  
  
"Hey Lily. Hey Kira." I hugged them both. The welcomed me very welcomingly. Typical. Something goes wrong and immediately we forget about it. After two whole weeks I doubt Lily and Kira even remember we weren't all talking to each other.  
  
I'm sure those memories were rekindled, however, when Sirius walked along the platform hand in hand with Holly.  
  
Even more typical. Why is the world so typical? Typical sucks! It means we can't do anything new, or change at all, because everyone else is just so typical!  
  
Ugh. Typical. My worst enemy. Well, actually I had several worst enemies:  
  
Michelle, Holly, a sixth year bitch called Kayla who was up her own arse, and most of all, Charlotte Green. Fifth year Ravenclaw. The bitch Sirius dumped me for.  
  
Bitch.  
  
Not great that our first lesson of this term was transfiguration with Ravenclaw. Then potions. Oh a hellish day for all.  
  
But that was tomorrow. Still several blissful hours till then.  
  
Or maybe not so blissful.  
  
We got on the train, as you do, found a compartment, as you do, sat down, as you do, and talked, casually, about our fabulous (or not so) holidays. I really wanted to tell Lily that I'd told my mum, and she'd rejected me (kind of), but Kira was in the compartment, so I couldn't. Other than that it all went swimmingly   
  
That was until Sirius showed up. With his friends of course. It was an entrance planned just to annoy.  
  
"Hello la... ugh! I mean ugly hags!" Sirius replied, his jovial attitude turning to disgust, when he 'saw' (of course he already knew) who we were.  
  
"Fuck off Sirius." I replied calmly.  
  
"What like last time?" He said smirking. I sighed.  
  
"No, slightly different from last time. Maybe we could just skip the fuck." I reasoned.  
  
"You couldn't resist me, Sirius Black, ultimate lover of all time." He told me.  
  
"Actually, yes I could. Just go away Sirius, back to your sock, I'm sure she's more willing in bed than I am. I mean last time... just ruled off for me." I replied, mock apologetically.  
  
"Ok, to be able to resist me, would mean that something major happened as a result of last time. Maybe you're pregnant?" Sirius suggested, jokingly. I couldn't help but smile at how little he knew. "I hope I haven't put you off sex for life?" He continued.  
  
I decided to avoid the awkward questions he'd just asked by telling him to go away again.  
  
"Fine." He replied loftily, "But you're gonna come back begging for more, you'll see." And with that he left, and slammed the door.   
  
As he and his friends walked away I heard James say, "You never told me you fucked Chloe." I could just see Sirius's smirk now.  
  
Kira was staring at me. I stared back.  
  
"Yes, we did have sex, and yes, I am pregnant, and yes, that is exactly why Sirius is a bastard." I told her.  
  
*****  
  
I hope it's long enough. I haven't updated in a while. Sorry.  
  
Anyway, hope you enjoyed it. Please review!!!  
  
Luvz you - Mai 


	9. Sirius, the Father, Damn Him

Denial  
  
Chapter nine - Sirius, the Father, Damn Him  
  
*****  
  
Back at my favourite place of all time: Hogwarts! Or not so favourite. Actually my favourite place of all time is bed. Asleep. Mmmmmm sleeeeeep. Sadly impossible as I was in a transfiguration lesson, staring hatefully at Charlottes's back, while she flirted with Sirius in the row in front of us. I was sitting at the back, at the end by the door, so I could make a quick exit to avoid enemy of the Chloe number one: Charlotte Green.  
  
I may have to kill her. And Sirius.  
  
That should be amusing.  
  
Kira kept glancing at me, and staring at my stomach. Lily has managed to not do that once, but Kira, oh no! Must keep irritating Chloe because of her slowly enlarging belly. Always my favourite hobby.  
  
Mum had written an letter to Dumbledore, and I had to go and see him this lunchtime, at 1:30, after potions. It's just one great thing after another isn't it. Transfiguration with Ravenclaw, Potions, in the dungeons, with Slytherin, a meeting with Dumbledore to discuss the secret no-one was meant to know about, then... some other crap lesson no doubt. Most are.  
  
As soon as the bell went I legged it out of the room, and round the corner. Lily and Kira came hurrying after me.  
  
"Why'd you run?" Lily asked.  
  
"Charlotte." I panted. "Couldn't stand any more of her ugly face."  
  
Then the Bastard Crew came sauntering out the classroom.  
  
"Chloe, what's so scary about a Transfiguration classroom?" James asked.  
  
"None of your business." I imitated his tone - expertly, if I do say so myself.  
  
"I think it is." He said in the same tone.  
  
"Um, no it's not. I'm going now I need my books for potions." I replied, and took my friends hands and pulled them after me to the dormitory, with Bastard Crew a few meters behind having an interesting conversation in which Sirius was trying to explain the concept of paint-balling.  
  
We got to potions, sat down, had a very interesting lesson, and all in all I did nothing except watch the clock until the bell went at one.  
  
Then we went to lunch. Now most people, when scared, don't eat. But I, as usual, stuffed my face. Possibly the dining table is my second favourite place of all time. Especially when supporting food. Tasty food.  
  
It was Wednesday, which meant fried potatoes, peas, sweetcorn, and chicken, and homemade tomato sauce. Very delicious, and I had one and a half helpings. By the time I'd finished it had reached 1:25. I stood up, said goodbye to my darling friends, then made my way to where I was pretty sure Dumbledore's office was.  
  
I'd been there once before, in third year, because Professor McGonagal said my hair was outrageous (pink and purple streaks), and I was pretty sure I could remember where it was, but when I got the that disgusting gargoyle I realised I didn't know the password. I stood calmly before it, thinking about what I should do, and was just about to panic, when it sprung aside of its own accord, and out stepped my dear headmaster, Professor Dumbledore.  
  
"Come along Chloe. Into my office. We have matters to discuss." He said, and he gently pushed me onto his moving staircase. We slowly spiraled around until we reached the doors at the top. Then he pushed one open, and led me inside.  
  
"Sit down." He said, closing the door. I didn't. I don't like sitting down when being 'talked to' by a teacher. It gives you more commitment to stay and less chance to run away. I didn't intend to run away, that would be foolish, but I needed to keep my options open.  
  
He walked over, and sat behind his desk.  
  
"Sit." He encouraged, with a warm smile. Cautiously I sat.  
  
"Now, I understand that you are pregnant." He said, steepling his hands. Suddenly, and randomly I thought how funny it would be to tell someone that you were pregnant by saying 'I'm preggers.' In a broad nothern accent, but prevented myself from smiling, and nodded. "This could pose some difficulties." He continued, with the air of a passing spectator (which I sincerely hoped he was) "But I'm sure we can overcome a lot of them."  
  
What about my exams.  
  
"The most prominent is you will be missing a lot of time off school." Wahoo. "As I understand it, this time is likely to be during your exams." Double wahoo. Wait. No. Baaad. "And I think I've come up with a solution to this problem." He said. I started begging the God that may be there that it wasn't doing an extra year. My wish was granted. Oh thank the good lord. "Obviously keeping you back a year when you're a perfectly intelligent girl would not be wise, so I'm proposing that you do your exams early. You'd need extra lessons," Damn. "And I'd need your permission to perform a temporary spell, preventing you from revealing anything about the tests, but when you returned everything would be as normal." Extra lessons! Oof. But better a few lunchtimes than a whole year with the people I hated.  
  
I nodded.  
  
"Arangements will be made nearer the date. You need not start your lessons until we are nearer the time of the exams."  
  
I nodded again. Good.  
  
"Then there's the problem of how to tell people." I looked up at him, stricken. "Or what to tell people." He amended. I was thinking 'That I'm not pregnant, never have been, never will be, fuck off.', but clearly, he wasn't. "I do not enjoy lying to my pupils, but it's up to you. Of course it is your business, and nobody else's, except the father," Damn him. "And I shall not tell a soul if you don't ant me to. I shook my head. "So no one's to know?" He verified.  
  
"No-one." I replied.  
  
"Not even Sirius Black?"  
  
I didn't want to answer that.  
  
"I believe that it is Sirius's right to know, but it's your choice."  
  
"No-one." I repeated.  
  
"Very well." He said, "Now how will we explain this sudden absence from school.  
  
"I'm ill, in hospital." I suggested.  
  
"I suppose that would not be a complete lie." Dumbledore observed. "That's sorted then. You may leave to enjoy the remainder of your lunchtime. I will talk to you at a later date."  
  
And that was it. I left.  
  
*****  
  
The next morning I was sick. That's to put it bluntly. I woke up, felt something in my throat, stood, up, and retched as I ran to the bathroom, then puked all over the nearest toilet cubicle. Joy of joys.  
  
Lily, who always wakes up before me, came rushing after me to see if I was alright. I paid back her concern by puking on her pyjamas. I'm sure she was grateful.  
  
After a long shower I came out to see four girls staring at me.  
  
"You sure you're alright?" Mya asked.  
  
"I'm fine." I replied, going over to my bed to find clothes.  
  
"I don't think you should go to lessons." Ellissa said.  
  
"No really. I'm fine." I said. Lily looked at me, glanced at my stomach, then looked back up. I knew what she was saying, and I'd already worked it out. Kira simply shrugged.  
  
"She'll be fine, and if she's not we'll take her to the nurse." Lily told them. Super-Lily to the rescue!  
  
I dressed, got my books, and as we went down stairs Lily put her arm around me.  
  
"You're fine, right?" She asked.  
  
"Absolutely." I replied, though I still felt a bit sick. Apparently I still looked it as well.  
  
As we sat down, Sirius asked, "What's up with you?"  
  
"She's been sick." Lily replied quietly.  
  
"Ooh, looks like your prediction of pregnancy was the correct one." James teased Sirius.  
  
"And you gotta remember the fat girl in my prediction." Peter added.  
  
"That wasn't a real prediction." Sirius said scornfully.  
  
"Yes it was!" Peter defended.  
  
"No, it wasn't it was just a joke. You faking to suck up to Trelawny." Sirius said.  
  
"It was real. I saw it in the crystal ball."  
  
"Yeah, right." Sirius said dismissively.  
  
"No, Peter's telling the truth." Remus said in a calming tone, but winking at Sirius at the same time. Cruel people.  
  
Then the Bastard Crew ignored us for the rest of breakfast.  
  
*****  
  
Sorry. Slow again. I'm going to write the next chapter now so it's ready. I have dogz 5. Classy game. And one dog had a litter of four boys. *Cough*Sirius, Remus, James, and Peter*cough*.  
  
Anyway. Hope you enjoyed the chapter. Please review. Thanks for the meny reviews on the last chapter to:  
  
Child of the Wolves,  
freakyfroggurl22,  
bertiebottsgeorge,  
Annoriel,  
Sam,  
prongs,   
Aimee,   
KeeperOfTheMoon  
  
Lovya, keep writing and reviewing - Mai 


	10. Sirius, the Friend of James

Denial  
  
Chapter ten - Sirius, the Friend of James  
  
*****  
The next morning was the same. And the next morning. And the one after that. And on, and on, and on, and on, and it was very tedious, and quite disgusting. Lily set her alarm slightly early so she'd be awake when I woke, and could comfort me in my sickness. It was gross. Kira always helped clear up.  
  
Mya and Ellissa were quite suspicious, and worried about me being ill (probably because they didn't want it themselves. They where too slow to figure anything out), so Lily told them that we'd been to the nurse, and she'd said it would pass soon enough. It didn't seem to be passing though.  
  
Further to that Lily was starting to get annoyed with my - and now Kira's - constant insults of the Bastard Crew. She wouldn't join in, and would even defend them on occasion, and laughed at their jokes from the other side of the room. It was all very weird.  
  
I was worried that she was trying to persuade me to like them so I would tell Sirius. But one weekend, three weeks into the term it all came out.  
  
It was a Hogsmead weekend, and we strolled jovially into the Three Broomsticks to do bugger all for the day, considering we where all skint from Christmas. Lily and Kira forbid me from having a butter beer (why for God's sake? It's less that 1% alcohol), so I had and *orange juice* instead. I do love my oranges (and my sarcasm).  
  
So anyway, all was jolly and bright, and then I went back with two slightly tipsy friends, and we went into the common room, but then decided it was too noisy, so went to out dorm for interesting in-depth discussions, about fancying people, and the fine line between love and hate, and details, and whatnot.  
  
It began with "Are you sure you don't like Sirius, Chloe?" (to which I replied, 'he's fit, but a bastard.') and moved through Kira (who denied any liking at all) to Lily. Ok, I asked her if she liked Sirius. She denied it very forcefully, but was still smiling.  
  
"You do, don't you?" Kira pressed her.  
  
"No I actually don't!" Lily said, her smile disappearing temporarily.  
  
"Remus?" I asked, naming the second fittest in the Crew. None of them, except Sirius, were that good looking, but still.  
  
"Nope." Lily said.  
  
"Peter!" Kira exclaimed, shocked.  
  
"Nooo!" Lily replied, a frown coming to her face.  
  
"You sure it's not Sirius?" I asked suspiciously.  
  
"No. Come on, there's one you haven't tried yet."  
  
"James?" I asked. Lily lowered her head guiltily, but was still smiling.  
  
"James!" Kira said.  
  
"Shh!" Lily said quickly. "Don't tell anyone."  
  
"Not even our dear friends, Mya and Ellissa?" I asked mock-dejectedly. Lily looked at me witheringly.  
  
"Yes, you can tell them, and they can tell the world, perfect." She said.  
  
"You fancy James. You fancy James." Kira sang.  
  
"And there's no need to shout it out." Lily said, glaring at Kira with her piercing green eyes.  
  
"Oh yes there is." Kira sprang up and ran to the door. Lily ran after her, and I walked behind them.  
  
When Kira got the common room she shouted "Lily Evans fancies-", then was cut off by Lily attacking her from behind and shouting:  
  
"No-one! Go back to your masturbating underneath your homework." I caught a couple of guilty glances at this remark.  
  
Then we all returned upstairs.  
  
Once there Lily decided to change the subject.  
  
"So, how was Sirius is bed. I want details." She said, settling herself back on her bed.  
  
I sat down next to her. "I thought you fancied James." She gave me a look so I continued, "Well, you remember we went out for a month,"  
  
"Yes, it was sickening." Lily replied, as Kira plonked herself down on Lily's other side.  
  
"Yeah, well, at the end of the month was a Hogsmead weekend. We went in together on a date, and you lot went separately. After desert, we were a bit stuck for what to do. I suggested shopping, but Sirius, surprisingly, didn't want to, so he suggested we go back to the castle, we went in his dorm, and it just went from there really."  
  
"So *that's* why you came back so late." Kira said. "And why you appeared half way through tea."  
  
"Oh yeah, we did do that didn't we." I said.  
  
"Yep." Lily verified.  
  
"Ok."  
  
"Yeah, I don't call that details." Lily said pointedly.  
  
"Oo, horny now are we?" I teased.  
  
"Wouldn't you like to know?" She replied, raising her eyebrows suggestively, and fingering her shirt buttons.  
  
"Calm down Lily." I told her. "Ok, caught in a wave of passion, and the heat of the moment, we found ourselves snogging our hearts out, and ripping each other's clothes off frantically. We fell over onto the bed, and made passionate love till dawn." I said.  
  
"You've seen too many films." Kira said shaking her head.  
  
"I know." I replied. "but you'll have to accept that as the truth."  
  
"It's not the truth, you only fucked till tea time." Lily told me.  
  
"Ah. You've clearly got the dates mixed up. We appeared at tea the next day. We made passionate love till dawn, and then lay sipping champagne till six, then came for tea." I informed her.  
  
"Sure. Wouldn't the rest of the Bastard Crew have noticed?" Kira asked.  
  
I shook my head. "Too preoccupied with their own socks."  
  
"Oh right, that explains it." Kira replied, now understanding the whole 'truth'. "Do you want your night of passion with James to be like that?" Kira asked Lily.  
  
"What night of passion with James?" Lily asked, surprised.  
  
"The one you're so clearly going to have." Kira replied.  
  
"Oh THAT one. Oh yeah, can't wait." Lily said.  
  
"For what?" Mya said, sauntering into the room, with Ellissa on her heels.  
  
"For you to piss off." Lily replied cooly.  
  
"Tough luck, we're having showers before tea." Ellissa said as they walked into the bathroom.  
  
"Fine." I muttered, getting up, and leading my friends downstairs.  
  
*****  
  
Time continued to go on, rather surprisingly, and Lily continued to obsess over James, and I continued to be sick every morning, and Sirius continued to be a Bastard. My stomach continued to swell, my robes continued to get baggier, and I got more and more worried about what the hell I was going to do with a baby, and I would take care of it.  
  
How could I do my school work, and look after a baby? I didn't know. Did Dumbledore have some sort of brilliant scheme? I didn't know. How would I cope till seventh year? I really didn't have a clue.  
  
What would happen when Sirius found out? He was going to find out. Inevitably everyone was. How would they react? How would he react?  
  
I could just picture him rejecting me, disowning the baby, having a massive grudge against me for the rest of our lives, hating me forever! I couldn't stand that. He couldn't do that to my child.  
  
Maybe he wasn't as bad I was making him out to be though. Maybe I was just doing what I was dreading him doing. Maybe it was all just a defense mechanism.  
  
There were other things as well. Was it a girl or a boy? What should I call it? Feed it? Where would I get money to clothe it?  
  
God I was in deep shit.  
  
I relayed my problems to Lily and Kira. Lily looked worried for the most part, but on hearing the part about my panic about names and clothes she went mental. Absolutely hyper. She started patting her hand on her knees rapidly. I was afraid she was having a spaz attack.  
  
"I wanna help you chose names and clothes! I know some cool names! And we can make your baby the height of fashion! Oo fun! fun! fun!" She cried.  
  
"Calm down Lily. For all we know Sirius could be outside the dorm door right at this moment." I told her. We'd been hanging in the dorm a lot more than usual recently.  
  
"But names! Think of some cool names." She told us.  
  
"Nooo." I moaned. The name was least of my worries at the moment.  
  
"Please?" Lily begged.  
  
"No." I told her.  
  
*****  
  
Woo! Another one! The next day! Haven't done that in a while, but there you go. I doubt I'll do it again. Actually I might, seeing as it's the holidays. I'VE GOT A (slight) TAN! I got no tan last year, and it's only april. Yey! I love the weather at the moment. All sunny. And it's hottest in Britain where I live. Class or what. Anyway, I'll stop talking about my tan now.  
  
Ok. Thanks to my 6 reviewers who read last chapter within the day I took to write this one. I don't blame you if you didn't review:  
  
freakyfroggurl22: no he doesn't, but he knows he's more right than Sirius (the fool.)  
Sam: This soon enough?  
Prongs: ditto  
Triforce Knight: ditto again. And I didn't exactly get what the "fox" was?  
mononoke: I know. I really shouldn't have made him and arse in the first place. I think it's mainly just that Chloe has a big grudge for the baby, and it's all her point of view. I hope so anyway. Mostly...  
KeeperOfTheMoon: Your wish will be granted immediately! (You reviewed kinda just before I posted this).  
  
Thankyou, and please review again - Mai :D 


	11. Sirius, the Shocked and Disgraced

Denial  
  
Chapter eleven - Sirius, the Shocked and Disgraced  
  
*****  
  
It three weeks before Easter. Another boring Tuesday, spent doing boring things, and to top it off more History homework. But several hours before that we where in bloody Divination (for the millionth time). So anyway, it all went boringly as usual until Peter started reading Sirius's tea leaves (another revision lesson).  
  
"That thing there-"  
  
"What thing where?" Sirius cut him off.  
  
"There. That thing." Peter said, pointing into Sirius's cup.  
  
"Oh yes. That thing there." Sirius said, still with no idea what Peter was talking about.  
  
"Yeah, but that thing there means, I think, that you will get a huge surprise." Very true.  
  
"Wow. When?" Sirius asked uninterestedly.  
  
"Um. Very soon." Peter replied.  
  
"How soon?" Sirius asked, trying to wind Peter up.  
  
"Um. Within a week?" Peter suggested. Hell no. I wasn't telling Sirius this week!  
  
"Which week?" Sirius asked, continuing to try and wind Peter up.  
  
"This week, twat."  
  
"Which day?"  
  
"How am I supposed to know?"  
  
"Ooh. Stressed." Sirius finished.  
  
"Fuck off." Peter muttered.  
  
"No you fuck off." Sirius said in a squeaky voice, and then pretended to slap Peter.  
  
"Boys. Boys." Professor Trelawny interrupted smoothly. "This is not helping your aura. Please try to concentrate." She glanced in Sirius's cup. "Expect a large emotional blow in the near future." Dammit. He was s'posed to be pleased with my news. Even though I'd known he wouldn't be. She moved onto Peter's cup, "You will not be in the limelight. You will have a backstage part." She told him.  
  
"What the hell?" Sirius muttered. Peter only shrugged.  
  
The lesson ended as boringly as it had started, me and Kira went back the common room, met Lily, and everything was fine and dandy, until the other two decided to go to bed, leaving me on my own with my thoughts... and History homework, but I wasn't concentrating on that.  
  
In fact, as is was much more interesting, I was concentrating on the BC's (Bastard Crew's) conversation. They where discussing their personal lives, and so I decided to lie down on the couch so they couldn't see me, and hold back from the lovely details they so needed to tell their friends.  
  
I tried to concentrate on my homework. I really did. I just don't like concentrating on pointless subjects which aren't going to help my life in any way. In fact, the only reason I can think of, to learn History of Magic, is to be a History of Magic teacher, and doing that would just be wasting your life.  
  
Anyway, I listened intently as their conversation wheeled itself round to sex. I had mixed feelings on hearing this subject being discussed. On the one hand I wanted to know what Sirius would say about me. On the other I couldn't bear it if he ignored me, or insulted me.  
  
In fact that could well be more than I could take at the moment, but I wasn't in a position to leave, after the things they's been discussing (some had made me shiver in disgust).  
  
This interesting topic began with Remus mentioning him shagging someone.  
  
"You're not a virgin then?" James observed.  
  
"No way!" Remus said.  
  
"How many times?" James asked. Remus shrugged.  
  
"I think the real question is how many girls." Sirius pointed out, and then they chuckled, and didn't bother getting Remus to reply.  
  
Then Remus said, "So, James your a virgin?" James nodded his head. Good, he was ugly enough. What did Lily see in him? "I can't belive that!" Remus exclaimed. I could. He was ugly, End of story. Unless Lily, the princess, kissed him and he turned into a handsome prince. After all, this was Hogwarts. Anything was possible.  
  
Then they asked Sirius.  
  
"How many you shagged then?" Didn't bother asking IF he was a virgin. Oh no, this was Sirius, new girl every week, no way he couldn't be. They probably thought he'd slept with every one of them. He probably had. I was just one of his common sluts. Just the only one with whom he forgot the condom. Didn't I just feel so elated at that? No, actually, not particularly.  
  
Then he surprised us all (I think. I hope not, but I think), by saying. "Two."  
  
Me and... if it was Charlotte that was the last straw. She didn't deserve him. Oh no, yes she did, they were both scum from the gutter.  
  
"Who was the first?" Remus asked.  
  
"Chloe." Came the short reply.  
  
"And the second?"  
  
"Charlotte." The bitch. Ok, that was really, actually upsetting. He just stabbed me in the back! God, we're together for a month, I'm his first time, and then straight after he just goes and shags Charlotte. What a twat. God I hated him.  
  
"That it?" Remus asked, disappointed in his friend.  
  
"Yes. Why, how many you shagged then?" Sirius asked. My thoughts exactly. I thought Sirius got all the women, not Remus. Then again, I'm glad I'm not just one of many sluts. I was one of two. And that's bad enough.  
  
"More than you, that's for sure." Remus said. What a womaniser.  
  
"So, who was better, Charlotte, or Chloe?" Peter said (attempting to change the subject, but failing, seeing as it was the same one).  
  
"Um, that's a hard one..." Sirius said. Tears actually welled up in my eyes then. I didn't realised I was that upset or resentful. Tears from the hatred and rejection on Sirius's part. I thought 'No it's not. it's obviously me.' "At least Chloe had the sense not to shriek all the way through." That kind of cheered me up. Not much though. "Dunno, Chloe was better in some ways, but Charlotte felt kind of better."  
  
"Gets better the more you do it." Remus said wisely. I'm sure it does. Sirius wasn't bad himself, and there he was putting Charlotte before me. I don't know how much he actually was putting her before me, I can't remember everything, but that's how it felt, definitely. Maybe I was being irrational but that was not the point.  
  
The back stabbing git had me one night, and Charlotte the fucking next! Literally fucking! He was just such a fucking bastard.  
  
And what is it with bloody mind readers, they just appear everywhere! Remus said, "So you had Chloe one night, Charlotte the next?" which seemed kind of a stupid question seeing as he went out with Charlotte straight after me.  
  
"No, actually, Charlotte was when I was going out with Mya during the Christmas holidays." Oh, ok, at least he had the courtesy to shag me while he was actually going out with me, and never shagged anyone behind my back. That makes it all better!  
  
I didn't need his petty excuses.  
  
"You used protection, didn't you?" James asked. Somehow I think not, but somehow Sirius thought so, in fact his actual words were "I think so." thus proving my point, and that he's a stupid idiot.  
  
"So, the whole joke about Chloe being pregnant is completely a joke." James verified. They were joking about me being pregnant behind my back? JOKING? What kind of SICK and TWISTED joke?  
  
"Absolutely."  
  
What the fuck was that. The WRONG word. Sirius really IS a fool.  
  
"What about my predictions?" Peter piped up.  
  
That couldn't be me. I wasn't going to marry him, or tell him I was pregnant within the week, or even SMILE at him EVER again.  
  
"Will you stop trying to make out you can actually see stuff, when we KNOW you're just sucking up to Trelawny?" Sirius burst out. "She's NOT pregnant!"  
  
At this point I couldn't help but let out a humourless laugh. Sirius shut up immediately.  
  
Then James whispered, clearly not quietly enough, "If someone's in here, then they've just found out I'm a virgin."  
  
"I still can't believe that." Remus said.  
  
"Shhh!" Said the other three. The BC started searching the room for signs of life and eventually James found me, lying, listening to their conversation.  
  
"Shit." He said. I sat up and watched, glaring at him, as he crossed the room, and started whispering, and pointing at me. I saw Sirius drain white, and Peter start shaking (wimp). Then I said, to break the silence, "We didn't use protection actually, Sirius."  
  
"Didn't we?" He asked, shocked.  
  
"No." I stated. "And it's quite funny really. That joke of yours turns out to be true."  
  
*****  
  
*hides* I didn't call James ugly, it was Chloe, I swear, she's crazy.  
  
I'll put L/J in sometime soon, but this was a very important chapter, and now I've left you hanging over the edge of a large cliff, wondering who's goignt o fall first, and who will, drown,a nd who will be scattered on the rocks, and who will be picked up by the inflatable life boat and taken home for some coco, and who's strong enough to climb back up, but may get some grass stains on the way up, which even Vanish can't remove.  
  
I realise I didn't have to drag that out so much.  
  
I'll try to relieve of the sinking feeling tomorrow, but no promises. You may be the one scattered on the rocks, or tossed in a sea of turmoil.  
  
I'll shut up now.  
  
Thanks to my reviewers! 60 reviews! I want 100 by the end of this tragic tale, but there's a while to go yet.  
  
With an average of 6 reviews a chapter I think I will just make 100 by the end.  
  
Anyway, thanks to everyone - Mai :) :D :) :D :) :D :) :D :) :D :) 


	12. Sirius, the Denying and Disbelieving

Denial  
  
Chapter twelve - Sirius, the Denying and Disbelieving  
  
*****  
  
"What joke?" Sirius asked.  
  
"What joke?" I said, in disbelief, as a tear slid down my cheek. I fiercely wiped it off. "Now, that is twisted." I said, shaking my head.  
  
"What joke!" Sirius demanded.  
  
"I'm pregnant." I told him, simply. He was going to blow up in my face. I knew he would. 'You will receive an emotional blow.' Wasn't that what Trelawny said? I wanted to cry. But I couldn't look weak. That would be shouting for attention. I didn't want that.  
  
"You're not pregnant!" He barked. I looked at the carpet. If only it were true. "Tell me, you're not PREGNANT!" He actually shouted the last word. I looked back up at him.  
  
"I can't." I said in a hoarse voice. I cleared my throat. "I can't," I repeated, "because I am."  
  
Sirius started shaking. I don't whether he was scared or enraged. But it was frightening. I started to back away, until I banged into the table with my homework on it. The homework fell. I bent to pick it up, and used the opportunity to wipe my brimming eyes.  
  
When I stood back up Sirius looked ready to kill. He yelled, then started kicking the chair. What had I done to him? He was a lunatic!  
  
"No. Way. No. Way." He was saying over and over, with each kick of the chair. He kicked it especially hard, one last time, then looked back up at me. His face contorted.  
  
"But we used protection!" He yelled.  
  
"Shhh, mate." Remus said, stricken.  
  
"We did!" Sirius yelled again.  
  
I shook my head slightly. I didn't particularly want to draw his attention to me, in case he started attacking me, or the baby.  
  
"Chloe seems to think you didn't" James whispered in Sirius's ear. Sirius looked disbelievingly at the floor for a moment. Then he looked at me fiercely.  
  
"You're pregnant." He said. He had a knack for stating the obvious actually.  
  
I nodded.  
  
"Well. why didn't you tell me?" I shrugged. "Where you going to tell me?"  
  
"W- yeah. But- I was scared. I didn't know how you'd react." 'Now look how you have' I thought. A few tears slid down my cheeks. No use wiping them away, there were more on standby.  
  
"Do I get a say in its name?" He demanded.  
  
"Yes." I said weakly.  
  
"Do I get to see it? Hold it?"  
  
"Yes." I said, quieter than before.  
  
"Can I help look after it?"  
  
I nodded. I was crying too much to speak.  
  
"Sirius, stop." James said.  
  
"Can-"  
  
"Sirius, STOP!" James shouted, tugging his friend's arm.  
  
"Why should I, it's my child?" He shouted back.  
  
"You're upsetting her!" James said, implying me.  
  
"Oh, and I'm not upset at all. I just found out I'm going to be a FATHER, James!"  
  
"People are supposed to be happy when they find that out." James told Sirius forcefully.  
  
"I'm 16!" Sirius said.  
  
"She's 15! She's been living with it for months! This is going to interrupt her schooling." Even though they were arguing about me I was glad nothing was being directed at me. Peter was staring at me, still looking petrified, and Remus was looking from friend to friend, wondering what to do.  
  
"You think it's not going to affect my life at all?" Sirius asked James.  
  
"Of course it is. It's going to affect you both. But Chloe's got the most responsibility as a mother. She's lived with it. Why can't you?"  
  
Sirius stared stonily at the ground. I was silently thanking James, and making another mental note to tell Lily that James was actually a half decent guy. I joined Sirius, and looked at the floor. I really wanted to go back to the dorm, fall asleep, and not worry about it till tomorrow, but that wasn't really an option.  
  
"Don't tell anyone." Sirius said suddenly, startling me out of my thoughts. His voice had dropped to a normal level. I looked at him guiltily. He narrowed his eyes. "Who have you told?" He asked, his voice now dangerously low.  
  
"The nurse, well, she told me, Dumbledore, we had to find a way round exams, my mother," Sirius frowned at this. I decided not to comment, but I was dreading what I was going to say next. "And Lily, and Kira."  
  
"Why'd you tell them?" He burst out suddenly.  
  
"Your friends know!" I said, as the tears, which had stopped, came again.  
  
"It's not my fault you chose to tell me in front of them."  
  
"I need SOME moral support." I burst out.  
  
"What about your mother?" He spat.  
  
"Oh yeah, great, the bitch who rejected me."  
  
Sirius looked slightly shocked at this. James frowned in disbelief. "Your own mother?"  
  
"Mmhm." I said regretfully.  
  
"What about your dad?" He asked.  
  
I shook my head, but before I could reply Sirius said, "He left them." Though never taking his eyes off me. I just couldn't believe he'd remembered something about me. That he'd actually been listening.  
  
"Oof." James said sympathetically. There was a pause.  
  
"I won't tell anyone else." I promised.  
  
"Neither will I." Sirius said in a softened tone. I hadn't expected him to say that. Still his eyes were on me. I just wanted him to look away.  
  
"When's it due?" He asked. His tone was curious. But just that, only curious. Not threatening, or angry, just curious.  
  
"End of June." I replied.  
  
"Ok." He said. We lapsed into silence. Suddenly the clock went startling us all.  
  
"It's one in the morning." James informed us. "Bed. Come on." He ushered his friends towards their staircase. I waited till they'd gone, then collapsed back on my sofa, sobbing.  
  
He wasn't meant to have reacted like that.  
  
I stayed with my head buried in the pillow for a few minutes, until I heard feet on the staircase. I couldn't tell which one, but I thought it was either Lily, or Kira. I quickly sat up, wiped my eyes, collected my homework together and stood up, about to make my way through the shadows to the stairs, so whoever it was wouldn't see my red eyes. I glanced up to see who it was, and saw . James?  
  
"You alright?" He asked. I nodded and sniffed. He stood for a moment, and glanced around. Then he walked towards me, so I stopped.  
  
"Look if-" He began. I just looked at the floor. "I can talk to Sirius. Try and . help." He suggested.  
  
"Thanks." I said. Thank God. I sniffed again. Another tear slid down my cheek. I started walking again.  
  
"Chloe? Chloe." He said, catching up with me. He stood in front of me, and gently took my wrist in his hands. "If you ever need me. I'm always here." He said. I smiled weakly, and twisted my hand to hold his. We paused. Then, hesitantly, he raised his other hand, and wiped my tears of my cheeks.  
  
I smiled again. "Thanks. Again." I said.  
  
"S'ok." He said. "You can go to bed now." He said, and let go of my hand, as I turned to go up the staircase.  
  
"Goodnight." I called. He waited at the bottom until I'd gone from his sight, then I heard him turn and leave to go to his own dormitory. I slowly shuffled up the winding staircase, till I got the fifth door up. That was our dorm.  
  
When I went in everyone else was asleep. I slip through my hangings, and pulled the covers over me, and fell asleep still in my robes. I really didn't have enough energy for anything more.  
  
*****  
  
There will be no Chloe/James romance. K? And Sirius has his reasons for Bastardness. I just figured them out, so all is well with the world. I just found out how to spell arrangement. It doesn't know of such a word on the tacky free spell checker I've been using. This time I used word to write this though. Don't have it on our other computer.  
  
Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this chapter. I enjoyed writing it. It only took me about an hour, not the whole day. I was going to leave you in suspense for another day, because I was busy all morning, and didn't think I'd have time to finish this, but here you go!  
  
So many people have Dogz! It's so cooool! Hehe. For the Dogz owner, I have a website: . You may visit it; in fact I encourage you to. My Dog, Luna just had three puppies. How wants a white Dali/Mutt cross? Or a dali/mutt cross which is basically a dalmation, but may have some interesting genes. For Dogz 5 or 4 if you want them.  
  
But that's kind of off the subject. (Just a little)  
  
Please review. If you have a massive grudge against Dogz, please don't stop reading, because you know my story's worth it!  
  
Also Oof is word of the week. I've used it twice. It's slightly odd, I know.  
  
Love you all - Mai  
  
Ps. TEN reviews for the last chapter. It was half that for chapter10. Come on, I want 10 again. 


	13. Sirius, the Confused, According to James

Denial  
  
Chapter thirteen - Sirius, the Confused - According to James  
  
*****  
  
After a sleep filled with nightmares, about Sirius turning into a demon, I woke to see it was still quite dark outside. I got up and looked at Lily's alarm clock. 4:50. It was far too early. I'd only had three and a half hours of sleep. That was definitely not enough. I got back into bed, but I couldn't get back to sleep. Instead I lay thinking about Sirius and out child.  
  
At 6:45 Lily's alarm went off. I heard Lily get up, and shuffle about, before taking a quick shower. By the time she'd finished it was about seven. The time I normally got up. I didn't fell like getting up today. Odd that.  
  
I heard Lily come over and open the window sill. She was probably sitting on the sill, enjoying the morning sun, and the gentle breeze. I wasn't in the mood for enjoying things.  
  
Soon enough Kira, Mya and Ellissa got up as well.  
  
They all started doing things and walking round the room, and talking, distracting me from my peace.  
  
After a while someone said, "You think we should wake Chloe up?"  
  
I just wanted everyone to leave me alone.  
  
"Yeah." Lily replied. Gently she pulled open one of my hangings. I hid my head under the covers. "Chloe, it's time to get up." Lily said softly. I shook my head. "Come on Chloe, it's almost eight." Lily told me. I looked up at her.  
  
"Please? I really don't-" I said. wasn't sure what I 'didn't', but I REALLY didn't.  
  
"What's wrong?" She asked quietly. I beckoned her onto my bed, and drew the hangings. A couple of seconds later there was a knock on one of the wooden posts of my bed. Kira's head poked in.  
  
"Can I come it too?" She asked. I nodded slightly.  
  
Once they were both settled opposite me I began, "Last night, when I was down doing my homework, um..... basically Sirius found out."  
  
Kira's mouth formed itself into an 'o', and Lily leaned over to hug me. Then she sat back again.  
  
"And, he went absolutely crazy, and stated kicking the furniture, and yelling, and demanding things, and it was awful." Lily took my hand and squeezed it. "And I don't want to get up today." I finished.  
  
"Scared?" Kira asked.  
  
I nodded. "A bit." They both looked at me sympathetically. After a moment I said, "But, Lily? James is actually a decent guy. Quite a nice decent guy. You have my permission to fancy him."  
  
Lily laughed. "Thanks, oh great Queen of love and relationships." She said.  
  
I smiled, "Shut up." I told her.  
  
There was another pause.  
  
"So you're not coming to lessons today?" Kira asked. I shook my head vigourously. No way.  
  
"I'm Ill." I told her. Then started having a fake, but very violent coughing fit, to make my point.  
  
"Ok, we'll come to see you at break, unless you want any breakfast or anything?" Kira asked.  
  
"If you could get me a cup of tea at some point that would be lovely." I said.  
  
"K, we'll try." Lily said, before opening the curtains, and getting out. Kira followed. I buried myself back under the covers.  
  
"She getting up?" Ellissa said, slinging her bag over her shoulder.  
  
"Nah, she's ill." Kira said.  
  
"What's wrong?" Mya asked. Kira shrugged.  
  
"Can't she go to the nurse?" Ellissa asked. Kira shrugged again. I heard Ellissa mutter "skiver" as she left the room, but I didn't particularly care. Lily and Kira collected up their stuff.  
  
"Bye Chloe." They called as the left.  
  
I lay in bed for a long time, and wondered round the dorm for a bit, but by 10 o'clock I was pretty bored, so I ventured down into the common room. It wasn't break for another half an hour.  
  
I had become very bored, and lay down on the same sofa as last night, with my head resting on the same cushion I'd cried into, and looked around the room. In fact I noticed several things I hadn't noticed before. The plaster on the ceiling wasn't just any old pattern, it was an artistic circle of Lions with a pattern of vines and leaves around it. Each table had one sofa and three chairs around it. In fact they looked very neat and orderly. They didn't usually look so organised. Also as I looked about I thought I saw something darting behind the furniture, making it's way round the room. No. There were more than one. They kept scrambling around everywhere.  
  
Finally I saw one out in the open, tending the fire. A house elf! Wow. I'd never actually seen one before. I shifted on my seat to get a better look, and it looked up startled. Then, for some reason, it bowed.  
  
"Good morning young mistress." It said in a bizarre squeaky voice.  
  
"Uh. Hi." I replied. I was going to sit back down, and try to find some more things I hadn't yet noticed about the room, but it spoke first.  
  
"Is there anything Ankie can do for you?" It asked.  
  
"Who's Ankie?" I asked, very much confused (House elves have never heard of grammar).  
  
"I is Ankie miss." (You see?).  
  
"Um, well, could I have a cup of tea then?" I asked.  
  
The elf bowed again. "It will be Ankie's pleasure."  
  
"I'm glad." I said, frowning. House elves were weird. Ankie rushed off behind a group of chairs then disappeared. A few minutes later it came rushing back in from no where, and placed a cup of hot tea with milk on the table in front of me, then bowed, and returned to the fire. "Thanks." I called. It turned round and bowed.  
  
"There is no need to thank Ankie." It said. 'Yes there is. My friends would never do that for me, if I wasn't pregnant.' I thought.  
  
I lay back down, with one hand on my stomach, and sipped my tea.  
  
After 20 minutes or so I started to hear people coming to the common room. All the houselves flitting around darted off, and I stood quickly, put down my cup and rushed across the room, as the first people burst through the portrait hole. As I started climbing the stairs I saw James and Peter come in, behind a crowd of second years, followed by Sirius and Remus.  
  
I ran up the stairs, and jumped into bed, pulling my covers over me. Then I heard footsteps come up the stairs and stop outside the door. I was praying it was Lily and Kira.  
  
Then they knocked. Lily or Kira wouldn't knock. Neither would Mya or Ellissa.  
  
After a moments thought I stood up and walked over to the door.  
  
"Who is it?" I called croakily.  
  
"James." Answered a voice. "Can I come in?"  
  
At least it wasn't Sirius.  
  
I opened the door, and let him come inside, then sidled over to my bed, and sat down. He followed me, and knelt in front of me. "Are you ok?" He asked.  
  
"Yep." I replied. I felt fine now, but I still didn't want to confront Sirius.  
  
"Why were you off this morning?" James asked.  
  
"I was depressed," I replied, "And scared."  
  
"Of Sirius?" I nodded. "You know," James began, "He's just confused. He doesn't know what to do with a baby."  
  
"Neither do I." I whispered  
  
"Is no one helping?" I shook my head. "Dumbledore?"  
  
"He's helping with school stuff." I replied.  
  
"What about the nurse?" I shook my head. "You should go to see her." He advised.  
  
"I probably should." I whispered. This conversation was getting me depressed again.  
  
There was a moment of silence. I blinked back some tears.  
  
"Oh, Chloe." He said, pulling me into a loose hug, and rubbing my back. I closed my eyes, and wiped my tears off on his shoulder. "Sirius is acting so distracted today. He was paying even less in lessons than usual. He's completely lost. We can't anything out of him, and he won't even join in our really important plans."  
  
I didn't ask what plans. Rule breaking no doubt. That's what the BC did. Though I didn't think they all deserved that title anymore.  
  
Just then the door opened again, and Ellissa and Mya walked in. I pulled myself out of James's embrace, and sat back on the bed. Ellissa and Mya glanced at us, then at each other, picked up some books and walked out of the room whispering to each other.  
  
James and I watched this, then James turned back to me.  
  
"Oh well, they can think what they want." He said. I shrugged. Yeah they could, to a certain extent. But if it came out I was pregnant I was sure Sirius wouldn't be happy if everyone thought it was James's.  
  
James would be able to convince them that there was nothing between us.  
  
Then Lily and Kira came in.  
  
"Hi." Lily said, "Hi, James." Kira smiled up briefly.  
  
"Hey." James said. "I should probably go now, bye." He stood up, and left.  
  
Once the door closed Lily burst out "What the hell was he doing in here?"  
  
"Seeing if I was ok." I replied, lying down.  
  
"Fiiine." Lily said.  
  
"Yeah, I decided we shouldn't call them the Bastard Crew anymore. James doesn't deserve it." I told her.  
  
"Good." She replied.  
  
"Very."  
  
"So there's nothing between you two?" She asked.  
  
"Absolutely not." I replied.  
  
"It's just that Ellissa and Mya are shouting all over the common room that you and him are going out."  
  
*****  
  
Eesh. There you go. One chapter. Hope it was ok. Review. Immediately. Or I murder you in a bloody way. A hellish bloody way. Then laugh in your face. MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!  
  
Anyway. I'd like to thank all the 19 people who have reviewed this story. In particular:  
  
BertieBottsGeorge (who's reviewed EVERY SINGLE CHAPTER!!!)  
FreakyFrogGurl22 (every chapter but one)  
KeeperOfTheMoon (every chapter but two)  
  
And other great people who review a lot:  
  
Jo  
Sam  
Child of the Wolves  
Prongs  
  
(they've reviewed 6 or more times)  
  
I realise that in many cases it's just that they didn't start reading the story till recently, but they gave great potential to become great reviewers of the best fenfiction ever told (ie. this one).  
  
Actually no, Crossroads, by Emmyjean is the best ever, but read it on hidden tower, because for some reason I can't remember she isn't putting any more up here for a while. It's an L/J.  
  
You're still great if you've reviewed my story at all.  
  
Anyway..... I had something else to say..... I've completely forgotten what..... Review!  
  
Love you all - Maigon Jesolite  
  
Oh! I know what it was. Yeah, the stories going to be longer than it was going to be. Be happy. It's kind of gone off my plot a bit, but I get bored of following plots. 


	14. Sirius, the Madman

Denial

Chapter fourteen – Sirius, the Madman

The next day I decided I should probably get up off my lazy backside, and go to lessons. When I got to the common room I saw a small crowd gathered round James, and as I made my way across to see why a third year girl came running up to me.

"Is it true you and James are going out, because you see my friend really fancies him, and she's really upset he's got a girlfriend who's fatter and uglier than she is."

"Piss off." I told her, "You are quite fat actually, I suggest a diet." Her friend, my arse. She clearly meant herself.

Then suddenly James shouted, "Where the hell did this ridiculous idea come from that if I hug someone I'm going out with them!?"

The crowd quickly dispersed.

Later I was sitting in the Great hall, with Lily and Kira, enjoying my breakfast, which was sausages and I love sausages, and everything was jolly with the world until this boy in Slytherin, who I was pretty sure was called Severus Snape (though I could have been wrong, it's a weird name), came up to our table. He actually went to a place a few seats down, where the former BC were sitting (also enjoying their breakfast by the looks of it, except for Sirius who was too preoccupied to notice he was eating with his knife).

Then he started having a go at James for no apparent reason. Perhaps he was just bored. Actually he came on the pretence of borrowing the plate of sausages in the centre of the table.

Anyway, it went kind of like this:

"Can I borrow these? You don't seem to be eating any." Snape sneered, and his eyes roamed the table for people eating sausages. Then they came to me. I had five on my plate. "Except for Chloe Stone. Haven't you told your girlfriend that sausages aren't fashionable anymore?" He asked James.

"How fast do rumours spread?" James muttered to himself. "For God's sake, I'm _not_ going out with Chloe. It's pathetic, really, that a guy can't hug a girl without a load of rumours saying he's going out with her." James said. I glanced down at Ellissa and Mya. They were looking at their food grimly. The former BC were quite popular, and they'd spread rumours about one of its key members. Woopsy, girls.

"It's not just that." Snape said, "I heard you had late night meetings."

"One. That was coincidence." James said calmly. It was actually. I just happened to be up at the same time as the FBC (former BC), and they just happened to force me into saying I was pregnant, and James just happened to be a nice enough guy to come and see if I was alright.

"Petty excuses, Potter." Snape scoffed. "Learn to lie. And you know, Stone has put on a lot of weight." Snape poked my stomach, and my hand darted to it, "I'm surprised you'd go for a girl like that. Or are you using her? Are you lying about that as well?" Snape taunted. Snape started repeatedly poking my stomach. I screamed, stood up, and ran up the hall, using my arms to protect my child.

"You sick bastard!" I shouted at him. Sirius snapped from his reverie, as Snape ran after me and poked me again.

"You're a bit over protective of your _fat_, Stone!" He said loudly, and laughed. Sirius stood up, leaped over the table and ran towards us. He grabbed Snape's robes, and jerked him round, then pushed him away from me.

"Fuck off, Snape." He snapped. He grabbed my arm, and marched me out of the hall. I could hear Snape still laughing behind us, but he didn't follow. When we got to the middle of the entrance hall he stopped me. He looked like he was about to say something when James ran in.

"Go away!" Sirius shouted. He grabbed my arm again, and pulled me to the marble staircase. We ran up two flights of stairs and I was exhausted.

"Sirius? Slow down." I panted. He stopped on the landing, put his arms under me and picked me up, then continued to run up five more flights of stairs to the empty common room.

He was breathless when we got there. He put me down on the nearest sofa, then sat next to me panting gently. He stared at me stomach for a long time. It felt very uncomfortable. After a minute he hesitantly leaned over, with his arm outstretched, and rested his hand on my bump. I put up a hand to join his. We glanced at each other, then looked back at where our hands where resting.

He shuffled over so he could be more comfortable, and leant against me, so I rested my head on his shoulder, and he didn't object.

Luckily he didn't notice when Kira, Lily and James looked through the slightly opened portrait hole. Then they went away again. They were just checking to make sure we hadn't murdered each other.

We sat there for the whole first period. When the bell went at break I took my head off his shoulder, and he took his hand off my stomach, and stared at his lap. We said nothing as the students streamed in, and Sirius looked up, only when Lily, Kira, and the rest of the FBC gathered around us. They all looked at us curiously. I didn't know what to say, but Sirius found something:

"I'm going to pay Snape back for that, if it's the last thing I do." Then he stood up, and rushed up the stairs to his dormitory.

"What's he going to do?" asked Lily, at the same time as James said, "I don't like the sound of that." They looked at each other and laughed. Good. Stage one of the plan to get Lily and James together was working. Not that there was a plan, but there should have been.

"You alright Chlo'?" Kira asked.

I nodded. "Yeah, I'm fine." I whispered. I just wanted Sirius sitting next to me again. I lay down on the sofa, closed my eyes, and half listened to their terribly interesting conversation.

*****

Very short. Sorry. I just know what to do next chapter, but not what else I could do this chapter. So here it is. Done. Read? Review? Pretend it's long enough? Pretend I didn't stop at a random point? Yeeeees. Good good.

Love you all – Maigon xxx ;)


	15. Sirius, the Hidden

Denial  
  
Chapter fifteen - Sirius, the Hidden  
  
*****  
  
My extra lessons came about a week later, shortly before Sirius's revenge. Every lunchtime, and after lessons each day I would have an extra lesson, with some teacher or other, in some room or other. The worst was potions. The first time Lily and Kira offered to come with me, for moral support, but they were soon sent away by the eeevil potions professor. I was left alone, in the dark, cold dungeons, with a dirty professor, who I was beginning to think was a paedophile or something.  
  
Anyway, in two weeks it would be the easter holiday, and after that I wasn't coming back for a long time. Bliss? Hardly. I still had teachers coming ROUND TO MY HOUSE to teach me and then prepare me for EXAMS. I'm sure pregnant people aren't supposed to be as stessed as that. But it was really beginning to show now. Like, sort of, obvious however much I tried to hide it. I reckoned Ellissa and Mya had worked it out, but they hadn't said anything. I also thought that they thought it was James's. Still going with the whole hugging thing (hugging. Honestly).  
  
Soon enough me and Sirius were pretty much on speaking terms, though conversation was a little awkward between us.  
  
Two saturdays after the Snape incident (this is two weeks before the holidays, by the way, one week after I'd started extra lessons) it was a Hogsmead weekend. Remus was ill ("Ill", you know? Everyone knew he was a warewolf. Well. We did. That counted as everyone. Neither he, nor his friends knew that we knew, but we did. I think Lily worked it out in some astrology lesson), Sirius was up in his room, James said he was 'scheming'. James didn't really want to go, so Lily didn't want to go, giving the excuse that she could stay with me. So Kira didn't go. I couldn't be bothered to go, and all that left was Peter. He didn't go either. That would have been sad and lonerish of him.  
  
So, together we sat in the empty, apart from a group of first years, and a loner second year girl, common room. Well. Neither Sirius, nor Remus was there, but you know. I was lying on one sofa, with my stomach before me. Lily and James were sitting next to each other on the sofa opposite (RIGHT next to each, I mean, she was practically on his lap), Kira was sitting next to Lily, and Peter was sitting on the floor, tapping the glass on the coffee table. We weren't really talking, so I decided to strike up a conversation.  
  
"Who wants to donate to baby clothes?" I asked.  
  
"Oo! I do!" Lily yelled suddenly, sticking her arm in the air, and hitting James's head in the process. "Oh, sorry James." She said, rubbing his head where he'd hit it. "Oh, Chloe, I'll come shopping with you, and we can buy some amazing clothes, and cool things, and everything! Wow! Yey!"  
  
"I want to help too." Kira whined.  
  
"Girls, eh?" Peter muttered. James simply shook his head.  
  
"Ok, keep it down people. I've still maanaged to keep it from some people." I said, trying to quieten Lily.  
  
"What about names? Have you thought about names yet! I have some great names." Lily prepared to list them off, "Morgana, Alludra, Tobias, Montague, Cerise....."  
  
"Blatantly it should be called Kira." Kira interrupted.  
  
"Or James!" James cried.  
  
"No, Kira." Kira insisted.  
  
"What if it's a boy?" James asked.  
  
"What's wrong with Kira for a boys name. That's settled. It's Kira."  
  
"Have you talked to Sirius about it yet?" Peter asked.  
  
"Don't be ridiculous!" I said, incredulously. "We may now be on speaking terms, but it's 'It's crap whether today.' type speaking terms, not 'What shall we call our first child together?' speaking terms." I said.  
  
"You have two weeks to sort your relationship out before you leave." Lily pointed out. "It would be easier now, rather than once you've left."  
  
I groaned. I wasn't in the mood for awkward relationships with ex-boyfriends. Especially now I was pregnant. Ironically it was that which meant that I had to have one.  
  
"Go on. You know you want to!" Kira teased.  
  
*****  
  
Sorry. Really REALLY short. SorrySorrySorrySorry. I just felt I had to update. I promise I will update this weekend (which may include monday,because it's a long weekend, but I'll try to do it before then), it's just, after the writing course, I'd just spent 4 days solid writing type stuff, and though it was fun, I needed a break. Thanks for the reviews, especially freakyfroggurl22's second one, that really motivated me. It didn't make much sense, but I got the message. Except the whole writing long chapters to make up for it, that went in one ear, out the other. Plus I've had the distraction of writing a letter to my friend at the same time (10 pages so far, A4 lined). I know that's no excuse.  
  
Thanks to everyone who reveiwed the last chapter. Something weird happened with the paragraph spacing, it wasn't my fault:  
  
freakyfroggurl22  
Lexi Black  
underscore  
LilyGinnyBlack  
KeeperOfTheMoon  
Thena  
bertiebottsgeorge  
Child of the Wolves  
ellie  
Sam  
summer rose  
Annoriel  
KeeperOfTheMoon  
freakyfroggurl22 (yeah, thanks for reveiwing twice)  
  
Ok, I figured, because of the authors note people couldn't reveiw chapter 14. Sorry about that. At least, that's my explaination for getting few reviews, and my excuse for you, so it'd better be true.  
  
I love you all! - Mai. 


	16. Sirius, the Revenge Master

Denial  
  
Chapter sixteen - Sirius, the Revenge Master  
  
*****  
  
Lily was one hundred percent correct. This was not surprising as she was usually one hundred percent correct, in fact 99.9% of the time, but that wasn't the point, the point was that, because she was correct, I had to speak to Sirius. I cornered him that afternoon, before tea. Everyone else had gone five minutes early, because James wanted to ensure he got the best potatoes (don't ask), but Sirius was still in his room. Peter and James had told him to come down, and he'd said he would in a minute. I whispered to Kira (Lily being too close to James), that I was going to stay and try to talk to him.  
  
Three minutes after they left Sirius came padding down the stairs. He didn't even glance at me as he made his way to the portrait hole, though I think it was because he was too preoccupied to notice me. He looked it.  
  
"Um, Sirius." I called over the chatter of Griffindor House, as he was about to push the portrait open. He turned around and looked me up and down, eventually his eyes resting on my stomach, thoughtfully. "Uh, can we talk." I said.  
  
"Ok." He said. He didn't move from where he was though.  
  
"Ok." I muttered, trying to stand up, but before I did so, he strode over and took my hand to lower me back down.  
  
"Sorry." He said, sitting next to me, "I'm really slow at the moment. Just takes a while for me to process anything."   
  
'Fine,' I thought.  
  
I turned to face him, "Sirius," I began. Then I realised I had no idea to start. I mean, there was so much to discuss, we couldn't go over it all now, all the arrangements, plans, things to buy, and decide.....  
  
"Sirius, the baby." I said after a moment, hoping this would prompt him into saying something.  
  
"The baby." He replied. No such luck, he just threw my plan back in my face. Great start.  
  
"Uh....." I faultered, "We need to talk about what we're going to do."  
  
"I have plans." He said quietly. Yes. Thank God.  
  
"For what?" I asked, curiously.  
  
"For....." He stopped, looked at me for a while, then gasped slightly, "Oh no, doesn't matter, no, forget it." He said. He had to go and ruin my moment of relief, didn't he.  
  
"So, has Dubledore spoken to you?" I asked.  
  
"No, he's going to." He said, pulling himself round, and sitting cross-legged on the sofa, facing me.  
  
"Ok, useful." I said.  
  
"What are you doing about school and exams, and stuff?" He asked.  
  
"Oh, fuck them." I mumbled, then I sighed. "I'm doing them at home. Lots of unecessary stress. I'm planning on not caring about them. As long as I take them, and get a few, I'm allowed to carry on learning to be a witch, and I'm not bad. I won't get straight A*s or anything, but I won't get all Ds. Anyway, the more I fail, the less NEWTs I have to do, so ultimately, it seems like a good plan with a baby to look after. I don't want to have to have my wand snapped, because I'm not worthy, or anything."  
  
Sirius nodded, half sympathetically, half 'I'm thinking, not listening, so I'll nod to pretend I am'.  
  
"Whenever the baby's born, I don't care if I'm in the middle of a Defense Against the Dark Arts exam, I'm coming straight to see it." DADA was Sirius's best subject. He was incredible at it.  
  
"Sirius, please, if your in the middle of a Defense exam, stay there. I need someone to get a job, so I can scav money off them, and you're the ideal person." He smiled slightly.  
  
"What about a Potions exam?"  
  
"Fine and dandy with me." I said, We laughed. A bit. It was a start.  
  
"How many OWLs are you doing?" He asked  
  
"Eight. The regular six, Divination, and Ancient Runes." Sirius frowned.  
  
"I'm doing nine."  
  
"Fool, you should have been clever like me, and only chosen two subjects." I quipped. He nodded.  
  
"Probably should have done. Divination's so dull. Wait. You don't like it do you?" He said. I shook my head. "Phew." He said. He'd got me thinking though. Divination. Fat girl. Smiling. Quite probably all me. The marriage wasn't though! Nu-uh, no way. If he ever dared ask me, I would point blank refuse.  
  
Suddenly a bell rang out across the school, signaling that it was tea time.  
  
Sirius stood up. "Come on, food." He said. He reached down, put his arm around me, and helped me up, then put his arm protectively around my waist, and led me, behind the stream of students making their way to the great hall. He stared at the carpet, deep in his own thoughts, until we reached the hall, and sat down, with Kira, Lily, and James between us (in that order).  
  
James already had half of the nearest bowl of roast potatoes on his plate. Apparently he liked potatoes. Lily was laughing at him, for some reason, Kira was making shapes with her beans, and Peter was digging into his pile of pork slices, fat, mushrooms, and all. I joined them in their feasting.  
  
About half way through tea Sirius stood up, and left us. He walked to the other side of the hall, and we could see him talking to Severus Snape at the Slytherin table.  
  
"What the hell's he doing?" Kira asked.  
  
"I don't know." Lily replied, turning back to her food. Kira joined her, and Peter had never turned round in the first place, he was too preoccupied with eating.  
  
"He said he was going to get revenge on Snape." I said to James.  
  
"We don't normally get revenge on people by talking to them." James replied, "I don't have a clue what he's up to, but it doesn't look healthy."  
  
"Eat Chloe!" Lily ordered, banging my fork on my plate, as she speared a piece of meat. I took the fork off her, and put the food in my mouth, but continued to watch Sirius. He came back a few minutes later, smirking.  
  
"It's sorted." He said, sitting down.  
  
"What?" James asked.  
  
"I told you Snape would pay." Sirius replied, picking up a large piece of broccoli with his fingers, and putting the whole thing in his mouth.  
  
"Has he?" I asked.  
  
"'e wi'" Sirius said, through his mouthful of food. Me and James glanced at each other aprehensively.  
  
"What are you going to do Sirius?" James asked seriously. Sirius only shook his head and swallowed.  
  
"Don't want to ruin the surprise. It'll be a dream come true: The ultimate downfall of Snape!" He declared. He scraped the remainder of the food on his plate onto his fork, and ate it all in one go. Then he left the hall at a run.  
  
****  
  
Longer. That was longer right? Yes it was. By about 300 words. Good. And I updated very quickly. Praise me! Or just don't. I sorry 'bout the last chapter, I couldn't be arsed to spell check it, it maybe wrong, live with it, I'm sure you will. Ok, Danke shön to:  
running-put-of-ink - THANKYOU! It's really more than I deserve. And the whole favourite authors thing - TANKYOU! I feel so special. (that's coz I am. I'm perfect) Shut up inner deamon.  
phoenix - Have you seen the cover? Ok, I've seen the english cover, but I'm english, so all is will. It's so cool. It's got a phoenix on it. You know, contrary to popular belief, the order of the phoenix may have been something to do with Fawkes, wands (the whole connection thing), and that connection meaning something has to happen, therefore the phoenix ORDERED it. In a disjointed way. Maybe I'm wrong. It seems likely, but it's an idea.  
freakyfroggurl22 - I'll come to that in a sec (and I got reveiw as I was writing, and replied even).  
LilyGinnyBlack - I kind of hadn't updated in two and a half weeks though, and before that it'd been everyday for a while. I felt I had to. Deamon pressure (hehe).  
  
You know, in 20 reviews I'll have the same amount as Save Tonight! That would be superb. And another six after that, and I'll be on Black Lily amount of reviews. That would be very superb. Please, come on, lots of reviews people.  
  
Ok, I'd also like to say: the six "regular" OWLs are: Transfiguration, Charms, DADA, Potions, History or Magic, and Astrology. JK said she knew there had to be seven basic lessons. The other is Flying, but I haven't included that because, a)I doubt there is a flying OWL, just as there isn't a PE GCSE (you may have to be english to understand this. OWLs are GCSE equivilents in magic) b) Flying lessons kind of die out for Harry after the first one, and they've basically been forgotten.   
With the whole OWLs to NEWTs thing, NEWTs are based on A levels, and for A levels you take three or four subjects from those you were doing previously, but they get more specific, so I figured it would be basically the same for Hogwarts. Hogwarts is based on an English Secondry (high) school.  
  
Also, I origionally said this would be17 chapters long. There have been several developements in the plot, and there will be more (I've thought of a great one), and these include what is just about to happen (which I'm sure you can guess. At least I've given him a fantastic reason to do it) so it's now over taken 20, and is on it''s way to 30 chapters. Hope you don't mind.  
Anyway, I want you to remember that this is REVISION for my English exam. I'm practasing creative writing in short spaces of time, ok? Ok. Good.  
Luv, Mai :D 


	17. Sirius, the Attempted Murderer

Denial  
  
Chapter seventeen - Sirius, the Attempted Murderer  
  
*****  
  
It was well past midnight when Professor McGonagal came to get me. She shook me gently, and I squinted up at her face through the light of the candle she held. It took a while for me to register who she was. It's not every day you get woken up by your transfiguration teacher. Or every night, as was the case. She told me to find a pullover, then follow her. I did so, utterly unaware of what the hell was going on.  
  
She led me out the door, down the stairs, and across the common room. We left through the portrait hole, and she took me down a few flights of stairs, along a large number of corridors, until we came to Dumbledore's disgusting Gargoyle. McGonagal said the password, and we stepped onto the staircase to go up.  
  
As we got to the top, and stepped trough the doors, I saw Snape, Peter, and Sirius standing in the middle of the room, soaked through. Peter was shivering, because he was, cold, or scared, I didn't know. Sirius was staring at the floor, smirking, and Snape was standing apart from them, looking outraged.  
  
"Ah. Miss Stone." Said Dumbledore, "We've brought you here to discuss a matter that some of our number felt it necessary to discuss immediately." He said gravely. So yeah, just wake this pregnant, depressed, girl, in the middle of her sleep. "I'm afraid to tell you that, Mr Black has acted rather foolishly, to say the least. Earlier tonight he led Mr Snape to, what could well have been, death."  
  
At this, Snape glared at Sirius, and Sirius in turn, chuckled slightly, to the floor. I just stared at them all, wondering what the hell happened.  
  
"I don't know if you are aware of Mr Lupin's condition?" He questioned me. I frowned and shook my head. What condition was this? "Well, I will not reveal secrets, which are not mine to tell." He said, sighing. "Mr Potter was the one to stop Mr Black, and I am unsure, as of yet, what Mr Pettigrew's roll in this was. The reason I called you here was because-" I gasped slightly, cutting him off. While he'd been speaking I'd been verifying that I knew no secrets belonging to Remus. I'd suddenly realised that I did, and tonight was a full moon (well, I assumed as Remus had been ill most of the day). "What is it Miss Stone?" Dumbledore asked.  
  
"Remus is a-" I stopped, aware that Snape was is the room.  
  
"Werewolf." Snape finished.  
  
"How do you know?" I asked.  
  
"I saw him."  
  
"Mr Potter stopped Mr Snape just in time. He'd already seen Mr Lupin, transformed." Dumbledore cut in. I nodded. So, Sirius had led Snape to Remus. To kill him! But, Sirius wouldn't.....  
  
"As I was saying," Dumbledore continued, "Mr Black claims his motives were related to your child."  
  
Ok, great. Now Snape knew as well. Dumbledore saw the indignant look on my face.  
  
"I asure you, everyone in this room already knew." He said, "Mr Black kindly told everyone, while ranting, and raving. Something about poking, and damaging the baby, I believe." He smiled slightly. How odd. There was an attempted murderer in the room. And, my God, he was my child's father! Shit. Slight problem.  
  
"He was poking her." Sirius said suddenly. It was the first time he'd spoken, and his voice was low, and sounded like a growl, but you could tell he was smirking, without even looking at him. "He poked her again, and again, and again, and again, and ag-"  
  
"They get the point." Snape cut it.  
  
"Shut up Snape, you scum." Sirius sneered. "He called her fat and made her scream and run away, and hurt my BABY!"  
  
"How did I know?" Snape demanded.  
  
"That's not the point! You shouldn't have touched her in the first place!" Sirius roared, his gaze finally moving from the floor, to stare, menacingly, at Snape.  
  
"If YOU hadn't touched her she wouldn't be pregnant!" Snape retorted  
  
"There you go blaming Sirius again!" I interrupted, in as loud a voice as I could muster. "It's a two way thing. It wasn't rape you know." Sirius continued to glare at Snape, and Snape's gaze flickered, uncomfortably, between me and Sirius.  
  
"What we need to establish, is whether Mr Snape's antics are reason enough to try and kill him." Dumbledore looked pointedly at Snape, then Sirius.  
  
"Of course they weren't." Snape muttered, at the same time as Sirius yelled, "I wasn't trying to kill him! I was trying to scare him so he wouldn't hurt my child. We have a werewolf handy. He doesn't."  
  
"By that as it may, your actions could have proved fatal for Mr Snape." Dumbledore pointed out. Sirius shrugged, his gaze returned to the floor. "Punishments will be dealt out accordingly, to both parties."  
  
"What?" Snape protested.  
  
"But, not before we've heard Miss Stone's side of the story. Chloe, what happened?"  
  
"Well, he was poking me, like Sirius said, and calling me fat, and accusing James of using me." I explained.  
  
"Very well." Dumbledore said. "I believe, as it is almost half past three in the morning, you may all now go to bed, and try and get a lie in tomorrow. James will be remaining in the hospital overnight, and your punishments will be dealt out by lunch time. Peter, please stay behind, I need to know exactly what part you played in this."  
  
McGonagal ushered us out of the office. I saw Peter throw Sirius a pleading look as he left, but he was still looking at the floor.  
  
McGonagal escorted Sirius and me to our common room, before taking Snape to the dungeons. Sirius seemed very zoned out, so I said the password, and went in, with him following behind me. I turned to go up to the girl's dormitories.  
  
"Chloe." Sirius said, through the darkness.  
  
"Yes?" I replied.  
  
"Come here." I walked over to him, to find him embracing me tightly, and rubbing my back. "I'm sorry." He whispered in my ear. "I was just trying to scare him." I nodded into his shoulder, thinking 'I bloody well hope so.' We hugged each other for a long time. I read a book once, and it went on about how you can never hug someone as long as you want to. It's too fucking true. After a while we kind of, jointly decided we needed to sleep, and left to go to bed.  
  
I couldn't sleep though. The father of my child was an attempted murderer.  
  
*****  
  
AN: Proper AN now. Spelled checked it. Found two mistakes. All good. I have a shakespeare exam tomorrow *cries* shakespeare's evil. Why'd he have to go and write a load of things so I have to study them? Some people just don't know when to stop. *shakes head in disgust*  
  
Anyway, hope you enjoyed the chapter. I'll write the other one now. Will be up, hopefully by tomorrow night. Hopefully. Or tongight, you never know when I'm going to be inspired. Anyway, I'll get it up soon.  
  
Thanks to everyone who reviewed. Please review again, kind, kind people. Or if you've never reviewed before, just review. All is good. I like praise. Me being so fantasti I deserve nothing less. And if you're a flamer, and you bothered reading this far, then you've just wasted a whole ot of your life, so I suggest you don't do that again.  
  
Anyway, loves you all - Mai ;)  
  
And thankies to people who already reviewed. 


	18. Sirius, the Suspended

Denial  
  
Chapter eighteen - Sirius, the Suspended (I'll just reveal his punishment on the spot)  
  
*****  
  
Sirius was suspended, until after the easter holiday. Peter admitted that he'd been helping Sirius and was suspended for a week. Snape recieved a week's worth of detentons. Sirius left as inconspicuously as he could on Sunday. I didn't realise he'd gone until James and Remus returned at around four in the afternoon, and told me that he and Peter had taken the train back that morning.  
  
This I found fantastic. Absolutely one-hundred percent brilliant. I still desperately needed to talk to him.  
  
I talked to Lily and Kira. Lily tried to persuade me to name it Montague if it was a boy. I told her that if, and when, she had children she would never curse them with such names. She said, she would, and it wouldn't be a curse. Me and Kira both tried to persuade her that it would be, but she's a stubborn one, that young Lily.  
  
Anyway, then she tried to tell me to call it Esmerelda if it was a girl. I told her I wanted it to have a normal name, so there was no chance of it being ridiculed. Special, different, but still normal. Such as Naomie, or Brittany, but I didn't want to call it either of those. I couldn't think of any boys names like that. Sebastian? Anyway. I needed Sirius to decide.  
  
Somehow Sirius managed to get by his whole life being called Sirius though. Maybe my child would have the same gift. I'd been stuck with Chloe. I had no chance to prove myself.  
  
Anyway, that was besides the point. The point was I had no idea what we were going to do, and I might not see him for months. This was not a preferable situation.  
  
I still had Lily, and Kira though. We each owled our parents, requesting that they could come over some time, and we could go shopping for baby-related things. I'd been saving all of my money recently, and Lily had some she was giving me. Kira said she'd buy many presents, which was basically the same thing.  
  
Later that night, we were all sitting in the common room, with James, and Remus, dscussing various things. I was attempting to concentrate on the charms work I had to finish for my lessons on Monday, but failing miserably, as I kept thinking how I needed to talk to Sirius. Eventually I tore the bottom half of the parchment off, and began to write.  
Sirius,  
  
We didn't get much of a chance to talk before you got suspended (slyly avoiding the subject of WHY), so I thought it was definately necessary to write you a letter.  
  
There are many, many things we need to discuss. A baby. We're having a baby. A child together. What are we going to call it? How are we going to look after it? I don't know, I've never had one before. I know you haven't either..... at least I hope. Maybe your mum's more understanding than mine. Could you talk to her?  
  
Will you be helping with money, and things? Will your parents help?  
  
I wish you hadn't got suspended Sirius, I badly need to talk to you. Once I get back home phone me. You've got my number, right?  
  
I don't know what to do. That's what it all amounts to. You got any suggestions? Please say you do. And write back soon.  
  
Chloe.  
Short, crappy, letter, but it should make the point. Hopefully.  
  
I took it to the owlery, and sent it, and returned tot the common room to watch the rain.  
  
*****  
  
Between that Sunday, and the next wednesday morning I did my extra lessons (very boring), and as Sirius suggested, went to see the nurse. She as very helpful, actually, and said she was hoping I was going to come and see her eventually.  
  
That wednesday, at breakfast I got a letter from Sirius. I hid it from Lily and Kira till I knew what it said. Actually it was quite light-hearted...  
Chloe  
  
I'm very glad you went to the nurse. That was something you needed to do. I also hope she gave you good advice, because I don't want anything happing to you or the baby. Are you going to Mungo's for the birth by the way?  
  
Ok, I would talk to my parents, but they're kind of angry at me at the moment. Something to do with getting suspended, or something..... Completely ignoring the fact that it was a Slytherin I was trying to scare. Oh well, I'll try and get some help from someone.  
  
Onto the subjects of names. Thats's a hard one, really. I mean, where do we start? And what if we completely dissagree? So I thought I'd start us off with some regular names so we can get some idea of what we each want:  
  
Joseph  
Jake  
Blake  
John  
Philip  
Paul  
Luke  
David  
Daniel  
  
Victoria  
Rachel  
Joanne  
Katherine  
Zoe  
Leah  
Hannah  
Faye  
Elizabeth  
  
I think they're mostly boring, but they might give us a starting point. And after all, we don't want to give it a reall weird name so it gets teased. And we can always give it an interesting middle name, for when it gets bored of it's first one. You may remember my first name is Ewan. Or I may not have told you. I can't remember.  
  
I will, however, remember to phone you when you get back. Shall I phone you the Sunday after? You're going back on Saturday, right?  
  
Ok, bye!  
  
Sirius  
His letter was at least twice as long as mine. I can never think of things to say in letters. It can get very irritating sometimes. He'd made some name suggestions though. That was more than I'd had the courage to do. I didn't really like them al that much, and Blake was just cruel (It means Black. Imagine being called Black Black).  
  
It gave us a starting point.  
  
Good.  
  
Things wouldn't be so bad then.  
  
*****  
  
Oh my god that was such a crap chapter. And very late.SORRY! I will write the next one now. I plan for it to not be so crap, and for it to be longer.  
  
Ok, thankyous to -   
  
freakyfroggurl22 - Thankyou so much. *I know. I'm perfect. Thankyou, thankyou.* Shut up inner demon. Sorry. Ignore me.  
  
LilyGinnyBlack - *Fabulastic, eh?*  
  
icyfire - mmhm... (is nodding head)  
  
KeeperOfTheMoon - mmhm. Me like hugging. It fun.  
  
LJ - *I know. I'm fantastic.* You're not my chemistry teacher are you? Those are her initials (DAMN HER).... ok, it wouldn't be good if you were.  
  
LexiBlack - *As I've said many times, I'm simply perfect*  
  
bertiebottsgeorge - *fantastic comedian, me* yep.  
  
Jo - neehe.  
  
rosezgarden - HA! And they'll hate Harry Potter just as much as I hate shakespeare. For writing FAR too much. "In my day we enjoyed HArry Potter"... hehehe.  
  
Triforce Knight - *I just have the greatest mind*  
  
Sam - I get you ..... (looks around for help) what? I kind of get it.  
  
Child of the Wolves - *Thankyou! Thankyou!*  
  
running-out-of-ink - I enjoyed that reveiw. Not ever can you hug someone for long enough. *Unless they smell. Then you can.*  
  
By the way, people things in my AN in **s are talkings by my inner demon. He's very full of myself, and kind of evil. (Yes, HE's full of MYself).  
  
AND! Two more reviews and I've beaten the reveiws on Black Lily!!!!!!!!! My most reviewed work yet. So you've GOT to reveiw. I need 142 in total.  
  
Love Mai 


	19. Sirius, the one who phones in the mornin...

Denial  
  
Chapter nineteen - Sirius, the  
  
*****  
  
The next train ride was as boring as the last, except probably slightly more so, with the exception of the end.....  
  
As I wasn't coming back till after summer, probably, my friends, James, and Remus decided to make a fuss of saying goodbye to me. I hugged Lily, and Kira, and Lily promised she'd phone and Kira said she'd owl me, so we could go shopping. I hugged James goodbye, and waved to Remus. I wasn't particularly close to him. Lily offered to help me with my trunk , but James said he'd do it, so he and Remus carried my stuff over to where my mum was standing. She eyed me, then them, not saying a word until Lily and Kira had hugged me once more, and everyone had left.  
  
"Which one of those was Sirius?" My mum asked.  
  
"Neither." I said quietly. I could see this wouldn't be the best Easter, or summer term, or summer holiday for that matter.  
  
"Where is he then?" She asked, still peering at James's retreating back. I had a feeling she knew Sirius had black hair.  
  
"Not here." I replied. I didn't want mum to know he'd got suspended.  
  
"Why not?" She demanded, looking at me now James was out of site.  
  
"I don't know." I replied, shrugging.  
  
"Oh, he clearly cares for you and the baby then, doesn't he?" She burst out.  
  
"He does." I replied through gritted teeth, "He had to go home early, personal reasons." Best way to get out of anything you don't want to answer.  
  
"But I'm your mother!"  
  
"You're not his mother, though." There was a pause.  
  
"Are you going to help me with this trunk then?" I picked up one end as she picked up the other, but I had to put in most of the effort, she wasn't bothering. We put it in the car boot, and moved round to get in the car. She started to move before I was even properly in, and overall seemed too distracted for my, or her own good, let alone the good of her grandchild  
  
We drove through London for 10 mintues or so, untill we got stuck at some red lights. We'd been waiting so long that mum had stopped the engine. We'd sat in silence so far, but now mum spoke.  
  
"I've booked an appointment for Thursday."  
  
"For what?" I asked.  
  
"For the abortion."  
  
"WHAT abortion!?" I demanded. I'd said I WASN'T having one.  
  
"You have to have an abortion, Chloe, you can't look after a baby on your own." She replied quietly.  
  
"I'm not. YOU'RE supposed to be helping."  
  
"I am, by getting you an abortion." She told me.  
  
"I could have got myself one. The health service is free, mum!" I yelled at her. "If I wanted one I would have got one."  
  
"I just think you're being a bit foolish. You're not assesing the situation."  
  
"I don't care. It's probably too late now anyway, and I want to keep this baby, and so does Sirius. You know what he's done to protect it?"  
  
"No."  
  
"Well, you wouldn't understand anyway, you don't understand anything." I shouted at her. I would have left, there and then, but this car, and our house, contained all I owned, and I really needed it. Maybe I'd consider running away once I got back.  
  
God, my mum was such a bitch.  
  
I didn't WANT an abortion, and I never HAD done!  
  
Why wouldn't she listen to me?  
  
We lapsed back into silence for at least another 30 miles, but then we got stuck in a massive traffic jam on the motorway. Mum started talking again.  
  
"I'll take you to the hosptital on Thursday, there's no need to worry about that." She said, quite calmly.  
  
"MUM! I'm NOT having an abortion, and you are NOT changing my mind! It's not your fucking choice! It's mine and Sirius."  
  
"Oh, yes, the non-existant Sirius." My mother muttered.  
  
"If HE was non-existant, our CHILD would be non-existant. Do you see a lump, or not?" I demanded.  
  
"I'm sorry, I'm concentration on driving." I checked the speed dial. Yeah. At one mile an hour. Along a straight road. With three lanes. And crash barriers. Takes LOADS of concentration. I sat, fuming in my seat, with my arms crossed for the rest of the journey. It was 11:00 when we finally got home, and I didn't have the energy to run away that night, so I simply refused food, fell onto my bed, and went to sleep.  
  
*****  
  
The next day I woke up at midday, when my darling little brother, Toby, came and jumped on my bed.  
  
"Someone's on the phone for you." He said, grinning and bouncing some more.  
  
"Who?" I asked sleepily.  
  
"Seewus."  
  
"Si-ri-us." I told him, standing up, and rushing downstairs as fast as I could manage. I grabbed the reciever off the table, and held it to my ear. "Hello?"  
  
"Hey." Sirius said, pleasently. "We need to talk."  
  
"Oh, yeah. We do." I said, in a colder tone. There was a pause.  
  
"So....." Sirius began.  
  
"Oh, Sirius. I'm- It's just," I dropped my voice, "My mum's being a real bitch she....." I couldn't tell him that she wanted me to get an abortion. "I *will* talk to you later, it's just, I can't now. I really need to get away. I'm probably going to Lily's or something. I'll phone you back, I promise." I said, hurriedly.  
  
"Ok, bye then." He said, slightly surprised.  
  
"Bye." I said quickly, before hanging up.  
  
"Who was that?" Mum asked, walking into the room.  
  
"Sirius." I said pointedly, before brushing past her, and returning to my room.  
  
*****  
  
I was going to do more, but it's kind of 11 at night, and it's not spell checked AGAIN! Sorry. And complete over use of capitals, sorry about that as well. It's just my computer doesn't poses a small thing called Word. (laughs at own computer). Anyway, please review this tonight, because I'm going away tomorrow, and I want lots of reviews in the morning, to boost my spirits (camping without a tent, in the cold, and the mud. Fun.)  
  
Anyway, I loves you all. I BEAT THE REVEIWS ON BLACK LILY! Thankyou SO much.  
  
- Mai ;) 


	20. Sirius, the waster of a whole POUND!

Denial  
  
Chapter 20 - Sirius, the waster of a whole POUND!  
  
*****  
  
I had the whole £70 of muggle money I'd saved up over the years with me, as I marched away from my house, with a bag of things I would need, thinking that now was the time I'd need to use it. I had some wizard money as well, so I could change it when I had a chance. I took the 12 bus to the bus station, and had found a coach going to Gloucester in an hours time. From there I simply had to find a bus that went to Cheltenham, then one which went near Lily's house, which was in... Leckhampton, then I could wander it for a while until I came to the house I was looking for. It was just off Leckhampton Road, so it wouldn't be too hard.  
  
I found a pay phone on the road nearby, and rang Lily's number. I hadn't actually checked I could go yet. It seemed likely I could, seeing as Lily's mum was so flexible. I didn't know what I would do once the holidays ended, but that was two weeks away. I couldn't be bothered to think about it now.  
  
The phone rang six times before anyone answered.  
  
"Hello, Barry?" The voice was high, and nasal. Not Lily's. Not her mother's. Definitely not her dad's.  
  
"Um, no, it's Chloe. Could I talk to Lily please?" I replied quietly.  
  
"Oh." The girl laughed slightly. It was probably Lily's sister, Petunia. "Sorry, I'll just get her." There was a pause, during which I could hear Petunia shouting to Lily that the phone was for her 'for some reason'. Then Lily picked it up.  
  
"Hi!" She said brightly. "When are you free for shopping then?" She asked.  
  
"Uh....." I paused, "um, actually, I'm kind of stuck."  
  
"Oh."  
  
"At a bus station." I finished.  
  
"What?" Lily asked, sounding very confused.  
  
"My mum got this crazy idea about me getting an abortion,"  
  
"But surely it's too late." Lily interrupted.  
  
"Probably." I replied hurriedly, "But the point is, I ran away. I'm on a pay phone right now."  
  
"Oh, you'd better speak quickly then." Lily said.  
  
"Oh, don't worry. I have a whole pound's worth to talk. Anyway, I was wondering if I could come to your house, at least for tonight. I have my stuff, and there's a coach to Gloucester in 45 minutes." I said, checking my watch. "Then, I could get the bus, right?"  
  
"Yeah, the 94." She replied. "So, you ran away, and you're getting a coach to Gloucester, then a bus to my house?" She verified.  
  
"If that's ok with you." I said.  
  
"Yeah, sure." She said. "Mum!" She shouted away from the phone. "Can Chloe stay tonight?"  
  
"Yes, whatever. She's welcome to stay whenever she likes." I heard a muffled voice reply. God, I wish my mum was like Lily's. She's so laid back about everything.  
  
"Ok." Lily replied. "So, how long will you take."  
  
"Oh, how's she getting here?" I heard Lily's mum call.  
  
"Coach." Lily replied. "To Gloucester, then she's getting a bus here."  
  
"I can take get her from Gloucester." Lily's mum said. I could never remember her name. Began with J.....  
  
"Ok." Lily returned to me. "Mum'll pick you up from Gloucester." She said.  
  
"I heard."  
  
"How long will the coach journey take?" Lily asked again.  
  
"I think it's about an hour. Either that or less. And it's in 45 minutes so..... pick me up at five fifteen?"  
  
"Alright. Are you sure you're ok?"  
  
"Yeah, I'm fine." I said. "Listen, my money's running out. See you later."  
  
"Bye."  
  
"Bye." I said, hanging up. Good good. All was well. At least for one night. And I was going to see Lily, and her cats (Ruby, and Phoenix. Cool cats), and I wasn't going to be pestered about my baby. Except, maybe from Petunia. Damn her. Oh well, I'd just avoid her as much as possible.  
  
Anyway. It looked set to be an alright-ish holiday.  
  
*****  
  
AN:/ Ok. Done. Short. Crappy. Done. Will start bext chapter immediately. Then will contemplate Biology homework. So..... boring.....  
  
Ok. Next chapter we will see the buying of stuff, the going back home, and maybe the extra lessons. Hopefully. I haven't written it yet. The whole plot could suddenly change. It has done several times, including the Remus thing, and the abortion thing, and there's more to come... nehee. Except you won't know what they are. But I'll try to remember to tell you.  
  
Good good. And 167 reviews people!!!!!!!! Thankyou!!! I love you all.....  
  
freakyfroggurl: not much actually. But this may have answered some of your queries.  
  
astrid: I'll update quicker this time *hides*.  
  
Sam: *shakes head* slight complications..... *manic laugh*  
  
Thena: I think I can actually. As I have mentioned in previous stories, I've done it many times. The funniest was when Ewan..... 'nother story  
  
LilyGinnyBlack: I know. I'm perfect.  
  
underscore: Yes, if you call "sleeping" under a poncho, and going on sentry for an hour, lying in the wet grass, and doing "stand to" (same thing), and getting covered in mud, not washing, or changing, and going to the loo in a bucket, fun.....  
  
Lexi Black: I think I can. I think I can. Ewan thing.....  
  
Annoriel: Well, I hope this chapter hasn't just broken the whol no not-good chapters thing.  
  
Bob the Invincible Elf: Cool name. I know yellow pixies called montague..... wait..... are you sure you don't mean Gnome? Only our geography teacher's called Bob, and he's a Gnome.  
  
LuNaMoOn: Ah yes. It has extended many times and will continue for many chapters. Maybe 30. In fact, most likely 30. Probably more.  
  
Lj: Of course you do. No, really, you REALLY do.  
  
Jo: Yes. Probably. Maybe JUST not. Isn't it like up to 7 months?  
  
Lainz: Here you go. Be happy.  
  
Ok. I love all these fabulous pople all..... 13 of them, and everyone else who reviews, and people who read and don't reveiw as well, but mostly people who do. *cough*review*cough*  
  
Anyway babye - Mai 


	21. Sirius, the Interrupter of Potions Lesso...

Denial  
  
Chapter twenty-one - Sirius, the Interrupter of Potions Lessons  
  
*****  
  
It was Wednesday, and Kira was over, and we were all in Mother Care, shopping for goods. Lily had been very frustrated, as I didn't know whether it was a boy or a girl, so I told her to just get it cute clothes, which could be for either, and she skipped off happily, through the shelves, looking for clothes. She'd also offered to knit some things. Kira said she'd just buy stuff. If she tried knitting, she'd probably fail miserable. I agreed. Those eyes must make it hard to see what you're doing.  
  
Shut up about the eyes, damn brain. They're just very blue.  
  
Of course, the likelihood of my child's eyes being blue was slim. 1/16th if my Math's is correct (which I doubt). Both me and Sirius had brown eyes, and both of my parents did as well. That meant that I was unlikely to have a blue-eye gene..... oh God. Genetics are far too confusing.  
  
Anyway, I was going to nick Toby's old cot and carrying around thingy (I'll be a great mother), and any old baby clothes we still have (very few, I'm thinking), so that should help provide, and Lily's mum was donating some old things, and some advice. Much more helpful then my mother - 'I booked you a too-late abortion, without your consent.'  
  
Lily was dragging us to the counter to buy these four babygrows she'd found. One was plain pastel yellow, another was pastel yellow, and lime green in patches, one was a mini sailor-suit resembling type thing, and the last was Red and white with little ducks on.  
  
Height of fashion, my arse. Cute, quite.  
  
I suddenly remembered, as we were leaving the shop, that I'd promised to phone back Sirius..... interesting idea. Perhaps I should follow that through. I decided, in fact, that I probably should do, so as soon as we got back I asked if I could use the phone. Jules (Lily's mum! Found out her name.) said of course I could, any time, so I sat down on the sofa, while Lily and Kira explored the loft for moth eaten baby cardigans, dialed Sirius's number, and waited.  
  
I was thinking, as the phone rang, how much I would like to put it down, and not have to face Sirius, but he answered before I had a chance.  
  
"Hello, who is it? How may I help you?" He said. It was the common phone greeting in his house, and you could take it as meaning the same as Lily's "Hello?".  
  
"Hi." I said. "It's Chloe."  
  
"Oh, hey Chloe." He said.  
  
"Sorry I didn't call back."  
  
"You did, about 30 seconds ago. What are you on about?" He said, jokingly.  
  
"Sorry I didn't call sooner." I corrected myself.  
  
"No it's fine. How are you?" He asked.  
  
"Um fine. Well," I remembered my mum, "I'm at Lily's. I kind of, uh, ran away."  
  
"Why?" He asked.  
  
I prepared myself, mentally willing Sirius to stay calm. "My mum wanted me to have an abortion." I could hear Sirius trying not to burst out. It was my mum after all. "I screamed at her, and took my stuff, and left to come to Lily's. It's too late now anyway." I said.  
  
"God!" Sirius said, loudly, "Why are people against this baby? What did it do wrong?" He demanded.  
  
"Nothing." I muttered. "But, unluckily, I have to go back. I have no where to go at the end of the holidays."  
  
"Back to a woman who wants you to have an abortion?" Sirius half-shouted. He stayed quiet for a second. "Sorry." He mumbled.  
  
"No, it's fine." I replied.  
  
"But, I don't want you to go back there! I want to protect my child." God Sirius could get protective. Maybe over protective. Oh God. He wasn't going to be a really over protective father, was he? And not let our child do anything? Please, God, no.  
  
After a short silence I said, "But where else can I go?"  
  
"I don't know." He said helplessly.We lapsed into silence again. "What did you think of the names?" He asked suddenly.  
  
"Um, I thought they were a bit boring." I replied.  
  
"They were just meant to be a starting point." He said. "Which did you like?"  
  
"Um....." I said, thinking back, "Uh, Paul, Jake, Joanne, Zoe?"  
  
"Ok," He replied. "So what other names do you like?" I hesitated. "I want you to be happy with the name. I'll have nothing against you if you suggest a name I don't like." Good. "Unless it's Chantelle or something." Fine. I wasn't going to suggest that anyway.  
  
"Well, I like Phoebe" I said. "And, Robert, I suppose." I thought for a moment. "Jordan."  
  
"Boy or girl?" He asked.  
  
"Boy. It's queer on a girl." I said.  
  
"Fine, I quite like that too."  
  
"Good." I said. We were getting somewhere. Bon!  
  
"What about a girl. Think of some girl's names." He didn't like Phoebe then. I thought for a moment as Ruby jumped up on the sofa next to me, purring.  
  
"Ruby?" I suggested.  
  
"Ruby, eh?" He said.  
  
"Yeah, that's what Lily's cat's called." I explained.  
  
"Ok." He said.  
  
"And she's sitting on my knee."  
  
"The cat?" Sirius asked.  
  
"Yes. Fool." I replied. Sirius laughed.  
  
"I can't help my stupidity." He said.  
  
"Damnation, you can't?" I joked, "What chance has our child got?"  
  
"None." He said flatly.  
  
"I'm glad." I replied.  
  
"Tea's ready!" Came a call.  
  
"I've got to go, Sirius, bye." I said.  
  
"Bye." He said. "I'll call you later."  
  
"Ok, bye." I said, and hung up.  
  
*****  
  
Almost two weeks later Sirius still, apparently, found another arrangement, so I had no choice but to go back to my darling, supportive, mother. Oh, the thrills!   
  
Lily's mum drove me back the Friday before the end of the Easter holidays. She came in with me. When my mum opened the door she eyed me sadly. She couldn't blame me for being worried! I'd phoned her as soon as I got to Lilys, saying where I was. I had two extra bags of baby stuff, and as soon as I'd got in I went to my room, and stayed there for pretty much all the time till the end of the holiday.  
  
That's when extra lessons started.  
  
God, they annoyed me.  
  
This annoying woman called Mrs Jackson (she was a professor, but she thought it was too formal for me to call her that. I though Mrs was too formal as well, but hey, adults have strange notions) came to our house everyday, even bloody weekends, and spent three hours with me doing solid work. The only real improvement on school was that I could sit on the sofa, and I didn't have to wear a uniform. However, I still had to wear very ugly, baggy clothes. Ugh. Being pregnant. Some people.  
  
Anyway, this one time, when she was teaching me potions in the kitchen (no sofas there, dammit), and mum was out at work, and, guess what, and owl flew through the window. Don't know why it was open. Maybe it was fate. Maybe that exists in the world of magic. Anyway, it fluttered in, and it was obviously a school owl, or one from a post office, because it was unremarkable, and boring-looking.  
  
It was either Lily, Kira, or Sirius. Those were the only people who would write to me using a boring school owl. Unless it was some utterly random stranger. That would have been quite fun. But, typically, it wasn't. It was from Sirius.  
  
I opened it curiously, carefully hiding the contents from the view of Mrs Jackson, who was peering at it nosily.  
  
Dear Chloe  
  
How is it going at home? I'm sorry you had to go back there, but I couldn't find anywhere else. How are the extra lessons going? Who exactly's teaching you, because me, and Remus were wondering. Is it school teachers? Or some random person nobody knows? Do you think they'll teach you enough to pass your exams? When are you doing those? Do you want me to stop asking questions? Tough luck.  
  
Did you get any stuff for the baby, because I'm wondering what we need. If you tell me I'll ask my mum to help get the rest of the stuff. Or at least tell me what else we'll need.  
  
Ok, back on the subject of names. Any improvment on Jordan for a boy? And where did we get to on girls? Ruby? That's not a bad name. My low brain-power is preventing me from thinking of any others, I'm afraid. Apart from Angelina for some reason. What about Angelina? Too weird? I don't know.  
  
Not much is happening at Hogwarts. The teachers are going on about exams, and how important they are, but not really teaching us anything, foolishly enough. So far all I've learnt this term is that Students are supposed to be silent in the entrance hall when there are exams in the Great Hall. I don't remember anyone telling us about that, or caring one little bit about it before.  
  
Also, Lily and James are going out. Since tuesday. I'm counting the days till he breaks her tiny little heart. (Seriously, she's absolutely mini, isn't she).  
  
Anyway, I hope you appreciate this fine letter I'm sending you, and are not too shocked by it's contents (I though James and Lily were never going to get round to going out), and I will now say "Goodbye!"  
  
Goodbye  
  
There you go.  
  
Love Sirius  
  
Wow. That happened very suddenly without me being at all aware. Lily and James going out! It had only been a week on Monday that term had started.  
  
Shocking. Truly shocking.  
  
Anyway, the letter successfully got me out of having to make the potion for five minutes. It was rather hard to read Sirius's messy handwriting. And he should really have learnt to spell while he had the chance.  
  
Tough toodles Sirius, old pal.  
  
Angelina..... maybe. I think I preferred Ruby though. Wow. A child named after Lily's cat. Bet she'd be proud. Exceedingly so.  
  
Oh well, I'd write to him later.  
  
*****  
  
AN: Crap ending. Go home.  
  
Anyway. I finally finished the chapter! Sorry it's so late. I suddenly realised there was a strong possibitly my plot would be ruined when OotP came out. So I thought "Hup to! Write write write! You have a month!"  
  
Yes. Anyway. Reveiwers:  
  
freakyfroggurl22: sorry it's late.  
  
KeeperOfTheMoon: not anymore.....  
  
Annoriel: Oof. Wait how long has it been since I updated.....? 6 days..... woooOOOooo.  
  
starblaze: YEY! Nice review.  
  
Jo: Ok. - person is teaching me things.  
  
Sam: NO! You read through my cunning plan. You know, it could be Paula.....  
  
Child Of The Wolves: That's coz I'm perfect.  
  
Rampage786: Claires can. You don't know Claire. Well you may do..... I don't know. Shut up mai.  
  
Lexi Black: End of June  
  
bertiebottsgeorge: Perfection. That's me.  
  
Lainz: Its because if Chloe wasn't pregnant she wouldn't have had to spend that whole pound to phone Lily.  
  
Thankyou everyone! - Mai :) 


	22. Sirius, the One with a Cruel Sense of Hu...

Denial  
  
Chapter twenty-two - Sirius, the One with a Cruel Sense of Humor  
  
*****  
  
Dear Sirius,  
  
Thanks for your letter. Got me out of five minutes of potions with teacher from hell, so that was happy. It's not a teacher from school, it's this random woman called Mrs Jackson who teaches me everything, and she's really creepy. And old. And you should see what she wears *involuntary shudder*. And the make-up! Ugh. It's horrible.  
  
You know I only have three weeks till my exams. You have twice that amount.  
  
Oh my God! Lily and James going out! Did Lily ask him out or something? Don't tell ANYONE I told you this, but Lily's fancied James for ages. At least since November. Some people, eh?   
  
So who are you currently going out with? Holly? Michelle? Or Charlotte? Or is it some other random girl you picked up off the street.  
  
Maybe I'm being a little too harsh.  
  
Anyway, me, Lily, and Kira, have a load of clothes, and a buggy. Cot could be good. And a carry thing which you strap to yourself, and they sit in.  
  
Names. Hmmm. Do you like Fenella? Jake? Or should we stick with Ruby and Jordan? Lauren? Toby? Ben? I don't know. You choose  
  
Or do we want our childs name to *mean* something? No? Ok, then. As long as it doesn't mean prostitute or anything. That's just cruel. It would be cruel if there *were* any names meaning prostitute.  
  
So Roxanne's ruled out, her being a famous prostitute and everything.  
  
Regan?  
  
I just thought of it.  
  
Anyway, I must leave you now, to 'revise for my exams' - I'll pass the ones I was going to pass anyway. This may rule out potions, and Ancient Runes. Though possibly not the latter.  
  
Anyway, bye bye (You were very successful at managing to say 'Goodbye').  
  
Love Chloe  
  
PS. Yes. Stop asking questions.  
  
*****  
  
Dear Chloe  
  
Prostitute. Hah! I'd laugh so hard.....  
  
You're right. It's cruel. *nods solemnly*.  
  
Mrs Jackson, eh? What exactly are her clothes and make-up like. They sound funny. I want to laugh at her. And how can she know about all the subjects? And why do you call her mrs?  
  
No I won't stop asking questions. I may have to ask some foolish ones, just to annoy you. In fact, I will.....  
  
Why am I so damn sexy? So irresistable to the ladies? So utterly charming? Such a comic genius? So perfect in everyway? And by the way, I have no girlfriend at the moment. I'm even telling the truth. You should be very grateful. I hardly ever tell the truth.  
  
Wow. There's only one person I've fancied solidly for longer than since November. Shocking!  
  
And names, huh? Names. You want to discuss *names* with me!? Fine, go ahead. See if I care. Regan, eh? Jordan. Regan. Jordan. Regan. I don't know. Fenella. Ruby. I'm thinking Ruby still.  
  
I'm not good with choosing names. I've never done it before.  
  
Prostitute. Ha.  
  
Write back.  
  
Love Sirius  
  
*****  
  
Dear Sirius,  
  
Trust you to only think about prostitutes the whole way through. Sex mad man. Ok, you know when you said you have no girlfriend? Say it again, this time telling the truth. *sticks tongue out*. Fool.  
  
Ok, answers to questions:  
  
Yes, Mrs Jackson.  
  
Terrible. Bright pink lipstick, with cheap pink eye shadow and blue eyeliner several inches thick. A square shoulder red blazer type thing, and black drainpipes. It's beyond mortifying.  
  
I have no idea how she knows about all the subjects. Perhaps she's magic.  
  
She thinks professor's too formal (?)  
  
You're sexy because God liked you when you were born.  
  
Irresistible because you're sexy.  
  
Charming because..... you're not charming, fool!  
  
Comic Genius because you're such a fool.  
  
Not perfect, I'm the perfect one around here.  
  
Yes, names.  
  
I do want to discuss them.  
  
Regan. That's what I said.  
  
There are your answers. Enjoy them thoroughly.  
  
Ok, now I have some questions. Why do you ask so many questions? What does it achieve? Sexual pleasures? And can I flatten your spikes please? I feel like squashing something.  
  
And we've got absolutely no where with names.....  
  
Una, Regina, Darcia, Philomena, Alludra  
  
Elder, Leo, God I can't think of any.  
  
These may be better for middle names..... do you not think? No you don't. I forgot. You have no brain.  
  
Ok. Will go now. Goodbye.  
  
Love Chloe  
  
*****  
  
Dear Chloe  
  
Oo yey! My turn to answer questions. This is a fun system, do you not think?:  
  
I was badly telling the truth! I don't have a girlfriend. Many admirers, but they only get to look, not touch :).  
  
I ask questions because I'm curious to know. *nods solemnly* Yes. That's it.  
  
It achieves knoledge.  
  
And sexual pleasure, yes.  
  
And no, DON'T YOU DARE TOUCH MY SPIKES! THEY'RE FAR TOO PRECIOUS!  
  
You're correct, I don't think, but yes, middle names, probably.  
  
Other comments from the irresistably sexy one:  
  
I'm irresistably sexy, don't you dare deny it.  
  
You're teacher sounds VERY amusing. I wish I had her.  
  
Now, my questions:  
  
How's your mum being through all this? Is she helping at all? Are you worried about your exams? What about Sirius Jr? Or Ewan Jr? Good aren't they? Which do you prefer out of Jordan and Regan? Oo. If it's a girl we could call it Regan Regina to really annoy it (Regan's a girl's name too) or Regina Regan. Class. Pure class. I am fantastic. Amazing. Brilliant. Don't you ever doubt it.  
  
Anyway, look after yourself,  
  
Love Sirius  
  
*****  
  
Dear Sirius  
  
My exams start tomorrow. I'll tell you how they go afterwards. After that it's only a matter of a couple of weeks before the birth. NOOOOOOOOOOOO! It's getting to the stage where I can't even walk. I can waddle. I look like a fool though. And I can write with the paper resting on my huge belly. Oh the thrills.  
  
I deny that you are irresistibly sexy. Tis a lie, I tell you! You're in a state of denial.  
  
Mrs Jackson is not very amusing, she is very frustrating.  
  
And I WANT to flatten your spikes. You'd look so funny. *points and laughs*.  
  
Ok, my mother is being annoying, but bearable, and we've kind of forgotten about the abortion thing, but our relationship is dodgy. She's kind of helping ish. Yeah. A bit.  
  
I'm not worried much about the exams themselves, they're just exams, but I'm worried I may die of boredom, or some such desease.  
  
Sirius or Ewan Junior are OUT! As are Chloe, and Phillipa (my middle name in case you don't remember). And, no they are NOT good. Neither is Regan Regina or Regina Regan.  
  
I am very much doubting how "Classy, fantastic, amazing, and brilliant" you are.  
  
Jordan? Regan? I don't know. Maybe I'll try looking for some more.  
  
Anyway, till you're next letter, I bid you farewell.  
  
Love Chloe  
  
*****  
  
AN: There you go. Hope you aren't too bored by readig letter after letter, because there will probably be more I'm afraid. Not till Saturday though. I'm going to London today! I text Ben, telling him, and then remembered he lived in London, so he would be in no way impressed. Then Toby warned me that now I'd done that he'd probably come to the station and welcome me off the train saying "Hello Darling" in a camp voice (because that's how he speaks).  
  
Anyway, shut up Mai. They don't need to know your whole personal life.  
  
Anywway. I'm going very soon, so no time for thankyous, but thanks to everyone who reviewed.  
  
Lily's parts are spell checked, Sirius's aren't because Lily mentioned before how terrible at spelling he was.  
  
Anyway. Please review, so I can come back from London, get on my computer, and go YEY! 500 REVIEWS! Or 10 would do. I want to get to 200 people! 200 is your aim!  
  
Ok, love you all - Mai :) 


	23. Sirius, the Father

Denial  
  
Chapter twenty three - Sirius, the Father  
  
*****  
  
"Congratulations Chloe, it's a Girl." The midwife, Sophie said to me, passing me this tiny little baby, which had just chosen to push it's way out of me (trust me. Never get pregnant. Ever!). It had been many hours since I'd gone into labour, and I was wondering how long it took for the bloody owl to get to Hogwarts, and why they hadn't just flooed there to get Sirius, after all he was the father, but he hadn't turned up yet. At least my mother was here. At least she still had enough motherly love of her only daughter to let me break every last bone in her hand (quite probably).  
  
I cradled my daughter (girl! I had a baby girl!) in my arms, and looked at her tiny little nose, and ears, and mouth, and red lips, and beautiful eyelids (didn't have the courtesy to open her eyes). And held her tiny hands with my fingers (my god, they're big, compared to her), and stroked her head. God she was beautiful.  
  
The peace, and beauty of the moment, however, was broken by a man suddenly appearing in the middle of the room (luckily we were at Mungo's), and promptly falling over, crashing into several things, and making a large amount of loud noises in the process, causing my daughter to cry.  
  
It had to be Sirius, didn't it. What a way to make an entrance.  
  
Suddenly Dumbledore appeared at his side.  
  
"In future try to control yourself, Mr Black. We don't want you apparating without a license again, do we?" He said to Sirius, sternly, yet still smiling. Sirius wasn't exactly listening though. He'd jumped up, and was walking swiftly over to the bed. "And may I congratulate you both on your new daughter." Dumbledore said, before disappearing again, with a faint pop.  
  
Sirius peered down at our little girl. Slowly he reached his hand forward to run a finger down her cheek. He reapeated the action again and again, until Sophie said "Do you think Sirius would like to hold the baby?"  
  
Sirius glanced at her, then at me, before reaching down to our daughter. I lifted her up, still with her screaming her little head off, to give to him. He brought her in to cradle her in his arms, and gradually, with much rocking, and "Shhhhh"-ing, he got her to stop crying, and go to sleep.  
  
"What are we calling her?" He asked, still staring at her, awefilled.  
  
I shrugged, and dropped back onto the pillows, worn out. "We got to Ruby, and someone mentioned Angelina? Regina? Lauren, was that there?"  
  
"Lauren?" He wondered, out loud, "I'm still liking Ruby."  
  
"You really like that name, don't you." I said.  
  
"Yeah, it's a good name!" He said defensively.  
  
"If you say so." I said, dryly. There was a pause. "No, it's not bad. Are we going with that then?" He looked at me pleadingly. "Take that as a yes, middle name?"  
  
"You choose." He said. "I chose Ruby."  
  
"Yeah, but I suggested it." I said. I didn't have enough energy to think of a middle name. I thought back to our letters. "Not Regina. Well it could be, but then it kind of over does it on the alliteration."  
  
"Ruby Regina Black" Sirius said thoughtfully. "Not really."  
  
"Darcia?"  
  
"Ruby Darcia Black....." He said, staring at the baby's face. "Doesn't run well."  
  
"That's what I was thinking." I commented. "Philomena?"  
  
"No." He said, quite certainly. I suppose it was similar to Phoebe, and he didn't like that name. "Not Una, either."  
  
"Hey, I'm supposed to be choosing this name." I said.  
  
"Sorry." He said, "Just, I don't like Una."  
  
"Me neither." I said. I didn't.  
  
"Why did you suggest it then?"  
  
"I don't know." I said loudly. I wanted him to shut up about the damn Una thing. It didn't matter. What I did want was a hug. I hadn't had one yet. I also noticed at that point that my mother had been eyeing us interestedly the whole time. I also wanted my baby back. After a pause I whispered "Alludra?" Ruby Alludra Black.  
  
Sirius thought about it. "Ok, Alludra" He said finally.  
  
"Now can I have Ruby back?" I asked, using her name for the first time.  
  
"Ok, here she is." Sirius said gently, passing her down. I rocked her for a few short minutes before I heard the door opening, and saw five teenagers tiptoe into the room.  
  
"Is it called Esmerelda?" Lily cooed softly, coming to look at it.  
  
"Thank God, no. It's called Ruby, after your cat." I said.  
  
"We named it after a cat?" Sirius asked "But Sirius is a dog, and they're enemies, and you can't do that to me." he whined, half jokingly.  
  
"I was just trying to soften the blow for Lily." I explained, also half joking.  
  
"What are it's middle names?" Lily asked.  
  
"Alludra." I said.  
  
"Only one!" She cried, a little too loudly.  
  
"Calm down Lily, most people only have one. Unfortunately for myself, I have none." Kira said.  
  
"Well," Lily said, looking disappointed. "At least you took my suggestion of Alludra."  
  
"You suggested Alludra?" I asked, quite confused.  
  
"Of course she did, where else would you find such a strange name, but in Lily's mind?" Kira asked.  
  
"Hey, Lily?" James cut in. "It doesn't really matter all that much." He walked over and put an arm around her.  
  
"Yes it does. Everything's in the name!" Lily said, almost hysterically. Strange how she can get herself so worked up about things.  
  
"Well, they've chosen the name. Just calm down, Lily" He planted a kiss on her cheek. She swiveled and returned it. I simply gazed at them jealously. I glanced at Kira, and she was doing the same. The gazey thing. Some people just have it all, don't they. The boyfriend, the..... boyfriend, the boyfriend.  
  
Well, it was only James, nice as he was, he wasn't exactly boyfriend material, for me at least. I wouldn't have been surprised if he was gay. But apparently he wasn't, so there you go.  
  
Then suddenly my mother said practically the first words she'd said the whole time. "Can I hold Ruby?" Her voice was slightly shaky, and she looked doubtful as to whether I would actually let her or not, but I used my small amount of strength to hold Ruby up for her to take. "She's so beautiful." Mum muttered, "Like you were. And so little." She sighed. "Oh, she's gorgeous."  
  
It looked like Ruby had been accepted into the family.  
  
*****  
  
A/N: There you go: Ruby. Sorry if you have any serious objections. Ok, people I asked for ten reveiws, I got nine. I call it simply rude :P. But, thankyous:  
  
LuNaMoOn: Well, I stopped doing it anyway. I wanted to get the story moving along.  
  
anon: Yes, I know, I'm fantastic.  
  
Bob the Invincible Elf: Toby found your name hilarious. This is praise indeed.  
  
oOo-Sirius-oOo: I'd estimate about ten, but it's bound to be either loads more, or loads less. At least five, though. At most fifteen. Yeah. Loads. I know.  
  
freakyfroggurl22: It's only four more now. COME ON PEOPLE! FOUR REVIEWS!  
  
Lj: Neehe. They wil..... eventually, and I'm very tempted to reveal the whol plot on the spot, but I won't, because I have some self control left.  
  
Child Of The Wolves: No you're not, you review all the time. Good reviews. Nice reviews. And it doesn't suck being perfect, because if you've heard Oasis too many times you'll know that perfection has to be imperfect. But I'm still perfect.  
  
Annoriel: Ok. People liked the letters. Yeah. 500 reveiws *dreams of getting another 300 reviews*. Quite unlikely, unless I do another 30 chapters. I could try it.  
  
underscore: my camouflage partner of greatness (don't ask) monty (montague. I laugh), wrote a poem about being happy. It went:  
  
Happy happy happy  
  
Happy happy happy  
  
Happy happy happy  
  
Happy happy happy  
  
Happy happy happy  
  
Happy happy happy  
  
DEATH happy happy  
  
Happy happy happy  
  
That was when he was very bored, and found a type writer backstage, while we were rehearsing for the school musical.  
  
Anyway. On the James matter. That was Chloe talking there, not me. James is almost as fit as Sirius, in a very distant kind of way (I mean, come on, is Harry particularly fit?) For the purplose of L/Js, of course James is the fittest guy in the world. But in this case, no. And I would like to point out at this point that my favourites list is made of almost complete L/Js.  
  
And I'm diggeng a whole depper, and deeper, and deeperd, and dee.....  
  
Anyway, keep reviewing :D, and I love you all - Mai 


	24. Sirius, the Fool

Denial  
  
Chapter Twenty-four - Sirius, the Fool  
  
*****  
  
I was out of Hogwarts. I was never going back there. And it was a great birthday present, I can asure you, when I found out on the 12th of July (two days before my birthday), that I couldn't go back because of Ruby. I'd lost my friends, I'd lost Sirius, I'd lost the coolness of Hogwarts in general, because of Ruby. I would have damned her to hell and damnation, had I not loved her too much. I hadn't even got to properly leave, and graduate. Instead I was going to be privately tutored. Guess what. Mrs Jackson. Again. Two whole years!  
  
I'd forced Lily and Kira to promise to ask Dumbledore if I could come down for our sixth form ball (In seventh year. Logical, no?) in our last year, and meet everyone again, and I fully intended to still see Lily and Kira in the holidays. I had to keep contact with Sirius, and he probably wouldn't have let me stop anyway, because he loved Ruby so much too. It was made that much easier by the fact that James and Lily were going out, and I was hoping they weren't going to stop any time soon.  
  
And so gradually the months passed me by. I started preparing for my NEWTs with Mrs Jackson, while my friends did it at school. I was doing Charms, Defense against the Dark Arts, Astronomy, and Ancient Runes. Wasn't sure what career I could get out of them, but they were my better subjects.  
  
Ruby gradually got older and older, took her first step, said her first word ("Quack". Don't ask. Perhaps she was a duck in her last life) And grew, and grew, and grew, and grew. And used an extraordinary amount of nappies [diapers]. And really it did seem only yesterday that I was squishing my mothers hand to pieces, and screaming my head off as she fought her way out of me (AN: Wait, it was! Sorry. Won't interrupt again *hides*).  
  
Sirius came to see her every holiday, as well as the rest of the FBC, Lily and Kira.  
  
I started seeing my old muggle friends, from primary school, and some of their new friends a lot more. I told them the truth, more or less. That my boarding school couldn't look after a baby, so I'd had to leave, and now I was being tutored at home. I made up some excuse about my mum not trusting me around boys any more so I couldn't go to the comprehensive school.  
  
Slowly the year passed. Ruby had her first birthday, I had my seventeenth, and all my old friends began seventh year. They had fun, and humour, and grief, and love, all without me, but I still got to go to the sixth form leaving ball!  
  
Three weeks before Lily owled me to ask if I could possibly come to Hogsmead with them so we could get dress robes together. She said that James (who apparently lived the other side of Birmingham) had said I could floo there from his house. It seemed a wiser, and cheaper option than going down to London, and getting the train all the way up to Scotland, so I asked my darling mother if I could, and if she would baby sit, and she agreed.  
  
The next weekend on Saturday morning, I took the bus into the centre of town, and another one out to where James lived. I was met there by his parents who welcomed me in, and kindly gave me some floo powder to get to the Three Broomsticks, to meet everyone. I hadn't been around Lily and Kira much since they became really good friends with the FBC, so it was quite strange when I saw James, Sirius, Remus, and Peter standing behind them, though not all that shocking.  
  
"You didn't bring Ruby." Lily said disappointedly. Sirius looked very disappointed as well.  
  
"Don't know how she'd have coped with flooing." I said, stepping into the room, "Or how James's parents would have coped with her."  
  
"Two very good points." Kira pointed out. "And I'm sure babies are very useful when shopping as well."  
  
"That doesn't make any sense." Remus said, frowning.  
  
"Big woopsies. Come one people. Dress robe shopping time." Kira replied, dragging me and Lily out of the shop to Madam Malkin's.  
  
Once inside, and upstairs (Lady's Formal Wear) we searched along racks, and racks of robes in various colours, materials, and sizes. I found a cool black one, and a dark red one with black see-through material over the top, that I liked, and wanted to try on. Lily found about five, but we forced her to put a couple back. She ended up with a pearly white one, a blue one, and a sea green one. Kira found a periwinkle blue one (not as bright as her eyes. Shut UP about the eyes!) and a pinkish coral type one. And we, along with our findings, made our way to the fitting rooms, to try on our potential dress robes.  
  
I eventually decided on the dark red one. It was slightly gothic looking, with a gathered part for the breasts (huge as they are), and a tight fitting waist, with off-the-shoulder flared sleeves, and a slightly puffed out skirt. It was tied at the back with a black silk ribbon. Lily told me it looked exotic with my naturally-tanned (Hah!) skin. I disagreed. It wasn't a very exotically designed dress.  
  
Lily chose the white dress robes. Her hair next to the pearly fabric was a shocking dark red. I was quite envious of it for a moment. It had a simply, but very fitted design, which Lily managed to improve even more with a lacey, shimmering shawl.  
  
Kira (after much debate) decided on the coral robes. I was quite disappointed as I was the only one in a dark colour, but then she pointed out that if she'd gone with blue we'd look rather like the clichéd 'Red, White, and Blue' and so, I agreed, she could where her stangely coloured pinky-white robes (with much lace, beads, and trimmings).  
  
At least an hour later we emerged into the bright daylight of Hogsmead, with our purchases in large bags in our hands. We went back to the Three Broomsticks where, apparently, we had agreed to meet the guys afterwards (though I do not remember this conversation).  
  
When we got there we found the four boys sitting round a table, casually sipping beers. This was the good thing about being in seventh year. That was the year you became eighteen, and you didn't have to stick to butter beer. It gets tedious after the initial thrill in third year. Admittedly I wasn't 18 for another month, but like the bar knew that.  
  
Lily went over to get us three Baileys, while me and Kira went to sit down. I sat next to Sirius, and Kira sat next to me.  
  
"How are you?" Sirius asked me.  
  
"Ok." I said, shrugging.  
  
"And Ruby?"  
  
"Fine." I replied. Been fine since her second birthday two weeks ago which you came to." I said pointedly.  
  
"Her condition could have deteriorated rapidly." Sirius said, defensively,  
  
"Oh my God six syllables." I said, sitting up quickly. and staring at Sirius in surprise.  
  
"Actually I got it from a book." He said.  
  
"A BOOK?" I demanded.  
  
"Yeah, Sirius has read a book." James told me.  
  
"Never would have thought it possible." I muttered leaning back on the chair.  
  
"I'm Sirius Black." Sirius drawled, putting an arm around me. "Anything's possible." He said in a deep voice. He gave me a quirky grin, and took a sip from his beer bottle.  
  
"I'm sitting next to a lunatic." I said calmly.  
  
"Oh my God!" Sirius said, slamming his beer down. "You mean Kira's- Kira's a-" Sirius pretended to stutter, "Lu-Loo-Lunatic!?"  
  
I blinked, then nodded. "Yes. Yes, she is."  
  
"Eurgh! Get her away from me." Sirius said, standing up on the couch, and trying to drag me with him, before tripping over Peter backwards, and falling with a thud.  
  
I couldn't help it. I burst out laughing. Kira snorted, and collapsed on top of me, shaking with silent hysterics. I wiped some tears of mirth from my eyes.  
  
"What have I missed?" Lily said, coming over with drinks. Once I could breath I replied.  
  
"Just the funniest thing I've seen in two years. Sirius hasn't lost his charm, you know."  
  
"Oh, dear. What did he do?" Lily asked, taking a seat next to James who was also laughing quite a bit.  
  
"He- He-" I tried, before bursting out with laughter, shortly followed by Kira.  
  
"Basically he fell over." Remus explained.  
  
"Yeah, over me." Peter said indignantly.  
  
"It was quite funny though." Remus said, before swigging down the remainder of Sirius's beer while he was attempting to climb back over Peter without falling over.  
  
"Hey!" Sirius yelled, making a grab for the bottle, and tripping over Peter's knee to crash onto the table, causing the laughter to break out again.  
  
*****  
  
I enjoyed writing that chapter, once I got into it. It's not too short, I hope. And I GOT 200 REVIEWS! THANK YOU PEOPLE!  
  
Yes. Well, I have very serious matters to discuss with you. I need you to tell me before I can write the next chapter, because whatever happens it will begin taking affect then (at the ball, naturally, sorry I'm having one. Most secondry schools have a sixth form ball though.) wether I should end the story in 5 chapters, or around 8 chapters. That's what I've decided the options are. My origional plan made it end in five. My amazing new idea I had around chapter 12 would have made it 8, but now I don't know which to do. I'm not going to reveal the plot, but basically it's a case of:  
  
5 chapters - Happy ever after, till the end.  
  
8 chapters - another crisis, which is overcome before happy ever after till the end.  
  
Your choice people. I would love it, and love you forever if you everyone who reviewed gave me an answer, even if it's that you don't really mind, or what you think are the pros and cons of each way (that would take thought though. You don't have to do that).  
  
But now: Thank yous:  
  
freakyfroggurl22: oo yey. Skittles. I demand my skittles. I have updated only a day after the last time. I deserve them. Truly I do.  
  
astrid: I have. Here's a new chapter.  
  
LuNaMoOn: Slight difference from "Sirius, the Father, Damn Him!"  
  
Child Of The Wolves: No, it didn't make any sense, but still it was quite an enjoyable review, so yes, I did like it. Anmd I don't try, unless I want to. That is part of my perfection. And no, not 20 chapters, sorry. 8 or 5, it's your choice. 8 could be extended. 5 couldn't ;)  
  
Jo: Yes! Very true. Read Jo's review, people.  
  
The Elfin Child: Yesh. Ruby. Now she's two. (whoosh).  
  
icyfire: yes aw-ish-ey. I'm sure. *smiles and nods* :D  
  
oOo-Sirius-oOo: you have now read more, and must answer my question (8 or 5) before you can read any MORE of my fantastic master piece. Answer question!  
  
Bob the invincible elf: You reviewed, just while I was writing these. Hopefully you will read this tonight. Possibly you won't.  
  
-Mai  
  
EIGHT or FIVE! 


	25. Sirius, the Neglecter of the Inevitable

Denial  
  
Chapter twenty-five - Sirius, the Neglecter of the Inevitable  
  
*****  
  
The afternoon of the ball I returned to Hogwarts (freaky) and spent the afternoon, back where I belonged (Gryffindor Tower), preparing for a spectacular ball, where my Prince Charming would whisk me away from the crapness that is life. Then again it's a two out of three chance that I'm one of the ugly sisters. Hey-ho, I'm sure I'll survive. At least I'll have a lot of money.  
  
What they hell am I talking about?  
  
Anyway, back on the subject of the ball, I was ..... dateless! Yes, it's true. I, the beautiful Chloe Stone, had no date for the evening. Shocking, no?  
  
I would have gone with any of the guy type people, but no such luck. James, and Lily were going together (two years and STILL going out, how do they do it?). Sirius was going with his girlfriend (the one he..... neglected to tell me he had), Remus had been asked by Holly, when Sirius couldn't go with her (and he'd agreed for some foolish reason), and Kira and Peter were going together, because neither of them had dates, and they both lived in Hogwarts, and I didn't.  
  
It sucked really. But at least it meant I didn't have to stick with one person (hehe, slut Chloe emerges from the deep). It was just a question of finding someone to dance with in the first place. Why are there so few people in each year? Answer me that! I may have to dance with Kira.  
  
Two hours before the ball me, Kira, and Lily all started getting ready in their dormitory (now they only had Mya and Ellissa for company. Hah!). Shortly we were joined by none other than..... Mya and Ellissa!  
  
"Should we do hair and make-up first? Or dresses?" Lily asked.  
  
"Well, if we do hair first we might mess it up when we put the robes on." I said.  
  
"But, if we do dresses first they'll probabl;y get messed up." Kira pointed out.  
  
"Yeees. Slight difficulty, that." Lily said, stroking her chin.  
  
"She has an imaginary beard." Kira whispered to me, "I think she picked the habbit up off James."  
  
"James has a beard?" I asked.  
  
"He has an imaginary one too." Kira replied, still whispering.  
  
"Were you talking about me?" Lily asked, taking out her make-up.  
  
"Not at all." Kira said, smoothly.  
  
"So what's the 'hot goss'?" She asked, placing a hand on her hip.  
  
"Well, I heard," Kira began, gathering us into a ring, "that Lily and James, were..... sleeping together!"  
  
"Oh my god! Really?" Lily said, stepping back in mock surprise.  
  
"Yeah. There are rumours all over the school about the size of James's you know what."  
  
"Well, you wanna know what I've heard?" Lily said, joining us again, "Three inches." We laughed for a while before Lily said, "So, what if we do make-up, dress robes, then hair. That way we should avoid as much messing up as possible."  
  
"Good plan." I said, before going over to Lily's bedside table and inspecting the make-up on there. There were three eyeshadow boxes (among others) that caught my eye. Same make, and content, except one was pink, one was blue, and one was brown. "Ok, why don't we do, me brown, Lily blue, and Kira pink." I suggested, positioning each container so it was on the edge of the table by the respective person.  
  
"What about that way round?" Lily said, switching the pink and blue.  
  
"I don't know." I said, "Kira should have pink to go with her dress."  
  
"Good point." Lily said, switching them back.  
  
"But you can have pink as well if you want. I can be the odd one out... AGAIN."  
  
"Good good." Said Lily, putting the pink in the middle of her and Kira, and the blue back with the other stuff. "And if it doesn't work out we can remove it and change it. We have plenty of time for errors."  
  
"Bon idée." I said, taking Lily's arm, and pulling her across the room, along with a chair, to sit her down in the middle. "Right." I said, "You don't get to look until we've finished."  
  
"Oh, but I want to." She whined in a baby voice.  
  
"But it spoils the fun." I said.  
  
"Fine, see if I care." She said, crossing her arms.  
  
Pink and white eye shadow, shiny pink lip gloss, mascara, eyeliner, and foundation. She looked pretty good, if I do say so myself. Of course Kira helped *cough* did most of it *cough*.  
  
I was next, and when I looked in the mirror I saw they'd managed to somehow entwine gothicicity, and easterness, to make me this kind of..... weird, but cool person. Looked better once I had the dress on.  
  
Kira we did with light pink eyeshadow, a light blush, very glossy lipgloss, and general other things. Yeah. Another work of genious.  
  
Hair was just as good. I straightened Lily's, she made mine wavy (hair trade), and Kira had some darker brown dye which we used to make her into a brunette.  
  
And then with our beautiful dresses on we would obviously be the belles of the ball. Or the better-looking Gryffindor girls at least. Mya and Ellissa? Pfff. We were much better than them. They were just in a state of denial. God. Some people.  
  
We left the common room at 8 o'clock (when the ball was supposed to start. Fasionably late, of course). We entered the hall where music was already playing gently, and looked around for the boys. As soon as Lily caught site of James she rushed over, exclaiming over his robes, and good he looked in them. Sirius was standing next to him, holding the hand of his girlfriend (Jessica Simmons, sixth year Gryffindor). She had a rather stunning red dress on, which contrasted greatly with Sirius's simple black robe.  
  
"You look great, all of you." He said. "Like the hair." He grinned and fingered a piece of hair which was swept across my face. I smiled at Jessica politely (I'd never liked sixth years. Not that they'd ever been sixth years before. Last I'd heard they were still fourth years. Suppose that's what come of leaving school). "Is Ruby still fine?" Sirius asked.  
  
"God, Sirius, it's been a week. And I would have told you if she wasn't."  
  
"Ruby?" Jessica asked, raising her eyebrows at Sirius slightly. I grinned.  
  
"What an honest relationship you have Sirius!" I said brightly.  
  
Sirius rolled his eyes at Jessica, "I told you about Ruby. I told you it was Chloe." He said, smiling.  
  
"Oh," she said, "Yeah. God, my memory's terrible." She shook her head. "Wanna dance, Sirius?" She asked.  
  
"Sure." He said, linking arms with her.  
  
"Dance with me later?" I said challengingly.  
  
"Oooooooo." Sirius said thinking. "I may be fully booked, let me check my diary." He paused for a while, thinking, "Yeah, I think I can squeaze one in there, later, all right?"  
  
"Fine." I said, smirking. So full of himself. He took Jessica over to the dance floor, winking at me. I resisted the urge to yell "You haven't got her pregnant as well, have you?" I turned back to Kira, Peter and Remus (Lily and James had disappeared somewhere). "How long have they been together?" I asked, curiously.  
  
"Um..... like six months." Kira said, looking guilty.  
  
"You didn't tell me?" I asked, deflating.  
  
"We were hoping it wouldn't come up." She said, looking down at the floor. I rolled my eyes.  
  
"Hey-ho. Life will go on, I'm sure." I said. "Remus, care for a dance while you wait for your date?"  
  
"Sure." He said, glancing at the door.  
  
"Don't worry, I'll give you up as soon as she comes in." I said, as we began to waltz.  
  
Soon whoever-Remus's-girlfriend-was appeared, and I returned to the edge with Peter and Kira. They were sitting, talking, and drinking stuff.  
  
"Who's going to come with me while I get a drink?" I asked. "No one? Fine, see if I care." I walked round the edge of the hall, looking at all the little fairies lighting it up, till I reached the drinks table. Sirius was dancing nearby with Jessica. I stared at them with what could have been jealousy, and returned to the table to drink my glass of wine.  
  
After at least an hour of talking with Kira, and Peter, and watching people dance I got rather bored, and rather jealous of everyone dancing with people when I wasn't, and because all these people still knew each other, and went to school together, and hadn't just got thrown out two years ago. I almost hated Sirius, but I couldn't find it in me. He was still dancing with Jessica. How can you dance with someone for one hour solid? Eventually they went over to get drinks, and then headed back towards us.  
  
"I promised you a dance, my dear lady." Sirius said, pulling out a seat for Jessica to sit on.  
  
"Oui, Monsieur" I said, standing up and taking his offered hand to follow him onto the dance floor. Luckily for me (but not Jessica, I'm sure) it was a slow song. I put my arms round his neck, and he put his on my hips. We grinned at each other before starting to move round in a small circle. I felt kind of sad. This was badly reminding me of when we had been going out. I stared into space, just above his head (or should I say, spikes).  
  
"You alright, Chloe?" He asked. I shrugged.  
  
"Yeah."  
  
"Oh." He said, drawing me into a hug, but continueing to dance. "Remind you of the old times?" He asked, in a mock-husky voice in my ear. I giggled.  
  
"Kind of." I said, now smiling. He rubbed my back, then drew back again.  
  
"You're sad because Sirius Black is just so sexy, and attractive, and perfet in everyway-"  
  
"That's me." I interrupted.  
  
"Let me finish." He said, "Yes, I'm so sexy, attractive, and perfect, but not as perfect as you," he added quickly, "That you can't bare to be apart from me."  
  
"Dream on." I said, norrowing my eyes. The song finished shortly, and we returned to our table, Sirius for more dancing, and I for another hour's boredom.  
  
Yes, so another hour's bordom later, when I was going to get my fouth drink, I noticed Sirius and Jessica nearby. They were standing in an alcove in the wall. I saw Sirius fumble for something in his pocket, before kneeling down, and taking out a small box. He opened it, and I could see something shining inside, before Jessica gasped. Sirius mouthed something: "Will you marry me?"  
  
*****  
  
AN:Hi.  
  
Well it was YOU who chose eight.  
  
Now you have the consequences.  
  
And I want my slushie (mmm slushie) it's tuesday.  
  
And that review was hilarious, Elfin Child.  
  
Anyway, otherwise my comment to most reviews is basically "All in good time, people, all in good time."  
  
Bye.  
  
(not spell checked). 


	26. Sirius, the Otherwise Engaged

Denial

Chapter 26 – Sirius, the Otherwise Engaged

*****

Did he just ask her to marry him? I frowned. If I'd learnt anything from anything from any divination lesson, it was that Sirius had vowed never to get married. So why…? It could all be a joke. Or staged to annoy and confuse me. The whole relationship could have been for that purpose. Perhaps it was all just a stupid game. But then there had been that woman that Sirius had got married to in the crystal ball. But didn't Peter say that was me? Or at least the same person as the fat person, but that was me. What if it wasn't? What if it was Jessica, pregnant, later on? Oh, I was _so_ confused.

I watched as Jessica took the sparkly thing from the box, and slid it onto her finger. Fourth finger, on her left had. Sirius stood up, smiling, and hugged her, kissing her neck, and hair, and all down her face, till he reached her mouth, where he decided to linger for rather longer than any other place. After what seemed like an hour, the broke apart, and smiled at each other, probably lovingly, but I was beyond caring.

I searched the table for the strongest looking alcoholic drink I could find, and swigged it down in one go. I gulped a couple of times, and closed my eyes, tightly. When I opened them I felt a tear slide out.

Why was I getting worked up? It couldn't be true. Sirius would never sacrifice his teenagerhood to get married. He swore he wouldn't ever, and I was pretty sure he wouldn't. Perhaps he was practising a scene from a play with her, or wanted to trick his friends, or let her down harshly, for whatever reason. Perhaps they wanted to manipulate the fact that I'd left Hogwarts, and utterly confused me, and piss me off, then embarrass me in front of everyone. Well, I wasn't a gullible fool. I was pretty certain they were just faking.

I wiped my eyes, furiously, and slowly made my way back to our table. I sat down heavily, next to Remus, who was watching Holly dance with some random Ravenclaw.

"Lost your date, eh?" I asked.

He shrugged, "Not really. But she's not all that nice, or great anyway." I said, boredly.

"Hey-ho." I said, stealing some of his beer.

"Hey!" He said, pulling it back.

"Sorry, just thirsty." I replied.

"You spent long enough at the drink table." He remarked. I sighed loudly. Just then I saw Lily and James waltz over, (not that it was a waltz playing), laughing together. I eyed, them jealously. They skipped over to the table, and James sat down, pulling Lily onto his lap.

"Hi." I said, tiredly. Lily smiled.

"Is the dance to stressful for mummy Chloe?" She asked, mockingly.

"Piss off." I replied, smiling back. "Anyone want to dance?" I asked, trying to sound uninterested.

"No." James replied immediately, "We need to relax a minute." He said, checking his watch. Something was going on. Was it part of the Sirius engagement joke plan? Apparently, as I saw Sirius and Jessica slowly making their way over, with huge grins on the faces. I saw Sirius wink at James. Sly. James smiled widely, as he caught a glimpse of the ring on Jessica's finger. I was trying to figure out if it was a grin of 'Go Sirius, you're engaged.' Or 'Go Sirius, the plan is working.'

I looked from one to the other, as James called Peter and Kira over, from where they were dancing.

"We're engaged!" Sirius announced, loudly, holding up Jessica's hand, as Kira and Peter reached the table.

"What?" Kira asked, looking very confused. Jessica giggled.

"Sirius asked me to marry him." She said.

"And she said yes!" Sirius said happily.

"Bearing in mind that he's already a father?" I asked Jessica.

"Yeah, yeah." She said, waving her hand. Left hand. She was just rubbing it in, wasn't she?

"I get to be best man." James said, eagerly, sticking his hand in the air.

"Only if I'm best man at yours." Sirius replied.

"Sure." Lily said, grinning. Sirius's eyes widened.

"James," He said, imitating a councillor, "Is there something you're not telling me?" James and Lily both shook their heads, laughing (in a 'no, we were just joking' kind of way).

I returned my gaze to Sirius. In fact, I think I may have started glaring at Sirius. HE looked back at me. "Sorry, I didn't tell you before, Chloe." He apologised. "I just didn't want to hurt you. Or piss you off, you're scary when you're pissed off." He said, almost shyly. I shrugged.

"At least you didn't want to hurt my feelings." I said, dropping my gaze, till I was glaring at the table. I still wasn't sure whether it was a joke, or not, but I didn't want to question it, in case it was serious. Perhaps everyone had become great actors, and they had been carefully rehearsing this scene again, and again, and again. I didn't see why it was worth it, just to piss me off. As Sirius said, I can get scary when I'm angry. Perhaps they wanted extra Halloween entertainment for next year. Perhaps they wanted me to eat Ruby. I don't know.

"Oh, have I really hurt your feelings?" He asked.

I sighed. "No." I replied. How come, whenever I said things like that people took it the wrong way. Like when once he'd said he was going to moan at me, because he was in a bad mood, I knew he meant moan about stuff with me, but the way he phrased it meant I made a small joke out of not wanting him to moan _at_ me, and then he got all apologetic, and said he would moan at someone else instead.

"Oh, I'm sorry." He said, bending down, and giving me a short hug. I mean, what the hell? I'd said he _hadn't_ hurt my feelings. Not that that was true. He had. I wasn't sure why though… did I really care if he had a girlfriend? Was I all that surprised? I mean, the marriage part was surprising, but why did I really care?

Ok. I still liked Sirius. Should have just admitted that in the first place, because it was quite blatantly obvious, but, you know. I still had a thing for Sirius.

*****

AN: There you go. The end kind of stated the obvious, but you'll live, I'm sure. Jessica isn't too young. She's at least 16, and in Scotland that's the legal age. Hogwarts is in Scotland, in case you didn't know. And in England it's 16 with your parent's consent (that's why young'uns from England elope to Scotland to get married)

Hennyhoo, danke schon, mein reviewers. Sorry about the evil cliffhanger, last chapter. I didn't do much more than confirm it this one. It may be more than eight chapters, you know. Except it would be six now, because I've done two. Anyway. REVIEW! Please?

- Love Mai


	27. Sirius, the Bastard, Yep, again

Denial  
  
Chapter 27 - Sirius, the Bastard. Yep, again.  
  
*****  
  
I sighed. So much for joke. So much for not being jealous. Now I had to go back to Ruby knowing that she would never see her mum and dad together, EVER. Oh. Damn. Fine, see if I care. I don't care. I didn't care. It really didn't matter. I could find someone else. I should have. Ages ago. What was the point of hanging on to one bastard guy? None. None at all. Move on and away, Chloe, on and away.  
  
But I was happy for him, and his newfound love. Really I was. I mean, if they were so confident to marry each other, at such a young age, they must really like each other. And it wasn't like all sixth years were SO bad. It was just that tiny amount of immaturity that they had more than me that pissed me off. Sirius was clearly happy. Jessica was happy. James was happy for them, and the others probably were too. And we were still on good terms, so everything was ok.  
  
I just had to remember to breathe, and to ignore any emotion I was feeling, till I was alone. Breathe in, breathe out. What nice weather tonight. In and out. Shame the ball didn't stretch to outside. In and out. But the stars on the ceiling are beautiful. In, and, out.  
  
It wasn't all that hard really. I could do it.  
  
Much later, when I was too tired for words, we finally made our way back to the dormitories. Kira and Remus still seemed wide awake, and were running around, being quit hyper, and probably quite drunk (though I'm sure you're not meant to get hyper when you're drunk, just, kind of, drunk). I lagged at the back, with Peter, behind Lily and Jams, who were leant on each other, whispering together. I get paranoid when people whisper. Finally we walked up the last staircase before the common room on the seventh floor. Kira was lying panting in the middle of the tiled landing, after Remus had been tickling her. I kicked, probably harder than I'd meant to, to get her to stand up. Remus immediately leapt on her again. While sitting on her stomach he said, in a chavvy London accent "Your wife, is she a bit of a goer? Does she like - photographs? Nudge nudge wink wink nudge nudge wink wink, yeah, yeah!" I sighed as I watched how close they'd all become, leaving me behind. Even Kira and Lily were more distant with me, and while they were friends with the FBC, I was just an extra. Like a guest. I couldn't even remember the way to Gryffindor common room properly. There are two really similar passages I used to get confused in my first month of first year, which I got confused again.  
  
Just for one last night they'd added my bed back in. I used to be the middle bed, and it was again. It was strange being back at Hogwarts. It wasn't how it used to be. My bed used to be covered in crap, and it smelled of me, and me and Lily and Kira would talk, until Mya and Ellissa told us to shut up. But it was different. Lily and Kira talked briefly about the homework they had to do for their new astrology teacher, and how much nicer she was than Professor Kemble. Then they started talking about how Tommy in Ravenclaw had been slagging Ellissa off. I didn't even remember Tommy. Well, I did now. Tommy Ganon, I think. Blond guy. Very much up his own arse. Well, as far as I could remember.  
  
As my first tear of loss his the pillow cover Mya and Ellissa came in. Ellissa walked straight over to her bed at the end, but Mya stood still in the middle of the room. Apparently she was trying to figure out whether the second from the end, or the third from the door was her bed. For the past two years these had been the same bed, but now there was one extra I was in the third from the door.  
  
"Oh, yeah, I forgot. Chloe's back. That's well weird." She said, making her way to the bed second from the end, next to Ellissa. Oh God. They hadn't taken to using the word "Well" had they? Why couldn't they say "very" or "really" like any other person. Chavs.  
  
Why did everything have to change? Just then I wished I'd never been pregnant. Never had to leave. Could have just carried on as normal, and be part of everything. I was so disconnected. I had two groups of friends either side. Both pretty much ignoring me.  
  
I couldn't get to sleep until long after everyone else.  
  
*****  
  
And so I returned back to my normal life, did my NEWTs, got my results, passed all but Ancient Runes. Didn't really matter. I got three. That was average. As soon as the summer holidays started there was a party at Sirius's house to celebrate. Various people were there. Including Jessica. They were getting married next summer. Neither me or Kira got to be bridesmaids. Sirius apologized, but he said it was Jessica's choice. Which it was, rightfully, but still! I have his fucking child! She didn't even get to be flower girl. I'm sure a three year old could have managed it. I think Jessica was jealous, me personally.  
  
The party was all right, but still I was the one who didn't fit in. There were a load of sixth years, and few people from other houses there as well. I didn't remember half of them. They remembered me, however. By this time everyone knew I'd been pregnant what with the leaving, and Sirius, and such. It was pretty hard to ignore. It was quite pissy, actually, people asking how Ruby or "your baby" (she's two for God's sake) was. Sirius promised me he'd come up to Birmingham soon to see her, and me, and then he could see James as well.   
  
He was going to start a three-year, intensive course, auror training in October. It didn't sound very intensive. They had really long holidays, and it was mostly lectures, with exercises on various weekends, and stuff. A kind of cross between university, and the army by the sound of it. James was looking for work in the ministry, and meanwhile getting his apparating license. Sirius said he got training for that for free on his auror course. Remus was looking to be a pharmacist. Peter was going to live with his mother for a while, while he found work. Lily was moving into a house with James, and planned on going on a medical course to become a magical GP. Kira was a little lost, but was working as an assistant in Madam Malkin's for now. And I was screwed. So I decided to just stay at home with Ruby for a while, working at the local muggle chemist at the till part-time.  
  
Eventually I found a job as an advertiser. I helped design adverts and mechendise, labels, and stuff, for various magical companies. It was cool because you could put charms on them. I particularly liked glitter. Kira helped me get there, by asking in Madam Malkin's if I could do something like that. In fact, while Lily was off on her course, me and Kira, and few of my muggle friends, and our workmates became quite close (HAH! Whose the outcast NOW Lily?). When Lily came back for Christmas she brought a few medical students with her. I met a very nice man, two years older than me, called Ben (Not Benjamin, Benedict. You've got to laugh). He looked really thin. Well, he was, but when he tensed his muscles… by gum. And he had a natural tan, really dark gray-green eyes, and black hair. We had a bit of a thing going on. Until they all had to go back, to learn about charms which cure rashes. I'm sure I know one of those from my Hogwarts days. Later, in spring, me and Lily decided to move in together. Ruby reached her third birthday on June 23rd, and I reached my nineteenth on July 15th.  
  
Life went pretty swimmingly… until the wedding.  
  
*****  
  
I bet you're all sitting on the edge of your seats, just dying to know more. I'm right, aren't I? AREN'T I?  
  
And I FINALLY got this thing up. I can't believe it. A story I was reading that just got updated for like the first time in 10 months just got updated, and I read, it and it was amazing, and it was just like WRITE THE FUCKING NEXT CHAPTER HELEN! You see, I was so forceful with myself I told you my real name. A thing I never do. So yes, here it is. I'm going to post it, NOW, then come back to write more. Agreed? Agreed.  
  
REVIEW PEOPLE!  
  
- Mai :D 


	28. Sirius, the Married, but for how long?

Denial  
  
Chapter 28 - Sirius, the Married, but for how long?  
  
*****  
  
It was only minutes before the bride would walk through the door, at the back of the small church where the wedding was taking place. Sirius was standing at the front, in long black robes, fidgeting, nervously with his hair. For once it wasn't spiked. He looked extremely odd.  
  
Suddenly the organ started, and we rose, as Jessica walked down the aisle, wearing a beautiful ivory, silk dress. I didn't want a white dress when I got married. I wanted a purple one. I know most people want white, but I wanted purple. I would have wanted red, but that would seem too morbid for a marriage. Jessica looked nervously from one side to the other, with her bridesmaids trailing after her. Two sixth years, and Lily. She smiled at me and Ruby (who was wearing a flowery dress that she'd made for her) as she passed, and they stopped as they came to the alter.  
  
I watched the ceremony with a frown on my face, staring jealously at Sirius and Jessica, as finally Sirius kissed his bride, and carried her out of the church into the courtyard outside. It was drizzling slightly. I think I was the only one who appreciated it.  
  
We got to the reception, and found our seats, for a lovely, yet light, meal, before dancing. Sirius and Jessica started it off, naturally. Lily had brought Ben and some others along. I danced with him, and then he introduced me to his new girlfriend. I returned to my seat, and to Ruby, making a face.  
  
I think she thought we were playing making faces, because she stuck her tongue out at me, and pulled her ears out. I crossed my eyes, and rolled my tongue. She laughed, loudly, her pretty brown eyes sparkling, and scrunched her face up really tight, till you couldn't see any of her features properly. I sat and stared at her.  
  
"Mummy, make face!" She begged.  
  
"Nope." I said. "I'm sorry, but you laugh too loud. Must have got that from your father." I teased her.  
  
"Pleeeeeease?" She whined.  
  
"Nope." I said.  
  
"I pay you." She offered.  
  
"How much do you have?" I challenged.  
  
"Ummmmmmm… 26p" She said, after a moment's thought.  
  
"That's not enough." I said grimly. "I'm afraid you may have to pay me in… TICKLES!" I joked. She shook her head violently, scattering her dark, wavy hair over her flowered shoulders. "No?" I said, acting shocked. "Are you sure?" I said, lunging at her, and tickling her stomach lightly. Eventually she began to shriek with laughter, so I stopped, but Sirius came waltzing over with Jessica in his arms.  
  
"Did I hear my daughter?" He asked, bending down next to her.  
  
"Hello daddy." She said, shyly. Broken homes, you know. Scar kids for life. Of course, I coped with mine quite well. Absolutely fin and dandy in fact.  
  
"Hello." He said. "God she's beautiful." He said, not really to anyone. "She obviously got that from me." He bragged. I tapped him on the shoulder.  
  
"Um, no that was me." I said. "I'm the beautiful one here." Jessica slyly cleared her throat, and Sirius stood up, and took her away to dance again. Seriously, they dance too much.  
  
I looked around vaguely, looking for any decent looking guys. Didn't see many. Anyway. Who would go out with me, seriously? I have a child. Ok, didn't stop Sirius, but he was still at school, with a load of girls he could flirt with, and forget about his daughter with. I was the one looking after her.  
  
But then, shock horror (!), some guy, not bad looking either, came over, and sat at my table.  
  
"Hi." He said.  
  
"Hey." I replied.  
  
"Hello." Ruby said, shyly. The guy chuckled.  
  
"Who are you then?" He asked leaning over to her.  
  
"Ruby." She said, taking hold of my bag strap. He smiled at her.  
  
"She's cute." He said, gesturing to her, "But a pain, I suppose." He said, leaning back in his chair.  
  
I shrugged. "I love her." I said.  
  
"I couldn't stand my little sister when she was that age." He said.  
  
"No," I replied, "Ruby's fine, aren't you?" I asked, taking her hand.  
  
"Yes." She said. "TAG! You're it." she said, skipping off. I sighed. Why did she like this game so much? I jogged after her, and tagged her back. She squealed, and ran over to where the guy was sitting. "TAG!" She said loudly, tagging his thigh.  
  
I staggered round to him on my heels, but before I could get round him to Ruby, he tagged my arm. "Tag." He said, calmly.  
  
"Tag." I said indignantly, tagging his shoulder.  
  
"Tag, no returns." He said, tagging my arm again. I groaned, and went off after Ruby. She dashed off round the table. She slid on the slippery floor, grabbed my chair for support, but came crashing down, on her knees with the chair behind her. Immediately she burst into tears. I sighed again, and bent down to pick her up. The guy grimaced. "Little Sister's, eh?" He said. I smiled weakly, and took Ruby off to the loos, to clean her up.  
  
"He thought we were sisters." I muttered to myself, as I cleaned Ruby up. I sniffed as I dabbed a wet tissue on her slightly grazed knee. Ruby's wails eventually softened to sniffles. "You want to go home?" I asked. She nodded slightly. "Ok."  
  
I went back into the hall where we'd been eating and dancing. I quickly found Kira (maybe her eyes were shining) and told her we were going home. She nodded, and continued chatting to Remus, Lily, and James. I called congratulations to Sirius, and Jessica, Sirius waved at me, then smiled briefly at the random guy, before finding the little room with the fire to floo from.  
  
I put Ruby to bed as soon as I got home (Kira was surprisingly happy about helping to look after her. I reckon she'll make a great mother) and sat in our lounge, with a cup of coffee, waiting for Kira, thinking back to the wedding. Eventually my thoughts lead me back to those predictions Peter made in fifth year divination. I began to replay them in my mind. That girl wasn't me, it was Jessica. And if it was the same girl in both things, the Jessica and Sirius were going to have a baby, at some point. As I went through them I realised that it would have to be soon, because I was sure Sirius would outgrow his spikes eventually, and that was how Peter knew it was him.  
  
No, wait! I swear I could feel my heart stop. In the prediction Sirius had spikes at his wedding, but today he DIDN'T!  
  
*****  
  
Next chapter. Here you go. I'm going to update really quickly now, and spend a lot of time writing. I have to finish this before Order of the Phoenix (YEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEES!!!!!!!!!!) Sorry. I've been waiting THREE YEARS! Oo. I have a SIGNED first edition hardback of Goblet of Fire. This is worth a LOT of money. This makes me happy.  
  
Anyway. Yeah. Here is your next chapter.  
  
Thankyous:  
  
Alex Draco - Yes, that's kinda true.  
  
The Elfin Child - Keep it up with the fun reviews. I updated practically now! I started writing this straight after, and then I finished it before I went to bed, so I could upload it first thing this morning. Here it is, anyway.  
  
I know I didn't give you much time to read the last chapter, but I have to get these up quickly. I'll try to do another tonight, and tomorrow morning, and that night, and so on. Until I realsie there's only a couple of chapters to go. Except theres still the two epilogues to add onto the eight/five chapters. I forgot about them. I like doing two epilogues. It's not my fault (I had two on Save Tonight as well).  
  
Review please people!  
  
- Love Mai 


	29. Sirius, the Born Again ThreeYearOld

Denial  
  
Chapter 29 - Sirius, the Born Again Three-Year-Old  
  
*****  
  
"Hi, Sirius" Finally. He was meant to turn up at seven, but here he was, 9 pm, standing on my doorstep. Just a little late.  
  
"Daddy!" Came a cry from the stairs. Ruby came rushing down them, almost tripping herself up, to finally run into her fathers arms.  
  
"Hi, Ruby." He said, smiling, and rubbing her back. Last time I'd checked, she'd been sound asleep in bed, but no, apparently the arrival of Sirius had woken her up. "How are you my pumpkin pasty?" I rolled my eyes. I didn't get the whole pumpkin pasty thing. Why did he have to be so strange? Ruby, on the other hand, found it rather amusing.  
  
"I'm not a pumpkin pasty!" She scolded him. Sirius gasped, acting shocked.  
  
"You're not?"  
  
"No, silly." Ruby said.  
  
"I could have sworn..." Sirius said, scratching his head. Ruby banged down her hand on his, so his spikes were flattened (STILL going with the spikes.) He gasped more convincingly. "Right, that's it, Little Miss Pumpkin Pasty. You are dead." Ruby shrieked, and scuttled off, down the hallway, past our lovely, mismatching furniture, mostly scrounged from friends, relatives, and skips, and over the slowly disintegrating cork tile in the kitchen. Well, it wasn't like we could afford much. We were like muggle students, i.e. skint.  
  
"Now daddy's here can he help me search for the Halloween treats you hid." Ruby said, jumping up and down.  
  
"Oooooh! Has naughty mummy been hiding your presents?" Sirius asked, Ruby, who nodded vigorously. "Shall good, nice, kind, brilliant daddy help you look?" Ruby nodded again, and pulled him away, to start looking in the cramped kitchen. Like there was any room to hide them in there. I rolled my eyes, as I heard a key being forced, rather roughly into the lock. Kira struggled to open it for a short while, before I turned around to let her in.  
  
"Damn lock, why won't it work properly?" Kira fumed, dropping her shopping by the radiator.  
  
"Maybe you're a little too rough with it." I suggested.  
  
"Maybe we should get a new one." She muttered, putting her key away, and picking up the bags to take them to the kitchen.  
  
"Nuh uh uh." I said, swiftly side stepping in front of her. "You cannot interrupt my daughter's search for her halloween goodies.  
  
"I thought that was for Halloween?" Kira said, dropping the bags again, and staring at the kitchen door, confused.  
  
"It was, then Ruby told Sirius, and it just kind of..."  
  
"Yeah." Kira agreed. She knew what I meant, even if I didn't.  
  
"Though I may have to limit them to just one room tonight." I thought out loud. "Yeeees."  
  
"I thought you didn't put any in the kitchen, anyway." Kira said, frowning.  
  
"Shhh, they don't know that." I whispered, glancing at the half open kitchen door, with Sirius and Ruby inside, tossing everything everywhere. "Oh great. Ruby! Sirius! Just the kitchen tonight, ok? You're supposed to wait till tomorrow."  
  
"Ok," Sirius called back, pulling several packets of biscuits out of one cupboard. Mostly out of date.  
  
"And if you don't find anything by quarter past, you can look again tomorrow." I told them.  
  
"Oh, but that's only 5 minutes." Sirius whined, checking his watch, "I'm having fun." I rolled my eyes again, marched over to him, and whispered in his ear that there was nothing hidden in the kitchen. "Oh! I demand a refund." He said, upon hearing what I had to say.  
  
"Sorry, no refunds after watershed." I said, gathering up the old biscuits, and returning them to their cupboard.  
  
"But that's when I got here!" He complained.  
  
"You were two hours late." I said, going off to get Kira's shopping. "Anyway, you've already turned this place upside down. I'm not that hard a task master."  
  
"Ok, fine." Sirius said, sulkily. "C'mon Ruby. Times up." Actually they still had three minutes to go. Sirius obviously couldn't be bothered, now he knew that there was nothing there. Ruby shook her head stubbornly, till all her wavy hair fell over her face. "We can search more in the morning." Sirius said, standing up, and taking her hand. She frowned and pouted, but her took her arm gently, and pulled her to the stairs, and up to her bedroom.  
  
"Good God. That took long enough." Kira commented, when Sirius came down again, and into our living room, a quarter to ten.  
  
"Wanted a bed time story." Sirius replied, shrugging, and sitting on the one armchair. Me and Kira were on the manky sofa.  
  
"So..." Kira began, trying to think of something to start a conversation. "How are you and Jessica doing?" She half-suggested.  
  
"Oh, great, yeah." He said, sitting up straight, like this was his favourite topic. "And it's wonderful, we just got a new house and everything. Obviously we don't have much money, and it's a bit crap," He said, surveying the room, clearly comparing it to his house, and deciding it was probably worse, "But yeah, everything's... great!"  
  
And that's definitely what I needed to hear, thanks to BOTH OF THEM. Hey-ho.  
  
"So, how's auror training going..." And from then our conversation meandered through various tropics, until around 11:30 when we decided we were tired.  
  
"I'll go and get the duvet from upstairs." I muttered, while Kira began to arrange cushions from the sofa on the floor, for Sirius to sleep on. I pulled a musty duvet from the airing cupboard, debated whether to put a cover on it, and decided I couldn't be bothered, before chucking it down the narrow stairs. Once I'd followed it down I kicked it into a heap beside the row of cushions.  
  
"Thank you, kind hostess. I love you highly, and shall continue my graces towards you." He said, picking up the duvet, and throwing it over his 'bed' before straightening it out.  
  
"That's wrong Sirius." I said, yawning. He shrugged.  
  
"So?"  
  
"You didn't pay attention in muggle studies, did you?" Kira asked, grimly.  
  
"Is there any reason why I should have done?" He asked, grinning.  
  
"Not really. I burnt my copy of MacBeth as soon as I could after our OWLs."  
  
"I never had one." I said. "Never did MS-"  
  
"Logically." Sirius cut in. I rolled my eyes.  
  
"My brother's friend, Nathaniel, said it constantly throughout, and after his year 9 SATs." I said, turning, and going upstairs. I couldn't be bothered to explain about SATs. If they'd been paying attention in Muggle Studies, they'd have known, probably. Not that it really mattered. I was particularly glad I'd only had to do them in year 2 and 6. All level 2 in year 2. Math's and science level 4, and English level 5 in year 6. Average. Apart from the level 5. Anyway, still it didn't matter. I dragged myself up to my roomed, and fell into my bed, sleeping practically instantly.  
  
*****  
  
AN: Ok, pretty sure there's going to be more chapters than I said before. Hey-ho.  
  
OH MY GOD! I CANNOT BELEIVE WHAT JK ROWLING DID! How the HELL could she kill my FAVOURITE chracter!? It's UTTER rudeness, and I would consider hatemail, were it not that I want another book in A YEAR this time.  
  
Oh, yeah, HA! James has brown eyes. Ok, I know Sirius never had spikey hair, but shhhhhhhh! They'll never know, if you don't tell them.  
  
Bloody inner demon.  
  
Not sure what up there was the inner demon, but SOME was.  
  
Killed... can't... spoiler... no.... shut up mai.  
  
Anyway, I will continue to try to finish this. Try not to read too much of Order of the Phoenix in mean time, or you'll realsie what I have to do with Ruby I was going to anyway. I can't beleive about Sirius's family either! But that's kind of cool. Until... DAMNATION!  
  
And I've also got too few friends of Lily's. She's got to have more than one for the OWLs. Hey-ho. Shut up, and stop spoiling stuff for anyone wo hasn't finished the book yet (Snape's Worst Memory is the best chapter. Hagrid's is the most confusing, but I fell asleep for a couple of hourse in the middle of that. Staying up the whole night reading is not easy.)  
  
All I'll say from now, is that this book, made me cry, and Ginny is cool. I like her.  
  
Hey-ho. Hope I haven't ruined your evening. Please review.  
  
Love you lots (really) - Mai 


	30. Sirius, the Other Father

Denial  
  
Chapter 30 - Sirius, the Other Father  
  
*****  
  
The next day, after the fun hunt for Halloween goodies (house was in ruins afterwards) I got the fun, fun treat of going to Sirius's house. There was going to be a small gathering of friend type people. Not many could come, so it was quite random, and assorted. Just after I got there with Ruby, and Sirius there was a knock at the door. Sirius spun around to let the guy in. I glanced at him, before hurrying away with Ruby.  
  
It was the random guy from the wedding who'd thought we were sisters.  
  
Great so on top of being in the same house as Jessica, I had to deal with him. I pulled Ruby into the living room, where I saw James and Peter sitting talking on cushions on the floor, and a variety of other people dotted around. A few people from Jessica's year, a couple of muggle friends, apparently.  
  
"Unkie James, and uncle Peter!" Ruby exclaimed, running over to them. James laughed, ad Peter copied him, as Ruby threw herself at James's chest. Dunno why, but she'd always called James "Unkie."  
  
"Calm down, Ruby Tuesday." James chuckled, referring to his favourite name for her, stolen from a muggle song.  
  
"Food's in the kitchen, if you want any." Sirius said, sauntering into the room. I quickly stood up to get some as I saw the guy follow Sirius in.  
  
"Hi Theo." Jessica said, smiling at the guy.  
  
"Hey." He replied, and he smiled at me, before I dissapeared.  
  
In the kitchen I quickly located the red wine, and poured myself a glass. As long as I flooed home, and stayed conscious, I was fine, and could drink as much as I wanted. I just had to avoid being an arse and thinking I could apparate. I took a swig, and searched for some form of food. Spotting a plate of interestingly shaped biscuits with large ammounts of choclate on top, I took a handful, and began to munch.  
  
I leant against the table in the deserted kitchen, and eaves dropped on the conversation in the front room. Ruby was apparently dancing round and singing. The song was something like:  
  
"Goosebumps! Goosebumps! Skeleton in the closet goes BOOOOOO!  
  
"Aah. No. I'm dyyyyying. The evil ghost will get me!  
  
"Goosey goosey bumps. Brrr. It's cold. The storm and the lightning and the E-VIL GHOOOST!  
  
"Save me! Save me! Save me daddyyyyyyyyy!"  
  
A few people were chuckling, and I heard Sirius go "oof" as Ruby banged into his chest. Then I heard "Daddy?" From some young woman who was in there.  
  
"Yeah. Daddy. Meet my daughter Ruby!" Sirius's voice said, before muttering "God, you're getting heavy." Yeah. A whole two and a half stone. Wish I was that light. Actually no I don't, then I'd be anorexic, but I wish I was two and a half stone lighter.  
  
There was a pause and a few mutterings before James said "And I'm Unkie James!"  
  
"Unkie James!" Ruby exploded. There was a thud as she wriggled loose of Sirius's grasp and hit the floor, before springing up, and running into him as well.  
  
I looked behind me, and saw a plate of cheese and pinapple speared on coctail sticks, and decided to make a start on them, though I couldn't imagine who would have bothered to make them. Just then the kitchen door swang open and in marched Sirius with James carrying Ruby, and the guy from the wedding.  
  
"Yeyo Mummy." James said, passing me Ruby. He looked at her affectionately and sighed. "Wish Ruby was my daughter. God, she's just so gorgeous. Aren't you gorgeous. Sexy lady." He said, batting his eyes. I grinned at him slightly.  
  
"Yeah! I want Unkie James to be my daddy!" Ruby said, reaching out to him. Sirius gasped in mock horror.  
  
"What about me?" He 'sobbed'.  
  
"And daddy also be my daddy!" Ruby said, a look of dismay coming over her face at her fathers distress.  
  
"Yey!" Sirius shouted, suddenly brightening. Ruby also beamed.  
  
I heard a screech of laughter from the front room. "Oh no, I'm not the mother!" That was Jessica's voice. Too damn right she wasn't.  
  
"No, you're my Ruby, aren't you. I said, bouncing her on my hip, and grabbing another stick of cheese and pinapple before pushing past James, and making my way back to the front room, to avoid the odd the look that the guy from the wedding was giving me. Sirius grabbed a plate of something before following me.  
  
Just as I got to the almost closed door I heard Jessica say "...personally wouldn't have chosen Ruby myself."  
  
"No, not a good name." One of her frieds replied. My expression grew sour and I glanced up at Sirius. His eyes darkened slightly, but he shrugged, and ate a marshmallow from the plate, before pushing open the door, calling "Marshmallows anyone?" I looked at Ruby who was chewing her thumb worriedly.  
  
"Don't worry about what she says. Do you like the name Ruby?" Ruby nodded vigorously. "And even if you don't some day, you could always call yourself Alludra." I told her.  
  
"That's my middle name." She remarked.  
  
"I know." I said, nodding, and following Sirius into the room. "Want a marshmallow?"  
  
*****  
  
AN: Yeah. It's short. It took ages. I'm going to try and right the next chapter today, coz the holidays have just started, I'm free all day, and I'm busy all august, so I'd better do it now. The party thing will continue next chapter, because the guy from the wedding has to come in somewhere.  
  
Ok, thankyous:  
  
freakyfroggurl - you read the book yet? tragic, isn't it :(  
  
lilyclio - i think I did e-mail you. I hope you appreciated it (if I did, but I think I did because I remember thinking exactly the same - absolutely NOTHING good happened to harry. Well. A few things did, but they'd gone by the end of the book.)  
  
Calm serene - most definately. Spiked hair all round. AND he was the good looking one (!).  
  
The Elfin Child - I too cried the rest of the book. Then wrote a letter (cough hate mail) to JK, then couldn't be bothered to send it.  
  
Thena - ah. Can't be a good impression that I didn't update for so long then. Ho hum. I'm updating now.  
  
Starblaze - Here you are...?  
  
Triforce Knight - no, I don't beleive you do. I'm not so sure either, but I know what I'm working towards. Kind of.  
  
kyo-ko - I am still strictly Sirius fan and anti-snape. However...  
  
o0o-Sirius-o0o - neither am I happy. You posted another review... hang on...  
  
itsalwaysdarkerinmyeyes - danke shon. Here is your update. Kind of late. Sorry.  
  
Annoriel - it is VERY depressing.  
  
LuNaMoOn - *hug* there you go. happier now. Or still depressed. Damnéd JK.  
  
Bob The Invincible Elf - Hazel is brown. Not normal brown, but brown none the less. I think he is dead. It's just that once you're dead doesn't mean you're gone. I explained my theory of death being better than life to someone... sorry I just got loads of emails about the book after last chapter - and that with the prophecy at the end it could be that whichever one dies is the winner and the lucky one, because they get to be dead, and see the dead people, and so on.  
  
Jo - because he's staying with his daughter. My dad generally comes to stay with us when he visits. Georgia's alternates between staying and taking her away. *shrug*  
  
whydoyoucare - does she live in scotland now? Ok. she USED to live in the forest of Dean, and I live right by the Forest of Dean and My mum and brother have friends there. I don't however.  
  
apoorva - sorry I didn't update fast. The first part of the ending will be happy. The second will be sad.  
  
magicrules - of course it's not the end. Here's more. And there's more coming.  
  
Melody - puchb. wait. twill happen shortly.  
  
Lj - rob and nai say toodles. IT's quite funny. I was talking to Rob after school and hes like "Oh, my bus is here now. Ok, toodles." And he has a posh accent and it sounds so funny. Ok. I'll shut up now.  
  
magicrules2003 - I'm guessing you're the same as Magicrules, but in case you're not you get a seperate massage :D. Anyway... wait you are. Ok. Bon.  
  
LUNAMOON - this person wanted to review your story. I'd read their review. Or email them.  
  
Morbid Caffiene - I certainly like Moulin Rouge a lot. Dunno what my favourite song is. Probly Elephant Love Melody. If that's what it is, I can't remember. Anyway. Ewan. The Ewan I know isn't scottish, but I think it is a scottish name. It can also be spellt Eoin. Oddeties, no?  
  
Sam - Ah, no, it's better than her dying.  
  
magicrules (again) - sorry sorry sorry sorry.  
  
froggy - Supposedly by law it was Sirius's fault if he had sex with Chloe and she was underage. Never fear rememtion is near. And Queer? Means strange or gay.  
  
Black-Lives-On - too right he does. It's JK in denial. and *winces* here's your update.  
  
Child Of The Wolves - I liked that review. And I'm going to be on holiday solidly through august basically, with little chance for update, so I'd better be pretty much finished by then. Anyway. Here. The first update.  
  
KeeperOfTheMoon - One fanfiction I was reading... who's was it... Oliva Frost/Angelic Ashley's apparently. Anyway the chapter was "Denial isn't just a river in Egypt" and I'm like "No, It's my fic too." Yeah. I was in denial until someone actually said he was dead. Not even when Remus almost did.  
  
Ok, wll theose notes made the chapter altogether longer. Good good.  
  
love to all -   
  
- Mai 


	31. Sirius, the Jealously in Denial

Denial  
  
Chapter 31 - Sirius, the Jealously in Denial  
  
*****  
  
His name was Theo. Oddly that was also my cousins name, but these oddeties happen. Yeah. Jessica's cousin Theo. The guy from the wedding. As it began to get dark, and Sirius had lit all the jack'o lanterns Theo plucked up the courage to come over to me, while Chloe was taking a nap in her pushchair.  
  
"She's your daughter. Isn't she?" He said tentatively. I nodded, shrugging. "Sorry about that at the wedding."  
  
"Well it's not like you knew. I was only 15 when I had her."  
  
"Oh right." He said, obviously unsure of what to say. All right with me. I wouldn't have known what to say. "And she's Sirius's?"  
  
"Yeah." I said, thinking back. "Yeah, and he had a BIG tantrum when he found out." I rolled my eyes. Theo smiled.  
  
"Mmm. I can imagine I might as well. God. A father at 15." He frowned.  
  
"Actually he was 16 by then." I said, "But it's not much difference is it."  
  
"So how old's Ruby now?"  
  
"Three." I said, "Actually what I can't beleive is Sirius married at 18."  
  
"Yeah, nor me with Jessica. Except she's not 18 till November, but that starts in," He checked his watch "just less than 5 hours. Of course her bithday isn't till the ... 20th I think."  
  
"Uh huh." Frankly I didn't really care when Jessica's birthday was. I wasn't buying her any presents. I fiddled with the lid on the nearby pumpkin. I hadn't carved a Pumpkin since I was 10 when I cut my finger open with the knife. It hadn't been nice.  
  
In fact if I remember correctly I didn't feel a thing, then I saw the blood, showed it to my friend Soph, who was round, and she'd gone "Aah." In an 'Oh dear, that wasn't meant to happen' way. Then I'd walked over to mum, wondering about the best way to phrase it before saying, "Mum. I'm stupid." And showing her the hand. She'd gone up the wall, of course, Then taken me to hospital through rain so thick that we couldn't see a thing through the windscreen, even with the wipers going on full. They'd bandaged me up and sent me home, happy as larry. And I had a tale to tell on Monday at school. All in good fun.  
  
"She's really pretty" Theo commented, looking down at the sleeping Ruby.  
  
"Yeah. She has propper waves in her hair, not just anoying vague shapes like me." I said, fiddling with a strand that fell over my face. "And hers is darker too."  
  
"Oh, yours is fine. It's really nice." He said reasuringly, as I tried to tug the strand straight.  
  
"Oh, yeah sure." I muttered, letting the strand go, and turning to look at his hair. It was short, and light brown, with a simple cut, and it just lay on his head. His eyes were light blue, and his face rather angular, kind of like Jessica's. Eurgh. Jessica. But I suppose he couldn't help being family. He was nicer than Jessica anyway. "Sooo..."  
  
"Sooo..." He repeated.  
  
"You know what? It's Halloween today." I commented, nodding.  
  
"It is?" He said in mock surprise.  
  
"Yeah, It is. Isn't that a shock."  
  
"Indeed. I never would have guessed it." He looked around and gasped loudly, "Pumpkins! But I never noticed them."  
  
My voice dropped low. "You- You didn't? HOW COULD YOU DENY THE POWER OF KING PUMPKIN!"  
  
"My cat's called Pumpkin." He told me.  
  
"You have cats too." I told him, though he probably didn't need to be told. "Lily has them as well. Well her parents do. She's off becoming a Healer."  
  
"Oh right. Yeah, well, he's called Pumkin, because he's large, and fat, and orange, and looks like a pumpkin." He explained.  
  
"Is that so? I imagined him to look more like a cat." I admitted. Theo laughed. I looked outside, where the streetlights had come on, and in the dull blue sky you could just make out a few stars, and the half moon was rising behind the houses opposite. Our conversation paused.  
  
"So, you went to Hogwarts, right?" I asked, tentatively, because if he didn't I was in trouble. I'd already mentioned healers, but you never know.  
  
"Yeah." He said "But there's muggles in the room, so keep it down." He whispered, right in my ear. I twisted my head slightly, so I could look him in the eye.  
  
"So... what colour did you paint your house?" I said, winking. He frowned for a second, before his mouth formed into an 'O'.  
  
"Oh, um, red. With deep yellow window sills." He told me, nodding.  
  
"Oo. Sounds adveturous." I told him. "Unlike your cousin then. She always liked Blue better, didn't she? Or was it yellow and black?"  
  
"Yeah, blue's her favourite colour, if I remember right, but she's three years behind me in... fashion trends." He invented. "'Cause I just know what's hot, and what's not." He said, impressively.  
  
"Yeah, I always liked red better than blue. But I'm still as far behind as Sirius when it comes to fashion." I explained.  
  
"What a shame." He said, shaking his head. "You might be able to catch up with me, if you tried."  
  
"Am I the only one, who's lost this conversation completely?" I asked, biting my lip.  
  
"Nope, I have no idea what I'm saying." He told me.  
  
"That's good to know."  
  
Suddenly there was a cry from below; "Mummy!" I looked down to see Ruby, awake, and struggling out of her pushchair. "I want a marshmallow." She demanded, tugging my arm.  
  
"Sorry, they're all gone." I said, reaching down, and picking her up. I smoothed her hair which had become knotty at the back.  
  
"But they weren't when I went to sleep, she complained, kicking me, gently, and wriggling to get free. I set back on the floor.  
  
"Well, I'm afraid we ate them." I apologised. "But there's some biscuit left."  
  
"Where?" In the kitchen, "Do you want me to get them?"  
  
"Don't worry, I'll go." Theo said, stepping over a man sitting on the floor beside us, and strolling out of the door. He came back 30 seconds later holding a plate of chocolate biscuits. "Here you go." He placed them on the floor, at her feet. She took a handful, and began eating.  
  
Sirius glanced over, "Oh, Ruby's a awake. Ok, ghost stories." He said, grinning. I groaned.  
  
"She's too young."  
  
"I'm not." She said, stubbornly, walking across the room, and plonking herself on her dad's knee, causing him to take his arm from around Jessica, and put it round his daughter. I smirked at the look on Jessica's face, as she flicked her dark blonde hair from her eyes. She too looked grim at the prospect of ghost stories.  
  
I talked to Theo quietly, in code, about Hogwarts, while someone recounted the tale of Black Coffin. I watched my daughter's eye grow wide, as Black Coffin made it's way into the house, and she squealed and his her face in Sirius's stomach as Black Coffin finally came to "get you!"  
  
"No more ghost stories." She said, her vice high pitched, and muffled.  
  
"All right. I think it's bed time." Sirius said, picking her up, and taking her out of the room.  
  
"I'll just go, and say goodnight to my child." I said to Theo, before picking my way out of the room, and following Sirius to the spare bedroom.  
  
"You seem to be getting on well with Jessica's cousin." He commented, in a way that sounded light, as he tucked Ruby up, but he didn't look at me.  
  
"Theo? Yeah, he's all right." I remembered just in time that Sirius was married to Jessica, so it would have been a bad idea to insult her.  
  
"Mmmm." He said, "Just be careful."  
  
"Bit late. I've already had one child." I said, jokingly. Sirius looked at me sadly.  
  
"Come here." He said, holding out his arms. I stepped forward, and wrapped my arm around his neck, and hugged him. Just like back in fifth year. He rubbed my back a few times, and rocked me. I closed my eyes, to enjoy the expirience. I needed Sirius Black again.  
  
We pulled apart as the door was pushed open. It was Theo.  
  
"Just came to say goodbye. I'm going now." Theo said.  
  
"Bye." I said, waving slightly. I glanced at Ruby. "Out like a light. Actually I think I'll go now too. Not much to stick around for." I grinned weakly at Sirius, and hugged him briefly again. "Bye. Bye Ruby." I whispered, needlessly.  
  
"There's a fire in my room." Sirius said, still looking in the direction of Ruby's cot.  
  
"Thanks. Wait a sec, Theo, I'll just go and get my stuff." I dashed downstairs, grabbed my bag, and cardie, and ran back to find Theo in Sirius's room, standing by the empty grate.  
  
"Bye Sirius!" I called again, as Theo threw some floo powder into the empty grate.  
  
"You go first." He offered.  
  
"Thanks. Bye." I said, giving him a quick hug. "Probably see you some other time."  
  
"Yeah, see you." He said, as I turned, and stepped into the green flames.  
  
"8, Laurel Close, Bridport!"  
  
*****  
  
AN: Another chapter done. Tension between Sirius and Jessica. Something, however small, between Theo and Chloe. Thanks to all my reviewers (OVER 300 REVIEWS!):  
  
LuNaMoOn - I don't mind at all. In fact I think all Lily's friends should be called Chloe. Well, only one per fanfiction, otherwise it would be over done. Oh yes. Here is Lily's best friend. Chloe! And her second best one, is ALSO called Chloe. And her friends from Ravenclaw are called Chloe as well, all three of them! - Ok. I'll shut up.  
  
KeeperOfTheMoon - Maybe that's HIS excuse, but it's more than that. Hehe.  
  
Trackstar Tomboy - I know. JK is SO RUDE!  
  
Angel - I'm writing more. Writing more. Done. All done. More. More. Yes more...  
  
o0o- Sirius -o0o - hah hah. I think you will be able to when it happens. In fact, I'm pretty sure you will. No. The ending is not nice.  
  
greenfairie - soon enough. soon enough.  
  
Adrian Abbott - chapter 4, hmm? That was... oh. That chapter. Ok then.  
  
freakyfroggurl22 - marshmallows? MARSHMALLOWS? I want the marshmallows. I love marshmallows.  
  
apoorva - I don't know. I would kill JK, but I want to know how Harry makes contact with him again.  
  
Black-Lives-On - yes. good update. Ruby cool.  
  
Child Of The Wolves - I like that idea. I like it a lot. I've already began to work it in. Thankyou. Thankyou much.  
  
running out of ink - soon, I promise. The breaking up is a guaranteed element. I think I may use that name... hmm. Or something like it. How about "Sirius, the Ex-husband, Ex-Bastard"? I didn't know whether it was fanfiction or my computer stopping it working. I was panicking so much.  
  
Thena - never fear. Another update is here.  
  
The Elfin Child - Too damn right. Ruby's a great name. It's longer than last time chapter, I think. Of course there were about a million thank yous at the bottom of the last one.  
  
Annoriel - Yeeeees. Veeeery Paaaainful. Fun.  
  
Anyway. I was wondering if anyone wanted to start a Sirius fan site *nods head vigorously*. Anyone at all, who'd like to help at all. And if not that, then a Sirius fan community on MSN or Yahoo. That would be far easier, and probably better, actually. Anyone interested? Any opinions?  
  
Love you all - Mai 


	32. Sirius, the Regretful

Denial  
  
Chapter 32 - Sirius, the Regretful  
  
*****  
  
Christmas. A joyous time for all the family. Luckily, this year, I wasn't going home for Christmas. I was going to Remus's house. Remus had invited Sirius, James, Peter, Kira, Lily, and Me for Christmas Dinner. He invited Jessica along with Sirius, but she was going to visit her family, as well as Peter. So there was only the six of us there.But it was fine. I'm sure we could all cope fine without Peter, and especially without Jessica.  
  
Well, maybe not Sirius, but he didn't count. He had me after all.  
  
Maybe, caught up in the joy, and laughter, and memory of old times, he would forget all about his wife, and we could make passionate love again, and all would be happy.  
  
Then again, maybe not.  
  
Well, I could live in hope.  
  
Lily had come back from Healer training a week before, and had spent some of it with her family, and most of it with James. She'd popped in once to say a quick hello, before dashing off again on a date. With James I presume. Apparently he was taking her somewhere fancy.  
  
Anyway, the night of Christmas eve, me and Kira gathered our clothes, and presents, and food offerings, and flooed off to Remus's house in Shropshire.  
  
Sirius sat back and watched us as we dusted off our sooty clothes in Remus's living room. "Clean enough, now?" He asked, as I finished shaking out my thin, grey sweater, and brushing the dust from Ruby's dark hair.  
  
"I think so." I said, looking up. Kira nodded.  
  
"Presents under the tree." Remus informed us, opening the door, and stepping into the room. I detached my parcels from the rest of my luggage, and put them on the small pile under the squat, undecorated Christmas tree, as Kira did the same.  
  
"Why isn't it pretty?" Ruby asked, pointing at the tree. She was sitting safely in my arms.  
  
"Because," Began Remus, "Father Christmas's little elves think this house is special, and they're going to decorate it for us tonight while we're asleep."  
  
"But I want to see them." She complained.  
  
"If you see them then Father Christmas won't give you any presents, and they'll never come to decorate the tree again." Remus warned her. I grinned at him, and Sirius was nodding along. "So what do you want for tea? I'm afraid I don't have much. I think we'll be having beans on toast for Christmas dinner," He teased, "So does fish fingers, and waffles sound good for now?" Ruby frowned for a moment, thinking.  
  
"Save the fish fingers and waffles for Christmas Dinner." She told him finally.  
  
"No, no, it's fine. You can have them now." He said, turning his back on us, and strolling out the kitchen. Ruby looked after him with wide eyes.  
  
"I think he was joking about Christmas dinner," I told her, smiling.  
  
"Didn't sound like he was joking." Ruby grumbled.  
  
*****  
  
After Ruby was safely in bed, and asleep, the four of us ate (basically whatever we could find. I ate most of Ruby's leftover potato waffles) and drank some wine that Sirius had brought. It was cheap, but it contained alcohol, which was all that really mattered.  
  
At around 11:30 we decided it was probably time to decorate the tree. I had six blue and silver baubles. Remus produced a box, of various things to hang of the few branches. Sirius donated some chocolate stars, wrapped in tin foil, with strings coming from the top. I nicked one, before helping to hang them all on the tree.  
  
Once it was done it looked clumsy, and over decorated. We'd forgotten the lights Kira had brought, till last, which was the wrong way round. I looked at it, critically.  
  
"It's crap." I said, simply.  
  
"Yeah." Sirius agreed, flicking off the lights, as the tinsel began fizzing from the heat.  
  
"I think we should probably start again. I'm sure Santa's little elves are better at decorating than this, otherwise they would let you decorate your own tree." I said, looking around pointedly, for volunteers. They all shook there heads. "Fine. I don't care. I'll do it all by myself. If that's what it takes to keep my daughter happy." I said, unplugging the lights, and carefully unwrapping them.  
  
"All right, I'll help you." Sirius said, sighing, and leaving the sofa, to kneel on the floor next to me.  
  
"Good good." I replied, as he pulled off the tinsel, strangling the tree, making it shake.  
  
Half an hour later, the tree was bare once more, and Kira and Remus decided they couldn't be bothered to stay up any longer, and parted ways for bed.  
  
"Fine. It's just us then." I said, placing the lights carefully onto the tree, and applying the ones that didn't fit onto the wall in a swirl, with a bit of magic.  
  
"I'm tired, Chloe." Sirius whined.  
  
"You're staying, Sirius." I said, imitating his tone. "Now find all the silver stuff." I commanded.  
  
"Why?"  
  
"It's going to be a silver Christmas tree." I told him, flicking on the lights, to check they worked.  
  
"What if there's not enough silver stuff?" He asked, holding up the one piece of silver tinsel which was about a foot long.  
  
"We add another colour. How about blue?" I said, taking out my baubles. Sirius shrugged. "Put those on. After I've finished the tinsel." I said, handing them to him. I wrapped the blue tinsel in a neat swirl, and Sirius began to hang the baubles on, never deterred by the way they kept falling off.  
  
We replaced the chocolates (because they were chocolate) and shared another one. Sirius had found a few other silver and blue decorations in Remus's box. Finally I placed a painted wooden angel on the top, wearing a white and silver dress, with wavy black hair.  
  
"Looks kind of like Ruby, doesn't she?" Sirius said, surveying the angel's face.  
  
"Mmm. But her hair isn't as dark as yours yet."  
  
"I think that's partly the gel." He said. I flicked one of his spikes. He gasped, staring at me. "Right. That's it." He said, throwing himself on me, and tickling me sides. I started giggling, and squealing.  
  
"No don't. I'll scream, and Ruby will wake up, and she'll be worried the elves won't come again." I gasped. But still Sirius persisted, pinning me to the floor. I failed at pushing him off, until finally he gave up, and simply pinned me to the floor instead, looking down on me.  
  
Gradually his grin vanished, and he stared at me sadly. Tears pricked between my eyes. I wanted to do this every day. I wanted to know where his grin had gone.  
  
Eventually he stood up, and pulled me with him, and hugged me, completely unexpectedly. I relaxed in his arms, while he stroked my back and hair.  
  
"Sometimes..." He whispered. My heart skipped a beat, wondering what he was going to say, if he would carry on saying it. He took a deep breath and sighed. "Sometimes I wish Ruby had never been born." He said, regret in his voice, burying his face in the hair which spilled onto my shoulder. The tears came on stronger, and threatened to emerge. "She- She stopped what there could have been between us." The was a long silence. "I'm sorry." He said, pulling away.  
  
"No." I said, catching his hand, as a tear slipped down my cheek. He wiped it away with his thumb. "Sometimes I wish it too." I said, pulling back into his embraced, and wiping my tears on his shoulder.  
  
*****  
  
AN: It's eight chapters from when I said it would only last eight more chapters, and it's still going on strong! I was planning on actually getting to Christmas this chapter, but then the tickling thing came along unexpectedly. In fact, none of that chapter was planned. But I liked it. I dunno, if her crying is too rushed, but hey-ho. It's a pent up feelings thing.  
  
Ok, people, yesterday when I logged into my computer my little alert thing said I had THIRTY new messages. Every last one from ff.net, review alerts. They weren't all for the last chapter, but STILL. I normally get like maybe eight, four, one. These also included the LONGEST reveiw I've ever had. Thankyou, Lady K!  
  
Ok, thankyou's (this may take a while, and you probably won't get a message):  
  
LuNaMoOn  
  
Black-Lives-On  
  
dizzyBlonde  
  
Lj - Nah hah. I hope you are beginning to see the answer to your question.  
  
Aalina  
  
o0o- Sirius -o0o - Um... I mean the ending isn't nice? I did nothing! It wasn't my fault! This story is so not in cannon with OotP.  
  
bertiebottsgeorge - No. I was really hoping I wasn't doing her attitude too old or young, or somthing. But no. It's ok. Thank you.  
  
greenfairie - Ah. She may be torn.  
  
Lady K - Wow. Many favourites. And you just gave me the most amazing idea.  
  
o0o- Sirius -o0o - (yeah, again) maybe the ending isn't so bad after all......  
  
Lady Matsu  
  
starlight - ah. I was meant to e-mail you. I was going to (once I finished reading my THIRTY REIEWS) then I completely forgot. Oh well, I'll do that after this, if I remember. And I have read OotP (twice) and I do hate JK.  
  
Dark Lulu  
  
Thena  
  
little-lost-one  
  
siriuslover  
  
Miyukisetsu - wow. ALL of some day. Which day? Monday.  
  
freakyfroggurl - *gasp* gummy worms. I want the gummy worms.  
  
Child Of The Wolves - uh, well I'm only one day late. Theo was gryffindor, two years older than Chloe, and three older than Jessica, who was probably Ravenclaw.  
  
FaLvGuRl  
  
Riffinton - many places, I'm sure, but I have a bon idée from Lady K... Still involves a likely sequel, and meetings and thinginesses.  
  
Oh my God! I've got it! Ok. This AN has been a journey of discovery, hasn't it.  
  
snow-angel  
  
Akina - maaaaaybe...  
  
The Elfin Child - Oh. That took me four times to get the wand thing. With the hat. Ands th -s. Anyway.  
  
KeeperOfTheMoon  
  
running out of ink  
  
Ok. That should make the chapter look longer. Good good. So I was thinking, maybe just an msn group, but then you can put pages on that, which could have Sirius stuff, or it could develope so it's members make a site... what do you think? And Names for it?  
  
- Mai 


	33. Sirius, the Bringer of Turkey

Denial  
  
Chapter 33 - Sirius the Bringer of Turkey  
  
*****  
  
Lily and James came the next morning as Ruby finished extracting every last thing from her stocking. She was just about to start eating the first of her sweets, when the fire shot up, emerald green, and James stepped out, followed by a rather dishevelled Lily. She'd never been good at flooing.  
  
"Lily!" I said, getting up to hug her, before hugging James briefly. "Hi James." I said.  
  
"Unkie James!" Ruby exploded. "Lily." She hugged each of there legs before turning round, and picking up her sweets. "Look what I got from Father Christmas, Unkie James. Look!" She thrust them into his hands.  
  
"Great, Ruby. Did Father Christmas get you all of these?" Ruby nodded, "Wow, you must have been really good this year."  
  
"Yeah, sure" I muttered.  
  
"I have!" Ruby protested. "Unkie James, put my bracelet on for me." Ruby said, picking up a tacky blue and green plastic bracelet I'd put in her stocking. "Thankoo" She said, as he clipped it shut.   
  
"Coffee, anyone?" Remus said, coming in from the kitchen, carrying a tray.  
  
"Yes please." I said, sighing, and leaning over to get a mug.  
  
"Rough night?" Remus asked, raising his eyebrows suggestively.  
  
"Yeah," I said, grinning sheepishly, "Couldn't get to sleep, 'cause I knew Father Christmas would be there any minute." Actually I'd been thinking about what Sirius had said. The implications - 'She stopped what there could have been between us'. That meant he wanted - at least had wanted - something between us. It meant he still saw me that way. If we hadn't had sex, he might not have dumped me. I wouldn't have got pregnant. I wouldn't have hated him. I wouldn't have left school. I could have stopped the stupid relationship with Jessica before he proposed. Damn it, why? I loved Ruby, yeah sure I loved her. It wasn't her fault. Sirius loved her too. I wouldn't give her up just to do the last four years again. It was just... if she'd never been an option life could have been so different. And in some ways so much better. But it might have been crap. It might have just been the worst four years of my life.  
  
It didn't matter anyway. I couldn't change it, so what was the point of thinking of how it could have been. There wasn't one. Good.  
  
We quickly moved on to present unwrapping. Once Lily and James had put the presents they'd brought under the tree, we each took it in turns (starting with Ruby of course) to find a gift for us and open it. On my first turn I found my present from Lily. It was a lovely striped wool scarf, and some incense.  
  
When my second go came around I ducked my head underneath the tree, and picked up and examined various presents and parcels, until I found one that was labelled 'Chloe'. Eventually I found a small, hard, cube, which rattled faintly when I picked it up. I shook it, and heard something bang against the inside of whatever is was, and decided not to shake it again. Backing out from under the tree's sharp pins, I held it up in the air, signalling for whoever it was from to tell me. As I held it up I noticed it was wrapped in paper of different shades of copper. I made a mental note to be careful with the paper and use it in my advertising work.  
  
"That's from me." Said a deep voice from behind me. Sirius's voice.  
  
"Thanks!" I said, leaping onto the sofa, beside him, in the space Rebus had just left, reaching to get one of his own gifts. I carefully unwrapped the paper, admiring the changing colours from burnt orange, to almost scarlet, to deep burgundy, each with a light sheen, each overlapped, and fading into each other.  
  
"It's just paper." Sirius commented.  
  
"But I really like it." I replied, "I hope the present matches up to it's wrapping." I said, grinning.  
  
"I hope so too." Sirius said, his expression serious. I frowned slightly, and gently pulled out a wooden box from the paper. The actual box was quite simple, square, made of deeply polished, high quality, wood. The lid, however, was carved beautifully. The edge formed a frame surrounding the centre. The frame was carved with indented swirls, stars, and lines, which twisted and curled, and followed the curve of the frame. At the four corners the wood changed smoothly to feathers, five at each, the colours of which faded from bright turquoise in the middle, to white at the edges. The centre of the lid proudly displayed the name 'Chloe' in silver, indented, lettering. The bottom of the C stretched to underline the word, then curled around, and formed itself into a flower, something like a daisy. There was a faint outline of a heart in brushed white paint, surround the name.  
  
I gazed at it in awe.  
  
"Made it in fifth year." Sirius said, quietly, "James helped a bit with the feathers. They were fiddly." I let out a breath, and stared at Sirius.  
  
"Fifth year." I stated. "It's fantastic!" I ran a finger over the smooth wood, and Sirius shrugged.  
  
"You do some amazing stuff for your work. This isn't that good."  
  
"What I do's all visual." I said, dismissively. "This is physical. And… absolutely brilliant. And you made this for me." I grinned at him again, so pleased that he'd put so much effort in for me. I threw my arms around him, still holding the box. He wrapped his arms around me, slightly shocked at my attack, I think. As I pulled back I heard the box rattle again.  
  
"Oo." I said, carefully removing the lid, and setting it aside. I peered at the box's contents, and fingered through them. Lip-gloss, a bracelet, and two pieces of paper. I picked out the lip-gloss.  
  
"You left it in our dormitory, and I never gave it back to you." Sirius said.  
  
"That would be four years ago." I commented. Sirius thought for a moment, then nodded. I opened up the little tub, and smelled it. Cherries. Such a lush smell. Then I remembered that this was the lip-gloss, which tasted really good. I dragged a finger across the surface, and licked it. "Ahhh. J'aime le lip-gloss."  
  
"Tu aime?" Sirius asked, looking worried. Well of course I liked it. It tasted delicious. And it had been mine before.  
  
"Oui." I said, putting some more on my finger and licking it off.  
  
"Bon." He said.  
  
"Bon." I copied, "Alors…" I pulled out the bracelet. It was a tiny silver chain with little glass raindrops hanging off it at intervals. "Woah." I breathed, fastening it around my wrist, and fingering one of the larger droplets.  
  
"Tu aime?" Sirius asked, his expression worried again.  
  
"J'adore." I said, wondering at where he had got such a beautiful item. But his expression only grew more worried as I pulled out the first bit of paper. It really wasn't like him to be so worried about things. I gently unfolded the small piece of paper, to stare at a drawing. The artist wasn't brilliant, in fact I recognised the skill level as Sirius's in fifth year, but the picture was definitely recognisable as me, in clothes fit for a princess, hung with jewellery, with a delicate crown on my head, surrounded by tiny fairies.  
  
"I drew it in fifth year, trying to copy how you drew them. It didn't work out too well, but I wanted to give it to you anyway. Even though I've only just got round to it." Sirius explained.  
  
"Oh, thank you." I said, placing it back in the box. I noticed Sirius staring at the last piece of paper.  
  
"Um…" He said, "I think I'll go and check on the food. In the kitchen." He said, hurriedly, getting off the sofa, and leaving. I stared after him, before picking out the last bit of paper, now very curious.  
  
There was a note pinned to it, which read:  
  
"I wrote this just four years ago, just after we broke up, but I think it's all still relevant."  
  
I read the short note a few times, stalling my reading the actual letter. Just after we broke up. He broke up with me. This letter couldn't be a good thing. And it was still relevant. It was bad news. Bad, bad news. It had to be.  
  
Suddenly I felt that the present was ruined. Why did he have to ruin it? I almost didn't read it, but curiosity got the better of me.  
  
"Dear Chloe,  
  
"I love you. I love you so much. And I will forever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever and ever, and for all eternity after that. And believe me I am so, so, so, so, so, so, so, sorry! So sorry, you can't imagine how much. And I wish I'd never left you because I love you so, so much. And I don't want to go for second best. I want you. I was just afraid of how far we got. I was afraid of commitment. And I'm sorry. I do love you. Please, forgive me.  
  
"Love forever, Sirius"  
  
No way.  
  
That was my first thought once I'd read the letter. No way! He had Jessica. He was married. It had only been a month long relationship, so long ago. He didn't love me. I re-read the letter again...  
  
He always said he loved girls. He always lied. Look what had happened with Kira, when he'd dumped her. She told us he'd said h loved her. And he hadn't. And I'd said that he said that to everyone. Or at least thought it. He couldn't love me...  
  
He said it was still relevant. He did love me...  
  
No. He said he thought it was still relevant. He thought he loved me...  
  
He was married!  
  
He was sorry.  
  
He said he didn't want second best. Charlotte Green was second best. And if it was still relevant... Jessica.  
  
Hah! I was better than Jessica... possibly.  
  
I re-read the letter...  
  
I was going to talk to Sirius.  
  
Clutching the letter tightly, I climbed off the sofa, and over presents, and wrapping to get out of the room. I crossed the hall to the kitchen, and pushed the door open softly. I peered inside to see Sirius standing, holding the side board tightly, and leaning over it, breathing deeply. A mixture of happiness, sadness, and bewilderment washed over me. If he loved me, I was happy. If he didn't, I was disappointed, and sad. But I didn't know. I didn't know what he felt.  
  
"Sirius?" I said softly. He turned around, and closed his eyes, like he was dreading what was coming next. The feeling of sadness grew stronger. "You think it's all relevant?" I asked, emphasising the think.  
  
"It is all relevant." He said slowly, looking at the floor. I looked at the letter again. Partly checking that I'd read it right, and partly for time so either I could think of something to say, or he could say something.  
  
Eventually I said "So all this is true?" Sirius opened his mouth to say something. Then stopped and simply nodded. "And you..." I faltered. Sirius looked up at my face, "Love me." I finished. He nodded again, his face set in a grim smile.  
  
Slowly I began to walk around the table. As I reached Sirius I reached my arms out, and pulled them around his neck tightly. He rested his hands gently round my waste.  
  
"I- I love you too." I breathed. Sirius's grip tightened, but he relaxed. I breathed gently on his neck, and suddenly realised the sadness and bewilderment had gone. There was only happiness. Almost...  
  
Sirius pulled out and looked at me. "I think I need a divorce." He said. Nope it was just happiness again. I smiled, and felt tears come to my eyes. Of relief, I think. I sniffed as one fell.  
  
"Look, you naughty boy. You've made me cry on Christmas Eve and Christmas Day. No presents for you." I teased, as he wiped the tear away.  
  
"Not even from you." Sirius said, pouting. Back to his old self, thank God. I thought briefly of his present lying under the tree unopened. Then I decided I could give him a better one. I kissed him gently on the lips. He kissed me back. I kissed him again. And it was just one of those moments when you knew it was going to happen. A little mutual agreement. We leaned in again, but this tie it wasn't just a peck on the lips. It was a full blown snog session.  
  
Once we'd finished, I leant my forehead on his, and fingered the hair at the nape of his neck.  
  
"You dare to touch my hair." Sirius challenged, quietly.  
  
"Yep." I said, tugging the strand.  
  
"Ow." He complained, not too sincerely.  
  
"Oh, poor baby." I teased. "Want me to kiss it better?"  
  
"Yeth pleasthe." Sirius said. I walked around him, and stood on my tiptoes to kiss his hair. I walked back round and kissed him lips again.  
  
"Who're being a naughty girl and boy then." Came a voice from the door. I looked over. Remus. But he was smiling at us. "I don't think Jessica would be too pleased." He said, waggling a finger. "Or Theo for that matter."  
  
"I'm not going out with Theo. I never have been, probably never will be." I said breaking away from Sirius, and tucking the letter I was still holding away in my pocket.  
  
"But he is Jessica's cousin. And Sirius is married to Jessica." Remus pointed out. I shrugged. Sirius leant down and whispered in my ear.  
  
"He's making me feel bad about wanting to break up with Jessica. Stop him, Chloe. Stop him!" He said the last few words out loud.  
  
"Stop it, Remus." I said, looking at him sternly. "If Sirius doesn't break up with Jessica, I will kill someone. Namely you. Or maybe Jessica, that's another good idea." I chose to ignore Remus's shocked expression, at my first words.  
  
"Break up?" He asked Sirius. Sirius half nodded, half shrugged.  
  
"But Chloe." He said, gesturing towards me, but talking to Remus.  
  
"I suppose." Remus replied. Sirius did puppy dog eyes.  
  
"Only works on girls." I told him. He turned to me and did them instead. "Except you need to be trying to get something from them first."  
  
"I am." He replied, then in a low, rasping voice he said "Hot sex!" I looked at him for a moment pondering.  
  
"Ok," I said, "But first I think we should finish the present opening, have lunch, and wait until everyone else is in bed asleep, particularly Ruby."  
  
"Ok, fine." Sirius said, following me back to the living room.  
  
"Daddy, open my present!" Ruby said, as soon as we stepped through the door. She waved a large flat parcel in the air.  
  
"It's from me as well." I said, while Sirius took it, and went to sit down. He began ripping off the wrapping.  
  
"Be careful with the paper." I said, as he threw it on the floor. He shrugged, but smiled at the same time.  
  
"I'm not as artistic as you." He said.  
  
"Too right." I replied, as he turned over the present to see a photo of Ruby that I'd manipulated, so that she looked like a painted angel, with a halo and large wings, and a white and silver lace dress, and of course a silver wand, with a star at the top. Small silver sequins danced around her, as she danced around the photo. I'd made the background into a bright white cloud in a deep blue sky. "Ruby insisted on the sequins." I explained, "And she painted the frame." The frame was messy blobs of white, silver and blue, but it didn't look too bad.  
  
"Wow, that's great Ruby!" Sirius said, picking her up and hugging her, before putting her back down on the floor, and the picture on the coffee table.  
  
A few hours later, lunch was finally ready, and all the presents distributed and unwrapped. Remus called us all to the kitchen. Before us, on the table was a large turkey, pride of place in the centre ("I brought that" Sirius boasted.) Surrounding it were mountains of sausages, and roast potatoes, and broccoli and carrots, and parsnip, and sprouts, and tomato cabbage, and a mushroom and courgette thing, and cheesy mashed potato. It seemed as good as Hogwarts, though I hadn't been there in three and a half years, so I couldn't really say.  
  
I sat Ruby on the high stool, and sat on her left while Sirius was on her right. The glasses where already filled with wine, though I strongly suspected that Ruby's was actually Ribena. Remus stopped us from eating straight away, and raised his glass. "Merry Christmas!" He called.  
  
"Merry Christmas!" We all repeated. I drank some, and prepared to tuck in to the sausages, but James stood up first, holding Lily's hand.  
  
"Um, wait!" He said. I dropped my fork next to my plate. "Me and Lily have an announcement."  
  
"Lily and I" Ruby corrected. That would be my mother's influence. A few people giggled at her.  
  
"Ok, Lily and I," James said pointedly, "Have an announcement."  
  
"Wait," Lily said, I caught "Are we," Before she started whispering in James's ear.  
  
"We're getting-" He muttered to her, before "Together, on three?"  
  
"Ok," Lily said, "One," And James joined in, "Two, Three, We're getting married!"  
  
*****  
  
AN: Longest. Chapter. Ever. Sorry I didn't update for two weeks, I was on holiday the first week, and my friend's been here all this week. But he's asleep at the moment, so all is well. I hope the events in this chapter made up for it, because there were many thrilling and exciting things going on.  
  
You know, once, long, long ago, this story was going to end on 16 chapters. I have done more than twice that many now. And once, not so long ago, it was going to end on 29. I have exceeded that as well, and There are bound to be many more to come.  
  
The almost ending is sad, but the actual ending is happy. Happy as Larry the Happy Worm. And he is a very happy worm. It's only through OotP that this happy ending is possible. Two things from OotP in fact. Good thing that book came out, wasn't it. Otherwise the ending would have been sad and depressing, and many of you would have killed yourselves as a result. So be joyful and bright, and that the Gods and JK Rowling. And someone else who reviewed and gave me the good idea.  
  
Wow. If you merge Happy and Larry you get Harry. Or Lappy. Or Larpy Or several other things I can't be bothered to list. Anyway, that's dyslexia for you.  
  
As I am on the upstairs computer which has not the internet, I'm afraid I can't do individual thanks, but I'm sure you'll live. Just review and make me happy, and all will be well. Well... oh... dear... Um... Tomorrow I'm going on holiday, pretty much solidly for three weeks. I have a day free in the middle, but I don't know if I'll have time to write a new chapter then. While I'm on these holidays, I'm sure I'll have plenty of time to write more chapters, so I'll try to have at least one written up in a note book by the end to type up, but it will be a while before I update again. I'll try to make it almost as long and interesting as this though, ok? Good good.  
  
Anyway. Love, as always - Mai 


	34. Sirius, the Now Divorced, ExBastard

Denial  
  
Chapter 34 - Sirius, the Now-divorced, Ex-bastard  
  
*****  
  
"We've split." Oh yes! I will conquer. I am supreme, and Jessica is nil. Mwahahahahahahahaaaa!  
  
"Great." I replied, trying to keep hold of the phone to Sirius, in my now shaking hand (He was calling from a phone box). "Um... do you want to come round?" I suggested. It was the end of the Christmas holiday, and although I had had to go back to work on 27th December, Sirius wasn't returning to his Auror training until Monday. We had two days. That's not long. I had to cram in as much time with him as possible.  
  
"Well, I was wondering if we could go out somewhere together. Alone." He proposed. "If you can get someone to look after Ruby."  
  
"Yeah, ok. Hang on. Kira!" I called.  
  
"Yeeeahs?" Came Kira's voice from the kitchen. She came through to the hall.  
  
"Can you look after Ruby for me today. Please?" I begged, clasping my hands, while still trying to keep hold of the phone.  
  
"Probably, why?" She asked, before placing a Salt and Vinegar crisp in her mouth. I never liked Salt and Vinegar, and Ruby didn't either, so she got rid of our Salt and Vinegar crisps from multi-packs. She chose to regard it as her duty, and so had an excuse to eat them.  
  
"Um. Sirius and m need to talk. A lot." I replied. "Hang on a sec'. Sirius?" I asked, putting the receiver by my ear, "Can I tell Kira about... what happened?"  
  
"Ok... ok then."  
  
"Kira, Sirius split with Jessica." I told her softly.  
  
Kira's mouth formed into an 'O'. "Ok," She began slowly, "but you do realise he's probably just using you to get back at her." She told me quietly.  
  
"No it's not like th-" I whispered, but trailed off when I saw she wasn't convinced. "Oh, I'll explain later. Sirius?" I picked up the receiver.  
  
"Yes?" His voice said, down the phone.  
  
"Kira's looking after Ruby. Where are we going to go?"  
  
"I have no idea." He said determinedly.  
  
"Me neither." I imitated his tone. "So that's all good."  
  
"I suppose..." He began. But he said nothing beyond that.  
  
"You suppose what?"  
  
"Well, we could go to the Leaky Cauldron, or maybe the Three Broomsticks, and get a drink,"  
  
"Haven't been to the Three Broomsticks in yonks." I cut in.  
  
"Yonks?" He asked. I could here him smiling (I could!).  
  
"Yeah, yonks." I said, pretending to be put out at him laughing at my word.  
  
"Shall we go there then?" He offered.  
  
"Oright then." I said.  
  
"And then we can have a drink and then decide where to go." He concluded.  
  
"Good Plan."  
  
"Thank you. I am a Genius, after all." He said in a lofty voice.  
  
"But of course." I replied, humbly. "Well, I'll see you there in five minutes."  
  
"I'll go now, so we don't crash." He told me.  
  
"Bon idée."  
  
"Oui, je sais, je sais." He said, pretending to be modest, yet failing miserably at convincing me. The words for a start, ("Yes, I know, I know." In English) were enough to prove he was still as full of himself as ever.  
  
"Stop pretending you have a modest side, Sirius." I reprimanded.  
  
"Sorry. Bye bye. See you in a minute."  
  
"Byee." I said, hanging up. Then I picked up the receiver again to check he was gone. He was. I ran upstairs to change into a more suitable top, i.e. lower cut. And red. Which suited me better than blue. So all was happy. I found my bag, and money, and a mars bar from the kitchen, kissed Ruby goodbye, shoved a pile of floo powder in my bag, only vaguely acknowledging that it would get over everything in there, and would be very hard to recollect later, before flooing off to the Three Broomsticks.  
  
"You're three and a half minutes early." Said Sirius's voice, as I stepped out of the fireplace. In fact, if I recall correctly, it was actually Sirius who said "You're three and a half minutes early." But even if it wasn't, it was his voice.  
  
"And you have been clock watching, because you're so anxious to see me."  
  
"But of course." He said, imitating me, and bowing. He took my hand and kissed it. I smirked happily (such a thing is possible right?). He was mine. All mine! His hand moved itself to my waist, where it was joined by his other hand. I wrapped my arms around his neck and smiled.  
  
"We should move away from the fireplace." I suggested.  
  
"You're right."  
  
"I'm always right." I said raising my eyebrows.  
  
"Yes dear." Sirius said, putting on an old man's voice.  
  
"Oo, 'dear' now is it?" I questioned, pulling him gently away from the fire.  
  
"Yes dear." He repeated. He pecked me on the lips, then took my hand as we walked towards the bar. "A good old butterbeer then, dearie?" he asked.  
  
"I'll go for rosé, now I am no longer under the age of 18."  
  
"Sounds wise to me." Sirius said, nodding, and sitting down on a stool by the bar, "But may I remind you that we could have an entire night of drinking ahead of us." He said.  
  
"What, no sex?" I asked, dismayed.  
  
"'Fraid not darlin'! It's drink, drink, and more drink when you're with me. So, best start off with something light, eh? Two butterbeers please!" He called to Madam Rosmerta.  
  
"I could swear that last time it had been 'Drink, drink, and more drink, with a lot of sex on the side." I said, before talking a gulp of the delicious, but decidedly low alcohol butterbeer.  
  
"Well... yes, that's good too. Shall we go with that plan?"  
  
"Ok." I agreed, "So we'll get drunk, have sex, and expect Sapphire to come along in around 9 months."  
  
"Oh, please. Can't she at least get a chance in life?" He asked.  
  
"No." I interrupted, before he carried on: "Amber or Jade or something."  
  
"Hmmm... Something's a good name."  
  
"I agree. Something Sapphire Black then?"  
  
"Sounds brilliant." I replied. "I'll look forward to that." Sirius suddenly began laughing, and I soon followed. Quickly we broke into hysteria. Who had spiked our drinks was the question. And why. Eventually Sirius managed to breath again, and took a swig of butterbeer, before having another fit of laughter, and exploding, spewing the sticky substance all over the bar, himself, me, and a few unfortunate passers by. This only made me laugh harder, which made him laugh harder, which was unfortunate as he was already choking, and probably on the verge of dying, although that didn't seem an issue.  
  
"So..." I said, as we eventually calmed down, and Sirius stopped choking.  
  
"Don't make me laugh again. Otherwise I'll choke again, and then I'll die again, and we wouldn't want that." He said. This of course caused me to laugh again, causing him to laugh again, but he didn't choke this time. "Stop it." He said chuckling. Then his face suddenly turned serious. "Stop it." He said, catching my hand.  
  
"Ok." I said, sobering.  
  
"Good." He leaned in, and gently we started to kiss. T'was quite a short kiss. But a kiss none the less.  
  
"Mmmm. Butterbeer fresh breath." I said after a moment.  
  
"I could say the same for you." He said, taking another swig of said substance.  
  
"I'm sure you could," I replied, following suit, "But you wouldn't want to because I'm so fabulous."  
  
"Of course not." He said, humbly, "Wouldn't want to damage your over-inflated ego. You might explode."  
  
"Too right, I might." I said, loudly, before drinking the last of my butterbeer.  
  
"You drank that fast." Sirius observed. I glanced at his bottle. It was empty.  
  
"You drank yours faster." I informed him.  
  
"And irrelevant fact." He said, waving his hand dismissively. "So, rosé was it?"  
  
*****  
  
AN: I. Am. So. Sorry. I got sucked in byt the sumemr holidays, and then the start of school (nee :( ) so I haven't got this up. I actually finished it like four weeks ago but I wanted to write more so I didn't post it. Then I decided I couldn't think of anything else to write so I'm just posting this.  
  
I'm going to do thank yous though. But only for people who reviewed chapter 33 because otherwise it'll get too confusing.  
  
Here we go:  
  
Sam8 - HOW DID YOU KNOW THAT!? have you been stealing my brain?  
  
magicrules - ach. sorry  
  
sami potter - again. ach sorry.  
  
dizzyblonde - yup. finally. Ithey were meant to be together in like chapter 17. Hey ho.  
  
Ania Lupin - everyone should love it. It's written by ME after all :P thanks.  
  
little-lost-one - yey! yey! yey! (thanks also for helping to break me of the habit of saying "hooray")  
  
o0o-Sirius-o0o - yey! (yes!) god I bet you're appreciating this message.  
  
Padfoot4eva - yey! (I'm getting good at this)  
  
freakyfroggurl22 - I tried. I failed. Terribly sorry.  
  
Furies - ehr. Jessica. Who really cares.  
  
LuNaMoOn1 - well, see through twistiong things and such I can get a happy ending. It's all to do with my clever theory that when harry gets killed by voldemort (if he does) he'll still be better off. Anyway, when you put your fic up tell me!  
  
greenfairie - yey!  
  
Aalina - merci beaucoup (you dont know how long it took for me and matt to work out how to spell that)  
  
Melody - eep! sorry. I've updated now.  
  
bertiebottsgeorge - I know. Such twists and turns, eh?  
  
Annoriel - oh dear. I don't think I met your expectations.  
  
Lady K4 - ney! I like long reviews. I always feel guilty about leaving short ones because sometimes they get tedious. Yeah my writing... person (she doesn't like teachers, and she doesn't like being called one) always tells us to show not tell, so yeah. SHOW NOT TELL PEOPLE! And you've also given me someinteresting ideas... And something complicated is going to happen with the Order and Lily and James dying, but Chloe's point of veiw will continue long after it's meant to. I'm sorry I haven't updated in ages, but it's here now.  
  
Black-Lives-On - it's not quite going to happen like that (MAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAA!) And sorry, no sequel. No point once I get to where I'm going.  
  
Lady Matsu - nope, jessica has to suffer life. hmmm future lack of updating. dearie me.  
  
running out of ink - an odd feeling... ah... it might not be so odd... but don't worry it all turns out hunky dory in the end!  
  
Jo12 - but was this one?  
  
KeeperOfTheMoon - so many emotional people... I HAVE POWER!  
  
Lj - too right he is.  
  
Captain Oblivious - yeey! I like plays. I love plays. I'm not in any at the moment :(  
  
Miyukisetsu - god it took me three checks back to get all of your name. Then again I suppose mine's difficult too... Thanks for the review!  
  
Child of the Wolves - die jessica! I mean, live jessica! I mean.... evil. EVIL BE DONE TO YE JESSICA, YE SCALLIWAG!  
  
blackcandy - somehow I think I got your point. Didn't process it however, so I haven't updated soon.  
  
*****  
  
I must warn you things are going to be pretty fast paced from now on. Sorry, but I'm not in a taking my time mood. I can, however, reveal the first sentence of the next chapter (I pretend it's because I'm being generous, but actually it's because I want to keep you hanging on):  
  
"Here comes the bride-"  
  
There you go. I actually have the next three paragraphs planned already. I'll write them now!  
  
Toodles - Mai 


	35. Sirius, the Dead One

Denial  
  
Chapter 35 - Sirius, the Dead One  
  
*****  
  
"Here comes the bride-"  
  
"Hey!" Lily interrupted me. "I'm a bride too."  
  
"Yes but you're not coming. You're just sitting there. I, on the other hand- "  
  
"You're both the bride ok!" Kira said loudly, causing me to be interrupted for the second time in about 10 seconds.  
  
"Nuh uh." Lily said, shaking her head, as Kira shook glitter over about 100 invitations, "We're both the Bride-S. There's two of us."  
  
"Yeah, whatever." Kira said, emptying the entire contents of the small, plastic, glitter tube. "Um, there are about twenty who didn't get any of the glitter, what do I do now?" She asked, as I waltzed over to her to inspect her work.  
  
"Shake off the excess glitter onto the ones with no glitter." I suggested, gingerly picking one up, and showing her. I helped her do the rest and finally shake all the leftover silver into the bin. Once we were done I threw myself down on the sofa, and slumped next to her.  
  
"Can I have a fag now?" She asked as I got myself comfortable. I rolled my eyes.  
  
"Fine. But try to get rid of the smell before you come back to the invitations. They have to be perfect."  
  
Kira in turn rolled her eyes, as she pulled herself to her feet. "I'm sure they'll smell fine. Calm down. It's just a wedding."  
  
But yeah right I was going to calm down! I was getting married, married, married, married, married! To Sirius, no less! He'd asked me over his summer break! And not only that we were having a double wedding with Lily and James. It was cheesy, yeah, but Lily liked the idea, and it cut costs, and would bring in more guests and make us look more popular. Of course that didn't matter so much. I was getting married to Sirius! Sirius! Sirius! Sirius!  
  
Kira and Ruby were the bridesmaids, of course. We were getting it all arranged because it was on (guess when. go on, guess. Have you? Really?) Halloween! It seemed kind of spooky at first, but at least it means there's no way you can forget your anniversary, right? Ooh it was going to be so good!  
  
There was worrying news as well. News on a wider scale. Some evil guy was ruling a group of terrorists, and they were going around killing people, and being racist and such. Sirius, as an auror (or at least a future one) had to go out and fight him, and find out stuff about him and his followers and such. I was worried. Very worried. But I had the 'it couldn't happen to us' opinion planted in my head by Lily and Kira, so it was all jolly once more.  
  
As I'd vowed, I wasn't wearing a white dress. Purple. Lily had decided on Pale lilac to fit in, and the bridesmaids were wearing a colour somewhere in the middle. James and Sirius had concocted a strange arrangement where they were each other's best man (I had no idea how it worked, but hey-ho).  
  
I sighed and started to collect the invitations and stack them into two neat piles (the first was threatening to fall over). As I'd almost finished James wandered into the room humming vaguely.  
  
"Bloody wedding." He muttered when he saw what we were doing. Lily raised her eyebrows.  
  
"Despite the fact that it's on Halloween, I doubt that it will, and hope that it won't, be bloody."  
  
James smirked, and sat down on the floor next to Lily sewing. He put his arm around her waist and pulled her towards him. "Not unless I kill Sirius for being a prick." He said quietly.  
  
"If you do that I'll kill you." I stated plainly.  
  
"And if you kill him," Lily moved her head towards James "I'll kill you."  
  
"And Lily will be the victor. Damnation." I thought to myself for a moment. "Ah, yes, but if I can get Sirius to kill James first then I'll be the victor!"  
  
"And Sirius will be dead." James pointed out flatly.  
  
"True... perhaps nobody should kill anybody." I decided finally.  
  
"I thought that was the original plan." James said.  
  
"You see. You should always follow your first instincts." I advised them.  
  
"What?" Lily's face crumpled as she frowned. "Follow your instincts? What are you on about?" I "humphed." and turned away. I didn't care if they didn't know what I was on about. At least I did. That was all that mattered.  
  
Just then Ruby stumbled into the room. "Mum." She said, almost timidly.  
  
"Yeahs?" I asked, leaning towards her. She climbed over the arm of the sofa, sat next to me, and began to chew the ear of a small, blue, rabbit soft-toy.  
  
"Mummy, I don't want to wear a purple dress to be a brides maid." She said quietly.  
  
"Why's that?" I asked.  
  
"It's girly." She said wrinkling her nose. I smiled. Somehow, despite 'not liking girly things' she still managed to quite happily wear a flowery dress every day. At least she didn't like Cindy or hot pink. She was already on track for the tomboy phase. What joy and larks.  
  
"What colour do you want then?" I asked, smiling sweetly.  
  
"Blue." She said, now confident I wasn't angry.  
  
"Would you mind terribly if it was just a bluer shade of purple? It's only one day after all, and it's very special." I said, still smiling.  
  
"Ok." She mumbled, obviously disappointed. She'd survive though. I sighed happily.  
  
Getting married to Sirius!  
  
*****  
  
AN:/ Oh Dear God. Sorry that took about five years. Sorry it's short. Sorry it's kinda crap. I told you that eventually I'd slow down dramatically. I'll try to speed up, but it may not work. There's still quite a way to go. I'd say at least. ok five chapters, that's not very many, but you know what happens with me and saying how many chapters there are going to be. The number always manages to get extended. I can't guarantee it will this time, but you know. Anyway, a lot of stuff will happen in those chapters, and something I don't think you're expecting is going to happen. You can guess though. Go on. Guess. Please? Just for the hell of it?  
  
Moving on. thank yous:  
  
Nothing lasts forever: A speak a bit of French. A little bit. I did it for three years but then because the German teachers at my school are generally better than the French ones I stuck with German and dropped French. I still speak some French though: Je ne parle pas francais. Bon! I'm glad you like this fic. I like people who like it.  
  
Zeldagrl436: I think you should marry Remus. And leave Sirius for me. ;)  
  
Melody  
  
Elvencherry07  
  
Bertiebottsgeorge: I prefer long reviews. They're more fun. I think you should update Drunk Love. I want to know what happens with Sirius's memory.  
  
Froggy1  
  
Sam8: Thanks for reminding me about Voldemort. He will feature a lot in like two or three chapters *cough*  
  
Sarah Embry  
  
MWPPMoonyPadfootProngs  
  
Lady K4: Oh dear. I hope you didn't drop off the cliff while you were waiting. I'd feel guilty. Not that guilty though. :p I suggest you don't hang off cliffs any more.  
  
Gryffindor-rox  
  
Jo12: I hope it will fit in with the books. Might be a bit out.  
  
Child of the Wolves: Oh dear. I'm even less perfect now then, right? Oh deary me. Your perception of what was going on was a little out. I hope you don't mind the surprise.  
  
Captain Oblivious  
  
Running out of ink  
  
Freakyfroggurl22  
  
Lady Matsu  
  
Aalina  
  
Lj  
  
oOo-Sirius-oOo: Ach. I'm still posting! Only. slowly.  
  
Ok, that's it. I'll post as soon as I can. possibly. anyway, bye.  
  
- Mai 


	36. Sirius, the Oh Spiked One

Denial  
  
Chapter 36 - Sirius, the Oh Spiked One  
  
*****  
  
My beam almost made my face burst.  
  
"Do you take Sirius Ewan Black to be your lawfully wedded husband?" Did they even have to ask quite frankly? It was quite hard to keep myself from exploding - from delight of course - as I said "I do!"  
  
"You may now kiss the brides." My smile grew. This was rather awkward, as it made kissing difficult. Sirius seemed to be having the same problem, and I was too preoccupied to even snatch a glance at how Lily and James were getting on. I was married to Sirius! Married! To! Sirius! This was the best day of my life. I know most people's best day of their lives is when their child is born, but, much as giving birth to Ruby (minus the pain) was very pleasurable, the rest of that day in general wasn't all that brilliant. And anyway, it was all kind of hazy as Sirius picked me up and carried me out of the hall. I gently fingered his spikes, trying not to mess them up. He made no comment, surely a first for him. I hadn't even had to ask him to keep them for our wedding. I don't know whether he remembered the prediction as well, or he just wanted to have spiky hair this time, it meant that this was his foretold destiny. Cheesy, maybe, but I really couldn't have cared less.  
  
As I rested my head on his lap as the car drove us to the reception I had "He loves me, yeah, yeah, yeah! He loves me, yeah, yeah, yeah!" kind of jumping about inside my head. I'd always disliked those lyrics as they seemed too unimaginative, but now I knew that it didn't matter. They were exactly how I felt.  
  
I felt breathless. Really breathless. Unbelievably happy to be alive, and to be married to Sirius. He was smiling down at me, and gently stroking my neck with a finger. "Oh, I love you." He sighed. Suddenly the volume of "He loves me, yeah, yeah, yeah!" went right up, and I could feel myself shaking. "You ok?" He asked, frowning a little but still beaming.  
  
"I'm just so happy, and I love you so much." I said, shakily, as he pulled me into a tight hug. I sighed contentedly. Well, more than contentedly, but you know. This was what hugging some one for as long as you wanted was. The power of a hug is truly astounding, and we didn't leave each other's embrace until the driver pulled up outside the restaurant we were having our reception. We'd had to keep the wedding quite muggle because of the muggle guests, but muggle or wizard, it didn't matter. I was married to Sirius. I was officially Mrs Chloe Black. Oh, it felt so good.  
  
Plus Ruby no longer came from a broken home. It had hardly been a home in the first place, but that was beside the point. Now the home was well and truly fixed. Speaking of homes, Sirius had sold Jessica their old house, and I'd sold my half of my house with Kira to Kira, and we were looking for a house together, meanwhile renting a small flat nearby where Sirius had used to live.  
  
Sirius took my hand, and helped me out of the car, and we climbed the steps together. Lily and James had arrived just before us, and were already standing in the entrance hall waiting to greet the guests. We stood opposite them, and stared around at each other grinning manically until Lily burst out "We're married Chloe!" And ran over to hug me, very tightly. I didn't really care though. I was as happy as she was. If not more so. She and James had clearly been destined to marry, but Sirius had gone and foolishly married Jessica.  
  
Actually we had been destined to marry. but I still never thought it would happen.  
  
"Hey." Said James as we broke apart. "I thought we were married." He said, pointing to Lily, and then to himself.  
  
"Yeah, how come you never told me about your true sexuality." Sirius asked me, just as Kira, cradling Ruby in her arms, came in.  
  
"What's this about true sexuality?" Kira asked, standing in the doorway.  
  
"Never mind." I said, giggling.  
  
"What's Sekshalty?" Ruby asked, frowning.  
  
"Never mind." Kira said loftily.  
  
There was a short silence.  
  
"Oh my God you're married!" Kira said, rushing over to give Ruby to Sirius, and hug me, almost as tightly as Lily did, before hugging Lily, James, then Sirius (Ruby getting slightly squashed in the process) before going to stand by Lily. Together they began to chat excitedly about how the wedding had gone. I decided it would be more fun to get off with Sirius instead (which I'm sure Ruby enjoyed, but I couldn't have cared less).  
  
About halfway through our kiss we heard a disturbance outside, and stopped abruptly.  
  
"Just go in, Remus!"  
  
"No, I don't think we're meant to-"  
  
"Yes we are! Go in."  
  
"No."  
  
"Oh my God, at least check."  
  
"No, because we shouldn't go in until they're all here, because it's their wedding."  
  
"Fine, I'll check then."  
  
The next moment Peter's head popped around the door.  
  
"Oh, Reeemuuus." We heard a low grunt from outside. "They're in here already. Dumbass."  
  
"You clutter this fine day with foul words." Sirius gasped as Remus sidled in, blushing a little.  
  
"Perhaps I do." Suggested Peter, walking to stand beside James.  
  
"Cor Blimey, Remus." I said in a cockney accent. "What on earth was all that about? You stupid or summat?"  
  
Remus looked around shiftily. "No, not really."  
  
"I don't believe him meself." I said.  
  
"Oh yeah!" Remus suddenly burst out, interrupting me.  
  
"I remember. I am a moron!" Sirius exclaimed, imitating him.  
  
"No, I was thinking more that congratulations were in order. If I remember correctly you just got married to this lovely lady here." Remus said gesturing to me. "Well done mate." He said clapping Sirius on the back, and hugging me. "And you." He said doing the same with Lily and James. "Although I couldn't describe your lady as lovely." He whispered loudly to Lily.  
  
"Hey, I'm a very lovely lady." James protested as Peter began to do the same as Remus.  
  
"Don't count on it." Remus advised.  
  
*****  
  
"Dad, why are your teeth blue?"  
  
This was just freaky. My dad (who had done me the great honour of turning up to my wedding) had gone outside five minutes earlier, and now he'd come back in with blue teeth. Not a normal occurrence.  
  
My dad froze momentarily, before blinking twice in quick succession and saying "Shit, they're still blue?"  
  
"Yes, they are most definitely still blue." I informed him.  
  
"I'll go and clean them again. I ran out of Dazzle just yesterday." Dazzle was a wizard brand of toothpaste, was it not? As my dad began to walk away I asked again;  
  
"Dad, why are your teeth blue?" He stopped still.  
  
"Well, why do you think?" He asked, before turning around and heading off to the gent's.  
  
I blinked a number of times and turned to Sirius who was of course sitting beside me.  
  
"Do you have any idea why my dad's teeth are blue?"  
  
Sirius thought for a moment. "He's either been chewing Drooble's, or he's been smoking Black Slash." He told me.  
  
"And Black Slash is? Class A illegal drugs?" I asked, raising my eyebrows.  
  
"No, fruit flavoured cigarettes with coloured smoke." Sirius explained. "Hell to get off your teeth. Not that I've ever had to but James had a nasty incident once when Snape reported him to have been smoking, 'cause he came in with orange teeth. He almost beat my detention record with the number he got for that."  
  
"Wizard made, right?" Sirius nodded. "But dad's a muggle. And how come Kira doesn't smoke them?"  
  
Sirius shrugged, and put an arm round me. "Here's a suggestion. Why don't you ask your dad why his teeth are blue?" He proposed.  
  
"I did. He ignored my question. Twice. Well, second time he just asked me why I thought they were in a 'isn't it obvious?' way. Then he went off to clean them again, because apparently it didn't work properly the first time." I muttered.  
  
"Drooble's comes off easy." Sirius commented.  
  
"So you think he's been smoking this fruit thing?"  
  
"When he comes back see if he smells of fruit."  
  
"Ok." I sat thinking for a moment. I needed someone muggle born. And with some sort of brain. So they would remember stuff. Such as. Lily! Mais oui. "Lily?" I said, leaning over Sirius's lap.  
  
"Yes?" She said, snapping her head round to me.  
  
"What muggle things make your teeth go blue?"  
  
Lily frowned in confusion but didn't question my sanity - not out loud at least. "Uh, blue lollipops? They make your tongue go blue anyway. Blue paint?" Oh yes, because my dad is not crazy, he has simply painted his teeth blue. As you do. Well I do. On a regular basis.  
  
About 30 seconds later the father returned sporting newly gleaming teeth - snow white. I turned to him and began breathing heavily through my nose. He did indeed smell of fruit.  
  
"Dad. Why are your teeth blue?" I tried again.  
  
"We've been through this." He sighed.  
  
"No we haven't." I stated simply.  
  
"Why do you think they're blue? How many ways can you think of to make your teeth blue?" He said, exasperatedly.  
  
"Um. four. And quite frankly the most likely seems to be that you painted them blue. Which I can assure you seems a foolish thing to do."  
  
"I'm not that stupid." He told me.  
  
"You ate a blue lollipop?"  
  
"No."  
  
"But the other two are impossible." I said, despairing. "Well, not impossible just exceedingly unlikely." I said, correcting myself before he or Sirius could.  
  
"What are they?"  
  
"You've been chewing Drooble's,"  
  
"Don't like gum." He said, interrupting. I decided that for the time being I'd let it slip that he knew what Drooble's was.  
  
"Or, you've been smoking Black Slash."  
  
"Well that took you long enough." He said, sighing in relief.  
  
I was very confused however.  
  
"Wu- Bu- Ha- Uh. I'm so confused." I groaned. "How did you get hold of Black Slash, when I'm a witch, and I never heard of it before Sirius explained to me just now."  
  
There was a long silence. Dad froze, I frowned, and Sirius glanced from one of us to the other.  
  
"You mean your mother's kept you in the dark all this time?"  
  
"I don't know. But that implies that she has." I said.  
  
"Oh."  
  
"So, would you like to tell me what's going on?"  
  
"Erm. Perhaps." He decided.  
  
"Go on then." I said, very curious, and still utterly confused, though I was beginning to get some idea.  
  
"I'm a wizard?" He offered.  
  
"Really. That explains my entire life then. Thank you. So, how come I don't know?"  
  
"I don't know. I thought your mum had told you. Especially after you started at Hogwarts. Perhaps she was waiting until Toby was old enough. Perhaps she just didn't want you to know."  
  
"How rude." I commented. But I wasn't particularly angry. A little annoyed, of course, that I'd had this secret kept from me for eighteen years, but all in all I'm the type of person who is so excited by finding out secrets - especially as massive as this - that forgetting that it's been kept from me is no problem. It wasn't dad's fault anyway, and I'm sure mum had her reasons. Even if it was just that she didn't want us to know. she'd have reasons for not wanting us to know. And that seemed fair enough.  
  
After all everyone's different.  
  
*****  
  
AN/: Wahoo! Another chapter! Aren't you proud of me? Twice as long as the last one. Twice as long as it was going to be. It still didn't take two months! God, I'm good.  
  
I hope you enjoyed the second part. That took a lot of genius thinking. Actually her dad was never going to turn out to be a wizard before, I just wanted him to come in, and needed something I could make a story of. Don't you just want blue teeth? No? Really? Oh. Fine.  
  
Anyway, much thanks to all who reviewed:  
  
Miyukisetsu  
  
Zeldagrl436  
  
Nothing lasts forever - I don't have any chocolate chips or mustard. Sorry.  
  
Lady K4 - they're my three favourite colours as well! :O  
  
ANNE( v )79 - Have you read Order of the Phoenix? I wanted to ask just in case. It was called Sirius the Dead One because of the little thingie-ma- bobby where James killed Sirius so Chloe killed James so Lily killed Chloe.  
  
Aalina  
  
Elvencherry07  
  
Sweetgirl  
  
Captain Oblivious - Here you go! Here, here, here! Told you I'd update, even in it isn't as soon as I said it might be.  
  
MWPPMoonyPadfootProngs - Both Sirius and Remus in this one.  
  
Freakygroggurl22 - a blue lollipop?  
  
Lady Matsu  
  
Magicrules  
  
A lot of people apparently got worried when they saw the title of the last chapter. Hah hah. Moving swiftly on, I do hope you review, I do hope you try your hardest to give me an interesting review, and I do enjoy suggestions and predictions.  
  
Love Mai 


	37. Sirius, the Fabulous Father Christmas

Denial  
  
Chapter 37 - Sirius, the Fabulous Father Christmas  
  
*****  
  
"I am pregnant! I am pregnant! Preggy weggy pregnant. Whooooooo! Whoo whoo whoo! Preggy preggy preggynant! I aaam pregnant! Preggers! Aye, I'm preggers! Preggers weggers meggers, preggers! No more periods! No more periods! Suck on that! Preggeeeers! Preggers preggers preggers! Whoooooooo!"  
  
"Morning sickness! Big fat belly! Giving birth! Preggers! Yeah! My favourite thing."  
  
"Shhhhh, You'll hurt its feelings." Lily said, rubbing her still very flat stomach.  
  
"No I won't, it doesn't understand English." I groaned. Lily had just found out she was pregnant, and it was killing me. Killing me, I tell you. James was happy, Kira was in a reasonable frame of mind, but Lily was unbearable. She insisted on dancing around, and singing, and yelling "I'm preggers people. Preggers!" at random moments to random people. "James?" I whined, "Is there anything you could do to shut her up?"  
  
James rose an eyebrow as Lily skipped towards him. "Probably." He said, before kissing her full on the lips, very slowly and passionately. It shut her up, but it wasn't exactly pleasant to watch.  
  
"So Kira," I said, turning away, "How shall we best ignore them?"  
  
"Actually, I'm going now." She said, standing up.  
  
"Where?"  
  
"Out." She said simply, picking up her handbag from the arm of the sofa.  
  
"Oh. Is that the way it is? You sound like a moody teenager."  
  
Kira's face turned to mock outrage, "Don't you dare call me names like that! It's none of your business where I'm going! I have my own life, and you can't tell me what to do! You don't care about me anyway!" She stamped her foot and left, calling "See you later." In her normal voice.  
  
"What was that about?" James asked, still keeping a tight hold of Lily, who showed no signs of struggling.  
  
"Nothing." I said, "Do either of you know where Kira's going?"  
  
"She has a date." Lily quickly informed me.  
  
"And why wasn't I told of this?" Lily shrugged. "Fair enough." I said. "So, Lily, my dear. Do you want Ruby's old baby stuff?"  
  
Lily thought for a moment. "Well," she began, "Yours are a bit out of date and I want my baby to be the height of fashion like Ruby was, and I don't know if it's a boy or a girl yet, so... we'll see." She finished.  
  
"Lily," I pressed, "think about how much money you have. Now think about how much Ruby's baby clothes will cost you (ie. Nothing), now think about the question again. Now what do you say?"  
  
"I say," Lily began slowly, "can I have Ruby's baby clothes please."  
  
"And the rest of the stuff?"  
  
"Yeah, ok then."  
  
"Bearing in mind I expect you to give it back if I get pregnant again."  
  
"As long as you don't get pregnant within a few months, that's fine and dandy."  
  
"Jolly good."  
  
"Bon."  
  
"Oui."  
  
"Alors-"  
  
"Stop talking in French." James cut in. Lily and I both hung our heads in shame.  
  
*****  
  
Christmas. A time for family. And a family we were. A big happy one. Well, pretty much. At least me and Ruby and Sirius were, and Lily and James and lump were, and Kira was, and Remus was, and Peter was. God, they had massive families, they did. So my family, and Lily's family joined forces and let the family rejects tag along. Because we're kind. And caring.  
  
Anyway, as I was saying: Christmas.  
  
Sirius and I had just bought a new house, humble as it was, so we got everyone (and this year it was everyone) round for Christmas day.  
  
On the morning of said day me and Sirius were up first when Ruby woke us at 5:30 in the morning. Everyone else was still upstairs. Ruby tried to persuade us to wake them up, but we managed to convince her it was too early. All the same she still wanted to start opening her presents so we let her empty her stocking. I say stocking, I mean one of Sirius's socks. We'd given her a large red one, which she accepted as a fine and splendid stocking. I'd made sure it was clean, don't worry.  
  
James came down at half seven, wearing a very tall wizards hat, made of green felt, with large yellow spots, and small purple rabbits running around the brim. I was in the kitchen when he came down, and saw him first. I became worried that when Ruby saw the hat she would literally explode into little pieces, but I was relieved to see that after shooting out of the living room like a bullet, straight into 'Unkie James' almost knocking the hat off, she was still in one piece. The rabbits staggered a bit, and one slipped off, but I bent down and carefully placed it back on the hat, where it proceeded to run around again.  
  
Of course, as soon as James set foot in the front room Ruby pestered us to get everyone up to open the presents again. Most of them were hers anyway. But, the harsh and cruel parents that we are, we refused once again. We wouldn't even let her open one (actually James thought she should be allowed to, but I'm a great believer in Christmas - and present givings in general - being more fun when everyone's there, so they can either find out what's in all the presents, not just their own, and so they can see the looks of pure joy when Christmas presents are opened which they have given. And so they can compete over whose is best, I suppose).  
  
So anyway, by eight Lily had got her arse downstairs, and I could hear Peter shuffling around in the back room, which he was sharing with Remus. I also heard when Peter stepped on Remus's head, and he yelled very loudly. It was quite funny really.  
  
Soon the only one not up was Kira, and Ruby was getting impatient, and over excited, so I let her go and wake Kira up, seeing as I was getting bored too. We'd already eaten quite a lot of chocolate from various sources, and me and Sirius had started cooking Christmas dinner.  
  
By eight thirty the front room was in ruins. Not that it had been particularly fabulous in the first place, but any sense of dignity it held had been demolished by Ruby's (and Sirius's actually) unwrapping techniques.  
  
Actually you should have seen her face when she unwrapped her present from Father Christmas. We'd made sure we hadn't used the same wrapping paper for any other presents. We had got her an inexpensive watch, with a blue strap, decorated with turquoise butterflies, and glittery hands. And she loved it. It was just a watch, but she'd wanted one so much, and she just ran to us shouting about how Father Christmas had got her a watch, and got me to put it on for her, and said that she would never take it off.  
  
And that made me feel really good, knowing I could do something so good for my daughter.  
  
*****  
  
AN: Christmas will continue next chapter. Sorry for the slow update. It's just I thought there was nothing that could happen at Christmas, but then I realised that what I had to do was really very simple.  
  
Which makes life easier for me because I don't have to apply any brain power.  
  
Well not much.  
  
Anyway - thanks ahoy!  
  
Angel76 - fabulous! I love people who die by suffocation :P  
  
Jo12 - I'm surprised I made Chloe overreact so much actually. How odd. Oh well.  
  
Bertiebottsgeorge - Faaaaabulous. The matrix. I need to see revolutions.  
  
Crazed Author1 - BLUE TEETH FOR PRESIDENT!  
  
Chocolate Taco - I don't speak French in the slightest. All my teachers were so bad. I only say random words like "Bon" and "Alors" except no-one seems to know the word "Alors" except people who were in Mr Carnall's class which is slightly worrying.  
  
Nothing lasts forever - sorry about the lack of hot sex, but here's the chapter.  
  
Lady K4 - Don't worry. Despite the fact that supposedly stories (only in general) should have three climaxes, each one bigger than the other, and I've probably had far more than three, and the one coming up won't really end up as big as some, there is still more story content to come, and I can't be sure how much. Although I am going to kind of be rushing it until the next climax, but shhhh..  
  
Amritos - More fabulous reviewers. Bono.  
  
Annoriel - Madder Red. By myself, sorry to disappoint you. The full lyrics are on fictionpress if you care. Same name and id.  
  
Sam8 - er. possibly. I mean, of course not!  
  
Susan B - oh dear. Tired eyes, never a good thing. Stops you doing history homework at 11 o'clock at night. Or history projects until 5:00 in the morning, because you were a fool and didn't do them when you should have done.  
  
Elvencherry07 - BLUE TEETH FOR PRESIDENT!  
  
Mary - yeah, I get pissed with Harry Ron and Hermione stories.  
  
Zeldagrl436 - BLUE TEETH FOR PRESIDENT!  
  
Captain Oblivious - BLUE TEETH FOR PRESIDENT! (have I made my point yet?)  
  
Child of the Wolves - Sirius can't die. He can't. He's not dead to this day. He never died, and will never. However eventually he may have to for the purposes of fiction and a happy ending.  
  
Aalina - and this was slooooooooooooooow.  
  
Sami Potter - BLUE TEETH FOR PRESIDENT! (Apparently not)  
  
Freakyfroggurl22 - BLUE TEETH FOR PRESIDENT! AND WAFFLES!  
  
Magicrules - German is quality.Oh yes I have German tomorrow! (and if you think I love German because I love learning German - therefore probably thinking I'm a retard - that isn't the retard. It's because I'm making a Dictionary or Pine (Pine is the German teacher) and he says all these fabulous things like "You're a mega-prune" and "If you see any caterpillars tell me!" and those are only a taster.)  
  
PRoNgSmOoNyPaDfOoT - your name is difficult to type. BLUE TEETH FOR PRESIDENT!  
  
Gryffindor-rox - BLUE TEETH FOR PRESIDENT!  
  
ANNE( v )79 - . I'll come to that when I come to it.  
  
- Mai 


	38. Sirius, the Happy

Denial  
  
Chapter 38 - Sirius, the Happy  
  
*****  
  
Time: 11:23 am. Area: the kitchen. People: Myself and Sirius.  
  
Perhaps we were supposed to be making Christmas dinner, but who am I to resist Sirius when we are alone together, and Ruby is preoccupied.  
  
I am Chloe, who is not one to resist Sirius, that's who I am.  
  
Thus, I had no objections to stopping chopping up beans when Sirius's arms slowly encircled my waist, and he start to softly kiss my neck. I simply turned around, and wrapped my arms around his neck, kissing his chin in return.  
  
"Mmm, you know what?" He mumbled.  
  
"What?" I asked.  
  
"I love you. So very much."  
  
"Well, tough 'cause I don't love you." I muttered, smirking.  
  
He gasped. "How could you? After all we've been through."  
  
"Ok, ok, I love you." I admitted.  
  
"All is well with the world." He said, sighing. Then we started to kiss slowly.  
  
And I felt happy.  
  
And that was good.  
  
*****  
  
Time: 11:45 am. Area: the hall. People: Kira and Matt (strange young man Kira picked up), and myself, peeping in from the kitchen, while Sirius tried to sort out the beans.  
  
The scene began when the doorbell rang. Kira had answered it - I think she knew who it was, perhaps she saw his car or something - and in walked a man who seemed exactly as Kira had described him. He was very tall, probably nearing 7 foot (luckily Kira was pretty tall too, otherwise they might have looked a bit hilarious together) he had shoulder length medium-brown hair, skin which was a little lighter, and eyes which were a little darker. His face was angular, and his fingers rather long. He was wearing black jeans, ad a black jacket with a khaki green t-shirt underneath.  
  
This was Kira's new man.  
  
They'd met at some party a lot of us had gone to, when he'd asked her for a light. Then he introduced her to those black slash things. And she was teaching him not to smoke weed so much (that was as far as his drug habits went.) . (well apart from alcohol and caffeine, but you know, they're legal).  
  
Anyway, she stared at him for a second (probably lovingly, but I couldn't really see) and then threw are thin arms around his neck, and he wrapped his arms around her and they hugged and rocked for a while. Then he pecked her on the lips, and she turned around, and they put their arms in more comfortable positions to wander into the front room together, at which point I darted back into the kitchen so they wouldn't know I'd been watching them.  
  
And they were happy.  
  
*****  
  
Time: 3:06 pm. Area: front room. People: Many. Wait. nine I could list them, but you'd get bored. But I suppose the scene taking place was just Lily and James, with me watching, because it was fascinating.  
  
James and Lily were hogging the sofa. James was sitting normally, and Lily was lying over his knee, with her legs taking up the rest of the space. James had his hand resting on her still pretty much flat stomach. They were just kind of staring at each other. That was the first fascinating thing. I was waiting for one of them to move or say something. Eventually Lily sat up on James's lap and they kissed. I decided to avert my eyes at that moment. I didn't need to see them to know what they were doing.  
  
At least neither of them were too ugly (although possibly to someone who didn't know them too well. no, I'm joking, they're both fine).  
  
I mean, no offence, (well, ok, there is offence in this, but I'm choosing to ignore that fact) but I wouldn't want to see Peter get off with anybody. It would just be unpleasant.  
  
And when I looked back at Lily and James they were just sitting there holding each other. And they actually looked really sweet.  
  
And very happy.  
  
*****  
  
Time: 5:27 pm. Area: front room. People: Ruby, James, Peter, Remus, and me.  
  
While they others were pottering around in the kitchen, drinking wine - well, Lily wasn't - we were in the front room, playing with Ruby. She was wearing James's hat, which he had discarded earlier, and she had picked off one of the rabbits, and was stroking it, and had made an enclosure for it with various presents. James was watching her, ready to intervene if she started being cruel to it, but she was being really quite careful.  
  
Eventually she grew bored of the rabbit, and helped it back onto the hat. Then she picked up a game that James and Lily had foolishly bought her - Kerplunk.  
  
She ordered us all to play - I grouped with James as there were only supposed to be four players. Remus decided to lose on purpose (wisely, because Ruby would have been angry is too many people beat her), Peter wasn't very good, and, unluckily for him, had no choice but to pull out a straw with about five marbles resting on it, near the end, but me and James beat her quite easily.  
  
I used the excuse that two heads were better than one.  
  
Then she demanded that next time I had to be on her team.  
  
And immediately she started to set it up again.  
  
This game she was determined to win. She always looked really carefully for the best straw to pull out, and got annoyed when I found a better one, but I mostly let her pull them out, so she believed that she had made us win really, and she was so happy when we only had three marbles at the end, and everyone else had about fifty.  
  
Well, James had six, but still.  
  
She was happy. That was all that mattered.  
  
*****  
  
AN: That is Christmas.  
  
There will be a time jump next chapter.  
  
About six months.  
  
Which isn't all that shocking.  
  
It's just, nothing much happens in that time.  
  
I'm just sorting out some stuff with new characters suddenly appearing out of the blue (ie. Matt) for future stuffness. But. oh well, I'm writing the next chapter already. I hope you enjoyed this one - thankyou's:  
  
Meanmeg3, zeldagrl436, Captain Oblivious, elvencherry07, Chocolate Taco, Gryffindor-rox, freakyfroggurl22, Angel76, Aalina, magicrules  
  
I understand that this hasn't been the longest of chapters, and not all that much happened, but it was necessary. There are about five sentences - I believe - which may help explain why, and possibly what is to come.  
  
In a way.  
  
Anyway, I'll toodle off now. Tata mushes! 


	39. Sirius, the Latecomer

Denial  
  
Chapter 39 - Sirius, the Latecomer  
  
*****  
  
June the 21st, 1980, Lily was eight months pregnant, and it was exactly a week until Ruby's fifth birthday. Sirius was coming home from Auror training that night, and taking a week's holiday so that he'd be there for his daughter's birthday. Ruby was so excited, and displayed the energy only a four-turning-five-year-old could. In other words; a lot. She barely took a step without it becoming a skip or a bounce or a twirl.  
  
I'd managed to turn one of her petticoats into a fairy costume, with some blue ribbon, some purple lace, and about fifty little sew-on roses, in various colours. I'd bought her some white and silver fairy wings, a fake garland of roses, and a silver shawl from a charity shop, and made her a wand from a painted chopstick and a piece of tinsel. It was for the fancy dress party she was having next weekend with some of her friends from school (she'd started last year in September).  
  
She was wearing the costume right now and dancing around with her friend Carly who had come round. Carly was a small, blonde girl with curly hair, pale skin, and dark blue eyes. She was wearing a dark blue flowery dress that she'd borrowed from Ruby (as her cruel mother was harsh and gave her daughter no flowery dresses. Fashion can wait people) and singing Disney songs.  
  
I was in the kitchen, with Kira, Matt, and two of Matt's friends Ali, and Raphael (who weren't a couple, by the way). Ali was tall with long, dark, bushy hair, a thin face, and she had (for some reason) a tendency to wear green. Raphael was almost as tall as Matt, with odd medium length slightly wavy brown hair, and a friendly face and funny shaped fingers (sorry, they were just odd). Kira and Matt were still together after about seven months.  
  
Actually I felt rather short, standing there amongst them. And I'd never been particularly short before. I'd never been particularly tall either, but here I was in a room of tall people, dwarfed by them.  
  
It seemed very harsh.  
  
Luckily Matt was going soon (him being the tallest) because he had a Job Interview later for a Job he really wanted. Something to do with the music industry. I can't be sure what. He was a big music fan. Rock in particular. I think it was something to do with the Wizarding Wireless Network.  
  
The five of us had just finished a packet of chocolate biscuits and were about to start on another, when Ruby and Carly rushed into the room, with Ruby shouting at the top of her voice that they were bored and had run out of things to do.  
  
I scratched my head, and stroked my imaginary beard (at the same time. I was fun, and it made Ruby think that I was thinking) ... (Well, I was thinking, but it made sure Ruby knew).  
  
"How about ... you do some drawing." I suggested.  
  
"Did that." Ruby and Carly said together, mechanically. Little kids, eh.  
  
"Well..." I didn't have much of an imagination when it came to thinking of things to do.  
  
"How about you make a two man band together and make instruments from bottles and things, and sing." Ali said.  
  
"Don't have anything to play with and make music." Ruby said.  
  
"Make things to play with from bottles and boxes and stuff." Ali repeated.  
  
Ruby glanced at Carly who shrugged and wrinkled her nose. "Nah." She said conclusively, turning back to me. What can we do, mum?" She whined.  
  
"I suppose you could paint some massive pictures on the walls of the kitchen with acrylics, seeing as we're going to repaint it soon." I said slowly, my mind still on art. Ruby looked at Carly excitedly, who smiled in return.  
  
"Ok." Ruby said quickly.  
  
"Just don't get paint everywhere." I said, suddenly doubting my suggestion.  
  
"We won't." Ruby promised, "Can you find the paints for us please?"  
  
I sighed, and went upstairs to get my paints and brushes.  
  
*****  
  
An hour and a half later, a long time after Matt had left, and once Ruby and Carly had thoroughly coated the kitchen - walls and various other surfaces and appliances - in multi-coloured paint they finally decided they were bored again. I told them to watch TV - it was almost children's hour, only ten minutes till three.  
  
I and my good mushes viewed the kitchen in wonder. They'd painted numerous pictures of fairies, fish, monsters, and even one of a vampire, a few butterflies were darting about (not actually darting about of course, but they looked kind of like they were) and for some reason Ruby had drawn an apple and an orange. In the blank space further up where they couldn't reach they'd asked me to write "Happy Birthday Ruby" in preparation for her birthday party, in rainbow coloured swirly letters.  
  
"Impressive." Ali said, eating the last of our third packet of chocolate biscuits.  
  
"Groovy." Raphael said, in a flat voice.  
  
"Hey! It is groovy!" I said, defensively.  
  
"No, it really is! I'll say in with more enthusiasm in future."  
  
"You do that." I said.  
  
"Groovy, baby!" He shouted with an abdominal thrust to boot.  
  
"Super Groovy." I said, beginning to inch away.  
  
"Can I have a beer, my jolly friend?" He asked, now peering at a butterfly, which looked like it was caught in the vampire's teeth.  
  
"Fine." I muttered going over to the fridge to get us a beer each. (I'm hardly going to get drunk on one bottle of Stella). I checked my watch (again, I know, I'm a little stupid). It was still three hours until Sirius was getting home.  
  
"Hope Matt's Interview went ok." Kira said quietly.  
  
"I'm sure it went fine. As long as his height didn't intimidate them too much." I added.  
  
"Shhh." Kira said scolding me, but still laughing. "He's lovely."  
  
"Aww, ickle Kiwa in love." I said patronisingly.  
  
"She's bigger than you." Ali pointed out.  
  
"And older." Kira added.  
  
"Pshh," I said dismissively, "Bet I'm heavier. Anyway," I clapped my hands to my heart, and looked wistfully into the distance. "It's the heart that counts."  
  
"No it's not, it's the breasts." Raphael said boredly.  
  
"Oh yeah, sure, that's what you think." Said Kira, who wasn't too gifted in that area.  
  
"As does every other male on the planet." Raphael pointed out.  
  
"Except the gay ones." I said.  
  
Ali said "Including the gay ones." At the same time as Raphael said "Them too."  
  
"Woo! High five, Raph." Ali said putting a hand up.  
  
"Well done old chum." Said Raphael, not even looking up as he high fived her.  
  
At this point there was a lapse in conversation.  
  
"Way to stop the conversation, Raphael." I said after a pause.  
  
"Sorry." He said, fiddling with a splinter on the table.  
  
"So... any 'hot goss', so to speak?"  
  
Three simultaneous 'no's greeting me.  
  
"I'll take that as a 'no' then."  
  
"Really? Will you?" Said Ali, acting shocked.  
  
"Yep, I most certainly will young lady."  
  
"Oh."  
  
"Food, anyone?" Said Raphael, standing up and walking to the fridge.  
  
*****  
  
It was six fifteen. Raphael and Ali had gone home about ten minutes ago. Kira was still here. Sirius was due fifteen minutes ago. He was late. Ruby was sitting quietly in the front room watching a video in the dark (for some unfathomable reason the curtains were closed. Perhaps she'd been dancing to the songs and didn't want random strangers to see). I don't think she realised that her dad was late, but that seemed perfectly fair. When I was little and my dad got home late from work (before he left us) I never realised if he was late. She seemed too absorbed in the video to realise anyway.  
  
I drummed on the kitchen while Kira stared into space. After a short while she said "Chloe, my fabulous friend,"  
  
"Yeahs?"  
  
"Can I call Matt from your phone please? It's just I-"  
  
"Yes, yes, go on. Tell me how it went."  
  
"The interview?"  
  
"No, the elephant."  
  
"Ok." She said, wandering into the back room where the phone was. After about a minute she called through to me "The elephant went fine! He doesn't know if he gets to look after it yet. He'll find out on Monday."  
  
"Fabdabdibadee!" I called back as I heard a commotion outside. "Sirius is back!" I called to Kira. I strode to the front room, where Ruby was sitting. "Your dad's home, come on."  
  
I heard Kira say she had to go to Matt, and put the phone down.  
  
I saw her follow us into the hall.  
  
I watched as Ruby opened the door to greet her father.  
  
I saw a green light.  
  
And heard the words "Avada Kedavra!"  
  
***** 


	40. Interlude

Denial

Chapter 44 – Interlude

*****

_Give me life_

_Give me pain_

_Give me myself again_

– Tori Amos

*****

In the land of the living, in a small, terraced house, a phone was ringing.

_Bring bring!_

The noise could be heard throughout the house. If anyone had been listening.

_Bring bring!_

In the kitchen there were several beer bottles, half drunk, standing idle on the small wooden table.

_Bring bring!_

On the wall opposite were the words _Happy Birthday Ruby, _along with paintings of various creatures.

_Bring bring!_

In the living room the TV was still on, and the curtains still closed.

_Bring br-_

"Hello?"

"Hello, is Chloe there?"

"Who is speaking please?"

"It's Sirius, could I speak to Chloe?"

"Could I inquire as to your full name?"

"Sirius Black. Look, have I got the wrong number?"

"No, this is the residence of Chloe Black."

"Yes, but _is she there?_"

"Indeed, sir."

"Then could I _speak_ to her?"

"No, I'm afraid that is impossible, under the current circumstances."

"Then can you give her a message?"

"_Impossible_, I'm afraid."

"Look, who are you, and what are you doing in my house?"

"I am Inspector Davies, I am here to assess the situation in this place of residence."

There was a pause.

"What?"

"A crime has been committed in your place of residence. I am assessing the situation."

"What crime?"

"I suggest you return here and then we can speak."

"_What crime!?_"

Another pause.

"Last night Death Eaters came to the property, and-"

The line went dead.

A quarter of an hour later Sirius Black marched up Sandford road, having apparated to the end of it. Outside number 49 he saw police vans and tape. He marched up to the tape, and ducked underneath it. Immediately he was thrown back.

Clearly these were not muggle policemen.

A man appeared to be inspecting his garden path. Sirius called to him.

"Excuse me!" The man looked up. "What the hell's been going on here?"

"Hell has been going on here." The man said gravely. Sirius, not in the mood for cryptic answers began to shout.

"I was told there were death eaters!" He yelled. "What happened!?"

At that moment another two 'policemen' emerged from the house. One of them glanced at him, and began to walk down the path towards him, almost treading on the other man's fingers.

"I am Inspector Davies." One of the 'policemen' said, holding out his hand.

Sirius glared at him.

"Can I go into my house please?" Sirius said through gritted teeth, trying to suppress his anger and confusion.

"Indeed." Inspector Davies said, lowering his hand. "We need your help, in fact."

"Oh, so _you_ need _my_ help?" Sirius burst out.

"Yes. A matter of identification. Firstly, do you confirm that you are indeed Sirius Ewan Black?"

"Yes." Sirius said impatiently.

"Please follow me."

Davies let Sirius through the tape, breaking the charm on it, and lead him back along the path (Sirius barely noticed as he pushed the man inspecting it over in his haste) towards the house.

The hallway was dimly lit, and Sirius found it hard to see in contrast to the glare of the sun outside. The Inspector led Sirius straight through to the kitchen and from there out to the garden where they were met by the sun's glare again, and a large green tent into which the Inspector strolled. Sirius followed with apprehension.

Before Sirius's eyes had had a chance to adapt to the lack of light the Inspector had spoken.

"We need you to identify these bodies."

Sirius's heart sank. Suddenly his breathing became shallow and his brow creased deeply.

Then he made out the shape of three tables, with bodies on them – covered in white cloths.

That was when breathing became a real difficulty.

His lungs seemed unable to expand, seemed to be refusing to let air in. Around him the tent became blurred, and the with sheets only vague splodges. As he gasped for more air his breathing became quicker until he was simply hiccoughing, and taking no air in at all.

"Just breath man." The Inspector said, a note of panic in his voice. He strode back out of the tent and yelled "Can we get a paper bag or something, here? There's a man having a panic attack!"

Sirius meanwhile had collapsed onto the ground, feeling as if he was going to die if he couldn't breath soon, and almost wishing he would.

If that was who he thought it…..

No. They could _not_ be dead.

"Alright just breathe in through your nose, and out through your mouth." A woman said, bursting in, and holding a large paper bag. She thrust it towards him. "Breathe into this. In – and out. In – and out. In – and out."

Gradually Sirius's breathing slowed but he found he was shaking slightly, and there was a lump in his throat, and tears threatening to spill from his eyes.

He sat on the grass a minute, concentrating all his energy on just breathing, and trying not to think about anything else. He new he couldn't carry on like that forever, though. The woman was staring at him intently.

"You ok now? You ready?"

He was ok.

He was _not_ ready.

Nor would he ever be.

He shook his head vigorously, stood up shakily, and left the tent. He was suddenly blinded by the light, and burned by its glare, and went through to the house. He saw for the first time the pictures on the wall and let out a sob. Then he decided to think about his breathing again for a moment longer.

When he had got it under control he looked about him. The house was cold, and still, and full of strangers. He did not want them here. He did not want this to be happening.

He wished he had been home on time.

He climbed the stairs and tried to seek refuge in the bedroom he and Chloe had shared. It was untouched, and there was no one there. He lay on the bed, and buried his head in the covers again. He could smell Chloe. He could smell his home. He lay in his bed and imagined Chloe next to him, imagined putting his arms around her, imagined kissing her, imagined her face as she slept, and her hair spread haphazardly across the pillow, and her breast rising and falling as she breathed.

But she would no longer breathe.

He let out another sob, and a tear escaped to land on the pillow.

But perhaps…..

Perhaps Chloe was not dead.

Perhaps it was her friends.

Perhaps she had been driven mad by grief.

Perhaps she had killed them! But she would still be alive.

Perhaps it had been self-defence.

And Ruby….. perhaps Ruby had been taken away by the social services.

Neither of them had to be dead.

He was just fearing the worst.

They probably weren't.

Chloe often had friends round. Kira, and James and Lily…..

But if James was dead, and Lily carrying his child. And Lily and Kira anyway.

_As long as Chloe and Ruby are still alive I can get through it._

Perhaps he could face identifying the bodies after all. The sounds of the people around him inspecting his house were not allowing him peace anyway.

He would have to do this sooner or later.

Unless it was a dream.

Despite the fact that it felt very unreal he could easily see that he was not dreaming. This _was_ real life.

Sirius decided he _hated_ real life.

Not long after he was stumbling back down the stairs, kicking the threadbare carpet. He trudged down the hall, into the kitchen, and out of the house. He hurried across to the tent, and peered inside. Inside Inspector Davies and the woman were standing beside the first table, in silence. Davies was staring at his clasped hands, and the woman was staring at the bodies with a thoughtful expression. It was Davies who noticed Sirius first.

"Come in." He said. Sirius stepped inside, feeling nervous. He breathing became shallower again, and he concentrated on evening it out.

"Ready?" The woman asked. Sirius nodded shakily, and moved over to the first table. The woman drew back the sheet.

Kira's lifeless faced stared up through him.

Sirius felt himself freeze, and cold tingling sensation travel all over him. But he couldn't help but feel some relief as well. It wasn't Chloe. It wasn't Ruby.

This made him feel extremely guilty, and he tried to force himself to feel as shocked and saddened as he should. But he knew that if it had been Chloe or Ruby he would have felt a lot worse.

"Can you confirm the identity of this woman?" Davies asked.

Sirius blinked. Then nodded. He had no tears for Kira. But he had tears of great guilt, because Kira deserved more than a blank expression.

"It's Kira Harvey." He said hoarsely.

It still felt like a dream.

Sirius stared at Kira's bright blue eyes, trying to convince himself that she was really dead. He could see it. He knew it. Yet he could barely take it in. He needed to know she was dead. He needed to believe it. And he needed to believe that the other two bodies were not those of his wife and daughter.

He could not imagine them cold and lifeless, underneath a white sheet. He refused to let himself look up from Kira's face lest he recognise the shape of them. He had not looked at them properly before, due to his breathing.

With this thought he realised that his breath was growing shallow again, and he inhaled deeply, raising a hand to his mouth, and realising it was shaking. He tried to suppress this. He did not want to be so weak. He did not want to be worse if the situation became worse.

Davies was writing something, but the woman had moved on to the next table. She looked at Sirius inquisitively. Nervously – almost to the point of being sick – he made his way to the next table. He put his head down and closed his eyes. He did not want to know who it was.

Too late, the woman had already drawn back the sheet.

The emotionless face of his wife, his love, Chloe lay before him, white, and stiff.

He felt himself freeze all over. His breathing quickened, this time he didn't think to stop it. Tears streamed down his face and a lump rose in his throat. He wanted to sob, but he didn't have the breath to. At the same time he began to retch, but it could get no further than his throat before it was stopped by the already blocked situation.

Driven crazy by the sight of Chloe's body, and lack of oxygen Sirius fell to the floor.

*****

Half an hour later he regained consciousness. It was light outside. Perhaps he had overslept. That might explain why Chloe wasn't lying next…..

No.

He remembered.

Chloe was-

Was she really?

Could she be dead?

And Ruby…..

He didn't know about her.

Sirius sat up groggily. Beside him was a woman. He recognised her…..

He rubbed his eyes. On his cheeks he felt dried tears.

He looked back at the woman. A nametag on her jumper told him that she was called Letitia. That didn't help. He looked at her face.

_Oh yes_, he thought, She was the one who had shown him Chloe.

Suddenly doubt gripped Sirius's mind. Maybe it was just denial, but who could say? What if it hadn't been Chloe? What if he'd been mistaken? What if he'd imagined it? What if he'd gone mad? He had to check to see whether it had really been Chloe or not.

Suddenly he sprang up, and ran across the landing, down the stairs, almost tripping and falling, and down the hallway, and through the kitchen. He burst into the tent, with Letitia following close behind. He ran to the middle table, and as he drew up he inhaled deeply.

This time his breath didn't quicken. This time he didn't feel sick. This time he just felt cold, and calm, and almost as dead as she. His tears slipped silently down as he inspected every inch of her. He dark brown hair, ruffled, yet still soft-looking. Her eyes were closed and looked so peaceful. Almost as if she were just asleep. He wished he could simply wake her, bent down to touch her and see if he could. But she was as cold as he felt. Colder. Like ice. Quickly he drew his hand away, not wanting to feel her now. Not like this.

He sighed and let his tears drop onto her skin. He barely noticed as Davies entered the tent, and asked him her name. He only replied when Letitia had shaken his shoulder and repeated the question.

"Chloe Phillipa Black" He said resignedly. There was no point in denying. There was the evidence before him. And what he wouldn't have given for it to be a dream, or a joke, or anything but the truth.

But it wasn't.

It was real life.

And he _hated_ real life.

Letitia and Davies had already moved on to the next table. Sirius looked at it determinedly. The shape of the body was worryingly small.

It was bound to be Ruby. The chances of it not …..

Letitia had drawn back the sheet before he had even reached the end of the table. As Sirius saw Ruby's small angelic face his heart sank. More tears emerged and now he began to sob. He bent down and fingered her hair, now almost as dark as his own. He drank in every minute detail of her face so he could remember it forever. He gently stroked her cheek, and mouth, and eyes.

That was his daughter. His only daughter.

She was gone.

He had lost the two most important things in his life.

"This is Ruby Alludra Black." He whispered. He stood there in a zombie like state, his eyes sliding from Ruby to Chloe and back again. He would not leave them for an hour. He simply memorized their faces, and remembered the good times they'd had together.

Back in the house the phone was ringing once more.

_Bring, bring!_

The man who had been peering at the path leading to the house had just finished searching for traces of the Death Eaters. He had found little.

_Bring, bring!_

Now he was returning to the house.

_Bring, bring!_

As he entered the hall he heard the telephone.

_Bring, bring!_

He moved to answer it.

_Bring, br-_

"Hello?"

"Hello, is Kira there?"

"Who is speaking please?"

"It's Matt, could I speak to Kira?"

*****


	41. PART TWO The Afterlife, and Me

Denial  
  
Part Two  
  
Chapter 40 - The Afterlife, and Me  
  
*****  
  
LOBBY THIS WAY  
  
----------------------  
  
I was in a passage. It was quite dark. It was quite green. It had a sign on the wall with an arrow pointing in the direction of the light. There were four other people in the passage. One of these was Kira. One was Ruby.  
  
"What the fuck?" One of the people there, who I didn't know, said loudly. "One minute some crazy guy in a black cloak is brandishing a stick at me, looking like he's about to kill me, then he flashes a green light at me and the next minute I'm here."  
  
I looked at this guy. He was about fifteen, looked muggle.  
  
"Perhaps you're dead." Kira suggested. "I think we're dead. Those were death eaters outside Chloe."  
  
"So... Oh my God, I got us killed." I said. Kira was the clever one, apparently. It made sense that we were dead. We'd been hit with the killing curse after all. "Shhhhit. I'm sorry, I-"  
  
"They're death eaters, they were going to kill us anyway. You were muggle born, you know what they're like."  
  
"What the fuck are you on about?" Said the fifteen-year-old boy again, just as another person crashed onto the floor. It was an old woman. "And what is my Grandma doing here?"  
  
The other person I didn't know turned on her heel and marched off in the direction of the arrow.  
  
"I can't be arsed to explain to him, let's get going." Kira said picking up Ruby who'd been quiet all this time. Dumbly I followed her, contemplating what had happened.  
  
What about Sirius? Was he dead too? Or would he come home after the death eaters had left to find me and Ruby dead. I couldn't think which was worse. After all if he was a live - well - he was alive. But what about me and Ruby being dead. Even if he'd secretly hated me my entire life and marrying me was all part of some plan - he couldn't hate Ruby. If he was dead... he was dead. But he would be with us at least.  
  
I felt stupid and humiliated. I'd thought it was Sirius outside. It had been death eaters! I'd mistaken death eaters for my husband! Argh!  
  
I wanted to wake up. It's clichéd but there was nothing I wanted more than to find out it was all a dream. It seemed so surreal anyway. But at the same time too real for me to be dreaming. And you never wish you're dreaming in a dream. In fact I've had dreams where I know I'm dreaming. But that was beside the point.  
  
I didn't want to be dead. I wanted to live out my life. With living people. Who knows what limits there are on you when you're dead.  
  
I might not have been dead though. I might have been transported there by a portkey, or apparated in desperation, like Sirius did when Ruby was born. I might be in some random hotel somewhere, or something to that effect.  
  
I couldn't explain the random other people, but either or would become clear later or we'd never know.  
  
The tunnel seemed to stretch on for miles. I think it was actually at least a mile long. After a while we came across another sign on the wall. It said:  
  
WELCOME!  
  
To a new life!  
  
That sounded... promising yet so unpromising at the same time. It promised life. But not the same one I had before. Perhaps we were in a building holding a Hippie Convention or something to that effect.  
  
Another age of walking in silence. The next sign.  
  
PREPARE YOURSELF!  
  
And whatever you do:  
  
DON'T PANIC!  
  
Comforting. Don't you agree? Something bad was coming, the sign made it clear. We walked for about fifty more hours (that was an exaggeration). Ruby looked very scared by this point. Eventually the next sign came in sight. I desperately wanted to read it for clues of what was going on, but at the same time was dreading finding out, in case Kira was right and we were dead...  
  
YOU ARE IN THE AFTERLIFE.  
  
You are no longer alive in the way you know it.  
  
We were dead. Great. Just perfect. Absolutely groovy and fabulous, and wonderful. I felt Kira's head drop. She must have been hoping she was wrong as well. I decided to take Ruby from her, and try to make my daughter less scared. She could hardly read. She probably had no idea what was going on. She probably felt pressured into silence by the silence around her, and that was a good thing, because I needed to verify that we definitely were dead before telling her. She'd get distressed enough if I told her we were dead, even more so if I contradicted myself.  
  
Another sign...  
  
In actual fact you're dead.  
  
And soon after that one...  
  
REMEMBER WHAT WE SAID  
  
ABOUT NOT PANICKING!  
  
Again, quite soon after that sign...  
  
(We said  
  
"DON'T PANICK!"  
  
by the way)  
  
Apparently the person who wrote these signs had some sort of sense of humour. Well it WASN'T FUNNY when you had just found out you were DEAD.  
  
There was a longer wait for the next sign, which, when we cam to it, said:  
  
FOR MORE DETAILS ON YOUR DEATH  
  
SEE SMALL PRINT BELOW.  
  
You were murdered by magical means.  
  
Apparently it no longer mattered if muggles found out about magic. I suppose we were all dead after all. Unless this was an elaborate and sick joke. Which I sincerely hoped it wasn't but I wouldn't put it past death eaters. It was a green tunnel after all, and green was favoured by death eaters (most of whom came from Slytherin. There were definitely a few in our year, but everyone knew that). Perhaps the death eaters were ajoke as well. Perhaps Sirius was playing the joke. If he was then this time it had definitely gone too far.  
  
But it wasn't like he'd never gone too far before.  
  
I remembered one particular time when I had been woken in the middle of the night to find that Sirius had attempted murder.  
  
That was a good day all round I feel.  
  
So here I was. Either dead or having a seriously huge practical joke on me. Simply walking down a long green corridor until I reached whatever was at the end. Or I died (re-died?) of exhaustion or hunger.  
  
After about a hundred years (possibly less) we suddenly emerged into a brightly lit, noisy, and reasonably crowded room. It was circular. Almost directly ahead of us (though slightly to the right) was another very wide, long passage, which people were filtering through. Above it was an extremely large sign, which read:  
  
COACH STATION THIS WAY Please check in at an appropriate desk before proceeding to your coach.  
  
There were two long rows of desks either side of this passage. Above the one on the right was a sign which said:  
  
Witches and Wizards  
  
Above the other row was a sign which said:  
  
Muggles  
  
(If you don't know what a muggle is come here)  
  
I wondered who made these signs, and why they didn't just say something simple like "Non-Magic People"  
  
Fools.  
  
Anyway, I took the hint that we should be heading towards the 'Witches and Wizards' desks. There were short queues leading to each desk. I slowly began to wander towards one of the shorter queues (they were all pretty much the same size). Kira followed me.  
  
I'd come into some sort of trance-like state, and barely noticed the time between when we got to the back of the queue and the front. In fact I didn't even notice we'd got to the front until the person at the desk gently pinched my arm. (I'm sure it's not normal custom, but this was the afterlife after all).  
  
"Madam?" Said the black girl at the desk in a cheery voice.  
  
"Wuh?" I said vaguely.  
  
"Can I have your name please?" She asked, smiled fixed in place.  
  
"Uh..." I said, having a momentary mental block. "Oh. Chloe Black."  
  
"And you middle name, please?"  
  
I frowned, "Phillipa." I said, doubting my answer.  
  
"Thank you." Said the girl. She typed for a moment on a large black typewriter. A sheet of paper suddenly rolled out of the top, followed by two others. She handed them to me. "Here is information on your new address, the dates the council van will be visiting your area, and a list of names and numbers. To get a coach to your area simply go under that archway," she pointed to the passage beneath the 'COACH STATION THIS WAY' sign, "and follow the tunnel until you get to the station. You'll be directed to the correct coach. First I need to know about the young lady you're holding."  
  
The young lady I was holding... I looked at my arms. Ah yes. Ruby.  
  
"This is Ruby." I said, trying to remember the information she'd just told me and make sense of it, despite the fact that I'd already worked most of it out from the sign.  
  
"Ruby." The black girl said.  
  
"Yeah, Ruby."  
  
"Sorry, I meant what are Ruby's other names?" She said patiently.  
  
"Oh. Right. Um... Ruby Alludra Black. And she's my daughter." I said, realising what she meant.  
  
"Ok." The girl typed again. This time only one sheet emerged. "That's for Ruby. These sheets are very important. You should try never to lose them, but if you do your local information centre will provide a new one for you for a small fee. Enjoy your coach ride!"  
  
"Thanks." I muttered vaguely, turning, and walking to stand a little way back from the desks while we waited for Kira. She emerged thirty seconds later, smiling slightly, and shaking her head.  
  
"You're completely out of it. How come I didn't notice you smoking illegal substances when I was walking right beside you all the way down the tunnel?" She said, gently tugging me toward the Coach station.  
  
I shrugged slightly, following her. I was very confused.  
  
*****  
  
AN: Yeah, they're dead.  
  
Sorry for the long wait. It was a strange chapter to write and took a lot of thought.  
  
By the way, painting the kitchen walls is perfectly realistic, and not at all wishful thinking. I've done it in my kitchen and living room when we were about to redecorate. But we haven't got round to redoing the living room yet, so there's like fish, and yellow submarines and such painted on it. And things such as "Wizzoh!"  
  
Sorry. I'll shut up.  
  
I hope you appreciate this chapter, and stuff. Kira will see the bleaker point of view next chapter, she's just trying to take it in her stride now. She doesn't feel dead, so it's kind of hard for her to believe it.  
  
So, anyway, bye bye.  
  
- Mai 


	42. The Afterlife, and Home

Denial

Chapter 41 – The Afterlife, and Home

*****

Your new home is located in area 1900AD, location: GB, neighbourhood: NewBrum, address: 12 Pie-Cat Crescent, Crowdley

I sat on the bench next to Kira, reading the sheet of paper that the girl at the desk had given me. Judging by the location and neighbourhood names I'd say that they had been based on Great Britain and Birmingham. Though I'd never heard of Crowdley or Pie-cat crescent. Ruby had the same address printed on her sheet, but Kira's address was _27 Blue-Turnip Road, Crowdley_. Why do I get the impression that the person who named these places was either very bored, or a little lost for normal names.

Perhaps they were insane.

Or perhaps that was just how it was when you were dead.

But come on! _Blue-Turnip Road!_

'Hi, where do you live?'

'Oh I live on _Blue-Turnip_ road.'

'Oh, really? It's a nice place, is _Blue-Turnip_ road.'

'Yeah, yeah. Good neighbourhood.'

'Yes, a lot of _happy_, _sane_ people.'

'Exactly!'

I mean, can you imagine? And I thought Pie-Cat was bad.

Our coach was fifteen minutes late according to the clock on the pole in front of us (which resembled a small lamppost) and according to a long scroll on another of these poles it wasn't going to be turning up for yet another fifteen minutes.

We were on level 1900AD of the afterlife. Well, they called it area 10900AD, but I think it was more of a level, because we'd come down in a massive lift to get here. It had taken ages. Above us were about a billion floors. And we'd passed them all. By floors I mean 'areas'.

Anyway, once we'd got here we'd emerged in Germany (don't ask, I don't have a clue) and we'd had to go down a flight of stairs so we were underground, and we'd found ourselves in a kind of massive underground tube station, just with coaches. We'd followed the sign that was labelled 'GB' and now we were sitting on the bench in the platform, along with about two hundred other people (the number was growing all the time) waiting for a coach that wasn't due for another fifteen minutes. I mean, the platform, large as it was, was already getting cramped, and people weren't going to stop coming.

Ruby was sitting on my lap, looking around, looking scared, and looking as if she was about to cry.

I did not blame her.

I too was bewildered, scared, and lost. I had little idea of what we had to do, where we had to go, what the hell was going on, and that made me feel like crying too.

But it would be horrible if Ruby saw me crying.

I thought Ruby deserved some explanation as to what was going on. I bent my head down so it was next to her ear, and spoke quietly.

"Ruby, we're moving house. We have to. I didn't know we had to until we appeared in that green tunnel earlier. I know we don't have anything with us, we've lost all that, but we can get new things. Your dad can't come with us, I don't think, but someday we'll see him again. This was Voldemort's fault. There's nothing we can do."

Ruby's lip began to tremble and tears formed in her eyes. After a pause she asked timidly, "Am I still having my party?"

"No, sorry." I said, sighing. I glanced at Kira who was looking at the tiled floor deep in thought. I hugged Ruby tighter. "But we're going to be ok."

I wasn't sure that we were going to be ok, but hey, at least Ruby wouldn't be worried.

I decided to think about Sirius – yes it was a conscious decision, I had any number of topics to choose from. At first I just pictured his face, imagined his eyes staring at me. I could see the patterns of his irises and each of his eyelashes. That's what comes of staring at someone too much.

But rather that than not being able to picture him or remember what he looked like.

I had no photos of him. He could live to a hundred! How could I survive eighty years with only mental images to remember him? And by the time he'd died he would be old and withered, and it wouldn't be right, and he might become completely different, and I didn't think I could cope with that, or manage to wait eighty years. And besides I was in area AD1900, and assuming that meant I'd died in the 20th century, and Sirius would probably be older than forty when he died therefore he would go to area AD2000, and how would I find him then? Unless you were sorted according to the century of your birth . . . 

And I still wasn't sure I was dead yet. It seemed so surreal.

Eventually our coach decided to turn up. It was twice the length of any coach in . . . the land of the living. Still it wouldn't fit everyone from the platform in. Suddenly a voice boomed out over the platform and those talking stopped.

"All those who died before 6:27 pm please make your way to the coach. If you are unsure of your time of death please check your pages. Another coach will be here in five minutes."

I bit my lip and tried to remember what time we had died. Sirius had been late, it was after six . . . I couldn't be sure. Then I felt Kira tugging my arm.

"We're on." She said, dragging me over to the door of the coach.

"Really?" I asked. Kira didn't have the best memory.

"Yeah, it says on these." She thrust her sheets of paper in my direction. "Time of death: 6:16 pm."

"Oh." I followed her onto the coach, we filed as far back as we could and sat down next to each other with Ruby on my knee. Eventually I noticed her looking stricken in my direction. I thought for a moment. "Oh." I said flatly. "Ruby – supposedly – we're in the afterlife. Supposedly we're dead."

Tears began to slip down her cheeks, and she hugged my stomach tightly, burying her face. I stroked her back gently.

*****

It took five hours to get to our new home, but we made it. It was a small red-bricked terrace house on a curved road. The houses had no drives, and the sides of the roads were lined with cars. Not modern cars though. Most were classical, and some people had carriages. Waving this strange sight aside I opened our front gate – wrought iron, painted black – and we made our way up the short flagstone path to the front door. We had a tiny front garden with a lawn and a small tree in it. The front door was also painted black. There was a post-it note on the door which read _Your key is under the flowerpot. _On the floor by my feet was an overturned flowerpot, which appeared to be painted, but it was hard to see. Lifting it up I found a small silver key. I picked it up, fit it into the lock, and turned it. The door sprung open and a light suddenly turned on.

We were in small room furnished with a sofa and an empty bookcase. The floor was black painted floorboards, with a red rug over the top. Straight ahead was another door. This lead to another room, which had a table and three chairs in the middle. On the other side of the room was a row of wooden cabinets, a sink, and a fridge. There was no cooker however.

On the left as we entered this room was a staircase. I assumed the bedrooms were up there, and that was where we were intending to go. Kira was going to stay in our house tonight if there was anywhere for her to sleep, and find her own house in the morning.

Upstairs there were three rooms. One was the bathroom, and two were bedrooms. The large bedroom at the front had a queen size bed, and a double duvet. The smaller back room had a very squashy single bed and duvet. Kira took that and me and Ruby shared the larger room.

Ruby was already asleep when I turned the light out, and I only remember hearing her breathe a couple of times before falling a sleep myself.

*****

AN:/ *sigh* Done. Finally. Took long enough. **It's Christmas tomorrow people!!!**

Anyway, I'm sure you'd like to be thanked for reviewing, so here we go…

**Running out of ink** – you're right, it would have been. In fact it was how it was going to end before. Then OotP came out, revealing that there was an afterlife, and all became happy.

Vix 

**Froggy1** – I killed them. Duh. :P

**zeldagrl436**

**Jo12** – yeah, well I intend it to get sadder, and then to get happier. That depends how good I am at writing though.

**Susan B** – hehehe. That was the idea.

**Aalina**

**freakyfroggurl22**

**Sam 8** – No, they all had to die, otherwise they would have joined the Order.

**LiBlackDragon**

**elvencherry07**

**Gryffindor-rox**

**Chocolate Taco**

**Child of the Wolves** – I'm sorry. I'll never ruin your plans again *shifty look*.

**Captain Oblivious** - :D That's the idea.

**Angel76**

Anyway, yes, that pretty much sums it up. Apart from HAPPY CHRISTMAS! Again.

I'm getting presents, I am. In fact, in light of the coming event I'll give you a present…

And no it's not the next chapter…

Unless I get sudden inspiration…

It's a … _smiley face!_

:)

Bet you've never seen one of those before, eh?

Ok, bye bye!

-Mai


	43. The Afterlife, and its Limitations

Denial  
  
Chapter 42 - The Afterlife, and its Limitations  
  
*****  
  
I'd pinned our 'pages' on a cork notice board in the kitchen, which I hadn't noticed the night before due to it's colour with was almost exactly the same as the dull walls. It was 1:24 pm according to the clock, which hung above it. The council van was due in Crowdley at 2 o'clock, according to the pages and Kira - who had gone to find her own house earlier - was due around now to find and visit it with us. Chloe was upstairs trying to get all the knots out of her hair in front of the small mirror in the bathroom. 'Ow's came incessantly down the stairs as she pulled the comb through her hair. (Conveniently I'd had one in my pocket when we died).  
  
I stood by the notice board, looking at my second and third pages. There was a list of people who I'd known well that had died, and their addresses. There were nine on my list. All but one of my grandparents, my granddad's sister, a good friend of my mother's who had died of cancer, an uncle on my dad's side who had smoked himself to death, and a friend from primary school who I'd only found out when I left Hogwarts had been killed in a car accident. Other than that there were only Ruby and Kira who were on my third sheet.  
  
Ruby had only myself and Kira on hers. They both fitted on her first sheet.  
  
Suddenly the doorbell rang. I tore my eyes from the addresses, and strode to the front door to let Kira in. When She stepped into the room I saw she had tears in her eyes.  
  
"What's wrong?" I said, hugging her briefly.  
  
"I was just. . . thinking about Matt, and his new job, and missing him, and such." She said, wiping off the tears. "And now I'm dead, and he's not, and I can't see him anymore."  
  
I had been trying to avoid thinking about Sirius.  
  
Thanks Kira.  
  
Well, we were about to go to the council van anyway. This was apparently a van that went from district to district counselling people still unused to the idea of being dead. Well that's what an advert on the wall of the coach station had said, as well as an announcement.  
  
Suddenly Ruby came rushing downstairs.  
  
"The comb got stuck in my hair." She said, looking angry. I gently pulled it out, as Kira tried to look perfectly happy.  
  
"Did you leave the mirror on the floor in the bathroom?" I asked Ruby. She nodded. "Ok, I'll put it back up later. Right now we have to go." I picked her up, and we walked out of the door just in time to see the van pull into our road. It was white, and quite small, and two people were sitting in the front wearing green. The van stopped beside us and a man jumped out.  
  
"Hi, I'm Charlie." He said grinning. He quickly walked round to the back of the van, and opened the doors. Inside was a large room with several large purple sofas and a screen on the wall. "Take a seat, make yourselves at home, we're running late, sorry." He said hurriedly. Once we had climbed inside he slammed the door shut - though strangely it made no noise, and in a few seconds we felt the vibration of the engine as the van started up again.  
  
I looked around the room. In a sofa opposite sat an old man. There was a bubble machine in the ceiling creating multicoloured bubbles. Ruby tried to stand up to pop them but fell back when the van lurched and settled for only popping ones which came near her. After about a minute a woman joined us supported by another woman who looked at least ten years younger than her.  
  
The two women walked across the room to a sofa on the other side. (Obviously it was a magically enhanced space). The older woman was crying, and it was easy to hear their conversation in the otherwise silent room.  
  
"Mother." Sobbed the older one. "I'm 39. I'm too young to die."  
  
"Shhhhh, there, there, dear. It's not the end of the world. Everyone has to die sometime." The younger one comforted her.  
  
"But what about the children!" The older woman wailed.  
  
"They'll learn to live. And if they don't they'll die. And if they die they'll come here and be with you again." The younger woman reasoned. Logical, yes. But not altogether comforting.  
  
"But I don't want them to die, they haven't lived yet!"  
  
"They'll have plenty of chance to live once they're dead. And besides they probably won't die for another seventy years or so."  
  
I couldn't help but feel that the younger woman was going the wrong way about comforting the other. Who as apparently her daughter? Perhaps the younger woman died at a younger age than the older one, and had stayed that age forever. Did that mean that Ruby would be almost five forever? She'd kill someone if she never got to celebrate her fifth birthday.  
  
A minute later the van stopped. Charlie and the woman who had been driving came in through the doors at the back. They pulled a couple of beanbags from the corner of the room, and sat on them, facing us and the old man. Charlie called over to the two women to come closer. Once they were all gathered round Charlie began.  
  
"Right, hello everyone. As you know I'm Charlie, and this is my beautiful assistant Alice." He indicated the woman. She was far from beautiful, plump with two double chins and bushy, mousy hair. Her green t-shirt stretched disgustingly across her large stomach. She didn't seem to care too much though, and waved jovially. "She's your councillor, I'm the comic relief. Sorry if I'm crap. Oh sorry." Charlie said, noticing Ruby, "Sorry if I'm not funny." He amended. It wasn't like Ruby didn't know the word crap.  
  
I'm not a bad mother, I swear.  
  
I swear often in fact.  
  
Next Alice spoke.  
  
"First let us make it absolutely clear," she said in a soft voice, "you are dead. You are in the afterlife. This is no hoax, no game, no joke. You are no longer alive in the way you know it." She paused to let this sink in. Ruby broke the short silence.  
  
"Mummy, how did we die?" She whispered.  
  
"We were hit with the killing curse." I explained quietly. "Voldemort uses it. It kills you instantly."  
  
"Oh." Her face fell.  
  
Then Alice said, "But just because you are dead to your old life, does not mean you're truly dead. This is life after death. This is a fresh start to do things as you want to. There are limitations, but this is not the end. As far as can be seen there is no end. Welcome to immortality."  
  
Immor-fucking-tality.  
  
That was possibly the worst thing about being dead. You can never die again.  
  
"Now I am going to tell you the limitations." Alice continued, "Unless you are from the magical community you will only be able to change your age once. Those who are magical may change at will. Those who can change there age once will get a guide to help them choose an age - remember you will be this age for eternity, so you must think about it for a long time. You have six months from your time of death to decide.  
  
"You may have children, but these children will be automatically taken to the place where you lived your past life. They will then be taken into orphanages set up by the magical community and eventually - hopefully - be adopted and live normal lives, and will only be reunited with their parents once they die.  
  
"The only times people have ever been known to return to the land of the living is if someone is born matching their exact DNA. If this is the case the person will be sent back by a very powerful force of magic beyond our control and identical twins will be born. This does confuse matters greatly for those sent back for then they have had two lives and have lived in two ages with two sets of friends and relatives.  
  
"There are very few limitations other than that. You live a little differently here to how you would in life, for example school is not compulsory for children, although they may go if they wish. Schools are very informal, each lesson is optional, and there are no uniforms. Those of fourteen years or older can choose whether to work, or study, or neither. Adults are required to work most of the time, but they can remain unemployed for very long periods of time while still retaining benefits. Each person will receive two pounds a week to live from - we use the currency used at the beginning of the century, this can be hard to adjust to, but it is manageable.  
  
"As to health - a force of magic stronger than any a witch or wizard could create - seemingly as if from God - heals and keeps us healthy. We have no need for doctors, or hospitals. Murder and intentional harm are pretty much impossible. I'm afraid if you were in health before then you'll need to retrain.  
  
"Sooo. any questions?"  
  
*****  
  
AN: Yeah, I was going to do more, but then I couldn't be arsed. The counselling will continue next chapter.  
  
Thankyous:  
  
Froggy1  
  
Alyer - when do you think he's going to die? I'm trying to stick to OotP as much as I can. Obviously Sirius's family's wrong, and probably some other things, but all the same.  
  
Gryffindor-rox - sorry he can't die yet.  
  
Aalina  
  
Little-lost-one - I'm going to stick to Chloe's point of view. But everyone dies sooner or later.  
  
Meanmeg3  
  
Captain Oblivious  
  
Jo12  
  
Black Slyrtherin Girl  
  
Sam8  
  
Zeldagrl436 - its exactly like life - just they're dead. But well done, all the same.  
  
Elvencherry07  
  
ChildOfTheWolves - yeahs. At a guess I'd say 20 more chapters. That'll probably be completely off though. Well soonish Lily and James will die, and then they can tell all.  
  
Freakyfroggurl22 - I hope I pretty much explained ages in this.  
  
Obbsesive  
  
So there you go. Please review, and I will try to get the next chapter up shortly. I am reasonably happy currently due to the fact that one of the fanfics I'm reading just updated after not updating fro a year (Spiritus Aduro - read it - persuade them to update soon, it's on my favourites).  
  
Tata for now, and merry 2004.  
  
- Mai 


	44. The Afterlife, and Memories

Denial  
  
Chapter 43 - The Afterlife, and Memories  
  
*****  
  
I watched as a tiny bubble drifted very gently, and very slowly, down from the ceiling.  
  
This room was far too bright. I didn't like it. I wanted to go home. To my old home. Preferably with Sirius there, and with Ruby, and some friends maybe, like Kira and Lily and James. I wanted to see Lily's baby. I wanted Kira to see Matt.  
  
But death would be so much better with Sirius.  
  
I had tuned out of Alice's droning to the woman about her children, and how their lives will go on. In fact I had a feeling the conversation had moved on from there, but I wasn't aware of what to.  
  
Instead I was thinking about Sirius's face.  
  
I started with his eyes. I remembered the patterns of brown in his pupils, and the tinge of yellow in the middle. I remembered each eyelash, the lines on his eyelids. Each mark, each crease. I remembered his eyebrows, and their slight misshapen quality. I remembered his long nose, his lips (naturally smirking) and his angular chin. I thought about his hair. I gloated at Jessica, and decided divination was definitely a worthwhile subject (not for the first time). Oh his spikes.  
  
Then I thought about not seeing him again. It wasn't sinking in. I was missing him, of course, but I only saw him during the holidays anyway. Normally he was at auror training.  
  
Fuck. We'd been killed by the very people that Sirius was training to fight.  
  
Oh the delicious irony.  
  
I gave a humourless laugh. Aloud. Suddenly the old man turned on me.  
  
"That dog was important to me!" He barked. "It was my only friend in my old age."  
  
I glanced around the room. People appeared to be staring at me. It took a second for me to work it out.  
  
"Oh, I wasn't laughing at you. I was thinking. Sorry." I was stared at a moment longer, before the old man continued his desperate rant.  
  
Counselling appeared to be useless. It wasn't making me any friends anyway. I decided to go back to thinking - it was a far more worthwhile exercise.  
  
Matt. He wasn't the happiest of people. Well he was the type whose mood could swing quite easily. Not so much in a bad way, it just meant he got depressed easily. Or perhaps he just had a depressing life (which - so far as I can gather - he did) and so normally he was depressed, and when he was happy, he was very, very happy because it was such a shock.  
  
I also think the thing that made him most happy was Kira.  
  
And weed.  
  
I had a feeling that Kira's sudden death wasn't going to be good for his health.  
  
I supposed when he died he could smoke as much as he wanted and it wouldn't make a difference. Which was good for him. And Kira.  
  
But it was a pretty unfortunate time for her to die.  
  
At this point in my thoughts I was very tempted to laugh again. With real humour this time. Despite the morbid topic. As if our lives and deaths weren't real and didn't mean a thing. Which on a universal scale they didn't. What did space care if a few humans died? It wouldn't. It wouldn't care if it blew itself up. (I don't know if that's possible, I never did science past primary school).  
  
Nothing really matters.  
  
But that doesn't stop me caring.  
  
But then again time was an illusion. Eternity was non-existent. We were just going to be stuck being immortal until all movement and reactions stopped.  
  
But the likelihood of that ever happening is slim.  
  
I hated thinking philosophically. I decided to stop, and think about Sirius again. Eventually my thoughts of him ran out however, and I turned my mind to other things... Ruby's birthday.  
  
So far Ruby had not shown too much disappointment at being dead. I suppose she was a little dazed. Or confused. Or thought it was a game.  
  
No actually I had very little idea of what was going on in my daughters head, which was possibly not the most motherly thing, but hey. It was Sirius's fault.  
  
Sirius.  
  
*****  
  
AN: Yes. Short. Shhhh...  
  
But I've stopped being able to think and its easier to think at the beginning of chapters so I'll try to get straight on the case and update very soon (even if it's really short again). I blame school - draining my creative energy. (It's a good excuse).  
  
Anyway, here is your chapter. You really have no reason to review something so short, though it would still be good if you did.  
  
Also seeing as nothing really matters (in a happy way... never mind, it doesn't matter) My willpower somewhat lapsed.  
  
Thank yous:  
  
Gidget Chaos  
  
Elvencherry - year well it would be pretty crap being dead if half of the population were OAPs.  
  
Gryffindor-rox  
  
Sam8  
  
Child of the Wolves  
  
Obbsessive - I'm playing with the idea. Maybe it will help my 'creative energy'.  
  
Julyborn09  
  
Captain Oblivious  
  
Aalina  
  
M*andy, luvin yah - I imagine so because squibs are supposed to be rare aren't they? Nyeh.  
  
Magicrules - tell you what. I'll try to do a chapter from Sirius's point of view. If it works I'll post it. If it doesn't, I won't. *thumbs up*  
  
Anyway. I'll go now.  
  
- Mai 


	45. The Afterlife, and Eternity

Denial  
  
Chapter 45 - The Afterlife, and Eternity  
  
*****  
  
"Mummy, how come I'm dead but I'm still alive?" How could she take being dead so calmly!?  
  
"I don't know. That's just the way it is. It's probably far too complicated for anybody to understand." I replied, sighing.  
  
"Oh. But it's still like being alive, so I can pretend I am still alive." Ruby said. As if this wasn't obvious. Ok, she was only five, but still.  
  
"Of course you can. After all you're going to be dead for a very long time." Eternity was a concept that Ruby was too young to grasp.  
  
"How long for?"  
  
Eternity.  
  
"I don't know. You'll find out when you stop being dead, won't you."  
  
"Am I going to be properly alive again?"  
  
"Perhaps." The chances were slim indeed. And I didn't much want her to ever be alive again, because then she'd go into a different time zone, and that would be irritating.  
  
"How will I know if I am?"  
  
"You won't until you are." I said, trying not to be annoyed by these questions.  
  
They were irritating me beyond belief however.  
  
"But how will I know?"  
  
"You can generally tell if you're alive." I assured her.  
  
"But if you hadn't told me I wouldn't know I was dead. Am I really dead?" She asked. Now she was thinking too deeply for a five year old.  
  
"Yes. Please, I need to make the tea, and you're distracting me." I told her, in an attempt to shut her up.  
  
Like it would actually work.  
  
Why couldn't she be depressed at being dead, like the rest of us, and be really missing her father? Kira was feeling really bad about Matt. She was worried he'd do something stupid. Well, after getting paranoid about him not actually loving her, but I convinced her that he really did, and there was no doubt about it, and though I can imagine her then getting paranoid about my honesty, and my opinion of her, she seemed to accept it well enough.  
  
Then she got all depressed about 'tipping Matt over the edge'.  
  
She didn't want Matt to hurt himself. But quite frankly the sooner he hurt himself, the sooner he would die, the sooner he'd be reunited with Kira.  
  
Course Kira was too 'blinded by love' to see this.  
  
Adolescents, eh? And their stupid obsessions with love.  
  
Admittedly Kira was twenty, and I only nineteen (twenty in a couple of weeks).  
  
I died before I was even an adult!  
  
Hmmm. never thought about that before.  
  
Oh well. This pasta was going to cook itself, but the sauce wasn't. Kira had taken daily residence in our house, simply boarding at her own. Currently she was taking a bath (I don't think she liked the idea of an empty house, despite the fact that she'd never moved in with Matt, and had been living alone previously. Perhaps it was just the thoughts that floated round when you were on your own. I can imagine they could be pretty horrendous especially when it came to Matt, and his state of mind).  
  
(Oh dear. Matt's state of mind... I could not begin to imagine what thoughts could be swimming around his head, though I'm sure Kira had a better idea, and I'm sure that wasn't a good thing.)  
  
Death so far had proved to be rather dull, with the only distraction being thinking about life. I'm sure it's not good to dwell on the past, but hey. What else was I supposed to do. And how could I forget about Sirius, and all those people, and such.  
  
How could I go through this without Sirius? Where was Sirius? Why wasn't he here? WHY!?  
  
Nyeh.  
  
Death.  
  
It was Ruby's birthday the next day, and I had made no preparations, and had nothing planned, and could hardly bare to think about the matter, which is always good when your only daughter's birthday is fast approaching. I given Kira this matter to stew over in the bath if she so desired, as she had asked for a distraction, however I highly doubt that she was actually thinking about it. I'm sure the thought of Matt could quite easily distract her.  
  
In fact I was just hoping she wouldn't try and drown herself, though that would be a stupid idea as it is impossible in this world of death. This could mean that humans could quite easily live under water, but there was sure some annoying detail which prevented this, if it was only the law.  
  
It is terribly boring waiting for pasta to cook with nothing to take the edge off your boredom but repetitive questions from a five year old, even if you do love her.  
  
"When daddy dies will he come here?"  
  
"I don't know. It depends what that woman we met when we first died, or whoever it is then tells him."  
  
"Do you think he'll come and live with us?"  
  
"I don't know, hopefully."  
  
"Do you think he'll get married to someone else before he dies?"  
  
Thank you Ruby. Exactly what I needed. More strife.  
  
"I don't know." I said in a final tone. She sat quietly for a minute in thought. I became very bored again. I checked on the pasta. Still as uncooked as it had been twenty seconds ago. I decided after a minute that grating cheese might take some of the boredom away (I must have been very bored) and then realised I have nothing to grate it with. I found a knife and tried to finely slice it instead, but it was a hopeless task. It just crumbled.  
  
We had found a rather handy supermarket a couple of streets away. It sold everything from normal things such as apples and pizza, to powdered toothpaste (such as was used at the turn of the 20th century) and the like.  
  
It was jolly weird, I can tell you.  
  
I simply stuck to what I knew, as did Kira. Ruby tried to get us to buy some of the aforementioned toothpaste, but I declined, promising we could buy it later, and even if we didn't she probably would be able to in years to come when we were still dead, and she had grown bored of living with me.  
  
She assured me she would never grown bored of living with me.  
  
I assured her she would.  
  
She believed me not.  
  
Right at this moment she was combing her hair. It had become a favourite pastime of hers in the last few days, seeing as there was little else for her to do. Originally it had made her hair sleek, and neat, but now it was splitting ends, and making her hair static. I did not have the energy to stop her however, and anyway she had eternity to grow new hair.  
  
Imagine being a hermit for eternity...  
  
You'd get very bored I imagine. And knowing that there would never be an end.  
  
Ugh. I feel sorry for hermits everywhere.  
  
Never mind. I had no desire to be a hermit, and never had, even in life. The threat of such eternal boredom would not hang on my shoulders.  
  
I may take up smoking. Or drugs. I could try LSD now there would be no consequences.  
  
Well there probably would, but I would have eternity to sort them out.  
  
Hmmm... eternity was a blessing in many ways, despite the boredom of living (if in death) forever.  
  
Just then Kira came into the kitchen looking slightly damp (due to the water in the bath). As she pulled out a chair to sit by Ruby she said "All scars heal with time, and we have never-ending time so sometime our scars will all heal."  
  
"We'll probably get new ones." I commented, before tasting the sauce.  
  
"True, but we'll get rid of the old ones. Some scars run deeper than others. Some are more painful." She explained. Clearly she'd been thinking a lot in the bath.  
  
"Metaphorical or physical?" I asked, turning the heat off the pasta, and searching for a way to drain it.  
  
"Both. The scar on my arm for example, one day it will fade. And even if I never see Matt again one day I'll forget about him. Maybe one day I won't even recognise his face or remember anything we did together." So she had been thinking about Matt.  
  
I drained the pasta using the lid to create a small opening over the pan for the water to drain out, and then tipped the pasta into the sauce. After mixing them together I poured it into two bowls and a large plate (we only had two bowls) and placed them on the table. I picked up our small supply of cutlery and placed it on the table before sitting down myself.  
  
Just as I was about to eat my first mouthful one of our pages, that was pinned to the notice board, fell off and into my bowl.  
  
At least I thought it had been pinned to the notice board, but when I looked up all our old pages were still there.  
  
I looked at the piece of paper. At the top it said RUBY ALLUDRA BLACK, as did Ruby's page which had her address and mine and Kira's names on it.  
  
But on this page there was a new name and address.  
  
Matthew Avidan Sherman  
  
Area: 1900AD, location: GB, neighbourhood: NewBrum, address: 27 Blue-Turnip Road, Crowdley.  
  
*****  
  
AN: My 'creative energy' is renewed.  
  
At least somewhat.  
  
However good long reviews, and plot suggestions are very welcome.  
  
Special thanks to those who reviewed the last two chapters:  
  
Chapter 43:  
  
Captain Oblivious and Kate  
  
(Seriously - two reviews. I'm ashamed of you people. Well done to Kate and Captain Oblivious.)  
  
Chapter 44:  
  
Elvencherry07 - sorry, it was a one off chapter. I'll try to keep at least some humour in it in future.  
  
Zeldagrl436 - Yes! My aim was at least to make -someone- cry.  
  
Captain Oblivious - Don't worry. Peter will never be in this story EVER AGAIN! (Isn't that good?).  
  
M*andy, luvin ya - I'm sorry for not updating as soon as I could but I needed people to read the last chapter first.  
  
Magicrules - THIS is what will happen. To Matt at least. You won't find out Sirius's exact actions, but you know basically what happens to him.  
  
Lady Luckless - That's why it's going to have a happy ending.  
  
Kate - Nope. Well it was hard trying to make it sad. Depressing music helps :)  
  
Mintytoothpick - All in good time. Sirius's death will be another 'Interlude'.  
  
I'll probably update soon. I'm halfway through the next chapter.  
  
Love you all, Mai. 


	46. The Afterlife, and Matt

Denial  
  
Chapter 46 - The Afterlife, and Matt  
  
*****  
  
Kira picked the piece of paper out of my pasta, curious. She looked at it for a moment trying to work out what it was, and then she looked at the name, and the address.  
  
I could see the shock spread through her, and suddenly she began to shake. She bit her lip to keep it from trembling.  
  
"Do you think he's.." She could barely complete her sentence, "dead?" She whispered.  
  
"Yes." I said flatly. There was little else to say.  
  
Her lip trembled more violently.  
  
"But - argh! He had so much left to live for! His new job, and his friends, and." She trailed off, now thinking. After a couple of minutes of silence she spoke. "Do you think it was death eaters, or do you think he killed himself?"  
  
I sighed. I didn't want to tell her what I thought. It would break her. I decided to just not answer her. I pretended that she hadn't expected me to answer. I looked at Ruby who was watching Kira, bemused.  
  
"Ruby," I said gently, "We think that Matt is dead."  
  
"Like us?" She said timidly. I nodded. "Mummy, why would anyone kill themselves?" I laughed humourlessly. It seemed stupid enough to me, but to Ruby who had never heard of anyone doing such a thing before .  
  
"Some people get very, very sad, and feel they can never be happy again, so they kill themselves thinking that then it will all be over." How little they know.  
  
"Will he come and see us now?" Ruby said, sounding worried as though she might have said the wrong thing.  
  
I peered at the piece of paper that Kira was still holding, and reading again and again. Matt's address was the same as Kira's. They were already sending him to her.  
  
Then again if he'd only just died, then there would be some time before he got here. They probably added him to the pages of those he knew when he got his own pages. He would be on his way to the coach station right now.  
  
But if it took as long as it had taken us to get here then I he would be here in five hours. He would be here by six.  
  
Kira would come as close as she could to murdering herself in that time, I'm sure.  
  
There was a long while in which we were all silent, waiting for Kira to say something.  
  
Eventually she burst out "I'm going down to station to meet him." And she abruptly turned and walked out of the kitchen, out of the front door, and along the road in the direction of her own house.  
  
*****  
  
At six o'clock, after hearing nothing more from Kira I decided that we should check round her house to see if she was back and if she was ok. When we got there, there was no one in, but she'd managed to leave the key in the lock in her haste. I gently turned it, and stepped into her house. I was quite unfamiliar with it, as I'd only been in it once before, but the layout was quite similar to that of our house, and within a few minutes we'd made ourselves at home.  
  
She had a coffee table in her front room, and on it lay her pages. She had three, like me, but on the last one - as on Ruby's - there was only one name. Matthew Avidan Sherman.  
  
To pass the time Ruby began to explore the house, and I picked up a cheap paperback that Kira had bought from the supermarket, which was full of shallow women, and dashing men who used them.  
  
Fair enough.  
  
As it was nearing seven, and I and my daughter were very bored (but there was little better to do at our own house, and besides I wasn't the only one worried about Kira - apparently Ruby was too) we finally footsteps coming up the path. I peered out of the window to catch a glimpse of black before I heard the key scraping in the lock (I felt it was best to just leave it there. After all, I was looking after the house) and suddenly Kira, supporting Matt, who definitely looked pretty dead, stumbled into the room, slamming the door behind her. I jumped off of the sofa just as Kira and Matt collapsed on it.  
  
"Hi." Kira said breathlessly.  
  
Just then Ruby timidly crept into the room.  
  
"Hello Kira. Hello Matt." She said quietly.  
  
"Hello Ruby." Kira replied. Matt said nothing. Now he looked most definitely dead. He was white as a corpse, and his hair was tangled around his head. His eyes were closed and his breathing was barely perceptible.  
  
Blood smeared his wrists.  
  
"That's right, you sleep." Kira told him quietly. His head was resting on her lap, and his arm dangling off her knee. Kira stroked his cheek gently. Her face was tearstained, her hair frizzy in comparison to its normal sleek state.  
  
"Are you ok?" I asked. She nodded. "Do you need anything?"  
  
"Food would be nice." She said softly, looking up. "And some water?"  
  
"Right." I said, making my way to the kitchen. I returned a minute later with two glasses of water and a pack of chocolate biscuits. When I entered the room I saw that Matt was now sitting up, and looking around blearily, but he was leaning on Kira still. I handed a glass of water to Kira who gave it to Matt without thinking. I placed the other one on the arm of the sofa. Ruby was sitting on the floor fiddling with the carpet. I placed the chocolate biscuits on the table, and took four out, offering them first to Matt, then to Kira who declined, and then to Ruby. I bit into one myself, and put the unclaimed one beside the glass of water.  
  
For we while we sat just like that, Kira, comforting Matt, and I comforting Ruby, until Kira eventually let out a long breath, and asked Matt in hushed tones "Why did you do it?"  
  
"Everything fucked up." He replied flatly.  
  
I decided that Ruby could cope with hearing whatever Matt had to say, and even if she couldn't she had eternity to sort it out. I lifted her onto my lap, and pulled my arms around her. Kira fingered Matt's hair.  
  
"How?" She asked, in the same tone as her last question - like he had just committed a crime (which, strictly speaking, he had).  
  
Then he laughed. It was hollow, but it was laughter.  
  
"You were fucking murdered Kira!" He informed her loudly. I decided to remove Ruby from the room. It was too much for a five year old. For anyone. I took her through to the kitchen, and sent her to play in the garden. I could still hear their conversation through the dividing wall.  
  
"And I didn't get the job." Matt said. His voice was now muffled, but I could hear the bitter edge. "Went to a guy two years above me, in Hogwarts, who'd hated me with passion."  
  
"Who?"  
  
"Jake Gibson." I remembered him. He was more up himself than Sirius. And less worthy of it. He'd been in the year above me, Lily, and Kira, and was greatly admired by a large proportion of the female population of Hogwarts. He played in the Gryffindor team, so he was more high profile than Sirius. Matt had been in Ravenclaw by the way, a year below us, but he always looked like the year above, and he was bigger and stronger than Jake Gibson had ever been. Sometimes their dislike of each other had lead to fights, and they were quite well known for it, but we had never really known Matt until Kira had met him again at that party.  
  
"Oh him." Kira replied. "He was a wanker."  
  
"You're telling me?" There was a slight lapse in conversation here. Then Kira spoke.  
  
"Anything else?"  
  
"Yeah, Ali had a massive go at me for smoking weed - said it was doing my brain in - and Raphael and Neb backed her up and Jules just moved away, so they utterly slaughtered me, ignoring Jules who's worse than me, and we really hated each other. That was just before I found out you were dead."  
  
"That sounds fun." Kira said dryly.  
  
"It was." Matt replied shortly. "And then no one was talking to me, and I was completely depressed, no way to get out of it, and no one to get me out of it, and I just had to let go."  
  
"Didn't expect to wake up in a green tunnel did you?" Kira said, still dry.  
  
"Actually I woke up in a red tunnel." Matt informed her.  
  
"Really?"  
  
"Yehuh."  
  
"Fascinating. Ours was green."  
  
"There were five tunnels." He said, "I looked back at them. The middle one was just black, and had a sign over it saying 'The Veil' to it's left was 'Died of magical causes', and that must have been green. I remembered because that was you. The others were mine, which was 'Died of muggle causes' and red, and there was a pink one, and a turquoise one which were something like 'Disease' and 'Accident'"  
  
"How odd." Kira commented.  
  
Then there was silence. For a long time. Eventually I went out to Ruby, who was trying to do handstands, and told her we were going now. As we crept into the front room I saw that Matt was falling asleep on Kira's knee again. She mouthed "Goodbye" as we slipped out through the front door, and made our way back to 12 Pie-Cat Crescent.  
  
*****  
  
AN:/ Told you my 'creative energy' had been renewed. Look at this. I only updated yesterday. I will - at some point - Move the 'Interlude' to before part two, because it makes more sense - and would have more impact on a reader - there.  
  
Also, as I should have mentioned a long time ago - FIVE HUNDRED REVIEWS!  
  
I'm sure you'll make it to 600 shortly.  
  
Also - a long while ago - I said that there was no way this was going to last to 37 chapters.  
  
Well this is chapter 46.  
  
Anyway, I've had a great idea for the last chapter - even though it was pretty much what it was always going to be (well, since the afterlife idea started anyway. The last chapter, when I begun this story was, first going to be when Chloe and Sirius got together, and then it was going to be when Chloe and Ruby died, but then OotP came along).  
  
Anyway I have proof (well, at least proof to myself) that my creative energy HAS been restored. Not only have I had an idea for the next chapter, I ALSO began to write out this chapter in my head before I even thought about typing it, which - I just realised - is a thing I haven't done in a long time. It is always a good sign. (Despite sometimes forgetting some really good things you'd planned in your head).  
  
So! Thank you's is it?  
  
Bertiebottsgeorge - Sorry, I'll try to write really badly in future :P I'm glad you came back and read it anyway.  
  
Alyer - Aye, that he did. There are some years before Sirius dies, I'm afraid.  
  
Emily - One day, you realise, this story will end. As I have already explained I know what's going to happen in the last chapter. However we have some way to go yet. :D  
  
Padfootz-luvr - That he did. You know I had a theory about death, and the prophesy about Harry. Voldemort's pretty much immortal, so maybe Harry will die, but he will still be the best off. For a start he'll get to see his parents again, which is his heart's desire, and if the afterlife is anything like this, then. who knows.  
  
Captain Oblivious - Support realisticness! Despite fantasy. realistic stuff within fantasy. *thumbs up*  
  
Anyway, again, please review, long ones are good, and plot suggestions are good. Just mini on the side plotlines are groovy. As well as crazy ones which I will never do. :D  
  
- Mai 


	47. The Afterlife, and Cheese

Denial  
  
Chapter 47 - The Afterlife, and Ruby  
  
*****  
  
28th June. Ruby's birthday. And by gum was it gonna be a good'un. We had cake! We had cheap balloons! We had me! We had Kira! We had Messed-Up-Matt! And most importantly we had Ruby! In fact, I even got off my arse, and flooed my grandparents (the dead ones) to tell them that their great- granddaughter was five today!  
  
None of them even knew they had a great-granddaughter.  
  
In fact two of them didn't even realise that Chloe Black was me. The other one at least managed to figure it out.  
  
It's really odd seeing your grandparents young again. The couple had gone back to being around thirty, and the other - who was my dad's mother - looked about the same age as me - but then she could well be a witch, if my dad was a wizard, so she'd get to change her age whenever she wanted.  
  
I had no idea how you actually go about this business of changing age however. The idea kind of scared me. What if it was painful? Like changing shape was. Eeurgh.  
  
I hadn't got round to getting Ruby any presents, so I'd promised that we'd go shopping for some for her. We also had to go clothes shopping seeing as we'd been festering in ours for a while now. On the matter of money - Kira had said that the councillor had said we had enough to survive for a couple of months - depending on how sparingly it was spent - in our own bank accounts. I'd found credit cards in a draw in the kitchen, with bank statements. Kira had a map of NewBrum, which she had picked up in the council van. We could catch the X12 bus into the centre of town, which consisted of four high streets (don't ask me) North, South, East, and West, as well as a couple of shopping centres.  
  
At twelve o'clock on this day we gathered around the kitchen table, drew the musty curtains, and turned the lights off. I'd bought Ruby a large chocolate cake, with five blue candles, and red and orange icing which the assistant had charmed to say "Happy 5th Birthday Ruby" for five seconds, and then be in the shape of a cow's head for another five, before returning to the original message.  
  
Don't ask me why a cow's head. Please.  
  
Well she was delighted with it which was good, and even Matt managed a weak chuckle, which I considered a good sign. Well, according to Kira he'd had a phase where he'd laughed hysterically for about half an hour over nothing, but that was just a side affect of being depressed (apparently. I'd say crying, cutting, etc were side affects of being depressed, but apparently no, laughing hysterically is another one)... (Kira has some logic whereby laughing releases hormones or the like which make you happy again, and that was what was happening)... (I still don't believe her).  
  
Ruby managed to blow out all her candles, forgot to say her wish in her head so we all heard it ("I wish to see daddy again soon." Don't we all?) and we all ate one small slice each and then felt sick from the over chocolateness, except for Ruby who ate two larger ones, and then said she wanted to save the rest (though I have a suspicion she was sick of it too).  
  
Then Kira, Ruby, and me went into town to leave Matt to wallow in self-pity for a while.  
  
The bus dropped us off at the end of West High Street, so we investigated that one first. It was absolutely fascinating. The street was just dust and stones, and the people were all dressed in very old-fashioned clothes. Some of them wore the high-necked dressed, and long tailcoats of the turn of the century, and others were wearing the glitzy dresses of the 1920's. There were quite a few in army uniforms. The buildings were mainly red brick. Some were crumbling, but most were in pretty good repair. Immediately I could see a clock shop, an apothecary, and a large building which had a long sign over the front proclaiming the words "Guild for the soldiers of the Great War, and the Second World War".  
  
As we walked along the road we saw horses and carriages, and wizards, with their wands in full view chatting amiably to muggles outside magical pet shops, and the like. Almost all about us seemed to belong in another decade. A few of the group from the bus left here, but most of us continued up the street. Ruby looked truly shocked at what was going on around her, and I was too. If Kira wasn't she was either dense, hardened, or completely lost in her own thoughts. But Matt can be distracting sometimes even if you're not in love with him.  
  
We walked on for about half a mile until we came to the place where the four High Streets met. In the centre of the cross were four market stalls. The one facing us was selling home made cheeses, and had a row of testers lined up along the front. In a slight daze I walked up to it (it was in my line of walking). When I reached it I realised I had just walked up to it. It was a shock I can tell you. The woman behind it was wearing a green apron, and smiling at me. I thought for a second, then smiled back.  
  
"Want to try them?" She asked me. I assumed she was talking about the cheese, so I picked up a small piece skewered on a cocktail stick and tasted it.  
  
It was good.  
  
"Want to try some Ruby?" I asked her.  
  
"What is it?" She asked frowning.  
  
"Cheese." I said grinning.  
  
"Ok." I picked her up and skewered another piece of the same cheese on my cocktail stick, and gave it to her. "Yuck." she said.  
  
"Oh, I liked it." I replied. Ruby only wrinkled her nose. Kira tried some of the same cheese.  
  
"Hmmm." She said frowning. She took another piece while the woman was turned away. Then another, then another. "An acquired taste I feel. I want more however. What addictive drug do you suppose they put in it?" She was joking, but Ruby was looking scared.  
  
"There's no addictive drug in it." I informed her.  
  
"How do you know?" She asked.  
  
"In general people don't put addictive drugs in cheese." I informed her. I imagine she already knew that, but all the same. "Shall we buy some?" I asked Kira, who was trying another one.  
  
"We don't have any money." She pointed out, though it came out rather muffled as she was chewing at the time.  
  
"Damn." I muttered. "I mean, good point Kira. Uh, excuse me." I said to the woman behind the stall.  
  
"Yes?" She said, smiling at me once more. Quite frankly it was quite unnerving, but all the same.  
  
"Where exactly is the bank?" I asked her. She pointed thumb behind her. Great directions, thanks, were my exact thoughts of the time. But Kira had already grabbed a handful of the cheese off one of the plates, and was making her way over to a building between the East and South High Streets.  
  
It was the most spectacular build I've ever seen in my life. I even forgot to ask Kira for some of her cheese. It was about fifty feet tall, and purely made of stained glass. The way it was designed it looked like when light reflects off oil, shining a million different colours, dark and sultry even in the baking heat of summer. Words of black glass adorned the front, proclaiming it "The Bank of Britain". The NewBrum branch. It made me long to see the London one. This one had spires and towers, and despite the fact that the class was translucent, and coloured light was reflecting on the street down below you could see none of the happenings inside. Indeed it looked just like an empty building. Imagine all the charms they'd have to put on it to stop people breaking it to get in.  
  
The front doors were black glass as well. Kira pushed one open cautiously.  
  
Inside was a hubbub of activity. This bank, however, was not run by goblins. Candles with multi-coloured flames floated at random intervals. Even the desks were multi-coloured and seemed to be lit from within. I couldn't help but feel that the designer had gone a little bit over the top. But the whole afterlife was a little bit over the top.  
  
I approached one of the desks. Behind it was a handsome young wizard in deep red robes with his name (Rich) dancing over the front in curly orange letters.  
  
"Uh, hi." I said to him, "I'd like to take some money out of my account." I didn't really know what else to say. I have no idea how the process worked here.  
  
"Do you have a credit card?" I flashed him my own, and Ruby's. "Could I see?" I handed him mine. He checked the number on the back. "Follow me please." He led Ruby and me to one of the many doors leading off the room - like Gringotts. But instead of a stone tunnel and a cart when I stepped through the door I found we were in a lift. Rich looked at my card again, then typed the number 73 into a key pad. The numbers appeared on the wall about it in the same type of writing as Rich's name. Suddenly I got that floating feeling you get when the ground suddenly sinks beneath you.  
  
After about a minute the lift stopped with a clunk (at which point I decided I didn't trust it, and had no wish to ride in it again) and I got the sinking feeling when the ground stops falling from beneath you. The door swung open, and I found my self in a long corridor. Along each wall were rows and rows of cash machines like you get in the muggle world. He led us along it for a while until finally stopping beside one. He placed my card in it, typed in a few numbers, pressed the screen a few times (it appeared to be touch sensitive) and eventually spoke.  
  
"Choose four numbers - not your birthday - type them in, don't forget them, and don't tell them to anyone else. They'll be your password." I thought for a moment. Ruby's birthday. I typed in 2806. Rich pressed the ok button which appeared, on the screen, and suddenly a message flashed up "Welcome Chloe Black!" in large red letters. They disappeared quickly to be replaced by a menu of options - all the usual, Cash, Statement services, and so on. "You can see how to work this, can't you?"  
  
"Yep" I replied, touching "Cash". Another menu appeared. I gasped slightly. I'd forgotten about this. It was money before decimal currency. It had been nine years since I'd used it. And Ruby had been decimal all her life. I'd counted her lucky, but no, apparently not. I stood staring at the options on the screen for a minute, thinking 'Once day there'll be a reform'. Before taking out one pound.  
  
Just the one.  
  
It was a lot of money - around fifty years ago!  
  
A large gold coin appeared in an opening beneath the screen. I took it out, and pocketed it, before taking my credit card, which it had just returned to me.  
  
"You won't have to return down here again to take money out. You can simply use one of the cash machines on the street, or in any town. If you have anything else you need kept here then you will have to come down again." I was barely taking it in though. It hardly seemed worth it.  
  
A minute later we were reunited with Kira just outside the bank.  
  
"Weird place." She commented.  
  
"Oh no, I found it quite normal." I replied, as we set off to buy cheese.  
  
*****  
  
AN:/ I updated! I was stuck, but then. I was inspired!  
  
Which was jolly.  
  
By the way anyone who hasn't read this in ages make sure you've read the chapter entitled "Interlude". Because I just moved to chapter 40 (which means the reviews for chapters 40 - 44 will be messed up, but hey.)  
  
Yes, reviews, replies, thanks, and such:  
  
Chocolate Taco - Glad to se you're back! Yes. I have a great idea for future chapters. It is - however - quite odd. It'll be fun though!  
  
Zeldagrl436 - Yeah, I cried too when Sirius died. I was depressed for the whole weekend, and wrote a letter of complaint to JK Rowling. Never sent it though. Felt it would discourage her.  
  
Emily - Yeahs, well, I like Matt. I feel he is a good character (despite depressive tendencies). So he had to die, and anyway it seemed like the a good way to kilol him for Kira before the last person who is going to die and return to them does die (I'm not telling you who it is)... (though I may have mentioned it in a previous note which would be unfortunate).  
  
Bertiebottsgeorge - I kept going. At a slow rate, but all the same. The next chapter shouldn't be too long, seeing as I finished this one in the middle of them doing something. More shopping I'm afraid.  
  
Singergurlusa - Of course Sirius will turn up... in fifteen years.  
  
Elvencherry07 - I will skip years eventually. I just have to establish the general ness of the afterlife first. Which will - sadly - take a while. But it's only a year and a few months to Lily and James.  
  
Gryffindor-rox - I took your advice - shopping. I was trying to think of something really exciting to happen, but it alluded me, so I had them shop, but then that became an adventure in itself.  
  
Alyer - Eenk. I'll explain in a minute.  
  
M*andy, luvin yah - hooray! Anymore food?  
  
Child of the Wolves - It will end - In about a million years, because although I have a final chapter any number of things could happen before then.  
  
Padfootz-luvr - yeah, no sorry the pixie dust didn't work. Give me an extra big dose this time.  
  
Captain Oblivious - Hooray for Sirius! Hooray for death! Hooray for the death of Sirius!  
  
Ok, I'll go now. Just one last thing, to make it clear to everyone, so no one else asks me...  
  
SIRIUS WILL DIE AS IN ORDER OF THE PHOENIX! IE. IN FIFTEEN YEARS FROM WHERE THE STORY IS NOW! His death will not be the end though.  
  
Ok, the ending death can really be only one of two people, quite frankly.  
  
No, stop giving things away mai!  
  
Ok, tata, mushes. 


	48. The Afterlife, and Lily Doll

Denial  
  
Chapter 48 – The afterlife, and Lily Doll  
  
*****  
  
After buying our cheese (which was difficult as the woman asked for a groat. A groat, I ask you! Then she explained it was four pennies. I gave her my pound coin, she tutted, and gave me a large amount of change) we moved on in a clockwise direction to the next stall. This was a kind of arty hippie type stall. Tie-dye crap and such. And they sold purses. This was useful seeing as I needed a purse for the masses of change I now had. And another groat later I did. A deep purple and blue one, which was jolly. Kira declined saying she'd buy one from another place later. She's not the tie-dye type. I also bought Ruby a bracelet which she insisted on having. It was three thin strips of red leather plaited. My daughter doesn't have bad taste really.  
  
Opposite this stall was another street. It was rather twee, you could tell just by looking at it. Then again a lot of people like that. Very..... white. And happy. And 'rock and roll'. I ventured down it a few metres, and the Kira suddenly pulled me back.  
  
"I don't like it." She said. I could see what she meant. The nearest shop said "Sunshine records" and had a large smiling sun painted on the front window. That should be enough to put anyone off.  
  
We returned to the centre of the cross, and moved around clockwise again. This time there was a stall selling novelty NewBrum gifts. Little models of the bank, and the like. The East High Street looked far more promising than the North High Street.  
  
The first few steps should a shop selling magical instruments for astronomy, only in very wacky styles, rainbow painted, and the like. I had little desire for any astronomy equipment, however, and so hurried on. On the other side of the street was a coffee shop – Called 'Tarbuck's'. A* for originality. Kira decided she wanted coffee, however, so dragged us in there.  
  
Inside it was a hive of activity. Young people, and business types bustling around, jostling for space, grabbing tables as soon as they were free. There were black leather sofas around the walls, and tables dotted around, stacks with magazines, newspapers, and even books. We pushed our way up to the counter, and joined the queue.  
  
Once Kira had got her coffee, I had a hot chocolate piled high with whipped cream, and Chloe had an apple juice, we slunk off to the side. Luckily a gap appeared on one of the sofas, so I sat down quickly, placing my hot chocolate on the table beside me, and pulled Ruby onto my knee. Kira balanced on the edge of the table. I picked up the nearest newspaper: The LifeLine  
  
'The Dark Lord Strikes Again  
  
'More and more Aurors are being lost to the serial killer who calls himself 'Lord Voldemort'. This morning was no exception. Auror Maxwell Li, his wife Gloria, and his four children entered the afterlife this morning, after so called Death Eaters attacked. It is believed the illegal killing curse was used. This is similar to the attack at the house of auror-in-training, Sirius Black, earlier this week, however in this incident the man in question survived. He is now believed to be grieving over the loss of his wife, and child,'  
  
My God, I was in the paper.  
  
'who entered the afterlife on the evening on the 21st.'  
  
"Kira, look at this. I'm in the paper." Kira looked.  
  
"So's Ruby." She pointed out.  
  
"Yeah, I knew that." I replied. I wasn't stupid.  
  
"What?" Said Ruby, hearing her name.  
  
"We're in the paper. A report on deaths, Lord Voldemort, and such." She only frowned.  
  
"Why aren't I there?" Kira asked. "I died too. I was killed in the same incident, why wasn't I mentioned?" I shrugged.  
  
"Maybe 'cause they didn't know, 'cause you name isn't Black."  
  
Kira grumbled uselessly for a moment, then began sipping her coffee. I read the rest of the article, but it was basically all stuff I knew already, or stuff that happened every day.  
  
Well, not every day. But often enough.  
  
After I'd finished my hot chocolate I stood up, picking up Ruby.  
  
"Shall we actually get you some presents now?" I asked.  
  
"Yeah." She said, grinning.  
  
"Alreet, then."  
  
We left Tarbuck's, onto East High Street. We wandered down in for a while, until I saw a toyshop. Well, a doll shop. But not a pretty little dresses, and porcelain faces one, oh no.  
  
Wacky.  
  
That was the only way to describe it.  
  
Groovy, maybe.  
  
Weird.  
  
But, worth it.  
  
"Ruby, do you want one of those?" I asked, excitedly. Even I was excited, see? They must have been good.  
  
She looked up at me, grinning. "Yeh!"  
  
Inside I could smell incense burning, and there were lots of chimes hanging from the ceiling, tinkling softly (though they were too high up to reach, and there was no breeze). Dolls lined every wall, filled baskets, and shelves, and cabinets. Each one was different from every other one. They all seemed to have a magical touch. There were many different styles, sizes, poses. There was even one as tall as me (which admittedly isn't the greatest height in the world). (If there had been one as tall as Matt then that would have been scary). They were made of many different materials. Some were plastic, painted wood, wool, felt, just normal doll material. In a cabinet behind the counter was a doll made of pure silk. She had golden hair which moved around her head in long tendrils, as if it was in water. She wore a deep purple, and pale pink patterned dress in a Chinese design. Her fingers were long, and thin, and her feet were in black ballet shoes. She was 10 pounds (a bloody lot in old money).  
  
Luckily Ruby's attention was elsewhere. She had picked up three dolls already, and had just fallen into a large basket with more in.  
  
"Mummy!" She cried. I went over to lift her out, laughing. She showed me the dolls she had so far. I looked at the prices first. Two of them were a shilling each, and the other was sixpence. The first one had deep blue skin, and a purple mouth, and eyes. The eyes darted around, and spun in circles occasionally. The doll's hair was white, and very fine, and straight, and fell elegantly to the doll's waist. The doll's fingernails were long, and white, and her dress was long, and black with about fifty layers.  
  
"I want a dress like that, just blue." Ruby told me.  
  
"It is a rather nice dress." I said reverently.  
  
The next doll was larger, but more willowy. She had curly golden hair, and a dress of loads of different shades of green. Her shoes were bright orange boots. There was a multicoloured untouchable mist, which seemed to flow around her like water.  
  
The last doll was miniature. She had bright rainbow coloured hair in little braids, and her eyes also swirled around with different colours. Her dress was a polka dot dancing dress, which spun around her, and she was wearing light baggy trousers underneath.  
  
I thought for a moment.  
  
But not for very long.  
  
"You want them all for your birthday?"  
  
Ruby looked up at me grinning broadly.  
  
"Yes please. Yes please. Yes please. I'll play with them all the time I promise. I already thought of a name for one of them."  
  
"Really, what's that?" I asked, as we made our way to the checkout.  
  
"Meghana. For the blonde one." I remembered that two of Ruby's friends from school had been called Megan and Hannah. Strange coincidence, that...  
  
The woman behind the desk looked as if she could have been one of the dolls herself. She had short blue and pink hair sticking out in tufts, black army boots, a leather jacket, and a white petty-coat type skirt. She had about fifty piercings in each ear, and her nose, and lip. They each had a crystal of a different colour. She was wearing purple lipstick, and green eye shadow. She smiled in a friendly manner. As she took the dolls.  
  
"Are these all for you?" She asked Ruby. "You are lucky. I always really liked this one." She said, holding up the one with rainbow hair. This made Ruby look very proud of herself for gaining the approval of this woman.  
  
"It's her birthday." I explained. "I didn't have time to but anything before we- well, we only just died."  
  
The woman looked at us sadly "I was six years ago. It's terrible when people die so young. Then again I asked for it." She said quietly. I raised my eye-brows at her. "Drugs." She muttered.  
  
"Oh you should meet Kira's boyfriend." I said, nodding to Kira, who was gripping a doll very tightly, and looked about to cry. I handed the woman her money, and went to see what was up. But I didn't have to ask her. One glance at the doll was enough.  
  
"That doll looks like Lily." Ruby said, stating the very thing Kira and myself were thinking. Exactly like Lily, just more made of material, rather than skin. The doll was wearing dress that faded from lilac to indigo, and clutching a gauzy green scarf around her shoulders. She was smiling in a shy way. Her hair was vivid red, and wavy, and her eyes from brilliant green.  
  
After a while of silence I said "I'll go halfs with you." To Kira.  
  
"Yeah alright." She said weakly. Lily cost us another sixpence each. I promised Ruby that she could play with Lily too.  
  
Then we made our way out of the shop (waving to the woman, and promising to indulge ourselves again sometime. By this time she was singing Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds to herself) and back home.  
  
*****  
  
AN: Dear God that took a long time. I am most awfully sorry. I have had so much coursework. In fact I'm supposed to be doing some right now, but hey. I just finished the next chapter. That's a good achievement. It's about as long as the coursework's meant to be.  
  
History.  
  
I probably won't update for a while. Again. Coursework. Also I'm going to Belgium (on a coursework aiding history trip, but in general we get a lot more free time to roam with our friends, than look at battlefields). The trouble is I speak neither Belgiumish, nor French. Which is a slight problem. In fact my only friends who speak French who are going are a couple who will spend the entire time have sex, so...  
  
I really will shut up now.  
  
Thank you's:  
  
Draco's Gal: What drugs are you on? :P Or have you just not been taking your medication. Is that the problem?  
  
Bertiebottsgeorge: To describe things like a picture you think of it like a picture on your head and describe what you see.  
  
Emily: Lily and James are coming soon. Well there's a semi-Lily now.  
  
Orli is mine: Oh no, suicide is impossible. But it's ok because the suicidal person has eternity to become happy again. Cannibals might not be so happy. Wait... meat... another problem to tackle.  
  
Dizzyblonde: You're right, it s a fabulous story.  
  
Elvencherry07: Ooooooooh... I like laughing. It's so much fun.  
  
InsertRandomInsanityHere: Yes. You've probably stopped checking every day by now. I've taken too long.  
  
Lady*Wildfire*Star: Have you got here yet? Are you still reading?  
  
Padfootz-luvr: No, no inspiration till very late on I'm afraid. I feel Lily Doll was a stroke of genius.  
  
The all mighty and powerful*M: Oh. I don't get the food then. :(  
  
PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE review. Even if you've never before. It would help keep me going! Please!  
  
I'll try to update. I'll just probably fail.  
  
- Mai. 


	49. The Afterlife, and the tale of Ruby’s do...

Denial  
  
Chapter 49 – The Afterlife, and the tale of Ruby's dolls (And Daddy the Comb, and James the Lampshade)  
  
*****  
  
"It was a quiet Saturday morning at number 49 Sandford Road, in Birmingham. Daddy Comb woke up, yawned, stretched, stood up, and got dressed. He decided to wear his blue t-shirt, and black jeans, and bright green and yellow stripy socks. Well only one sock, as he was a comb, and so only had one foot. He was in a good mood. Today he was going to see his friends, Lily Doll, and James the Lampshade. They were his best friends in the world, and he loved them more than anything, except for maybe his wife, Chloe, and especially his daughter Ruby (who were currently on another planet, on holiday).  
  
"He set off to see Lily Doll, and James the Lampshade at ten o'clock sharp on his big, black motorbike (which everyone admired) and arrived just as the nearby church rang its bells for 10:30. He was a very punctual man.  
  
"He was so happy he skipped down their garden path to meet them. Had anyone been watching they might have decided he was crazy. But luckily nobody did see him... except for Meghana!  
  
"Meghana was a beautiful temptress. She had long golden locks, which fell in a cascade about her head, and a dress of deep, intoxicating green. She could seduce a man with one smile.  
  
"Meghana was lying in wait at the house of Lily Doll, and James the Lampshade, planning to charm the (very handsome) Daddy Comb (Or Sirius, as he was often known).  
  
"She had already done a terrible thing. She had tied Lily Doll, and James the Lampshade up with a few strong strands of Lily's beautiful, long, red hair, and locked them in the attic of their house.  
  
"She wanted it to be as empty as possible, so that she could share it with Sirius (as it was much nicer than Sirius' house, which was a bit of a mess, really). She had turned it into a lair of love, with perfume, music, and red satin cushions.  
  
"Sirius rang the doorbell. Meghana answered. Her hair half covered her face. Before Sirius could even begin to ask who she was she flicked it back, over her shoulder, and flashed him a brilliant smile.  
  
"He was struck dumb. He was standing before and extraordinarily beautiful creature. And she was smiling at him. He stood there lapping it all up. But gradually he remembered. He didn't know her. He was married. He had a daughter. He loved them far more than this woman's beauty. And he wanted to see Lily Doll and James the Lampshade.  
  
"'Where are Lily and James?' he asked.  
  
"'Out.' She replied in a deep, seductive voice.  
  
"'Oh. Well. I'll be off then.' He said, before she reached out, grabbed his arm, and pulled him roughly into the house.  
  
"'You're going nowhere, sir. I haven't played with you yet.' Meghana proclaimed.  
  
"'Oo-er.' Sirius said. 'That was bad phrasing.' Meghana only raised an eyebrow. Then she looked at Sirius, her face suddenly changed. Her eyes were pleading, her lips pouting.  
  
"'Please comb my hair.' She said in a suddenly weak, and timid voice.  
  
"Sirius obliged. At least for a while. Then a plan crept into his mind. He slowly combed Meghana's beautiful hair around her neck, and tied it at the back, then attached the other end to the leg of the coffee table. Meghana never noticed a thing. She was too busy moaning erot- I mean... moaning in a strange manner.  
  
"Then Sirius backed off. Meghana never noticed a thing. She now seemed to be growling softly. Sirius decided he should search the house for Lily Doll, and James the Lampshade, or for other intruders, so he exited the front room, and made his way up the stairs.  
  
"At the top he saw another intruder. He kept his distance, and tried to edge around her, but she spoke, and he could tell by her voice, and the look of her that she was not a bad person, like evil Meghana.  
  
"'Black.' The girl addressed him. She was an amazingly bright, and beautiful creature, about the same height as Sirius's daughter Ruby, and she looked as different to the word she had just uttered as was possible. She was rainbow all over, with bright pink hair. 'Com with me' She said.  
  
"Sirius followed her to find that the whole first floor of Lily Doll, and James the Lampshade's house was a giant maze, the walls of which were beautiful bright paintings.  
  
"'I painted all these myself.' She informed him. 'My name's Ziazan, by the way. It means rainbow.'  
  
"Sirius followed her mutely, admiring her beautiful pictures. She lead him for what seemed like forever, and far beyond the walls of the house. When all of a suddenly the maze morphed. It became giant pillows and chair and sheets which had been arranged into a maze like structure, but an uncomplicated one, and bit like a child's game. Once through this they came to a cavern which was a lot of evergreen branches made into a den, with a tree stump table in the centre.  
  
"On the table was a Chinese checkers bored, with all the multicoloured pieces arranged in the correct places around the edge. Ziazan began to move them into the middle section, in an intricate pattern. Sirius watched her all the while she did this, slightly scared by the general events of the day.  
  
"Once all the pieces were in the middle Ziazan placed a small stone from the floor in the middle. It was a very round stone like a marble. Sirius had no idea what she was doing, or why he was there.  
  
"'We'll have to wait for a while.' Ziazan said, as she began putting the game pieces back in their original places. She threw the stone into the branches making the sides of the den. 'First we'll play.'  
  
"Ziazan and Sirius began to play Chinese checkers in silence. Half way through Sirius decided he should speak.  
  
"'What are we waiting for?'  
  
"'The entrance to open so we can find your friends of course.' Ziazan replied. She had concocted an intricate system on the board, in which she could easily jump over Sirius's and her own pieces, and easily filled up the opposite space. She won by miles. But Sirius decided to bear in mind what she had done, in case they played again.  
  
"They did not play again, however. After Ziazan had won she stood up, and walked up the wall of the den, and through the ceiling. Sirius, for some reason, did not question what had just happened, and followed her up to the next floor of the house.  
  
"This floor was in total darkness. As Sirius stepped forward he gradually saw small purple orbs light the space in front of him. Then amidst them he saw another woman. At this point Ziazan shook his hand, turned on her heel, and marched off.  
  
"The woman had dark skin, and dark clothes, but her hair stood out bright white in the darkness. This woman was the princess of the night, and daughter of Lord Death. Her name was Aradia.  
  
"'So, Sirius Black.' She spat out his name. 'We meet again.'  
  
"Sirius had no idea that they had met in the first place.  
  
"'Indeed.' He said, bluffing.  
  
"'And as was the case last time. I will BEAT you.'  
  
"'Indeed.' He said again, more uncertainly.  
  
"'Hah! So even you have no hope. Very well. This should be an easy game.' She said, in a cold voice, which reminded Sirius was deep, and overpowering ocean currents. 'Bring forth our weapons.'  
  
"An invisible being placed a board in the air in front of Aradia. Sirius walked slowly towards it, expecting swords, guns, wands. None such luck. It was a Chinese checkers board.  
  
"'Oh, how original.' He muttered.  
  
"'So long as I beat you it doesn't matter how original it is or isn't.' Aradia snapped. Sirius simply raised his eyebrows. 'I shall be purple, and you shall be black.' She said.  
  
"'No you be black.' Sirius said.  
  
"'Certainly not.' Aradia replied.  
  
"'No, I'm serious.' Sirius said in an amusing and overdone fashion, which is funny none the less.  
  
"'You may be Sirius, but you are also Black. You will play with the black pieces!' Aradia declared.  
  
"So Sirius played with the black pieces, without complaint. As he played he racked his brains to remember how Ziazan won. He imitated her moves. It was harder seeing as Aradia was a more experienced player, however in the end, with one final push he beat her, and she had only one stone yet to place in its final hole.  
  
"'I win! Look who's evil now!' Sirius exclaimed (though he wasn't quite sure why). Then Ziazan burst from the shadows in a ray of multicoloured light, and said 'And the winner is... SIRIUS BLACK!'  
  
"Aradia swept off into he shadows, muttering darkly, and Sirius proceeded to the stairs which seemed to have materialised behind where she had been standing. Then he made his way to the third floor (the Potter household seemed to have gained two extra).  
  
"When he reached the top he found Lily Doll and James sitting back to back, trapped by Lily's hair. He untied them quickly, and told them to follow him downstairs. He didn't know what would happen on the way down, but he had to take a chance. To his surprise, however, the two floors on which Ziazan and Aradia had been on had disappeared, and the steps lead straight to the room where Meghana was still tied up. She had now turned into a dog however.  
  
"As Lily Doll went to make them all a cup of tea after their ordeal Sirius said 'Woof' to Meghana, then settled down for a nice chat with James the Lampshade.  
  
"And they all lived happily ever after (if a bit confused).  
  
"THE END  
  
"Night night, Ruby."  
  
"Night Mummy. Love you."  
  
"I love you too."  
  
*****  
  
AN: Don't ask. It just seemed worth it.  
  
I hope you appreciated it anyway.  
  
Thankyou's:  
  
Shayomac: Yey! Favourites! I like favourites. :D  
  
Captain Oblivious: I had fun in Belgium. Apart from on the last day me and my friend had to buy loads of crisps to counter the chocolate. So much chocolate... Anyway, have fun in Canada when you go there. I intend to go there one day. And Italy. And Australia.  
  
Mintytoothpick: Oooooh :( Well, as you see they all live happily ever after.  
  
Rumblexfish: :D Yey! Creative! Creative energy... I found some!  
  
Padfootz-luvr: You see, it worked. A chapter after only... a week or something! And bearing in mind the four days I was in Belgium that's pretty good.  
  
Elvencherry07: Maybe. I don't know. I've never had Tarbucks coffee.  
  
The all mighty and powerful*M: Do I get mentos? *pleading look*.  
  
Okee dokey, dudes.  
  
I'm off to go ins Bett now.  
  
Ich bin tired.  
  
Auf Wiedesehen!  
  
- Mai 


	50. The Afterlife, and Regulus

Denial  
  
Chapter 50 – The Afterlife, and Regulus  
  
*****  
  
I missed Sirius a lot. A very lot. A very large lot. In fact an absolutely massive lot. Massiver than a planet. A universe. A lot.  
  
But eh, it couldn't be helped.  
  
Kira was not helping either. For the past two weeks she'd spent almost all her time with Matt. Getting high, I think. And having sex. And whatnot.  
  
Meanwhile I subscribed to The LifeLine – a paper for those who still cared about what was going on in the land of the living. Which for the moment I did. And Sirius being and Auror – almost – it could be even more relevant.  
  
The thing is I really really missed him, but I knew he couldn't die. At least not yet. Because he had to help get rid of Voldemort. Because Voldemort was killing people left right and centre. And although there was an afterlife, I felt people deserved to live a little first. And maybe have kids. Because it's a wonderful feeling.  
  
If painful.  
  
Me and Ruby ended up going out into town most days to pass the time. We'd managed to spend quite a lot of our money. Well, my money. I told Ruby I'd steal hers once mine ran out, and she didn't object. She said she had too much anyway.  
  
For a five-year-old maybe.  
  
Today, the 15th July (my Birthday, this time) we set off at 11 o'clock, planning to find somewhere new to lunch, and look around some of the shops in the alleyways branching off the main streets. We'd discovered that South High Street only had about two shops on it, and neither of those held much interest.  
  
We automatically went down East High Street. Half way down we passed the doll shop. I decided we should pop in, say hello, see if they had any new and interesting dolls, that I could buy for myself (Ruby would take care of any I did buy, of course, but they were just such brilliant dolls).  
  
Ruby rushed off straight away to a new display at the back of male dolls. I wondered along, taking it all in, until I reached the counter. The woman who'd been there before wasn't behind it. Instead another woman, slightly older looking was sitting on a chair, with her feet resting on a display case, reading a paper. She glanced up and smiled at me, and I smiled back. She put the paper down, and stood up.  
  
"Can I help you?" She asked.  
  
"Er, I don't think so. I'm just looking. I bought four dolls last time I came in though." I assured her.  
  
"Four?" She asked, astonished.  
  
"Yeah, it was..." I trailed off. The paper she'd been reading was today's issue of the LifeLine – I hadn't got my copy yet – the headline was "Family Rivalries lead to Death" ...and the picture looked exactly like Sirius. "Can... Can I look at the paper? Please?" I looked at the woman pleadingly.  
  
"Oh... sure." She handed it to me, looking a little confused.  
  
I inspected the face. It was Sirius, without spikes and somehow he wasn't quite right... I frowned, utterly confused. It was Sirius, yet it wasn't! He looked younger too. After a moment of panic, I read the caption.  
  
'Pictured above: Regulus Black, reportedly a death eater, is murdered only two weeks after his brother's family are killed by Voldemort's supporters. Could it have been revenge?'  
  
Black. Killed. Two weeks. Me and Ruby. Sirius!  
  
His brother had been a death eater? I had no idea! Then again, I wouldn't shout about it either.  
  
But Sirius wouldn't have killed him... Bollocks, of course he would. He almost killed Snape for just touching our child! And now Voldemort had killed her... who knows what he could do.  
  
Fuck.  
  
I stared at the picture, hating it, hating what could have happened. What would happen to Sirius now? Azkaban? He couldn't go to Azkaban. I'd only heard how bad it was there, but I couldn't bear it if Sirius had to suffer that.  
  
I searched for anyway that it might not be him, us, his brother. But... it... it could be... and yet the situation was too similar. Exactly the same. It had to be...  
  
Then in a brief moment of logic I began to read the article. I scan read until I saw the name 'Sirius'. It said:  
  
'Black's brother, Sirius, survived and attack by Voldemort's supporters – known as death eaters – just two weeks ago. However Sirius Black's wife, and daughter both died. The Black family are well known for their pure wizard blood, but Sirius's wife, Chloe, had been muggle born. This could well have caused tension within the family.'  
  
I never knew. If I had... who knows.  
  
I was distracted at that point by Ruby.  
  
"Look, at this mummy, it's daddy!"  
  
"What!?" I cried in alarm "What's happened to daddy?" I said desperately.  
  
"No, this doll. It's him."  
  
I blinked, breathed in, and out, and worked out where I was for a moment. "Oh." I said, trying to hide my disappointment. I went over to look. "Well... it does look a bit like daddy. Not quite." I said, critically. I couldn't get the image of Regulus out of my mind.  
  
"He's got a motorbike like daddy." Ruby said, pointing.  
  
"Oh yes. I bet it doesn't fly though." I said, still regaining my composure.  
  
"I could make it fly, if you want." The woman behind the desk said, slightly timidly.  
  
"Oh, it's ok. I don't think we'll buy it." I said apologetically.  
  
"Mummy's got a NEWT in charms anyway." Ruby told her.  
  
"Oh really? A witch?" The woman said, suddenly becoming more confident. "I thought you looked familiar." I looked up at her quickly, confused. "I must have seen you around Hogwarts." I didn't recognise her... much... maybe a bit... but... no... "I remember Sirius too," she nodded at the article, "but not Regulus."  
  
I shook my head. "I don't remember Regulus either."  
  
"What about Sirius?" She asked, out of curiosity.  
  
"Oh yes." I said darkly.  
  
"Sirius is daddy!" Ruby piped up cheerfully.  
  
"Oh yes." I said again, in the same tone. The woman looked at me, stunned. "Chloe Black, pleased to meet you." I said flatly, holding out a hand.  
  
"Celia Olivier" She said quietly, shaking my hand. She seemed at a loss for something to say.  
  
Just at that moment someone else came in. The woman who'd served us last time.  
  
"Oh, hello again." She said cheerily.  
  
"Soph." Celia said to her, "you know Sirius Black, and his brother."  
  
"Yes." The woman replied.  
  
"This is Chloe Black." She introduced me. Her tone seemed distant. 'Soph' gasped.  
  
"Oh, my God, I'm so sorry. It's so bad. And in the news and that. Just what you need when you've just died, isn't it." She hurried over to me and hugged me, which was slightly unexpected, but appreciated all the same. Kira hadn't been around much recently. "And is this Ruby?" She said releasing me. "Oh you poor thing." She knelt down and hugged Ruby as well, who had no idea what was going on.  
  
Sirius had the potential to kill. I knew he did. I wished he didn't, but I knew he did. He wasn't one to let his loved ones get hurt, and the culprits get away with it. He killed his own brother. At least he probably killed his own brother. Why? Couldn't he have just saved himself? Couldn't he have just been thankful for his own life? Why did he have to throw it away?  
  
What if he ended up in Azkaban?  
  
"Do you need a drink?"  
  
"What? Oh." Soph had just spoken. It had taken me a while to process the words. "What about Ruby?"  
  
"Don't worry." Said Celia. "You drown your sorrows, Soph'll probably help you, and I'll look after Ruby."  
  
I thought about it for a moment. But to be honest drowning my sorrows was exactly what I wanted to do.  
  
*****  
  
AN: God, I'm sorry I'm late.  
  
I'm also sorry it's pretty crap.  
  
My writing skill in the art of fanfiction is deteriorating.  
  
My song writing skill is not, however, if you want to read my stuff on fictionpress. (Same name and ID).  
  
*Big, cheesy grin*  
  
So, anyway. Reveiws. Thank yous. Whatnot.  
  
Elvencherry07  
  
Padfootzluvr  
  
Mintytoothpick  
  
Captain Oblivious  
  
The all mighty and powerful*M  
  
Gryffindor-rox  
  
InsertRandomInsanityHere  
  
LuNaMoOn1  
  
Acrobat216  
  
My mind is too blank to think of comments.  
  
I'm also sorry, because I could have got this chapter up much earlier, but I didn't. Damnation. I'll try and get the next written soon.  
  
Oh well. My excuse is still coursework. And having too much of a life. (Not that I do, but it's a good excuse).  
  
Never mind.  
  
Love Mai  
  
(ps. Chapter 50 – a bit of an achievement really). 


	51. The Afterlife, and Alcohol

Denial

Chapter 51 – The Afterlife, and Alcohol

*****

"It could have been worse though." Soph managed to say, slurring each of her words, "My boyfred killed _me_!" She giggled, in an unnaturally high-pitched voice, and slid off her stool to sit under the table. I slid off the table after her, catching her laugh.

"Who's fuck is Fred?" I asked, in between giggles.

"No, my _boy_fred." She said loudly, giggling harder.

"Where's your Ns gone, woman?" I screeched. "It's boy_friend_!"

"I know, boyfred." She said, again. I laughed harder. I think she was lighter weight than me. "Anyway." She said firmly, making me shut up. "Mine killed me, yours was aveging your death. Which would you prefer?"

"Either way, I'm dead!" I replied.

"Yeah, but, you would't be happy if your boyfred – husbad i' your case – had killed you, would you?"

"I'm not happy now. He's off to bloody Azkaban, to have his life sucked from him slowly. He'll go insane." I reached up to the top of the table to get my drink, but I tipped it as I was bringing it back down, and half of it poured all over my face. I put the glass down on the floor – a bit too hard, maybe – and wiped the wine from my face, with my hands, before licking all the deep red liquid from them. Soph was laughing again – this time at me. I decided to laugh at me too.

"I knew someone who went to Aztabad." Soph told me, wiping a bit of the wine I'd missed from my chin, with her thumb, before sticking it in her thumb. She continued to speak with the thumb still in her mouth. "She was a complete bitch. In Slytherin."

"Oh." I said, understandingly.

"Yeah, but what I always said was that it wouldn't work. She was a bitch, and dogs aren't affected by dementors." She laughed insanely at this. "Of course, no animals are affected by them. A shame though. She deserved it."

"Yeah." I agreed, but I didn't laugh this time. Sirius had told me he was an animagus when we'd got married. He was a dog. Would he be affected if he transformed while he was there?

Wait, no. He was an illegal animagus. If he'd transformed they'd have keep him there for even longer.

I swigged the last of my wine, dribbling some from the corners of my mouth.

"I'm going to the loo." I said. 

I stood up to find Ruby and Celia had disappeared. There was a note on the table;

Took Ruby to the Café next door. Come and find us there. – Celia 

I hadn't even noticed that they'd left. Maybe I'd drunk a little too much. I staggered to the ladies through the small pub, getting a few funny looks from the few people there at lunchtime.

The glare of the light in the loos was painful, and I squinted as I made my way to a cubicle. Once I have relieved myself, and walked over to the sinks, and stared at myself in the mirror.

My head looked like it was bleeding, and the rivulets of wine running from the corners of my mouth made me look like a vampire. My skin was blotchy, and my expression was not pleasant. My tongue, when I opened my mouth appeared to have been stained black by the dark wine. I splashed water into my mouth to try and clean it. It didn't work.

I looked an utter state. And as I looked I realised that that was me. That was who I was. And I didn't like who I was. And I wanted to be someone different, with a different life, and different things, much as I loved many of the things in my own life. They just seemed so wrong. And I'd lost Sirius. And I suddenly wanted to cry, because I just felt like shit.

I still had Ruby though. She was just next-door; I should go and see her. Because she wouldn't care what I looked like.

Then I grew cold, and a sudden panic ripped through me. I'd left Ruby in the company of a stranger, and they'd just disappeared together, and they might be next-door, or they might be anywhere.

I froze, and stared at myself for a moment. Then I ran. I ran out of the loos, banging on the door, and barged through the pub. I briefly remembered Soph, but dismissed her as unimportant. I'm sure she'd get over it if she found I'd run off, but I wouldn't get over it if I lost Ruby.

When I got to the street. I ran back the way we'd came, only to find the next building along was not a café, but a second hand bookshop. I ran on, hardly running in a straight line. At one point I swerved into the road, and almost got hit by a lorry. That was when I stopped, breathed in, and, ignoring my stitch, hurried on to the end of the road.

I got there without once seeing a single café. I hurried back the way I came, looking more carefully at each of the shops as I passed. I started to cry. When I got to the bookshop I looked carefully at the space between it and the pub, wondering if there was anything I'd missed. There was just a bare wall. I wondered if it was like platform 9 ¾ and ran into the wall, to the astonishment of passers by.

The wall was solid. I walked along it, pressing against it, looking for any weak point. Halfway along I felt a hand on my shoulder, but I kept on walking, until the hand pulled me back. It belonged to Soph.

"What are you doing?" She said, attempting a calming voice.

"Thingy said" I said, forgetting Celia's name, "that she was taking Ruby to the café next-door, and there is no café next door, and I want Ruby back!" I cried.

"Shhhhhh. There is a café next door, look." Soph said, pointing to the other side of the pub. The sign above the door said "Spencer's Café".

I had no time to for feeling foolish. I ran to the door, bashed it aside, knocking someone down, and rush to the end of the café where Ruby and Celia were sitting together, without even saying sorry. I heard Soph's slurred apologies as I knelt next to Ruby, and hugged her as tightly as I could.

"Ow." She said. I loosened my grip.

"I love you." I told her.

"I love you too, mummy." She said.

"Thank you." I said to Celia.

"You're welcome." She replied, sipping her coffee.

I released Ruby. "What've you got there?" I asked, pointing to her plate.

"Cornish pasty." Celia informed me.

"Ok." I stood up, and reached in my bag, which was swinging from my shoulder for my purse. I couldn't find it. I emptied the contents of my bag onto the table. My purse still wasn't there. "Shit." I said, dropping my bag, and leaving it and it's contents, as I made to rush back out of the café to the pub.

"Wait!" Soph called. "Where are you going?"

"I left my purse in the pub." I said, spinning round a full circle to face her, then back to the door.

"I've got it here." She said.

I sighed in annoyance. Today was not going well. "Thanks." I said, going to get it out of her outstretched hand. I made my way to the counter to buy a Cornish pasty, and a glass of water. I decided that sobering up would be a good idea.

*****

**AN: I wrote this on the same day as the last one.**

**I was going to post it.**

**But somehow I didn't.**

**I've just been away for four days.**

**Which is still it's quite a quick update.**

**This one was easy, and quite fun really.**

**Ok.**

**Thankyous**

**Gryffindor-rox – **Haha! I'm on easter holidays.

**Hannah – **Sirius, of course. :-D Who else would it be?

**Tylan – **And for once I can say I DID get it up soon.

**Captain Oblivious – **I think chapter was better written anyway. I could be wrong. Hmmm… yeah, it's alright. Short. Again. I think I'll revamp the story afterwards, and merge groups of about five chapters into one, to make them a decent length. It's just I would update terrifically slowly if I did them a proper length each time.

**Mintytoothpick – **short chapter again. Oh well. As I said in the note to Captain Oblivious…

**Lilyclio – **Good to hear from you again.

**LilyGinnyBlack – **I know, it's quite good really. And I was planning on doing 16. Oh, the memories. I was also planning for the last chapter to be their death. Good thing I created an afterlife really. Though I'm sure there's one in the book as well…

**InsertRandomInsanityHere – **Oh dear. Speechless. When I'm speechless I tend to just say "Yeah."… "Yeah." … It's great fun.

**Elvencherry07 – **Indeed. The next aim – 100! No, I really don't want it to last for 100. I think it's been about a year since I started this… oh no, a year and a month. To the day.

**Ok then.**

**I'll see you round, mushters. I'll try and update again. Hmmmm…. In reference to future chapters remember the cheese they bought at the stall in the centre of town.**

**- Love Mai.**


	52. The Afterlife, and the Potters

Denial  
  
Chapter 52 – The Afterlife, and The Potters  
  
By our first Christmas in the afterlife we were all quite settled in, and had become great friends with Soph, and Celia from the doll shop. Despite being sisters they were very different, Celia small, delicate, and unwilling to stand out from the crowd, and Soph.... Let's just say she dyed her hair bright green for the holiday.  
  
Ruby had started at a school in September. Unlike in life, there were primary schools for magic children. The nearest was an hour's drive away, in Ye'Chelt (the afterlife's version of Cheltenham – a grand and admired town, south of Birmingham). It was private, and Ruby was a weekly boarder, but schools were much cheaper in the afterlife, so it was easily affordable. I got a temporary job doing some advertising for the doll shop, and even helping with how some of the dolls looked. Kira and Matt decided to become buskers. Kira had no musical talent, but that didn't stop her. She made a big investment buying a bass guitar, and learnt to play simple riffs, while Matt drowned her out with his own guitar and singing. Occasionally she even went to the length of backing dancing (this mostly consisted of jazz hands, and swaying, not suitable for the music genre at all, which, in true Matt style, was very depressing). They made about a hapenny a day.  
  
By Halloween, the next year, me and Ruby discovered the art of changing ages. Celia and Soph helped to teach us. It was quite simple really, once you got the hang of it. But we hadn't told Kira and Matt. We were hoping to surprise them. We decided it would be fun. We also decided that the best way to do this would be to trick or treat them, disguised with much scary make-up and costumes. We also decided that witch costumes depicting witches as hideous beings would be good.  
  
Therefore I spent the whole morning as a 12 year old child, with Ruby being 10 (it was exceedingly weird seeing her make such a transformation) and Soph and Celia as 9 year olds, fashioning some black and green material into long, ragged dresses, and cloaks, and hats with spiralling points. Being an artist by nature it was great fun. By six in the evening the costumes were finished. Then we started with green face paint, and fake noses, and warts. Before we left I picked up my cauldron to collect sweets in.  
  
We weren't just going to Kira's. First we went along my road, and then down a few streets. We got quite a lot of food, and were planning a good feast later. When we got to Kira's me and Ruby stood at the front, in the light. We were wondering if she would even recognise us.  
  
Matt answered, and when Kira saw it was trick-or-treaters she stood up, and left the front room. This was slightly annoying as she was our main target. I did notice she appeared to have dyed her hair black, and her skin blue in spirit of the occasion, however.  
  
Despite this discouragement we still cried in something near unison "Trick or Treat." Matt stroked his imaginary beard for a moment, staring at us. He apparently hadn't done anything for Halloween, but it didn't matter much because his everyday garb was Halloween enough.  
  
"Dear heart!" he called behind him.  
  
"Yes, pumpkin?" A muffled yell came from the kitchen. I was tempted to laugh at the names they were using for each other, which were obviously put on.  
  
"There's some more of those irritating parasites here. What should I do to these ones?" He called back.  
  
"We could eat them." She replied, popping her blue head round the door.  
  
"Well, I don't know." Matt said, still stroking the 'beard'. "Maybe that's a little harsh."  
  
"We could just force feed them worms." Kira suggested.  
  
Matt 'thought' for a moment. "I like it." He spun on his heel, and headed towards Kira. With his back turned I could see a small devil's tail sticking out of his black jeans, and swishing around. He disappeared behind the door for a moment, then suddenly both he and Kira appeared, running at us, with loads of wriggling jelly worms in their hands. They dumped them all in the cauldron with the words "Enjoy."  
  
Matt turned, and Kira started closing the door, but when it was half shut she suddenly stopped it, and pulled it open again. She knelt down in front of us, and started staring at me and Ruby's faces. I grinned. And then I heard Ruby crack up, and burst into giggles.  
  
Kira stared a little longer, then raised an eyebrow.  
  
"You've been doing well for yourselves." She said standing up.  
  
"Yes." I replied.  
  
"Would you like to come in?" She asked.  
  
"Yes." I repeated.  
  
"All right then... ok, who are these people?" She said, referring to Celia and Soph.  
  
"That's whatserface, and whatserface." I replied. "Celia and Soph."  
  
"Oh yeah. Come in." She said, inviting us to sit in her fabulous front room.  
  
Half an hour later we were all happily munching away on the days takings, and various other foodstuffs, which came along. We'd been invited to become the right age again, but we'd declined considering our lack of clothes that would fit. Instead we spent quite a while teaching Matt and Kira how to change. Matt rather enjoyed being an old man, because when he was he had a rather long grey beard, and moustache, which he became quite proud of, and began to plait there and then. Eventually we were all helping, and Kira found some rubber bands to tie the plaits up with. It was quite funny, although sometimes it got in the way of the food he wanted to put in his mouth.  
  
Once all of his hair was plaited, Kira went back into the kitchen to get us some drinks. About 20 seconds after she left she rushed back in with a sheet of paper I her hand.  
  
"Look at this!" She said urgently. I, and everyone looked.  
  
It was one of her pages. At the bottom there were two new names and addresses...  
  
James Ludovic Potter  
  
Area: 1900AD, location: GB, neighbourhood: NewBrum, address: Ivydene, The Vatch.  
  
Lily Juliana Potter

Area: 1900AD, location: GB, neighbourhood: NewBrum, address: Ivydene, The Vatch.

---------------------------------------

Platform 10 was expecting a coach from Germany any minute now. It was pretty packed. I could barely see to the edge. I pushed through the crowd to the front, pulling Ruby behind me. Kira and Matt were behind us, making less progress being larger in size.  
  
Just as we reach the platform edge (and were nearly pushed off, I might add) the coach rolled in. Luckily it stopped just a couple of metres from where we were standing. It was actually impossible to get through those last two metres to see the door, so I got Matt (who was no longer old, but had managed to keep the plaited beard) to lift me up onto his shoulders. Suddenly I was taller than everyone.  
  
I stared at the coach doors as the people disembarked, praying that Lily and James would appear. This was the fourth coach we'd tried, and it was beginning to get tedious.  
  
Then I saw a flash of red, and a shock of messy black hair.  
  
"They're there! They're there! Lily! James!" I called.  
  
James's head turned vaguely in our direction as we all started calling to them.  
  
"James, come here." I shrieked. He stared at me, but didn't recognise me. Then I realised I was just a 12 year old wearing witches make-up. "Arse." I said to myself. I pulled the cloak tightly around me, so it would cover anything embarrassing, and changed back to being 21. Crossing my eyes I saw the make-up had worn off with time, and my skin was the right colour again. "Lily and James!" I tried again, as Matt dropped me. I started attacking the people in front of me, finding it hard to stay decent in the witch's clothes, which were now very short, and very tight. I shoved a few people aside, and then ran to Lily, and threw my arms around her.  
  
"Lily." I said, hugging her, shortly followed by Kira. Ruby didn't bother changing as she ran to James.  
  
"Unkie James." She cried, in a suddenly babyish voice.  
  
"What the fuck is going on, and where the fuck is Harry?" Lily choked.  
  
"I don't know who Harry is, but you're dead." I assured her.  
  
"Harry is my son!" She cried, breaking free from us. None of us spoke for a moment. James hand rose up around Lily. She ignored him. Then Kira spoke.  
  
"Give us your pages." She said.  
  
"What?" Lily asked. Kira didn't reply. Instead she ripped the sheets of paper which where hanging from Lily's hand. "What?" Lily demanded again. Kira scanned the sheets quickly.  
  
"Harry isn't dead." She said, "He's ok."  
  
"What?" Both Lily and James said this time.  
  
"Harry isn't dead." Kira repeated.  
  
"He can't not be dead." Lily said, barely audibly above the chattering surrounding them, and because of the obvious lump in her throat. "Voldemort was there. In our house. He killed me, he killed James, he had to kill Harry. There's a prophesy..."  
  
She trailed off, clearly unwilling to explain.  
  
"He's not dead." Kira said again. "If his name isn't on these then he's not dead, therefore he is still alive. Trust me, he – is – not – dead."  
  
There was a disbelieving silence.  
  
"Come on, let's leave." I said. "We can explain as we go."  
  
It was two hours' bus journey up to NewBrum from the coach station. On the way we explained all about the afterlife, and Lily and James explained everything that had been happening in life. They told us that they'd had a son, Harry James Potter, and he was barely a year old, and they explained that there was a prophecy that said that either their son would defeat Voldemort, or Voldemort would defeat their son.  
  
I was a little suspicious of this. It's not the kind of thing that most people can say. I'd never been able to say that Ruby was part of a prophecy to save the world.  
  
And so, naturally, Voldemort had tried to kill Harry, because that was the only way he could be defeated. But apparently Harry was still alive. Which seemed incredible, seeing as Harry was far too young to have any power at all.  
  
It was all jolly confusing. Lily and James insisted that at all times should someone be looking at their pages in case Harry's name came up. It didn't come up. Not through the whole night, though they couldn't sleep, and we all stayed together in Kira and Matt's front room with a lot of biscuits and cups of coffee.  
  
Nor did it come up the next morning when I took Ruby home, and found the morning paper sitting on the doormat, with the headline SIRIUS BLACK - JAILED FOR MURDER

--------------------------------------------!  
  
AN:/ I know this took an incredibly long time and recounts the happenings of an entire year in less than 2000 words. I have grown bored of this, I'm afraid. I'll finish it, but I'm only doing key moments... which means there'll be about five more chapters. Which I realise is not very much (but you know what I'm like with guesses at chapters. There'll probably be another fifty or something stupid). (No, there won't. There'll be five).  
  
This story was supposed to end with Ruby being born and Chloe and Sirius getting back together.  
  
Anyway, so I hope you're still reviewing, and please review, otherwise I'll never get up off my arse and finish this.  
  
No, I can't be bothered to do the cheese storyline. Basically they put additives in it... ok it was going to be more than that... can't think what.  
  
So, have some thank yous.  
  
**zeldagrl436  
  
LilyGinnyBlack  
  
Captain Oblivious  
  
Acrobat216   
  
Angeline  
  
Nicky Black  
  
shayomac** – woops I should have remembered Regulus. Oh well. He went off to live in Japan. Don't ask why.  
  
**carosu  
  
InsertRandomInsanityHere  
  
Gryffindor-rox** – not long till Sirius appears now.  
  
**mintytoothpick  
  
elvencherry07   
  
nothing lasts forever  
  
kate   
  
Bosie Bloo  
  
Angel of the Elements  
**  
Wow. Many new reviewers. Happiness.  
  
Anyway. Woo, I updated.  
  
Much thankyouness and happiness and ness to you all. - Mai


	53. The Afterlife, and Blood

Denial  
  
Chapter 53 – The Afterlife, and Blood  
  
--------------------------  
  
_**SIRIUS BLACK – JAILED FOR MURDER!**  
  
Sirius Black, twenty-two, of Birmingham has been jailed for life for murdering thirteen people, twelve of them muggles.  
Late last night Sirius was seen outside the house of Aurors Lily and James Potter. His wand was in his hand and bodies lay scattered around him. According to a victim of this attack Sirius had been one of the first on the scene when a 'gas explosion' blew apart the house of Lily and James Potter, and their one-year-old son, Harry. In fact it had been Lord Voldemort and his followers who carried out this attack early yesterday evening, killing Lily and James Potter and destroying the house. By some miracle the Potter's son survived. No one can say how, or why. Black, and the wizard who died in his attack, Peter Pettigrew, were friends of the Potters, who were hiding from Voldemort. It is believed that Black was their secret keeper, and a spy for Voldemort. Before Black's attack Pettigrew yelled that Black had 'betrayed Lily and James'. This suggests that Black gave up the Potters' whereabouts to his master. After the attack, when the authorities were called in, he said nothing. All he did was laugh. He received no trial before being thrown into Azkaban.  
HOWEVER, in a bizarre twist to the story, there is no record of Peter Pettigrew's death. This can only mean one of two things; Although it is a rare occurrence, some people, when they die, stay in the tunnel for a very long time, despite the signs. This is due to disorientation.  
The other possibility is that Peter Pettigrew IS NOT DEAD.  
_  
Married to a mass murderer. Think of that.  
  
He was already an attempted murderer.  
  
It wasn't a great surprise.  
  
But he would never betray Lily and James. That was absurd. Peter must have lost his mind.  
  
Except Sirius was going to lose his mind now. In Azkaban.  
  
If he hadn't already lost it.  
  
After all, he did kill at least twelve people.  
  
It's surprising that someone so intelligent as he would do something so stupid. Very surprising.  
  
And really quite upsetting.  
  
-----------------------------

It didn't end there though. Oh no. The first of November had a lot of news, good and bad. And although the first was terrible there was some good in it at least.  
  
Harry was alive. Lily and James were happy – well, I say happy. I mean depressed beyond the level of Matt. But they were better than they had been when they'd got off the coach. Somewhat sane.  
  
And then – around three o'clock – a leaflet came through the door.  
  
It was one A3 side of a newspaper, issued by the government, delivered to every door.  
  
_**VOLDEMORT – DEFEATED!**_  
  
Apparently during the attack on the Potters Voldemort – who had gone to the house in order to defeat Harry, because of the prophesy thing – had disappeared and now all the wizarding world were celebration his downfall. Most unslyly, might I add. Wizards in robes lining the streets and so on.  
  
Harry Potter had deflected the spell – the killing curse that killed me, Kira, and Ruby! A one-year-old boy was not meant to be able to do that. He was left with only a scar – lightning bolt shaped.  
  
Seriously, I knew Lily and James were clever but their son was a genius. A child prodigy.  
  
And I'm quite jealous.  
  
But I'll get over myself.  
  
And there are more distressing matters to attend to – Sirius. But I could do nothing about it. Nothing. I was powerless to help him. The most I could do was ask Lily and James about the secret keeper business. So Ruby and I, as it was nearing 7 o'clock at night, made our way back to Kira's house.  
  
The day was grey, wet, windy, and cold. Quite unpleasant and unfriendly. As we reached their house I saw that all the lights were out. As I neared the door I saw it was bashed in and swinging open.  
  
I entered their house, cautiously. There was definite signs of a struggle. The coffee table was lying on its side with a leg broken, off and their were drinks spilled over the carpet. A record that had been playing was stuck, with no one to stop it. Two loud power chords were playing over and over again. The lamp had been knocked off the table, and the bulb was smashed.  
  
In the kitchen it was very dark. When I switched the light on I saw there was a knife on the table, smeared with red, and on the wall was the Dark Mark of Voldemort. Drawn with blood.  
  
Ruby immediately began to wail. I picked her up and ran out of the house, before sprinting back to our own. My hands were shaking so much it took me more than a minute to unlock the door. I rushed through to the kitchen and grabbed my pages, and jogged back to the living room where I magicked a fire into the grate, making it far to big so it began to lick at the mantle piece.  
  
"Shit" I sobbed, and shot water out of my wand to put it out before taking a deep and calming breath, and creating another, smaller fire. I threw some floo powder in, grabbed, picked up Ruby again, and flooed to the house of my grandparents.  
  
As I fell out of the fire, black and chocking I saw that the woman who I assumed was my grandma (it was difficult to tell, because she was now it her 20s again) was sitting on a flower-patterned sofa, drinking a cup of tea, and eating a piece of shortbread.  
  
"Oh!" She exclaimed, seeing me, "Hello dear. Is that Chloe?" She smiled. I sobbed.  
  
"Yes. Look. Two of my best friends were murdered last night, and my husband has been locked in Azkaban for betraying them to the Dark Lord, Voldemort. And now they've disappeared – been taken by someone, kidnapped, I don't know – but there's blood on the wall in the shape of the Dark Mark, and I don't know what to do, and I don't know what to do with Ruby." I gushed, as tears began to pour down my face.  
  
My Grandma sat there, with her mouth and eyes wide. She seemed not to know what to say. I didn't know if she even understood what I was on about considering I didn't know if she was a witch or not (she was on my dad's side) and I didn't know if she knew much of what was going on in life. After a moment she said, "The police dear, the police. Use our fire." She stood, took Ruby off me, and set her down on the sofa, took some floo power from a box on the windowsill, and threw it into the fire. "Jeremy!" She called, towards the door.  
  
"Yes?" My Granddad ambled into the room, his hands in his pockets.  
  
"Look after, um..." Grandma indicated the sofa.  
  
"Ruby." I supplied.  
  
"Ruby, will you, Jeremy? We have to go to the police."  
  
"Why?" He asked, sitting next to my daughter.  
  
"It's just urgent." I said, pulling Grandma into the fire, and yelling "NewBrum police!"  
  
--------------------------  
  
AN: I couldn't resist. When I said there would only be five more chapters you all should have known I was lying. Five indeed. When has there ever been only five chapters left? Puh.  
  
And seeing as this is going to be my last fan fiction, as I have grown out of such things, (mostly) I might as well make the most of it, so there's going to be another major event later, and probably three epilogues. (I always do excessive epilogues. It's a tragic side-effect of being me).  
  
I'm still bored of this. But my interest has grown since this chapter. And it's the holidays, as I may have said, so I'm bound to update at least three more times.  
  
AND – oh my God, I could not believe this! Read this:  
  
**Mistake** by **eternity's star  
**  
He got her pregnant when she was 15 what will they do now? how will Chloe and Sirius cope? are they ready to be parents? I think not! read how the cope with the shocking news that will change their lives forever.  
  
(actually the description has changed since then, and doesn't include the name Chloe, but the story still has Chloe in it).  
  
Here's the address: www. fanfiction . net /s/ 1960774 /1/ without the spaces. It can also be found on my bio.  
  
Now, where do you recognise that plot from? WHERE? **WHERE** I ASK YOU?  
  
Rage.  
  
Deep passionate rage.  
  
Anyway... Moving along... so I don't get as stressed as I did when I first read that story. Thank yous:  
  
**Captain Oblivious** – well, you may be getting a laptop. But I've got ANTI- VIRUS PROTECTION! (Seriously, someone should really have thought of getting it before. Well, I did. But I'm not the computer-buying-stuffs-for-person around here. Eventually I got it by downloading it from the Internet. Oh the irony... kind of) Anyway. I do return. And I update. I actually update! And there is another cliffhanger. Enjoy it.  
  
**InsertRandomInsanityHere** – If you're still checking back everyday – have another lucky day! And my quitting has stopped. Well done. Magic has been... magicked.  
  
**LilyGinnyBlack** – Did you ever see button moon? With Mr spoon? That was a good programme. And I hope this chapter has had an even more torturous ending. And there will be more than five chapters, so you don't have to not care that there will only be five more now. But this story will still end! At some point. Probably when my brain has been completely mangled by an alien, and it can't think up anything new without me asking it to.  
  
**The all mighty and powerfulM** – I thought the e-mail was probably necessary after four months. I realise I can never finish this. I don't think its possible. Even when I get to the time where it's supposed to end it'll probably keep on going. Like last time.  
  
**shayomac** – And it will continue to be! Naturally its one of the last good stories. I'm fabulous :P. I have reconsidered. Perhaps I'll aim to beat The Story of James Potter (by Koonelli in case anyone wants to read it) which has been going for about five months more than mine, and is about to end on around 80 chapters. Wait. Then I'd have to write another 30 chapters. Well, currently I'm thinking I can't be bothered, but I thought I'd never get past 37 chapters. In fact I never thought I'd get past 17. It could happen. And Japan is fabulous... but considering this new development maybe Regulus was just on holiday, and has returned to do this dastardly deed. Or something. We shall see.  
  
**LadyLupinLover** – And look at that. I have actually updated soon. Especially compared to the four months of the last update.  
  
**Nicky Black** – But death is – at least in some ways – a good thing. And considering we'll all go there when we die we can all see Sirius! Hooray! And I am un-rushing the ending now, so be happy. Happy! :D. I must say, I am quite pleased with the popularity of this. I hope the person who stole off me's story withers and dies. I mean.... I hope they live a long and prosperous life... }:(  
  
**Angel of the Elements** – I think my writing might be improving again. Although I haven't read the chapter through yet. I could be hugely mistaken. Hmmm... it's a bit too fast paced. Oh well. I'll try to update AGAIN soon. I have three days of doing nothing to kill.  
  
**Padfootz-luvr** – ah! What's Chloe going to do now with this more immediate and pressing and in many ways more distressing matter? Time will tell. Hopefully not too much time. And now the situation worsens for Lily and James. Think back to the tale of Ruby's dolls And Daddy the Comb, and James the Lampshade... There is a chance it may be relevant. Though I haven't decided yet.  
  
**zeldagrl436** – thusly have I revealed what she thought. Although she can find out the truth – once she finds Lily and James. MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!  
  
**potatoheaven** – well, Georgie the super-snail will defeat your army of potatoes... hopefully. Actually they can just be at peace considering I updated.  
  
**madderthanyou** – Well, I only updated recently so... and now again. I'm so proud of me. Aren't you proud of me? I am. As long as you read this before Thursday I may update again. If you don't then I may have anyway. Oh the joys.  
  
**figgiesblazin** – As I may have said, I am less bored now, so it should be continuing for some time, and I should update again. I bet now I've said that so many times I won't.  
  
**Sweetgirl** – I think you'll find its very interesting and has just got more so. :P  
  
**elvencherry07** – and now I have invented some key moments. So it will last longer. As I said. But it will end some time. As I also said. It will. But not in five chapters. As I also also said. You'll live. :P  
  
Well, I think they were rather fabulous thank yous. I'll probably never write any as long as some of those ever again. So I imagine you must be extremely upset if you didn't review last chapter. And if you want a full picture of what's going on I suggest you read all of them. Although I repeat myself about fifty times.  
  
That's something I can have pleasureness with. The person with the story with a plot suspiciously like mine only has one review. Madderthanyou, I am ashamed. Especially as it was through you that I found the story in the first place. But luckily for you I generally get over things.  
  
I wouldn't mind if it had the same basic plot – someone at Hogwarts gets pregnant. Even someone in the marauder era gets pregnant. But it is SO SIMILAR! You may have to remind yourself of earlier chapters in Denial to see this. Those from around 1 – 15, which I know is a lot, and I realise you most likely won't be bothered, but! But! I wouldn't mind if it was someone called Chloe who was friends with Lily! I wouldn't mind if it was Sirius having a child, BUT!  
  
Rage.  
  
I'll go now.  
  
_- Mai._

**CORRECTION! – Sorry, I just went back and checked. It has TWO reviews but one is from Liaetha (who I don't think I have ever heard of before, have you ever reviewed?) who I THANK GREATLY as she pointed out the similarity! (You made me jump around a lot in happiness, and then praise the God that I don't believe in. I realise I shouldn't be getting so worked up about this – but – but – yes. But. As I said before.)**


	54. The Afterlife, and the death of the Comp...

Denial

Chapter 54 - The afterlife, and the demise of the Computer

---

Suddenly the computer died.

---

**AN:** Yes. So. Basically my computer (which is not the one I am currently on) got a virus, and it all went wrong, and I've lost everything on it. Might be able to be recovered, but that seems unlikely. It took a lot of effort to write the first half of the next chapter so I'm not going to try again until I know whether I can just get it back or not. Although I may write some other chapters in advance.

And I've changed my mind again. Five chapters.

Who knows...

Someone give me some help. What do you think should happen next? What do you think has happened to Lily and James and Kira and Matt? Tell me your feelings on any issues... anything at all... because I really need some help and encouragement to finish this.

Come on. You know you want to. Thanks to everyone who reviewed last chapter. I'll thank you properly when I get the next chapter up. Which I will do. Eventually.

- Love Maigon Jesolite.


	55. The Afterlife, and Fire

Denial

Chapter 55 - The Afterlife, and Fire

* * *

_SUPPORT FOR VOLDEMORT!_

_Voldemort may have been defeated but even in the afterlife he still has supporters._

_Lily and James Potter, who were victims of an attack by Voldemort only two days ago, have now been kidnapped. There was found to be evidence of a struggle at the home of their friends Kira Harvey and Matthew Sherman. All these persons are now missing. The dark mark featuring a skull with a snake protruding from its mouth was daubed on the wall in blood. DNA tests have shown this to be the blood of James Potter. Although he will have recovered from his wounds by now this ordeal must be very distressing for the victims. Anyone with information as to their whereabouts, or witness accounts should contact their local police station._

Death was all buggered up. I felt like a pile of shit. Sirius was a murderer, locked in Azkaban, and worst of all - not with me! Not dead! I knew it was selfish. I knew it was horrible. But I was sure it would be better for Sirius if he was dead, and I knew it would be better for me, for Ruby. I needed to see him again, to let him know it was all ok, it didn't matter he was a murderer, hated by the world, I still loved him. I loved Lily and James as well - but... there was no way Sirius would betray them. Unless he had completely changed since I died.

If he had completely changed then would he even be Sirius any more? Could I still love him?

I needed him for me. I needed his assurances. I was alone with Ruby now - everyone was looking for Lily, James, Matt and Kira - their names and faces were all over the news. Soph and Celia worked most of the time. Although they did put posters up in their windows asking for help.

Mostly I just stayed at home with Ruby who decided to change to be my age (again - scary. It made me cry. More than I already was) and we curled up together on the sofa, bought a TV, and watched rubbish cartoons together, while stuffing our faces and crying and failing to be distracted.

On the fifth of November we didn't join in the Guy Fawkes celebrations. It was horrible to think about it - how he'd helped trying to blow people up, how he'd been imprisoned, tortured, and killed. It was far too close to home. Soph was round, trying to cheer us up.

"Peter isn't dead. Therefore Sirius didn't kill him. Therefore the story isn't right - they're already working out the elaborate ways in which it could work." Soph explained, "They think Sirius might be innocent."

"He has to be innocent." I murmured dispassionately. "He wouldn't kill James."

"Unkie James." Ruby sighed into my shoulder.

"And think about it - you were killed by Voldemort, Sirius was training to be an auror. Somehow that doesn't give the impression that he was a big Voldemort supporter." I shook my head slightly. My thoughts were in turmoil. On the one hand I could see him doing it - much as it seems horrific I could imagine Sirius going to the extreme of murder if he had to. And he had laughed. When he was caught he had laughed. Why?

But he wouldn't. He couldn't have betrayed Lily and James. He couldn't have sided with Voldemort.

I ate some chocolate.

Suddenly there was a knock on the door. Soph heaved herself to open it. A policeman stood on the doorstep. "Is this the residence of Chloe and Ruby Black?" he asked.

I made an incoherent noise from my position on the sofa, and Ruby sat up. Soph indicated us, and the policeman stepped up into the living room. "The whereabouts of your friends Lily and James Potter has been found, although we cannot be certain that Matthew Sherman and Kira Harvey are with them. We received this." He held up a small stone in one hand. I stared at him for a moment, with no idea as to why a stone would be helpful. Before I could ask he explained "It displays a hologram. This hologram shows us images of the Potters, and the field they are in has been recognisable due to the church in the background."

I remained silent for a moment, thinking. Then Ruby asked "Why are they in a field?"

The policeman gulped. "This may be a little distressing for you."

"Brilliant." I muttered, and sighed, "Go on then."

"Lily and James Potter were being tortured." The policeman said, bowing his head.

There was a long silence. Soph stood at the edge of the room looking shocked and not knowing what to do. "Fuck." I said. "Fuck it all." Ruby hugged me, and I hugged her back. She felt like she was six again. "Why?"

"We assume," the policeman began to explain quietly, "that it is because their son defeated Voldemort. It's deatheaters."

"How?" My voice had become a croak.

The policeman paused, "Burning. They were tied to a steak and burnt. Like Guy Fawkes."

suddenly felt an overwhelming urge to be sick. My trousers, the carpet and Ruby's arm suffered. I resolved not to eat any more chocolate. Soph disappeared for a moment, then came back into the room with a damp tea towel, which she used to wipe us down. I went to get myself a drink of water, and took Ruby upstairs to find us some more of my clothes to wear. The policeman was still downstairs talking to Soph when we'd finished. As we sat he continued to speak. "Help is already on its way to them - could already have reached them. They should be safe soon enough. We can watch their rescue using this if you want," he held up the stone, "but it may be a little distressing." I shook my head firmly, and could see Ruby doing the same. "Very well. You will be informed as to further developments when they occur."

And with that he apparated from the room.

* * *

**AN:** The matter of the fanfic Mistake has been cleared up and sorted et cetera. I've apologised, she's apologised, all is well.

Oh, and by the way - how many people want Harry and Ruby to get together, and how many people think it would be too cliche (or do you think its too cliche and want it to happen anyway?) ...when Harry eventually dies...

Yeah, so, right now I'm heading towards 60 chapters. Kind of depends on whether you want Harry and Ruby together or not though. I just do it as a sequel. Then you could choose whether you wanted them to or not. If I can be bothered to do a sequel. If I'm not overloaded with coursework. Oh how I hate it. (Coursework).

In fact I have history coursework in soon which I'm meant to be doing right now... then biology... music... drama... balls... (yes, balls is a subject :P)

So. Anyway. Thankyous.

**LilyGinnyBlack** - Oh the dilemmas of life - to do five chapters, or to not do five chapters... and therefore do more. Thank you again. If you want other good fics by the way, I'd suggest the ones on my favourites - or most of them at least. Oo...

**_EVERYONE_** - I have to plug Crossroads again. Go to , go on novel length fanfiction, and find Crossroads by Emmyjean, then read it. It updated on my birthday. I was so happy. Not that I looked at it on my birthday, I looked at it two days later, but still. Back to the thankyous...

**Captain Oblivious** - Hehehe. I hope its even worse now. I decided this story needed some propper angst. And plain sick horror. Nehehehehehehe.

**zeldagrl436** - blood is always fun.

**Child of the Wolves** - Thing is I know Harry Potter best out of most stuffs, it's also the book with the most fanfiction and the most readers, seems to be one of the books with the most possibilties, and I don't really feel the urge to write about anything else. I write origional stuff though. You can find my stuffs on Fictionpress (Maigon Jseolite again) Elfwood (Helen Harvey) and DeviantArt (Ellierany). So yeah. Ness. Meh. Hope I explained a couple of things.

**madderthanyou** - Good point! I could put the sequel of Ruby and Harry getting together up for adoption. And yes they are already dead. It's just deatheaters making the point that they're still around, and they can still hurt people they don't like.

**_EVERYONE (again)_** - If you want a sequel in which Ruby and Harry get together I'll probably put it up for adoption... anyone interested?

**Nicky Black** - Thank you. Me and eternity's star (who wrote mistake) had long discussions about it. I believe she has taken it down... she has :D. Hope some of your questions were answered in this. Thanks for being the only one to make a suggestion. I'll consider...

**eternity's star** - I'm sorry about yours as well... but still... I'm amazed you don't have a grudge against me enough to still read this... if that made sense... incoherency is a curse in a writer.

**maggie black** - Well, I updated again... then again who knows when it will next happen... you know the first fanfic I ever wrote I started in the summer holidays and finished in the same summer holidays. this has been going for a year and a half. Meh.

**Liaetha** - Thanks a lot. Always nice to find new reveiwery people. No. Readers. Meh. Brain... failing... Anyway. Look at me! I updated.

**The all mighty and powerfulM** - Hmmm... do you think there might be some sort of curse on the story that makes me write more everytime I think I'm always finished?

**InsertRandomInsanityHere** - And another lucky day for you... :P.

**elvencherry07** - yeah... keeping in canon... bah, who needs that. I did mostly anyway. :P

**potatoheaven** - Can I have a chip AND a cookie? Thanks.

**oOoLituoOo** - Yey, I made someone cry! I mean... eh... crying... bad. I'll find the evensecnensese song. (you ask me to be able to spell - since the computer broke we no longer have word. Therefore we no longer have spellcheck. It's appalling. How do you spell appalling?) anyway - hooray for a new reader!

**mARAUderRETTE14** - I'm going to skip ahead a few years once everyone's been found and all is jolly once more. Then Sirius can finally die and everyone will be happy!

**Bobfredda** - Thanks a lot.

So yes, still, any suggestions, ideas etc still very much welcome.

Love _Maigon Jesolite_.


	56. The Afterlife, and Innocence

Denial

Chapter 56 - The Afterlife, and Innocence

* * *

It didn't take long for the police to rescue Lily and James and catch those who were torturing them and put them away. They were questioned but they wouldn't say anything about anyone they were working with, or where Kira and Matt were - even though the police were pretty sure that Kira and Matt had nothing to do with anything. Lily was a wreck when she came home, and James wasn't much better. The burns, bruises and cuts had healed, but her state of mind was seriously messed up.

Me and Ruby went to see them as soon as they were back. They'd been given potions to try and make them happier, and more able to get on with their deaths, but it wasn't that simple. And Kira and Matt were still missing. I mean - how would you feel if you'd just been betrayed by one of your best friends, murdered, lost your son, then kidnapped and tortured?

I can't even imagine it.

It was horrific seeing Lily like that. Her hair was a disarray of fire, her skin was white as paper, and her eyes were ringed in black. But what was worse was the green, the beautiful green in her eyes looked dead, hollow, almost as if it wasn't there. He cheeks were constantly dripping with tears and they were sore and red from constant tissue wiping. I quickly realised they didn't have any proper clothes and sent Ruby out to buy something as well as general stuff like food and toothbrushes.

James and I sat on the sofa either side of Lily, with our arms around her, trying to comfort her as much as possible. She kept shaking her head and asking to see Harry. Every time she asked I thought about Sirius, still confused as to whether he betrayed them or not, and I wanted to ask, but I couldn't distress Lily any more. I felt guilty about asking James as well, but... I had to.

When Ruby returned James took Lily upstairs, to get them both changed, and washed their faces. While they were gone I spoke to Ruby.

"I'm going to ask James about Sirius. Ask him if he really betrayed them." I told her. She nodded slightly. "Can you look after Lily for a minute while I do it?"

"Sure." She said. She was still at the age of 21. It was easier that way. She looked very elegant with hair almost as black as her fathers, and wide brown eyes.

"OK." I replied as Lily and James came down the stairs and into their living room. There house was not dissimilar to the house I'd imagined for the story of Lily Doll. Apart from the extra floors with random mazes and games of Chinese checkers. I picked up the bag of food Ruby had got. "James could you help me with something in the kitchen for a moment?" He nodded mutely, and followed me through.

"Should I make anything to eat?" I asked as I began to unpack the food.

James shrugged, "Perhaps just some coffee. Did Ruby get any?" I looked through to the bag.

"Only tea." I said, pulling out the teabags. James shrugged again.

"That'll do."

I searched around the cupboards for moment, but most of them were empty. "No kettle." I admitted eventually. "Oh well, I'll boil the water in a saucepan. How does Lily like it?"

"Milk, no sugar." James muttered. There was an awkward pause. "Look, I'd better go back to Lily."

"Wait a second." I stopped him. "Um... did Sirius... did he really betray you to Voldemort?"

"What?" James froze, looking shocked. "Is that what you thought?"

"That's what everyone thinks. He was your secret keeper wasn't he?" I murmured, bowing my head.

"No!"

"He wasn't?" I was filling with hope. Sirius wasn't a murderer... he hadn't betrayed his friends...

"Peter was. We thought Sirius would be too obvious." James explained. "It was stupid choice. He betrayed us to Voldemort - bastard."

"Did Sirius know?"

"Yeah."

"So..." I'd just become more confused "...what about when Peter said Sirius had betrayed you?"

"Peter said that?"

"Yes."

"He was lying." James spat. "He's worthless piece of scum. He's pathetic!" I'd thought that. I'd thought Peter was pathetic. But I'd also thought Sirius was a bastard, and James was an idiot. "How do you know he said that? Is he dead?"

"It was in the news. Peter's meant to be dead, Sirius supposedly killed him. But they still have no record of his death after a week. Which means he probably isn't. Which doesn't make sense. I'm so confused." I sighed, sinking to the tiled floor.

"Sirius is meant to have killed Peter?" James asked. He sank to the floor next to me, obviously just as confused.

"Ok," I began, "This is what I know. Sirius was meant to be you secret keeper - except he wasn't, Peter was - and Peter betrayed you. Just after Voldemort attacked somehow he and Sirius met. Sirius pointed his wand at Peter intending to kill him - understandable after what Peter did - Peter yelled that he had betrayed Lily and James, and then Sirius blasted Peter away along with twelve Muggles who got in the way."

There was silence for a moment.

"I don't think Sirius would have done that." James said slowly. "Peter - yes. I can't deny I can see him killing Peter. But not twelve innocent Muggles."

"Has...has Sirius changed at all?"

"Other than becoming more angry, more determined, and more reckless - no. And that's just because he lost you and felt that he had very little else to lose."

"Oh." Good. "But the weird thing is the twelve Muggles all came up together, and were reported as dead, but Peter hasn't been. They even sent people into the tunnel he should have come from, and there was no trace of him. So they think he's still alive."

"Sirius wouldn't kill twelve innocent Muggles." James repeated, "Of course he wouldn't, because that would be aiding Voldemort's cause. It's not just about good and bad for him now." James told me, "Now it's personal. Now it's about you."

Oh.

"And Ruby."

Obviously.

"So what the hell happened?"

"Well, I suppose... if Sirius was really mad, then he _might_ have managed to overdo it and kill twelve Muggles in his attempt to kill Peter, but before the spell hit him Peter might have - um... did you know about us being Animagi?"

"I was _married_ to Sirius."

"Ok. Well Peter was a rat so perhaps he transformed and escaped."

I mused over it for a moment, "Possible, but then again he'd have to have pretty sharp reflexes, and he'd probably have been blown up even if he was really small."

"What if Peter did it?"

"Did what?"

"Blew up the Muggles."

"How would he just disappear?"

"By turning into a rat."

Before I could reply the water boiled over. "Lets go to the police later, and tell them what we think." I said, turning the gas off and pouring out tea into two mugs and two glasses (desperate times...)

Just as we were sitting down to drink our tea a fire sprang up in the fireplace, and a policeman stepped out. Lily gasped and started shaking, while James almost spilled his tea.

"We just received a ransom note by owl. The death eaters have Miss Harvey, and Mr Sherman but they haven't told us where."

"What's the ransom?" I choked.

The policeman pointed to the bottom of the note where there was written one name:

_James Potter_

* * *

**AN: **Thanks to Penelope Richmond my new beta, check her stuff out ;-).

Right. I'm still looking for ideas to help me get this story done, so absolutely anything you think about it is welcome, including 'get on with it and kill Sirius.'

On the matter of Harry and Ruby and Ginny and Death and Sequels and so on....

Got an offer from Writer Chica to adopt. Anyone else? (not that I want to deprive you Writer Chica, I'm just making sure its fair). And were you interested in adopting it Penelope or just interested in it being adopted? Perhaps I should have asked you when I e-mailed you... oh well.

The thing is I think it would be really interesting to see my story continued by someone else, which is why I want it adopted. And I was thinking - maybe not Harry and Ruby, but maybe just Harry's death, or if Harry and Ruby -do- get together and then Ginny dies and there are problems. Could be fun. Would be interesting. Well let me know what you think and any ideas you have on that as well. Including 'don't do it.' Even though I do want to do it. Whatever.

Yes, I'll do thank yous now:

**zeldagrl436** - no they can't die again. Basically Voldemorts dead supporters wanted to show that they were still fighting for Voldemorts cause, and that they could still hurt people, even if the wounds would heal because of the magic in the afterlife. And they wanted to punish someone for their master's downfall.

**Penelope Richmond** - Hello again. Dunno if you'll read this seeing as you've already read the chapter, but... anyway. Thank you for the general praise and the beta-ing, and I left it as 'me and Ruby' because she's been saying that for most of the story so I decided not to change it. Thanks again.

**Writer Chica** - You are welcome to adopt it. I'll look at any stuff you've got up.

**oOoLintuoOo** - They can't die again. They can be hurt, but ... I think I explained in this chapter. I've actually updated relatively soon. I'm quite proud of me.

**Nicky Black** - James could tell her that Sirius was innocent, and that's what Chloe was going to go and ask when she found out they'd been kidnapped. Another good suggestion. I'll try to think about it (the distractions of life, etc.).

**LilyClio** - Sirius will die soon enough. I'm mostly Harry/Ginny as well and... well I don't know. Probably no-one does. My characterization isn't that good in this. But oh well.

**eternity's star** - Thanks. I'm not sure much _is_ going to happen now, but we'll see. I always say things then change my mind. That's how I got to 56 chapters. I think the whole Harry/Ruby/Ginny love triangle might be interesting.

Anyway, I'll _try_ updating again soon.

- Love Mai.


	57. The Afterlife, and News of Sirius

Denial

Chapter 57 – The Afterlife, and News of Sirius

* * *

Matt and Kira were in hospital for six weeks afterwards, and they looked like death the whole time. They were practically skeletons by the time the police got them out, and slowly, slowly, there bodies rebuilt themselves. Sometimes – often – I think it would be better if they'd been mortal, if they'd been able to die in the flames, instead of having to withstand the torture. Kira doesn't talk any more. Matt gets so distressed when he's sleeping that he has to be tied down. They won't even look at each other, and they can't make themselves go within a mile Lily and James. 

I don't think they blame them. At least, I don't think they think they blame them. But being near them makes it seem like they're in danger all over again.

I don't know how they tricked the ransom. I was told something about a rope, and pulling them towards James, and James away from them, like some game with a cat. I don't know. I couldn't make out what their plan was, and I still haven't. I don't want to think about it.

I just feel guilty. Because it was just me – me and Ruby – who escaped the torture.

* * *

The years went. Even without Sirius the years somehow managed to pass. Me and Ruby go around as one age for a while, and then one of us gets bored and changes, and then the other has to change as well, or the routine all falls apart. 

I revisited primary school once. It was crazy, one the fathers Ruby (who was around 30 at the time) talked to turned out to be a boy I'd been to primary school with. He'd gone hunting with his uncle and two cousins when he was twelve and the uncle accidentally shot him. And here he was again. I'd never particularly liked him, but the experience really woke me up me. Death is full of shocking experiences.

And then we – Me and Ruby – started hearing news. News about Harry Potter, who was eleven and had started at Hogwarts. How he defeated Voldemort, again and again and again. We often got the full story where the land of the living didn't. Quirrell is still locked up. He refused to say anything for two years, but they got it out of him eventually. They made a fuss about Cedric Diggory as well.

Oh, and the best bit…

1993. Summer. Me and Ruby scoffing pasta on the sofa, and suddenly the news flashes up on our little TV: Sirius Black has escaped Azkaban.

We watched all the news we could after that. We always checked the newspaper, always had the radio on, and we got every bit of news of him we could; sightings up in Scotland. Nearly caught in '94, but he got away again, and then not a lot for two years, except that he was still at large.

13th June '95 Ruby comes hobbling in from the kitchen (she's playing at being 80) croaking "MUM! MUM! It's on the news! DAD'S DEAD!"

And we sit on the sofa, excited, waiting. I'm just getting us some coffee in the kitchen, when there's a knock on the door.

* * *

Hi again. I just thought I'd finish off, you know. One more chapter. Sorry I didn't put more effort into this one. 

To all my readers and reviewers; thanks for a) sticking with me all these years, b) bothering to read all 85 000 words of it.

For anyone who read all of this chapter mystified as to what I was going on about:

I was pretty mystified too, actually. Something weird happened in the last chapter where Lily, James, Kira and Matt got kidnapped, they rescued L+J, but not K+M, and sent a ransom note asking for James. I have no idea how I was planning to get myself out of it at the time, so I cheated. Sorry. Suffice to say, I was using this chapter to get us to the final one, which is the interesting happily-ever-after bit, and you get back onto where this fanfic has anything to do with HP.

Flamers: If you want to, go ahead, most flames are funny.

I love you all,

Mai


	58. The End

Denial

The End

Sirius was having a bad day.

Firstly, Kreacher had been in an especially nasty mood that morning, and being shut in the house was hell. Sirius had known something was going to happen, and he'd been restless, pacing about, running upstairs, running back down, almost tripping over his own feet, his wand in his hand and a growl between his teeth. Wherever he went he could hear Kreacher behind him, muttering, _and that traitor, making all this noise, running up and down like he has a right to be here. Oh, the things Kreacher's hands would do if they had a real master. They'd be perfect. Kreacher would fit them round his neck…_

He'd had to put up with it for hours. Hours. Until finally he heard a noise out in the street, the door pummelled until he thought it would cave in. He ran downstairs, almost tripped _again_, and let in Remus, Tonks, Moody, Kingsley, and after a two second explanation, "Harry and Voldemort, department of mysteries, NOW!" they all left, _pop pop pop pop pop_.

And then they'd been frantic, running through corridors, rooms, searching, scrabbling, losing each other, until eventually they found them. The death eaters. The students. Harry. Harry. All Sirius had left in the world, only half-trained, and trying to take on death eaters. Sirius didn't let himself look at the injuries. He just fought.

The battle with Bellatrix was almost the best bit. The least-worst bit, as it were. He was so angry he didn't have time to feel, to worry about Harry, to worry about himself. When Bella hit him with the spell he was thrown back, felt something smack against his head, felt the pain, but a moment later he was on his feet, wand out, looking for her, ready to fight.

He thought the grey mist around him was just some sort of spell.

He peered through it. All he saw was more grey mist.

He yelled out.

BELLA

BELLA YOU BITCH

COWARD, GET BACK HERE

FIGHT ME

And when that didn't work,

_HARRY!_

Still. No reply.

The air itself seemed dead.

He stood. He panted. He paced, but the air in front of him seemed somehow thick, and it got thicker and thicker, until he was wading, crawling, fighting it, and not getting anywhere. He stepped back.

He turned around. His eyes were getting used to the perpetual grey, and he almost thought he could make out that some parts of the mist were deeper than other parts.

That was when he noticed the tunnel.

It seemed to be a tunnel. It was a slightly darker patch of mist, and seemed slightly further away than the rest.

He stepped towards it. Unlike before the mist wasn't getting thicker. In fact, it was getting thinner, easier and easier to move through, until he was gliding over it like a man on the moon. It went on, and on, easier and easier, and he was enjoying himself so much that thoughts of Harry, Bellatrix, Voldemort drifted away, and he was just Sirius, in this slightly oppressive grey mist, gliding, flying.

He had no idea how long he'd been going for before it became tedious. All he knew was that the boredom crept up on him about the same time that the mist got thicker again, and then more solid. The tunnel was still there, but around it there wasn't mist, but cold stone.

He walked. He saw a light, yellow, unpleasant, and went towards it. Harry's face had come back to him, and it was sitting there, staring grimly at him from behind his eyes.

Then he walked out into a gigantic foyer.

It was empty. Empty but for about twenty people around two long desks, one marked 'Witches and Wizards', the other 'Muggles'. They seemed to be draped over their desk, or chair. One was even crouching down, her head resting on the seat. Sirius crept towards the Wizard's side.

They were all asleep. That was why. And breathing gently. Sirius was, by this time, utterly bewildered.

He went up to one man, who was lying flat over the desk, is arms stretched out in front of him, his face down. 'Hello?' Sirius said. Nothing happened. 'Hello?' a little louder. Again, no reaction. He reached out and shook the man's arm.

The man started up, grunting. He blinked, rubbed his eyes, stared round.

'The Veil malfunctioned. I don't understand,' he said.

'What's going on?' Sirius said. 'If you don't understand, I definitely don't.'

The man looked up at him. Frowned. Then comprehension dawned on his face.

'Black,' he whispered, 'Sirius Black.'

Sirius nodded. It was at this point that he jerked out of the dream he'd been in since the mist had taken hold. He realised he should have run for it. He realised he was going to be caught, thrown back in Azkaban, killed even.

He jerked his head up, stared wildly around, then turned to run.

'No!' the man said, grabbing his wrist. Sirius tried to pull free, but couldn't. 'You need your pages.'

'_What?_' he stormed, turning round.

The man whimpered and let go.

'Did they sentence you to death Mr Black?' he said.

'They haven't caught me yet!' Sirius yelled.

'No, no, you're dead. Mr Black, you're dead.'

Sirius was so frustrated, desperate, by then that he didn't know what to do. He roared. The man cowered.

'Sirius Black,' he said, 'you're innocent here. Mr Black. You're in the afterlife.'

The man was typing hurriedly as he spoke, and as Sirius was about to turn and run again, the man thrust a pile of paper towards him.

* * *

Soon afterwards – ten minutes maybe, half an hour, Sirius couldn't be sure – he was striding down a corridor, the man at his side, three sides of A4 in his hands, listing his life, and at the top, his new address:

Area 1900AD, location: GB, neighbourhood: NewBrum, address: 12 Pie-Cat Crescent, Crowdley

Then the man had pushed him into a gigantic lift, and Sirius had leant his arms against the wall, trying to stop them shaking, trying to understand as the man explained again and again, 'You're in the afterlife, you went through the Veil and died, it's ok now, everyone else is here, your friends, your wife.' Sirius kept reading over the address, trying to guess if 'NewBrum' might be some twisted afterlife version of Birmingham, and if Birmingham meant Ruby, meant Chloe.

The lift down took an age. Or, indeed, many ages; eventually Sirius turned from his papers, and noticed them pass down through the levels, through Area 800AD, 900AD, 1000AD, and so on, slowly, slowly until eventually it hit the bottom. Area 1900AD. Home.

'This is Germany,' the man with him said.

'What?' Sirius replied, stepping out into the bustling crowds.

'Yeah, I never understood why they put it here. Especially when the World Wars happened.'

Sirius hadn't particularly grasped where the man was coming from in that statement, so he decided to ignore it. In the distance he saw a sign point towards 'GB' and the man pulled him by the arm towards it.

They went down an escalator, and came to a dim underground station. Waiting by the platform was a coach. The man pushed Sirius onto it, as the driver called down 'This is the first one I've had in over an hour, and no news. What's going on?'

'Blockage up at the tunnels,' the man replied, and then, Sirius thought he heard whispered, 'that's Sirius Black, and he's just come through the Veil' a cough, and the man continued, 'best just to go, it'll be a while before it's all sorted out, and then there'll be a rush. I'll just go and send the word round.'

The man disappeared, the coach door slid shut, and the engine hummed into life.

* * *

Six hours of underground-coach-travel later, Sirius found his way to 12 Pie-cat Crescent. He stood by the gate and looked. He wanted to go in. He didn't want to go in.

The lawn was bright green, the laburnum in full yellow blossom, and a breeze stirred the nasturtiums in the flowerbed. The front door was painted green. It had a heavy iron knocker. The dandelions sprouting between the flagstones were friendly, bright, brilliant.

He sighed, and stepped through the gate. Paced up the path. Pulled up the knocker, and let it fall.

Inside he heard a frantic scuffling, and suddenly the door was yanked open.

Before him stood a hunched old lady, her eyes wide. She saw him and yelped. 'Dad!' she croaked, flinging her arms around him. He gasped, his mind racing, and suddenly grabbed her shoulders, pushed her back, peered at her face.

'Ruby?' he whispered. She nodded vigorously. He felt tears in his eyes. 'You're so old.'

Ruby stared at him solemnly for a moment. Then she frowned. And suddenly she was laughing, 'Oh God, I didn't think! I was five last time I saw you wasn't I? Hang on.'

She bit her lip, closed her eyes, and suddenly she was shrinking, her hair was turning black, and she was a perfect, pink little five year old, grinning up at him.

Sirius was too shocked to speak. When Ruby reached her arms up he could only just concentrate enough to bend down, and hug her as tightly as he could.

He heard someone else come into the room. Then a voice. 'Sirius?'

He looked up.

In the doorway was Chloe. Chloe, just as she'd been at Hogwarts, fifteen, her brown eyes staring up at him as though she was drowning, and he was air. Shaking, she knelt and put the two cups of tea she was holding down on the carpet.

Then she was dashing towards him, and he was disentangling himself from Ruby, and suddenly their arms were round each other, and her face was buried in his shoulder, and they were crying into each other, and smiling with relief. And she reached up to his now long hair, brushed it from his face, felt the age in the skin of his cheek from the years of Azkaban. And then, for the first time in fifteen years, she kissed him.

Sirius wasn't having a bad day anymore. Sirius was having the best day of his life.

No, not quite… Sirius was having the best day of his death.

* * *

AN:

Ok, after all these years, it's done. It's over. Finished. Finally. Half of the old gang have left. has changed a lot, JK's written another book, and HP fanfic is no longer my thing. But I actually finished.

(Of course, I still love Sirius, and I will still buy HP7 at midnight and drink so much coffee I'm shaking for the next two days, so I can read it in one sitting, but that's just the crazy after effects of an ex-obsession.)

(Thinking about it, if my theory about the ending of HP7 is right, then there might be another chapter, but that is currently purely hypothetical, so let us not consider its possible existence just yet.)

If you ever want me again, check ellierany. to everyone still reading, hi to anyone who's just read the whole thing. Cheers to my olde reviewers and readers for all the years. And again, to flamers: I now find flames amusing, so if you want to, go ahead, give me a good laugh.

Any mistakes I made; I couldn't find my OotP to check, I'm sorry.

I'd planned this chapter for so long, it's great to get it out of my system, even though I'm sure it could've been far better.

Lastly, thank you so much for reading, I really really do love you and appreciate your time for my writing, much as I hate to consider how poor quality it must have been when I started writing it three and a half years ago (and I'm going to avoid re-reading it and discovering the awful truth).

SIRIUS SERIOUSLY RULES FOREVER

love

Maigon Jesolite

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